I found this in a discussion on a Facebook group.

The theory of Intelligent Attraction.
"You fall because God wills you to. If he wanted, He could have you fall through the ground, or have you not fall off a cliff. It's all His choice"

Hey, I've said stuff like that since I started mocking people! Copycats!

Wrong! It's Heavy Boots!

Hahahaha! That's amazing.

Oh my god. That just made me want to start cutting.

Scary.

Never underestimate the power of heavy boots.

That was my reaction too.

What the hell!

They should use this question to gauge if people deserve to live or not.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous, but I can understand why people in a philosophy department don't get simple science stuff like that. Doesn't excuse it by any means, but the guy is pretty much right with the "different views" thing.

If stupidity was a crime punishable by death, you wouldn't be here.

Neither would taoichristianists.

fauxtao

Fine, a fauxtaoichristianist.

It's from The Onion, you know.

I didn't know that, thanks.

I'm not seeing how being Taoist equates to stupidity, but, eh.

I guess you just assume anyone who doesn't think just like you is an idiot. That must be why you fail.

Welcome to my signature. This statement literally made me laugh out loud

He's not saying being Taoist equats to stupidity.

However, being Christitaoetcist is.

YOU fail, my friend, YOU fail, because YOu ***-u-me anyone who doesn't think like you is for big government.

It's good thing I don't have any faith in humanity, because this just reaffirms my belief that people are stupid.

Haha, glad someone got some enjoyment out of it. Thanks, don't know if I've ever been sig'd before.

Yeah, here's the article. Different "theory" title, but same difference:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

Apparently though, it was around before The Onion added to the fun:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligent_falling

You are clearly not capable of bringing an open mind to this discussion. All you seem to care about is attacking my faith.

You're not my friend, and who said anything about big government?

Attacking your faith, or attacking your misunderstanding of an eastern faith that sounds cool to a Christian kid because it makes up for the gigantic fallacies in his own?

Win

Pft, you're just so close-minded Kirbs.

That heavy boots thing makes me what to cry...

haha


EDIT: Roach I don't think kirby's lacking mental state has anything to do with his height and I resent the fact that you edited such an insinuation into my post

I wasn't trying to attack christianity. He clearly stated that was why he's a taoist AND a christian.

No I didn't?

But I'm going to walk away now. I understand why you can't.

Interestingly enough, that sort of smug comment is extremely stereotypical of people like you. There's so many of you, but your smugness indicates that you somehow secretly think that you're unique and enlightened, though you'd never admit it.

I guess everyone has to convince themselves that they're superior. Some do a better job of it that others. Try as I might I always end up doing it too. I suppose it's just human nature.

"Your religious ideas are stupid."
"No they're not! You're closed-minded! At least I can walk!"

Massassi is fun.

....or is it?

I totally hope you meant the funny in that.

You dudes are some silly mens.

I suppose I was just hoping for more creative adjectives from you...

Oh, right...

Cus, you know, you walk the higher path, brilliantly lit by morals and virtues which you so studiously, piously extracted from The Dictionary.com definition of taoism and the teachings of Christ as found in The Brick Testament.

It's saintlike, really, pointing out that Kirby and I are so weak in our humanist views on life. It's so commendable that you can understand our plight, what with being fallen and unsaved and all that. Thanks for opening our eyes, plucking the mite from our eyes* and showing us that we are weak, and unable to be "the better man" and walk away from a fight.

Just like in the Sermon on the Mount in Luke 6, when Jesus said to those who were listening;



"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:27-31. NIV)

Good on you, congratulations, you have learned to turn the other cheek. To walk away from insult and scorn without somuch as condemning a man as your foe, nor making a snide comment...

Oh ****, nevermind.

I'm not attacking your religion, friend (oh wait, I'm not your friend, I feel so rejected, how Christlike of you) what I am doing is pointing out that you look like an idiot when you present views drawn from two religions which are not neccesarily entirely compatible. Not only that, but you misrepresent the two religions repeatedly. People have pointed this out to you in nice ways before. Maybe someday all the poking and prodding you get on this subject will cause you to really look into things.

*=if you know what scripture that is from, and what I am suggesting I give you a cookie.

I like making fun of jm for being a pseudotaoist too but I don't want him to stop. Every community needs at least one nutbar trend-following new ager pseudoreligious wannabe and without him we'd have to resort to posting about how Gerald Gardner was a philistine.

Sooth. That could lead to some serious conversations about heavy boots. :downs: