If you want, start at the bold line.

My girlfriend has a hell of a time with her mom.
The woman married into money, and doesn't really work at all. She does drive her youngest daughter to and from the cities so that she can get skating lessons and compete in competitions, but that's about all of her responsibilities right there.

Everything else? She makes her kids do.
They wash the dishes, clean the yard, clean the different floors of the house, bathe/brush the dog, wash anyone's clothes that need washing, drive people places, and anything else.

Sure, some kids need that kind of work: But that's not why they do it.
It's because she has absolutely no responsibilities if they do it.

She enjoys a fine life of hipocracy and riticuling. A moment may not pass in her household in which she is not riticuling someone. It doesn't at all matter if she does the very same thing; what's important is that she's the one that's not doing it at the moment, when it's most important.

She acts like a child pretty much all of the time, and her husband barely puts up with her. He works day and night shifts in an ER, and when he isn't doing that, he's reading heart scans and deciding if people are dying or not. He works his entire life so that she can spend all of the money that she does, and lay around the house like she does.

Once when he and I were playing poker, he won the pot and my girlfriend wanted to play so he said "I've got a little extra," and was going to give it to her. From the other room, his wife says "I'll take that." He replies: "You do."

----------------------------------BOLD LINE----------------------------------

Let's get down to my problem: I've spent the night at her house, and she's spent the night at mine, too. Both of us believes in sex after marriage, and it really isn't a problem for us at all. We can still have some fun/pleasure without risking having kids, and that's all that matters. Her father once said to her, "You know, your mother thinks that all you and Brandon do is have sex upstairs." because we always hang out in her loft and snuggle and talk. Her father completely understands his daughter, as well as me. He trusts me pretty far, and it shows.

Two nights ago I went to a party at her house, and I mentioned that I may need to spend the night to avoid coming back home too late and waking up my parents who were leaving early to get fireworks. She mentions this to her mother, assuming it'd be fine, and she says: "No, I want to get up and get work done."

We're confused and I mention "I'm going to hop on a bus early in the morning because I've got something to do at home anyway." and she decides that "Well I can just take you home, then." Of course, that defeates the purpose, so I explain: "My parents are leaving very early in the morning. It'd be easier for me and my family if I could stay the night. I won't be in your hair, and I'll leave bright and early."

She says: "I just don't like the overnight thing."

So I ended up getting home at about midnight, and my parents stayed up because they didn't know if I had my key or not to get into the house. She imposed on my family because of HER stupid insecurities. My girlfriend asked her later: "What, do you think we were just going to ****!?" and her mother said "It isn't that I don't trust Brandon, it's that I don't trust YOU."

So tonight is the 4th of July, and my FAVORITE night of the year. We light of fireworks well into the wee hours of the morning. I REALLY wanted to have my girlfriend stay for the whole show, as it is also my birthday celebration (6th of July). She's alergic to smoke (My dad smokes 2 cartons a day) so we set up the tent in the back yard and blew up the airbed after her dad said it was ok.

This morning he mentioned to her "Courtney's staying over the night at Brandon's, and she wasn't going to tell you that because she thought you wouldn't like that. I said she could, though." in an attempt to show her that saying no would be unreasonable. She said:

"She's right I don't like it, and she's not staying over there."

And now she's getting picked up early tonight, so she won't even get to stay for the fireworks.

This ***** is seriously starting to piss the hell out of me. She KNOWS very well that we aren't ****ing. In fact, she likes to boast to her friends that she doesn't let her daughter sleep with her boyfriend. She seems to think that all of the rich mothers will think her a moral queen if she is strict to her children.

How do I handle this? More than likely I'm going to call and try to explain to her why she needs to back the **** off. Courtney gets her lisence very soon, and we'll have a lot more assumed freedom, and before then I'd like to ACTUALLY gain that freedom for her by shutting her God damned mother up.

There's the issue that I'm a Freshman in College, and she'll be a Junior in high school, but agewise, we're only a year appart. That wasn't a problem when we were just kissing, so it shouldn't be a problem now that we sleep in the same bed with eachother. We've been together for a year in September, and it's really become detrmintal to our relationship.

How do I kick this ***** in the teeth without actually doing that?

BUUUUUURN HER!
EDIT: I have no idea. Maybe you should just explain things to her. It doesn't sound like she'd listen but it's worth a shot.

Kill it with fire, and all that crap.

But seriously, I wouldn't bring up the license, because that could very well be a trigger that would make her mom prevent her from getting it. If it was me I'd just put up with it for a little longer, once she has a driver's license, then plan a course of action for reply.

To add to Darkjedibob, I would wait till she had both licence and car just in case she came up with a way to keep her from getting one. From that story it sounds like she may try reguardless of what you do, though.

This probably doesn't exactly sound viable at the moment, but is it possible just to ignore her? If shes pissing you off, then she's winning. Stay as calm as you can throughout all this, if she makes you mad then your just that much more likely to do or say something stupid. You've got to be the mature one here if shes not going to. And calling her up to tell her off is a very bad idea; as soon as she hangs up with you she'll call all her friends and tell them what a dick you are, and then as soon as your girlfriend's father gets home, I guarentee you 100% that she'll tell him how you threatened to kill her and your girlfriend if she didn't move to another country. No, he almost definately won't believe her, but if ANYONE were to tell you that your daughter's life was in danger, don't you think that would stick with you a bit?

Try talking to the father first. He seems like a reasonable guy from the story. If you think you can talk to him freely than lay it out to him. He will probably be able to help you in some kind of way. But the overall thing is to stay calm and don't get pissed.

Wow, that's not a bad idea. Talking to him might be a good way of damage control. I'll still probably mention something to her mom, but it was never my intention to be anything more than an angel. I know how to deal with adults that don't act like they are adults.

I don't think that saying something to her will do a bit of good. After that story, I think shes amazingly stubburn. So stubburn, that shes already formed her opinions and knows what shes going to say to every question you ask, and I don't think the answers shes picked are in your favor. You MIGHT try to say somethign to her, but odds are it'll just piss her off and cause bigger problems.

Thing is, unless you play by HER rules, you're going to really irk her. Heck, I bet if you roll in there wrong and "park your chair in the wrong corner" it would piss her off from here to heck. But then if her hypocrisy is as bad as you say, it's going to be impossible not to rub her the wrong way.

Finding a right answer here is going to be difficult, to say the least. Even if you go talk to her father, then you went AROUND her, and if she finds out about I guarentee you it's open Kirby season. This is a Catch-22, it's going to be difficult to win either way. Still, you've gotta decide whether her mother is a lost cause and win over the father (bad idea, just think of having to live with her for the rest of your life if she doesn't like you) or come up with some way to win her over, which won't be through logic or reasoning, God forbid anything like that, but just by playing her game.

For the record here, I'm just throwing out all the options I can think to give you Kirby based off that story. But I would like to stress how bad a idea it is if you piss her off, because you have to put up with her if you're going to stay together with your girlfriend. And if shes mad, she might just take it out on your girlfriend.

She and I have both dicided that talking to her father would be the best idea.

Her mother has completely avoided actually stating "I think that you two will have sex." In her defense, she's avoiding the thought of her daughter ****ing. The problem with that is she's avoiding the ACTUAL issue.

My parents, in the later stages of our relationship, asked me very simply: Are you two having sex?
I said "No. We know the dangers of that, and we don't want to have kids. We can have lots of fun and enjoyment without the danger of having a kid."
They said "Thank you for your honesty, and be careful." That's it.

If her mother realized that she needs to make the actual issue she's having apparent, then we could discuss them. Simply saying NO is a bad idea. If we wanted to have sex, we wouldn't need the whole "overnight" thing to do it. We'd find any means we needed to have sex if we wanted to. She's not helping us at all.

The fact that we AREN'T having sex and we're VERY proud of that is something her father appreciates. I already have his trust, but I want to let him know that his wife's trust is something we don't have. I'm going to put it right out there what the issue is: His wife thinks we're having sex, and we aren't, and I need the both of them to know how serious I am about not having sex.

Shhh. Be wewy wewy quiet, I'm hunting cwazy mothers.

BLAM!

Pwoblem solved.

Good luck with it. Here's to hopeing that you can at least get her to lay off, and to hopeing she believes that you're serious about no sex till marriage.

damn kirby I feel your pain. except in my case its my dad who's an *******. he's overprotective and so old school. and everyone is like "he's doing it because he loves you" and im like "BS he's doing it because he has control issues" see I'm still a virgin and I can control myself plenty, and I havent had sex with any guys yet, but he's still like all "its going to happen blah blah" he's just got issues because when he was younger he was one of those ******* guys who were in the wrong crowd getting into fights, skipping school and etc. I'm not like that obviously, as im more of a home body and if I do spend the night at a guys house im not going over there for sex, but alas he's a ******.

I dont know what to tell you about that girls mom. she seems old and set in her ways just like my dad. the only way i've been able to shut him up at times is by throwing it in his face that he's too controlling and that he needs to get a life and get out of mine because I've never done anything bad for him not to be trusting me around guys. I mean he gets mad when I merely mention guys. ahhh he pisses me off. sorry im annoyed at him right now...can u tell. anyways, sorry dude, all I can say is, you both need to find another place to hang out besides her house or have her talk to her dad and tell her mom to ease off since you all havent done anything as far as sex goes, and that you both believe in sex after marriage you know. who knows maybe her dad will help and tell the mom to calm down

Kirby believes in sex after marriage? I am shocked.

Well, doesn't everybody? No one would get married if they didn't believe that!

Also, I'm sorry kirbs, I don't know what to suggest. I know you're the hoenst type, and I also know you're far too intelligent to just do something stupid like that. But I haven't really been in a situation like this before, so I have no personal experience to offer. I just hope everything works out for you man!

Here's what you do.

Talk to her mom. Tell her that you both have pledged to not have sex until (if ever) you get married, but to allievate the urges, you both have sex with other people. That way, you don't need to **** each other.

Then punch her in the throat and elbow-drop her in the teeth.

Problem solved.

well, this may not be the advice you want to hear but. My advice seriously is slowdown a bit. on your not having sex good, but you have a few years before you will be ready to get maried. So I don't think getting that close physicly is such a good idea if you don't want to have sex. It might help her mom trust you more if you also sit down with her and explain that you want to slow things down (both of you together). then she may be more inclined to trust you two. I'm not saying her mom is right, but you can't just fix her, and since she is your girlfreind's mother she still has some authority over her children. I think her Dad should be the one with the final say, but you need to respect the wishes of her mom too.

might not be what you want to hear but I think it would be for the best.

tell your mam that your fannys mam hates cripples and acuses you of rape.

MILFWAR.

I've only read Kirb's original post, but here's what I have to say:

Telling your significant other's parent how to be a parent is a very very bad thing to do. They certainly don't like it. My advice: just stay out of contact with her mom as much as possible and talk to the dad instead when parental decisions need to be made.

[QUOTE=Mr. Stafford]tell your mam that your fannys mam hates cripples and acuses you of rape.

MILFWAR.[/QUOTE]


I approve.

At the end of the day, as you long as you have access to boobs, nothing else matters.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

have sex with her, take pictures and show them to her mom

2 CARTONS a day? you mean packs?

But yea some people suck. just deal with it.

[QUOTE=Glyde Bane]I approve.[/QUOTE]
Seconded. As long as neither of them are fat and saggy.

Best idea yet. Add a MILFWAR into it, and you've got pure gold.

go with this. I hear moms like that kind of thing.

[QUOTE=Squirrel King]2 CARTONS a day? you mean packs? [/QUOTE]

No, I mean cartons. He isn't seen without a cigarette in his mouth.

So talk about hipocracy: She shows up at 12:30 last night with her 12 year old son and husband in the car, all of whom which have to get up WAY early in the morning to go to the cities. She had ALREADY planned on going to her friend's house with her family, and KNEW she wouldn't get out until late. We had figured she wasn't going to come get her so we were dead asleep. So she literally wasted the entire argument by letting her stay until 1 oclock anyway. In the end, had she let her stay over, she could have got dressed and ready to go skating ACROSS THE STREET at 9 in the morning instead of having to get up at 1, go home, go to bed, get up at 7, and drive back to the rink across from my house.

Her mom is a freaking anal whore, and I guess her dad realized the hipocracy of the entire situation himself and *****ed the whole car ride home.

I'm probably going to call him later today and discuss the entire situation, and ask him if he can help us gain a little more freedom, with his blessing of course.

I DO like the punching in the throat and elbow to the teeth, though.

2 Cartons? Wow.

And that sounds like a good idea. Just...if a MILFWAR ensues, I want to be in the know.

how old are you/her

Yeah, if the age difference isn't to big perhaps you could bring the mom to senses with some ninja-midget lovin'!

Kick that ***** in the ****.

Kick that bread in the seed?

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

.

(In all seriousness, get to her through your girlfriend's father. Your story is a bit biased against her, so she may have strange reasons to why that is. Also, she's on something. Seriously. The way you described her reminds me of several people that are on drugs.)

YES! XD

Or... maybe he's older than you and is trying to protect you. Just maybe. And maybe he has more experience than you do too.

Damn right.

Or the person is extremely overprotective and controlling. I know people like this. My GF's mom is like this. They will claim what they are doing is in someone's best interest but it's really not.

Seriously, the crap you can get from mothers of girlfriends or mothers in law is unreal. My best mate is 18, his girl is 19 and the parents still treat her like she's 12 or something. They accused the pair of them of doing the dirty (when they hadn't) and shoved his girl on the pill, which totally messed her up because she didn't need it. Look on the bright side, I've had girlfriends be forced to dump me by their parents. One day you'll just be old and free enough to say STFU, look forward to it. Maybe your open defiance of the mother would show just how important this girl is to you - at least that's how I'd play it if I had a difficult mother to deal with.

Ok, here's some 'If all else fails' advice you haven't had yet, but it really worked for me.

The thing is, that mom is really manipulative. Even if you get a car and a license, she's still going to do whatever she can to control her daughter's life.

I've been in a very similar sort of situation, and we solved it by making the mom realize she was no longer able to control her daughter's life.

In our case, it was the same thing, it wasn't about sex. We just wanted to get away from the control. And, talking never helped. So at some point we had a week school vacation and went to a friend's place. We stayed away for several days, only making a single call to say that we were ok, with friends, and that we would be back in a few days.

It worked. Ofcourse there was a big-*** argument when she came back, but the message came through anyway. We were not letting that person control our lives any longer.

The next time she wanted something her mom didn't even bother to protest anymore. "You'll do whatever you want anyway..."

So yeah, it's a tricky move, because I don't know how this particular mom is going to take it. You know her best, so you be the judge of that. If you think you can pull it off without turning her life into a hell because of the mom's retaliation, it's worth the shot if all else fails.

okay see, I'm not trying to support the mother here, she seriously sounds like a *****, but I honestly do NOT see her coming to see reason if you try to strip her of all control. As much as you guys probably will disagree, a parent has a right and a responsibility to control thier kid to a certain degree at the age of 16. Seriously, if you try to strip her paternts of all control, her father will have no reason to support you and you will become the enemy, almost rightfully so. I honestly don't think any parent - oh very well, I honestly think few parents - deserve to be put in a situation where they feel completely helpless to do anything for their daughter. I know it's unlikely that you'll ever win over her mother, but if you at least try to go along with her father, he'll have reason to trust and support you, and the nmother would have less ammunition against you. I know that my mother trusts me completely, sickeningly good kid that I am, and yet if I had a boyfriend I sincerely doubt she would ever let me stay at his house. She's let me stay at my guy friends' houses before, but she knows them well and to be honest, she usually thinks they're gay.

Hm, you may be right. It depends... My girlfriend was 17 at the time... perhaps that's slightly older? Not sure.... Anyway, it was really a case of her mom not being able to let go.

Sugaless is right.

tell your gf's mom that you're 100% gay, a rapant Back-Tickler, A Saucy-Sue.

Then she wont have an issue with you.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}