Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
Because we're members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autrocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
By wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, my wife would not be impregnated.
That's what being a Protestant's all about! That's why it's the church for me! That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual, and the individual's right to decide for him- or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but… 400 years later, thanks to him, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.
And, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. French Ticklers! Black Mambos! Crocodile Ribs! Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
I can go down the road any time I want, and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, "Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant."
Sorry for the lousy German
