My grandmother asks: "Have you gotten a damn girlfriend yet?"

And you respond, "No, I'm too busy roleplaying online - in fact, the only reason I came to see you today was because my campaign has been delayed."

My Grandmother asks why I'm not famous yet.

then my Grandad comments "cos he's a loser, June"

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

...
[quote=Grismath from the past]I am now posting from this girls bedroom... :em321: [/quote]

You know that stimulation of key areas on the body redirects blood from one's brain to said regions. This works more on women since those areas tend to have more fatty tissues and will demand more blood. Once normal blood-flow is diverted from the brain, higher brain-functions begin to slow down. Have fun...

Roach is telling you to touch her boobs and ***.

The other one is BIGGER

UPDATE: I went.

If anyone wants the full mission report, including audio, video, pictures, and MSpaints, I'll type it up.

Uh, DUH! Of course we do! Get to it!

Declassify the intel!

Type it....

Indeed

What we all really want to know is :

Did she touch your Canadian p<genki>s? [/COLOR][/SIZE]

MISSION REPORT

Phase 1: Preparation:

Because of the highly sensitive nature of this mission, the day was spent planning and gathering all needed supplies. Many contingencies were thought of and prepared for.

Due to the need for undercover surveillance, an unobtrusive headpiece was obtained that would allow one to record audio and video, even in low-light situations.

Fig.1: The Head-Mounted Recording Unit (HMRU)



As you can see in the picture, the microcamera (left) is affixed to the headgear (right) with adhesive strips for quick removal and reattaching. There are two wide-spectrum illuminators mounted above the lens (blue) and to the right of the lens (black). These facilitate low- or no- light recording. The recorder itself uses a variable-focus lens system (allowing for zoom up to 16x) and a charge-coupled device which converts the light into electrical signals which are then stored on a long, thin, magnetic strip. This setup can record up to two hours of fully uncompressed NTSC video.

The HMRU was later dropped from the mission supply list for being too bulky and prone to multiple failure modes.

As any spy can tell you, it is necessary to be able to fit in in any social situation. Drawing attention to one's self is a very bad thing, and nothing draws attention like bad breath. So I opted for some Dentyne Ice mint-flavoured chewing gum.

Fig. 2: Chewing gum



With the overall preparations complete, I then prepared for any possible eventuality. I broke it down into two possibilities:
A. It goes well
B. It doesn't go well.

For possibility A, a pack of Durex condoms.

Fig. 3: In case it goes well:



For possibility B, there was the potential that I would have to make a quick getaway. Thus, my trusty laser for blinding any pursuers.

Fig. 4: In case it doesn't go well:



So concludes the report on Phase 1. Phase 2 coming soon.

OOooh, Dentyne.

Hahahahahaha!!!

Haha. The suspense.

Alright, I'm too lazy to edit all the audio and video and whatever, and drag this story on for another couple of posts, so I'll skip right to the conclusion.

Two main important things:

1. I got her e-mail address.

2. I got a picture of her, which I shall now share with you massassians. No, I didn't ask for her permission to post the picture on the internet. HOWEVER, I had a copy of it where I blurred out her face, which was the one I meant to upload, but I accidentally uploaded the non-censored one. And on random-m, not only can you not delete pictures once they are uploaded, but anyone can see them by just clicking "refresh" on the front page. So bah, whatever, here she is:

You've done good, kyle. You've done good.

Now post your picture.

And hey Kyle, what city do you live in? You're one of the Massassi people that I think it might actually be cool to meet in real life.

But I need to be sure you're not some psycho stalking me with the internet.

You could of course, just attach a censored picture. Also, in case in anyone gets any ideas, don't be clicking refresh on that random-m site. Random nastiness will occur (is this news or am I late?). Now if you'll excuse me I need to go inject bleach into my eyeballs.

Post pictures of Granny.

-... I swear I'm not gonna fap to them... mmm granny porn... *fap fap*

http://forums.massassi.net/vb3/showthread.php?t=39699&page=1&p=634697



Alternately Sarnia and Toronto, Ontario, depending on whether I'm at school or not.

Yep, I'm one o' dem scary Canadians.

I see kittens!!

Yes, there are indeed kittens about. I have some video clips of them chasing around the laser dot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOtAK36Eae8

You should hit that like the fist of an angry god.

She looks like, 15

All the better... [insert cat-face smiley here]

I bet you can't wait to pet her pussy.



... I'm talking about the cat, you sick bastards

THATS MY COUSIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had you going there for a second didn't I? Well I'm still dropping by for cookies and sex when I go down to Markham.

I wish I ran into grandmothers who would pawn off their cute granddaughters

She has a nice pussy.


<.<

You could go hang out at a senior citizen facility. That might help things along.

I am going up to my grandmother's this weekend. So hopefully either a) Grandma pawns me off to some cute girl or b) One of grandma's (many) friends has a cute granddaughter and she pawns her off to me.

This could work...right?

Edit: Signs of patheticness #21: Wanting either your 78 year old grandmother try to set you up or one of grandmother's friends set you up.

No comment.

why can't i get lucky like that

You need to start giving girls some notmagnet. They'll be stuck with you.

>.>

"Pimped By A Grandma"?

I smell a crappy MTV dating show.