Massassi Forums Logo

This is the static archive of the Massassi Forums. The forums are closed indefinitely. Thanks for all the memories!

You can also download Super Old Archived Message Boards from when Massassi first started.

"View" counts are as of the day the forums were archived, and will no longer increase.

ForumsDiscussion Forum → Non-facial shaving...
12
Non-facial shaving...
2006-06-11, 2:01 AM #41
Originally posted by Jarl:
Oh trust me, that can REALLY backfire on ya.
I was gonna search for this long account of my... "experiments"... but I can't find it, so I'll give you the short version.
I was experimenting with lubricants that could be found anywhere at anytime for any use, if you know what I mean ( masturbation ). I tried, at various times, shampoo, which works great; toothpaste, which I thought would effervesce but only stung really really really badly on my penis ; tanning oil, which isn't so bad; actual proper sexual lubricant which I found in the laundromat at our apartment complex, which was pretty darn good but not as good as regular saliva ; and, uh, hair conditioner.
Er...
It had adverse effects.
My penis started to burn before I was finished masturbating . I went to sleep that night with sharp pain all over my groin . When I woke up the next morning, my penis was GONE. Seriously. It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. You see, my penis and balls had shrivled up, shrunk, and... like... fused together. The whole thing was covered in this thick orange skin. It was terrible.
Two weeks later, it started to peel. Keep in mind, this is two weeks in puberty during which erections were incredibly painful, as was sweating and other wonderful things. Well, when it started to peel, huge chunks of skin would come off. It was the worst two days of my life.
Sure looked nice afterwards, though.

-I'm sorry... was that too much information?



First off, that really made me laugh given my drunken state. Second, I think he was literally talking about soften the hair.
Pissed Off?
2006-06-11, 2:08 AM #42
Originally posted by Jarl:
Keep in mind, this is two weeks in puberty during which erections were incredibly painful

What? I must have missed that.

Also, to soften the hair, take a shower and use some moisturizing shave gel or cream, and nothing with fragrances. Fragrances irritate skin. Aveeno's line of products is great, so try one of their shave gels.
Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.
2006-06-11, 3:56 AM #43
Are you supposed to, or something?
Hey, Blue? I'm loving the things you do. From the very first time, the fight you fight for will always be mine.
2006-06-11, 8:10 AM #44
Originally posted by Jarl:
Oh trust me, that can REALLY backfire on ya.
I was gonna search for this long account of my... "experiments"... but I can't find it, so I'll give you the short version.
I was experimenting with lubricants that could be found anywhere at anytime for any use, if you know what I mean ( masturbation ). I tried, at various times, shampoo, which works great; toothpaste, which I thought would effervesce but only stung really really really badly on my penis ; tanning oil, which isn't so bad; actual proper sexual lubricant which I found in the laundromat at our apartment complex, which was pretty darn good but not as good as regular saliva ; and, uh, hair conditioner.
Er...
It had adverse effects.
My penis started to burn before I was finished masturbating . I went to sleep that night with sharp pain all over my groin . When I woke up the next morning, my penis was GONE. Seriously. It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. You see, my penis and balls had shrivled up, shrunk, and... like... fused together. The whole thing was covered in this thick orange skin. It was terrible.
Two weeks later, it started to peel. Keep in mind, this is two weeks in puberty during which erections were incredibly painful, as was sweating and other wonderful things. Well, when it started to peel, huge chunks of skin would come off. It was the worst two days of my life.
Sure looked nice afterwards, though.

-I'm sorry... was that too much information?

*Notes for future reference*

That could eh...get painful, given my current state in life.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-06-11, 1:54 PM #45
i agree jarl's self-love misadventures FTW
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2006-06-11, 3:22 PM #46
Next time, save yourself the trouble and use a banana.
2006-06-11, 3:33 PM #47
Trimmed. For the ladies. Hair is disgusting.
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2006-06-11, 3:35 PM #48
i trim in the summer for sake of excessive sweating.
2006-06-11, 3:35 PM #49
Wasn't there a thread about some kinda razor that trims private parts?

You know, that was funny?
2006-06-11, 3:38 PM #50
http://www.shaveeverywhere.com

Funny commercial. I have no problem believing they made it though.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-06-11, 4:40 PM #51
Originally posted by Emon:
What? I must have missed that.

I meant that getting frisky would hurt due to the conditioner.

To be honest, when I slumped out of bed this morning (I haven't really slept in a while, which may help explain the post) I wasn't really certain I had written this.
Well this just puts my user title into a whole new light.

-Anyways, even if I was coherent last night and not suffering from severe delerium, I probably woulda still told the story. I tell it everywhere, it seems. It's a fun story, with a happy ending.
2006-06-11, 5:08 PM #52
Used to shave.

Smooth feels neat.

But it's too much work, so I just trim it.
2006-06-12, 3:42 AM #53
Originally posted by Jepman:
Trimmed. For the ladies. Hair is disgusting.


+1
2006-06-12, 9:18 AM #54
I only shave after peeing in the shower to prevent athlete's foot.

Honestly, have we really run out of acceptable forum topics?
2006-06-12, 10:13 AM #55
The only people getting points here are the ones that didn't post.

-oh snap.
2006-06-12, 1:29 PM #56
are we talking about what we prefer on someone else or for ourselves...? cause i voted on what i do myself... :ninja:
Welcome to the douchebag club. We'd give you some cookies, but some douche ate all of them. -Rob
2006-06-12, 1:31 PM #57
Since GBK isn't here:

"This forum has sunk to a new low."
"The solution is simple."
2006-06-12, 1:47 PM #58
After Jarl's monologue, I feel the need to wash my brain.
"Harriet, sweet Harriet - hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
2006-06-12, 2:06 PM #59
wash? i want to dunk it into javelizant.
"NAILFACE" - spe
2006-06-12, 2:59 PM #60
Oh my god, Jarl. You had me laughing so hard on that post of yours. Ah, pure greatness.

As for me, I also find shaving takes too long, and I've actually had some *close encounters* where I seriously found myself thanking god that I didn't cut...well you know. So now I just kind of trim when it gets way out of control and looks like a tropical rainforest.
Author of the JK levels:
Sand Trap & Sand Trap (Night)

2006-06-12, 3:22 PM #61
i've never trimmed my special area for intercourse, the girl never asked me to, or even hinted at it.

Though my snail trail is fast becoming a snail SPLAT on my stomach :(
Code:
if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}
2006-06-12, 3:25 PM #62
Crimeny Jarl!

I think we're done with this thread.
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
12

↑ Up to the top!