So yeah... I've got myself quite the predicament that I really don't know how to handle, about a girl.

So, This really cute girl started work a few weeks back and instantly all the guys are going for her attention, I've got the unique closeness since I work in the same unit as her recently and I'm able to spend time with her, but heres where it starts to suck as well.

She liked me, from the start, I knew this, but I never acted on it because, well. Thats how I am with girls sometimes, I don't know if they like me for sure and I don't want to be rejected so I wait until I know for sure that it's right for me and by then it's too late.

So, she lives about a half hour walk from work and we work the night shift most of the time, since my cars out of commission we often waited for rides from the managers and we talked alot, and got kinda close, BUT a fellow co-worker and dare I say it... Friend lives not far from her. (I live 45 min walk away in the totaly oposite direction) so they started walking home together at night when rides were not availble or when they didn't want to stay around and wait.

SOOOO, this is where it sucks, because they work together almost as much as me she's started to develop a thing for him as well, I know for a fact that they've spent alot of time together, their walks from work start at 1am and they hang out in the park for a few hours before actually going home, and she spent the night at his place watching movies, I've done my homework and nothing else seems to have happened, perhaps innocent enough, maybe.

So here's where it gets complicated. She may still like me, but she's seeing alot more of him and I don't honestly know what could happens, a couple managers who really stuck their noses in where they don't belong have been trying to get me to ask her out and stuff and quite honestly they don't want to see her with him, they think her and me would be better for each other.

here's the situation as it is now.

He's a few years younger then her, he's still in school so they can't really hang out much while he's at school, so they have days off, work and their walks home and late night TV watching to hang out with, he does not drive and he's not 18 yet so he can't get into bars.

I drive, so I'm able to go places that buses and walking can't (when I have a car :() I'm 20 so I'm able to get into the bars, I'm free during the days for doing stuff as well as working with her etc etc. I mean... I guess I seem like the better match.

Have I waited to long? I knew he was a threat before, but This guy hits on anything that's pretty and will talk to him, it's kinda creepy, but She's new to town, she does not have alot of friends from here and I think she's just willing to go with who ever showed her interest.

I honestly don't know what to do, I could pull her aside and talk to her, but it could also be too late, they might be to far into a relationship to take a backseat while I move in. I KNOW she was attracted to me at one point and I still flirt, but don't act on it.

GAH, I honestly don't know why this is so damn hard, I talked to her on at work today, asked how her night was, she said she didn't get home until late in the afternoon, When I asked why she said that she was over at someone's house watching a movie, when I asked who she said, "a friend"... So does she actually see him as a friend, a person that she can talk to alot, or does she actually see him as more, and knows that I like her and does not want to hurt me?

wow this was a long thread... my roommates not home so I can't vent to him... suggestions massassi!

Ask her out. Stop being such a coward.

Ask her out? Or to do things not during work?

Quite the situation. I was hoping for something more dramatic. It just seems like you need to take a chance and talk to her. It's possible she just confides in this other guy because he's around, and, as you said, shes new in town.

It's also possible she might be attracted to him or whatnot, but if he really hits on anything pretty, you know, if he's that kind of person I'm sure her common sense will kick in and she'll just keep things friendly.

With the whole telling you shes just with a friend, it's probably so you wont get jealous. keep things fun, give her a reason to keep liking you and don't get emotional about it at all. Don't come off as an ******* while trying to be friendly, and just take a chance. I mean, not like you'll have the time to do that if she starts going out with the other guy, right?

To do things not during work. He goes up to the girl and says "Hey you want to go see a movie some time?" Of course this mode of approach is completely customisable, so he should be creative.

I honestly don't see what the problem is here. If she's not in a serious relationship with this other guy the only thing stopping him is that he's a wuss. You don't need to be best friends with a girl before you ask her out. You already know her from working with her. And remember, first dates are interviews - if she's interested, you're all set. If not, well then you got to go out with a pretty girl anyway. Unless she declines the first date, then you can write a blog about it or something.

Movies are bad first dates... especially in the place we work :D... But still, my real concern is, is it to late, is she already to far into being him to go on elsewhere....

I mean, I work with her tommorw night, but I think he does as well sooo, yeah. I donno, maybe I should just straight up tell her I like her and then ask her to go somewhere, I mean. He's still got school so they can't go places during the day, I'm free during the day so I can go places, I've also got the means to go places, and I know she wants to see the city, I've got a slight advantage over him there.

I don't think you even have to tell her you like her. That sounds a bit childish anyway. Just ask her out to do something. Play minigolf!

(Note: I am not known for good relationship advice)

If she's hanging out with the other guy at his place, then you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell. If you had one from the start, you blew it by second guessing yourself and you'll not likely see one again. Next time, grow a pair of nuts and ask a girl out when things seem to first click. I've been in several relationships, and I can only name one where I waited too long and got another chance (there was a second one, but she was nuts so I don't count her).

Just ask her out already! If she says no you'll be better off for it, hanging out with someone you have feelings for when they dont return them is horrendous. If she says yes well then bonus.

She told you that she was hanging out with 'a friend' because:
A) She values you as a friend, knows you like her, and doesnt want to hurt your feelings by telling you that she's seeing someone else, or
B) She is just hanging out with a friend and is trying to downplay the situation so as to not scare you off.

Either way just ask her the bloody hell out already and find out.

Exactly. You don't need to tell her you like her. I mean the fact that you would be asking her out in the first place would indicate you like her.
And minigolf is awesome for first dates.

take it from me: WRONG

But it's minigolf!

Ask her out, if you don't want to, don't. Don't leave her in this limbo, chicks do no find this attractive.

Stalk her.

My second date was minigolf. It owned. I concur with everyone (Except Strike).

well to begin with, i dont really like minigolf. to me, minigolf is really just the putting part of real golf; and i hate putting. i like to whack the ball with a 1 wood and see how far i can launch it. although the puzzle-like nature of minigolf makes it at least halfway decently fun

other than the aforementioned putting comparison, i dont dislike minigolf, and its less generic than seeing a movie. come to think of it, the movie date didnt work out so hot for me either (even though the movie date girl was super cute; cant say the same about minigolf one).

screw it, im going to program a girlfriend. this 'reality' thing isn't convenient enough.

H4X IRL FTW, kthx

the last time someone tried to program a girlfriend was about the same time as Thrawn appeared...

Kill all the competition. KILL THEM WITH FIRE.

(Or, alternatively, if you're a wuss about killing people, you cold just go up to her, and say, word for word, "Hey, can I take you to dinner some time?")

You're not the only one with 'girl' troubles as happen to really like some young woman, who is a redhead (but has dyed it brown) and ticks most of my boxes. Problem is shes cuts my hair and has already said 'You can't meet up with me as you are my client'. That sucks - but she does like me, and always gives me the kind of wink (thats more than just being nice), and we seem to talk, talk and talk when I have my haircut appiontment. But Im going to find a way around it, and try to woo her again, but I'll try, Somehow ).

As for your situation - perhaps just ask her out, but meet up with her outside work and do it then.

'God knows I'll regret saying that I like someone casue thats when the lightning strikes me. I just cannot control my affliction for a relationship - oh and no this time im not lying'
Said that a year ago.

Step up to the plate and ask her out.

Yeah, come on, take a swing.

Maybe you'll score. And if you strike out, what have you lost?

Well, apart from a bit of dignity and awkwardness.

Or, cower and make your strike zone really small so she throws four balls and you get to walk to first.

melodraaaaaaaaaaama

Any date that promotes conversation is at least a decent first date.

Also, taking dating advice from you would lead to

So Basically your perfect first date is driving golf balls into a maze?

HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! The not knowing thing sucks!

Putting is where the champions and losers are made. See: 2006 U.S. Open Phil Mickelson.

*notes down minigolf as a date option*

The best first date I ever went on was to a free airshow. Chicks dig clever, unique ideas, and guys dig things that are free. Win-win.

^
True story.



If you strike out, it just gives you more experience for the next time.

omg dont talk to her, never make the effort.

Then in 60 years time when you die, you can think to yourself-

"well, i never had a gf or a wife, and now I die alone... but at least i never embarrassed myself taking the risk of asking someone out"

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

think of the fact that you're losing to a 17 (16) year old.
dun dun dun dun...

Sounds like it's an excuse not to date you (you know, what girls do - say something nice like "omg, i like u but... youre my friendd kthx" when it'd be much more helpful for both of you WAY MORE if she'd just say that she's not interested (as opposed to giving you false hope). What, if you do get together and then suddenly break up and she'll be all pissed she's afraid she'll slit your throat when she's shaving you or something? But either way, if she does speak the truth (which I kind of doubt), there's one simple way out - find a different barber and stop being her client. Everybody wins.

Just ask her to do something out of work and see what she says. If she says yes then go and have some fun, enjoy her company. Chances are if you get on well with her 1 on 1 then she's getting on well with you too. Its not too late at all, if it is, she may politely decline but oh well, at least you tried.

shes had sex with him, if you cant see that you need practice

blood asp got it right

WELL MAYBE I'LL JUST DO THAT THEN

And that's the problem right there. Even the "mac daddies" get rejected. The difference between you and them is they don't take it personally and move on quickly.

Until you grow a spine, this little episode will be the story of your life.


Creepy? It's called not putting all your eggs into one basket.

And she could very well think "Well, he flirts with me and is nice to me, but he hasn't made a move so I guess he's not really interested." Of course, I suppose she is right. If you were interested enough, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

You're making a big deal out of this one girl. Guess what? She's not a big deal, so stop treating the situation as if it were.

Horrible wording. In that way, you're making the event the highlight. You need to make yourself the highlight. Something more like "Would you like to go to dinner with me?" is better. With the first question you are also making it a plea. You don't want that, you want to invite her.

Um...stop being her client then call her on it?

Just do it...

</nike>

And who cares if she likes this other guy now - be friendly anyway. You already said she doesn't know many people in the area, right?

If you like her and think you can stay together until after you or she leaves the job, go for it.

Dating coworkers and breaking up with them while they're still your coworkers can lead to awkwardness. Not always, but if you think the risk is there, sometimes it's better to just let it go.

That's a pretty foul thing to do.

Stand on your work desk and ask her out in front of everyone.
Demand you boss for a bigger pay while you're at it.

Carpe Diem

Plus if she says no, just remember: many fish in the ocean.