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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Amusing ways of getting children killed.
12
Amusing ways of getting children killed.
2006-07-24, 5:05 PM #1
1. Renaming train tracks SUPER MEGA HAPPY ULTIMATE LOVE LOVE ENJOYMENT FUNLANDS.

Post your own!
2006-07-24, 5:06 PM #2
2. Fork & Steak-knife
omnia mea mecum porto
2006-07-24, 5:06 PM #3
3. letting spe post on the internet
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2006-07-24, 5:08 PM #4
4. Tell them that a fridge is an awesome bedroom.
2006-07-24, 5:08 PM #5
5. Cillit Bang takes like happy.
nope.
2006-07-24, 5:09 PM #6
6. Offer razor blades and syrringes in Happy Meals.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2006-07-24, 5:10 PM #7
7. Take them to see Superman Returns, at the end of the film inform them:

"you know... backflipping off of a mountain gives you those kind of superpowers..."
2006-07-24, 5:14 PM #8
8. Get your city to reject laws with low speed limits around schools and daycares and then sabotage the cross-walk lights.
omnia mea mecum porto
2006-07-24, 5:14 PM #9
- Removing warning labels on chemicals and putting said chemicals in room.

- Let the play real hangmen in the backyard.

- Tell them a highway is the best spot for street hockey, or just to 'hang out'.

- Put plastic bags in the crib.

- Let them in the deep end of a pool, without supervison... or a way out.

- Tell them to try and eat as much drywall plaster in the shortest amount of time.

- Allow them access to kitchen utensil to play 'operation'.

- Tell them 'beware of dog' means hes just a extremely playful puppy.

- Fork. Wall outlet.
Got a permanent feather in my cap;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
2006-07-24, 5:15 PM #10
18. Teach them the rules to the game "crossing the road longways".

haha. sol needs less murder and more subtle suggestion.... i mean, theres some good stuff, but giving a kid a knife will land you in a world of hurt!

i mean, going to prison for this **** is just sick and wrong.
2006-07-24, 5:17 PM #11
19. Tell them that antifreeze is the latest flavor of cool-ade.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2006-07-24, 5:17 PM #12
19. GANG BANG
2006-07-24, 5:18 PM #13
-Throw a lot of bug bombs into a room. Thrown in a few matches for good measure. RUN

-duct tape a model rocket engine (the bigger the better) in side their mouth and set it off

-see how many crayons you can shove into your skull! use hammer as necessary.
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2006-07-24, 5:19 PM #14
20. Give them a realistic looking toy gun and say, "You know, police officers like to play"Cops and Robbers" too."
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2006-07-24, 5:19 PM #15
25. I'm sure nobody would look at you twice if you started grieving over the fact your child managed to get hold of and chew up a glass.
2006-07-24, 5:21 PM #16
tell them to go tell a hell's angel that the fat man has an ugly moped.
2006-07-24, 5:32 PM #17
- Take a trip to Antartica and don't pack them any warm clothing.

- Thrown them out of a moving vehicle.

- Let them sit in the pan of your new fangled rock climber as you go up a 45 degree incline.

- Let them install your new car battery, cleverly removing the color indicators for the negative and positve cables.

- Force feed them mercury.

- Tell them motor oil is really just chocolate sryup
Got a permanent feather in my cap;
Got a stretch to my stride;
a stroll to my step;
2006-07-24, 5:44 PM #18
Powerful metamphetamines.

Failing that, aimed super sledge to the groin.
Hey, Blue? I'm loving the things you do. From the very first time, the fight you fight for will always be mine.
2006-07-24, 5:55 PM #19
Tie them up and slowly press down on them with a large disk sander until there's nothing left. Feed the offal to other children.
Why do the heathens rage behind the firehouse?
2006-07-24, 5:56 PM #20
"hey! i know you're only seven, but i am confident you're perfectly ready to navigate the autobahn on your own!"
2006-07-24, 6:01 PM #21
Who wants to go on a tunnel run? [Leads to grinder.]
nope.
2006-07-24, 6:24 PM #22
[QUOTE=Mr. Stafford]"hey! i know you're only seven, but i am confident you're perfectly ready to navigate the autobahn on your own!"[/QUOTE]

"In a car?"

"No, on your bicycle!"
2006-07-24, 6:26 PM #23
Originally posted by Shintock:
"In a car?"

"No, on your bicycle!"


"don't be stupid! real men do it with forward rolls!"
2006-07-24, 6:28 PM #24
Take them out into the middle of a good gator and snake infested Louisiana swamp and leave them there overnight. If they survive, they're keepers. Bonus points if they find they're way back to you before dawn.
<Rob> This is internet.
<Rob> Nothing costs money if I don't want it to.
2006-07-24, 6:29 PM #25
yeah, bonus points if you live inside a ricin tipped spike.

**** them surviving.
2006-07-24, 8:23 PM #26
put them in a battlebot/robot wars arena, and give them a screwdriver as their weapon
$do || ! $do ; try
try: command not found
Ye Olde Galactic Empire Mission Editor (X-wing, TIE, XvT/BoP, XWA)
2006-07-24, 8:42 PM #27
Strangers have the best candy!
2006-07-24, 9:03 PM #28
10 shots of everclearrr wil kill teh kiddsies
2006-07-24, 9:05 PM #29
sew their *** holes shut and just keep feedin' them and feedin' them....
Deluxe Weapons Pack- Setting the standard for mediocrity.
2006-07-24, 9:19 PM #30
Originally posted by Gilgamesh85:
Strangers have the best candy!

<3
I had a blog. It sucked.
2006-07-24, 9:30 PM #31
Hey kids, I have this wonderful drink for you guys to have! It tastes like almonds!!!
The cake is a lie... THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!
2006-07-24, 9:34 PM #32
Tell them to go to Disney World dressed as Pluto (I think that was the character) and play in front of one of the floats...

no lie, a guy died while playing the character when the float ran him over
2006-07-24, 11:33 PM #33
Kick in the face!
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2006-07-24, 11:43 PM #34
Be born in Africa.

-... this is really depressing humor.
2006-07-24, 11:54 PM #35
Give them videogames.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-07-25, 12:22 AM #36
Tell them Mr. Rodgers is waiting for them in the middle of a nearby freeway.

or...

To a little boy who's obsessed with Star Wars, "Hey little boy! Go play in the back of that garbage truck! You can be just like Luke Skywalker on the Death Star!"

or better yet...

"You know, those big jet plane engines are really just Stargates, kiddo! You should see where they take you!"

:psyduck:
2006-07-25, 12:52 AM #37
Give them guns and tell them to play Army. NO SURVIVORS. SHOOT YOURSELF. ITS JUST PRETEND.
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2006-07-25, 3:44 AM #38
"hey, go call that guy a dick"

[http://www.dictatorofthemonth.com/Pol_Pot/polbw3.jpg]
2006-07-25, 12:30 PM #39
"Jimmy did i ever tell you that "Warning! Electrical!" Means the wires are made of licorice?"
2006-07-25, 12:40 PM #40
You could do what America does, and overfeed your children into obesity and diabetes.

Then give them alot of sugar.
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