I love beef stew.
It is the epitome of a manly food. Everything about it.
Even the vegetables in beef stew become manly food, becasue they are embued with the manliness of beef during the stewing process.
But beef stew eating is an art. Both in the making of beef stew, and the eating of beef stew.
When making beef stew you face several challenges. Most of which revolve around how much beef should the stew consist of? Obviously the answer is mostly. But you have to leave room for those lovely stew-juices and vegetables. I mean, if I wanted to eat cooked beef, I'd eat cooked beef. But even the manliest of men gets tired of just cooked beef.
Stew eating is an art, on which everything depends on pacing. Nothing sucks more than eating all of the meat before you're done a full portion. You might as well call it pussy stew, because only a total nancy boy would eat a beef stew with no beef.
There are several different stew eating styles, but they're all derived from the main three;
The "I'm full" technique:
This is the most simple, but by far the least practiced of stew eating techniques.
You gorge yourself on all the meaty chunklets, and only the meaty chunklets. After you're sure you've eaten all the beef in your serving, you proudly protest that you are full. Make sure you obtain an extra larger serving, because even with the meatiest of stews using this technique incorrectly can easily find you hungry as hell afterwards.
One should also be careful to leave a hearty amount of sauce in the bowl, to hide the vegetables under. There is nothing more annoying after eating all the meat, as having some un-manly piece of crap call you on not eating all the vegetables.
Obviously this school of thought is for those who wish not to eat the vegetables. But practicers of this technique often overlook the merits of beef embued vegetables.
The paced eating style:
This technique is for those who have the most self control over their beef eating. Not many actually succede, and will later revert to the "I'm full" technique a botched attempt at perfect pacing.
In theory, it's only slightly less complex than the "I'm full" technique. Basically, you pace yourself between meat and vegetables perfectly. But the most important part to remember is that the last thing you dish out of the bowl should ALWAYS be the largest meat chunk. Look proudly upon the final piece of beef. If it was a good stew, you'll definately want to savor the moment.
This is hard for one simple reason. It's hard to pace your beef eating. I'll put it another way. Try taking one bite of the most delicious steak ever. But you can't eat the rest. Obviously you'd go insane. The same is true in smaller amounts for stew eating. The slower beef eating pace gently drives you into a larger meat frenzy. Even the most experienced stew eaters will suddenly begind to over-gorge the beef leaving themselves with a fairly disproportionate beef-vegetable ratio. Obviously in vegetable favor. Although an experienced stew eater will often catch himself in time for the following technique.
The early gorge:
This is a very difficult technique to execute. Novices beware. But it's considerably less difficult than the pacing technique.
The early gorge, would have you eat nearly 90% of the beef from the stew as early as possible. Through sheer will-power you must then pull yourself from the meat frenzy, and employ a gorge against the vegetables.
I know, it sounds crazy. Gorging on vegetables? It isn't so bad. You'll still have thr sweet taste of the beef you just gorged in your mouth, and remember those veggies are embued with beefy-goodness.
Eat untill you've equalized the portions. Then refer to the pacing method for the rest of the meal, of which there shouldn't be much left of. It'll be easier to pace yourself after gorging on the meat early and getting your meat-urges over with.
I personally use the aforementioned technique the most.
So post, how do you eat your beef stew?
Beef stew haters feel free to post. But be warned, stew enthusiasts and men with even a shred of manliness will ignore all of your posts, because you obviously weren't born with a penis. Which means your opinion doesn't matter.
It is the epitome of a manly food. Everything about it.
Even the vegetables in beef stew become manly food, becasue they are embued with the manliness of beef during the stewing process.
But beef stew eating is an art. Both in the making of beef stew, and the eating of beef stew.
When making beef stew you face several challenges. Most of which revolve around how much beef should the stew consist of? Obviously the answer is mostly. But you have to leave room for those lovely stew-juices and vegetables. I mean, if I wanted to eat cooked beef, I'd eat cooked beef. But even the manliest of men gets tired of just cooked beef.
Stew eating is an art, on which everything depends on pacing. Nothing sucks more than eating all of the meat before you're done a full portion. You might as well call it pussy stew, because only a total nancy boy would eat a beef stew with no beef.
There are several different stew eating styles, but they're all derived from the main three;
The "I'm full" technique:
This is the most simple, but by far the least practiced of stew eating techniques.
You gorge yourself on all the meaty chunklets, and only the meaty chunklets. After you're sure you've eaten all the beef in your serving, you proudly protest that you are full. Make sure you obtain an extra larger serving, because even with the meatiest of stews using this technique incorrectly can easily find you hungry as hell afterwards.
One should also be careful to leave a hearty amount of sauce in the bowl, to hide the vegetables under. There is nothing more annoying after eating all the meat, as having some un-manly piece of crap call you on not eating all the vegetables.
Obviously this school of thought is for those who wish not to eat the vegetables. But practicers of this technique often overlook the merits of beef embued vegetables.
The paced eating style:
This technique is for those who have the most self control over their beef eating. Not many actually succede, and will later revert to the "I'm full" technique a botched attempt at perfect pacing.
In theory, it's only slightly less complex than the "I'm full" technique. Basically, you pace yourself between meat and vegetables perfectly. But the most important part to remember is that the last thing you dish out of the bowl should ALWAYS be the largest meat chunk. Look proudly upon the final piece of beef. If it was a good stew, you'll definately want to savor the moment.
This is hard for one simple reason. It's hard to pace your beef eating. I'll put it another way. Try taking one bite of the most delicious steak ever. But you can't eat the rest. Obviously you'd go insane. The same is true in smaller amounts for stew eating. The slower beef eating pace gently drives you into a larger meat frenzy. Even the most experienced stew eaters will suddenly begind to over-gorge the beef leaving themselves with a fairly disproportionate beef-vegetable ratio. Obviously in vegetable favor. Although an experienced stew eater will often catch himself in time for the following technique.
The early gorge:
This is a very difficult technique to execute. Novices beware. But it's considerably less difficult than the pacing technique.
The early gorge, would have you eat nearly 90% of the beef from the stew as early as possible. Through sheer will-power you must then pull yourself from the meat frenzy, and employ a gorge against the vegetables.
I know, it sounds crazy. Gorging on vegetables? It isn't so bad. You'll still have thr sweet taste of the beef you just gorged in your mouth, and remember those veggies are embued with beefy-goodness.
Eat untill you've equalized the portions. Then refer to the pacing method for the rest of the meal, of which there shouldn't be much left of. It'll be easier to pace yourself after gorging on the meat early and getting your meat-urges over with.
I personally use the aforementioned technique the most.
So post, how do you eat your beef stew?
Beef stew haters feel free to post. But be warned, stew enthusiasts and men with even a shred of manliness will ignore all of your posts, because you obviously weren't born with a penis. Which means your opinion doesn't matter.
I guess I'll start stocking up on flannel shirts