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:gbk:
2007-03-05, 9:34 PM #41
Originally posted by Echoman:
Well, you need a life to know a life lesson.


You're mean. :colbert:
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-03-05, 10:22 PM #42
Originally posted by Wolfy:
My take, generally, on the "nice guy" routine - the whole ":gonk: girls only like *******s" routine grates on my nerves. I only mentioned the "Mr. Nice Guy" because that's what it was - "blah blah you're a nice guy blah blah, etc., etc." All I wanted was an indication early on into the evening that she didn't feel that way about me - is that really that much to ask?

The problem is, every time I try to think of a way to present the way I feel about what happened, it always ends up with her being the villain (because, honestly, I really can't see anything I have to apologize for here :confused: ). I realize that I would probably regret completely cutting all ties to her, which is why I haven't simply told her to **** off and burned all the bridges. But if I did try and talk to her now, I think I'd only end up making the situation worse, if only for the fact of mutual friends (who I've not involved in this matter at all).

So, my decision is to, until I can figure out a way to not turn it into a personal attack on her, to avoid instigating any communication with her.

No! Release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy her!
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-05, 10:30 PM #43
The difference between men and women:
Originally posted by JediGandalf:
No! Release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy her!

Originally posted by quesadilla_red:
Just give it a couple days/weeks/how-ever-long-you-want and let all your emotions die down a bit. You don't want to say something that you probably will regret.


:P
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2007-03-05, 10:51 PM #44
I'm using this opportunity of Wolfy's distress to lure him in to the Dark Side.
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-05, 10:53 PM #45
So the Dark Side is more manly, yes?
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2007-03-05, 10:56 PM #46
Yes.

We have beer, steaks, and C to D sized breasted women, and LARGE HONKIN' STAR DESTROYERS. YEEE'HAW!
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-05, 11:09 PM #47
Women? Star Destroyers? Manliness? Who put your autobiography under fiction today.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2007-03-05, 11:11 PM #48
star destroyers, more like IM-TRYING-TO-COMPENSATE-FOR-SOMETHING-ELSE-ers
free(jin);
tofu sucks
2007-03-05, 11:19 PM #49
Trying to turn a friendship into a romantic thing is generally next to impossible, and usually doesn't happen. Hell, I'd say 99 out of 100 times it isn't even worth the effort.

And are you just friends with her because you hope sometime you can get with her? (think about that truthfully) If the answer is yes, then I'd say stop talking to her, and move on.
:master::master::master:
2007-03-05, 11:27 PM #50
Learn from it. Next time she's trying to use you for emotional support, get her into bed earlier in the night. It will start a very interesting self-destructive trend on her part, she'll get hurt, come to you, you use each other, she leaves for a few months and it happens all over again. In the end, she'll be a shell of who she used to be, no longer being able to trust men and will tear all her relationships apart, and you'll get some *** here and there...
omnia mea mecum porto
2007-03-05, 11:32 PM #51
Echoman AND landfish ganging up on me...

:(
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-05, 11:34 PM #52
JediGandalf is wrong. About everything. He fails life. Etc.

o.0
2007-03-05, 11:37 PM #53
Yeah well you're......fat..
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-05, 11:48 PM #54
oh snap
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2007-03-05, 11:50 PM #55
At least I'm not a dirty stinky hippy. Oh. Wait. Dammit.

I have selfpwned.

o.0
2007-03-06, 12:30 AM #56
Originally posted by JediGandalf:
Yeah well you're......fat..


Well, you're JediGandalf.
SnailIracing:n(500tpostshpereline)pants
-----------------------------@%
2007-03-06, 12:53 AM #57
Originally posted by Echoman:
Well, you need a life to know a life lesson.


Well......you're mean.. :colbert:
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2007-03-06, 12:59 AM #58
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Well......you're mean.. :colbert:


You're...repetitive.
Why do the heathens rage behind the firehouse?
2007-03-06, 4:18 AM #59
Originally posted by TheCarpKing:
You're...repetitive. :colbert:

And you're ... unoriginal :colbert:
Ban Jin!
Nobody really needs work when you have awesome. - xhuxus
2007-03-06, 4:54 AM #60
Sounds to me like she's just very comfortable with you as a friend. It probably didn't occur to her that getting in to the same bed to go to sleep would be construed as anything remotely sexual. Seems to me like it's actually a massive statement of trust in you.

My take on the best way forward? Forget about ever being anything other than friends with her, and never mention it again. If "just friends" isn't good enough for you, then just let your friendship drift apart and lose contact with her.
2007-03-06, 6:37 AM #61
Originally posted by stat:
And are you just friends with her because you hope sometime you can get with her? (think about that truthfully) If the answer is yes, then I'd say stop talking to her, and move on.


No. I genuinely enjoyed going out to hang out with her as a friend.

Giraffe: I didn't intend for sleeping in the bed to be sexual. I intended it to be intimate - for lack of a more gentle wording, we spooned on my bed, and she didn't give any indication that she still didn't like me as anything more than a friend.

Maybe I'm silly for being under the impression that friends don't generally spoon, cuddle, or things of that nature. :psyduck:
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2007-03-06, 7:19 AM #62
That's an interesting point, Wolfy. How many of our female members have ever spooned/cuddled/anything-of-that-nature with someone whom you meant to still be friends with the next morning?
omnia mea mecum porto
2007-03-06, 7:37 AM #63
:confused: The INTARWEB filter is in place - are you being sarcastic?
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2007-03-06, 7:37 AM #64
*raises tenative hand*
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2007-03-06, 12:07 PM #65
Originally posted by Roach:
That's an interesting point, Wolfy. How many of our female members have ever spooned/cuddled/anything-of-that-nature with someone whom you meant to still be friends with the next morning?


I don't think it's too out of the ordinary for people to cuddle/spoon if they're just friends. Cuddling doesn't mean you want something more. I think most females like the comforting factor it gives.
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2007-03-06, 12:15 PM #66
:gbk:
free(jin);
tofu sucks
2007-03-06, 12:18 PM #67
Having calmed down a bit, I've written an explanation of what I've felt, why I felt it, etc., etc. and I've asked her to read it. You can read it here if you really want to.

If she thinks I'm weird for it, then she wasn't as good of a friend as I thought. If it worsens our friendship, so be it - I don't really see how keeping it bottled up would have done our friendship any good. Hopefully, it'll open a dialogue, and we can continue being friends. If not, :/, oh, well.
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2007-03-06, 12:33 PM #68
Originally posted by quesadilla_red:
I don't think it's too out of the ordinary for people to cuddle/spoon if they're just friends. Cuddling doesn't mean you want something more. I think most females like the comforting factor it gives.


Probably not for girls, but last I checked, guys do not cuddle with each other. :v:
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2007-03-06, 12:46 PM #69
Originally posted by Gebohq:
Probably not for girls, but last I checked, guys do not cuddle with each other. :v:

Unless they caught THE GAY.
Code to the left of him, code to the right of him, code in front of him compil'd and thundered. Programm'd at with shot and $SHELL. Boldly he typed and well. Into the jaws of C. Into the mouth of PERL. Debug'd the 0x258.
2007-03-06, 12:46 PM #70
I know some that do!
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2007-03-06, 1:17 PM #71
Same here...but more often than not, those guys are gay. >_>
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
2007-03-06, 1:24 PM #72
I cuddle with my man friends...
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2007-03-06, 1:29 PM #73
:gonk: Then you, sir, are no longer my friend!
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2007-03-06, 1:32 PM #74
...I don't think I could ever cuddle another male. Friend or not.

Thats just... :downswords:
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2007-03-06, 1:37 PM #75
Originally posted by sugarless5:
*raises tenative hand*


Tease.


Not cool.

Originally posted by JediKirby:
I cuddle with my man friends...


Also not cool.

Cuddling and spooning and the like are means to an end. Just the means to an ending. A 'happy ending'. And then a nap.
2007-03-06, 3:20 PM #76
Quote:
the only people I've spoken to about this have been friends of mine that you will never encounter.


Are we really friends? :v:
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2007-03-06, 4:13 PM #77
I've been trying to count, I believe this happened to me with a total of three different girls when I was in high school.

Originally posted by quesadilla_red:
To defend the girls out there: guys do this as well.

Yeah, I also did it to one girl while I was in high school. I had intended to ask her out, so we got close and everything, and then I found out this other girl liked me, so I pulled a 180 on the first girl and gave her the whole friend thing. The end result was that the girl I ditched the first girl for ended up liking someone else better, so I got ditched and ended up with nobody. Leading on and ditching the first girl is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life, and I still feel horrible about it (this was like five years ago).

As for you Wolfy, all I can really say is time heals all wounds. I graduated high school in 2004, so I rarely if ever see any of these people I've been talking about anymore, but we still talk on MSN and such. I had a class in my first year of University with one of the girls that I liked but only liked me as a friend, and the girl that I ditched, and we all sat together and got along well. These kinds of things tend to just kind of fade away as everyone involved moves on. I know, it sounds impossible right now. If it'll make you feel better I can dig up some chat logs from a couple of the times I was crushed by getting close then getting friended ;).

P.S. My current girlfriend I guess I finally got it right, after screwing things up with all the previous girls I mentioned. We met, hung out a lot for like a week or two, and I quickly asked her out before the whole "friend" thing set in. Our 3 year anniversary is in June.
2007-03-06, 4:41 PM #78
Originally posted by stat:
Trying to turn a friendship into a romantic thing is generally next to impossible, and usually doesn't happen. Hell, I'd say 99 out of 100 times it isn't even worth the effort.


I'd say the more desperately you try to make that happen, the less likely it will be. Doesn't mean it never happens though. I've been in a situation where after four years of friendship where for whatever reason a mutual romantic spark occured between the two of us. *shrug* So hey, you never know. But again, don't actively try to make it occur, it almost invariably has the opposite effect.
Seishun da!
2007-03-06, 5:02 PM #79
I didn't force anything. If a girl lets you dance with her, with your arms wrapped around her waist, while you whisper sweet things into her ear, I'm supposed to think, "Oh, she must want to be only friends?"
the idiot is the person who follows the idiot and your not following me your insulting me your following the path of a idiot so that makes you the idiot - LC Tusken
2007-03-06, 6:08 PM #80
Originally posted by Wolfy:
:confused: The INTARWEB filter is in place - are you being sarcastic?

Not sarcastic, I was letting the next two posts show that women are odd when it comes to spooning.
omnia mea mecum porto
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