it's just a random generator

At age 65 aliens will abduct you and use your body for sick and often anally-oriented experiments before dropping you off outside of a local homeless shelter smelling of beer.

At age 71 you will take a near lethal dose of mescaline, wander the desert for six months, and eventually be eaten by coyotes.

At age 62 you will be hit by a train while napping on the railroad tracks.

At age 56 you will drown in a wading pool under mysterious circumstances. The only clue will be a small blue pacifier found around your neck.

At age 53 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill.

At age 32 while playing Tekken 23, a burgler will break into your house. A fight will ensue and you will lose.

At age 57 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then.

At age 33 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

At age 27 a statue will fall over and crush you while giving your acceptance speech for the position of Governor.

At age 70 you will be attacked by a pack of escaped lap dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again.

At age 42 you will become lost during a road trip and wind up living out the movie "Wrong Turn". Sorry for ya.

At age 61 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

At age 62 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!

At age 54 you will be gunned down in the street by hippies after enacting a bill that grants the WTO even more power.

At age 62 a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs.

At age 53 while playing Street Fighter Omega at an arcade, you will be electrocuted by the headset. You will be the first such death in years.

At age 66 a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of King Cobra.


Ford's is still best. :p

Todd: At age 40 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!

WTH!!!???!

But me and fishstikz share the same fate, only me at 26:

Peter: At age 40 after your spouse leaves you and your children disown you, you will go to work to find that you have been fired. This all proves too much to take. You decide to take a walk in the park but are robbed and murdered before you get there.

"Oh, dear. I'll have to invent something new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps some sort of death clock."

Cody: At age 62 the artificial intelligence software you programmed becomes self aware and devours you. You will be saved to disk though, so no worries.

Immortality for me!

Multi-deaths:

Jake: At age 41 you will fall into a vat of neutral shoe polish, and your body will never be recovered.

Jake: At age 72 you will drown in a wading pool under mysterious circumstances. The only clue will be a small blue pacifier found around your neck.

Jake: At age 35 a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of King Cobra.

Jake: At age 62 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

Ryan: At age 30 you will start playing an online game and become so addicted that you starve to death.

That sucks.

Tim: At age 46 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!

Yep, I guess that'd do the trick. Probably wouldn't take 36 hours though, more like 36 minutes.

Roxanne: At age 50 you will be attacked by a pack of escaped lap dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again.