Absolute filth. Anyone who justifies cheating with that excuse is completely full of it. It doesn't matter if you're lonely - you've got your hands to hang out with. If you care about someone that much then the last thing you would do is go have sex with someone else. I'm not saying that there's no room for friends, there certainly is. If you're in a monogamous relationship there is a massive line between friend and sex buddy.

There's a difference between forgiving someone and trusting someone even though you know they can't be trusted. Besides, you are sleeping with her before you're married. You don't care about God, your just trying to justify getting back together with her even though you know she will cheat on you again. Stop being delusional. It's not worth it. Everyone's just going to laugh next time because we all saw it coming a mile away.

You are so naive.

antony doesnt care about god

George Bush doesn't care about black people.

My mother bought me a red sweatshirt once.

You seem to be suffering under the delusion that you "know all about 'religion'".

The squabbling ability of members of this community never ceases to amaze me.

You seem to be suffering from the delusion that Fister is a bad person for shagging his girlfriend. While there are numerous characteristics exhibited by Fister that make his persona questionable, shagging one's girlfriend is not one of them.


Also, I thought that whole "omg you had sex before marriage that's bad" thing went out of style like 10 years ago. Anyone that doesn't shag before marriage is setting themselves up for some major problems later.

yeah but god also doesnt believe in divorce.

isnt the whole point of the bible that you have a life of toil and misery before going to the heven

You know them conservatives, always up with the things that went out of style years ago. Duh.

Let's review my logic shall we?

I assert that his only reason for bringing up God is to justify getting back with someone he knows will cheat on him again. I support this conclusion by pointing out that if he actually cared about God in the first place, he would act more consistently with the Christian teachings that he claims to support, instead of just using one little fact of them in this one situation.



That recently?

Besides the issue wouldn't be "Fister is a bad person for shagging his girlfriend". That would be mistaking cause for effect. If he's not a Christian, why the heck should I expect him to act like one?

Vaguely directed at Obi:

Were Fister and this lady acting as ideal Christians, they never would have gotten into this situation to begin with. It could also be argued, though, that were they acting as ideal Christians, they may never have started to go out in the first place.

We can suppose that acting as ideal Christians is not the aim of either party involved, so the "rule set" of Christianity can be descriptive, but fails to be effectively normative.

As a Christian, I could give Fister little advice but to seek God's forgiveness for a life of wantonness and profligacy and that he probably deserved infidelity for associating with someone who did not value the act of human intercourse as a sacred union to be saved for marriage. But I will not do this.

As a member of a pluralistic, religion-neutral society, however, I can still offer him advice unclouded by the emotions he's no doubt experiencing that will help him achieve his priorities/objectives. Instead of normatively pushing a viewpoint radically different than his own on him (which he would most likely reject), I can nevertheless offer him courses of action that I see best to fulfill his priorities removed from both my motives and his.

Your religion should empower you and be an asset, not a haze that clouds your perception and therefore (in my opinion) a weakness.

(EDIT: However, as I read more about what's going on, this is less a critique of what you actually said and more a critique of the caricaturization other forum-members are imposing on you, a "hypothetical Obi" more fundamental or misguided than yourself; above all, it's not my aim to offend in this case)

For Fister:

As I see it, Fister, this girl cheated on you for truly base reasons. If you want her for validation, companionship, physical gratification, and a higher sense of self, you should devalue her and cause her to come back to you and want to "make it up."

If you want her for her, out of love, then that love has been betrayed and, for the protection of your emotional stability, you should sever as many ties as possible, harden your heart, and move forward, not looking back.

More like the squabbling ability of the internet.

82nd_Fister, in my opinion you should not stay for any more lies. Leave her to live her life in whatever ****ed up way she sees fit, and don't look back.

Oh, you'll get past that. Maybe.

It's going on 8 years now...

Really?

Sorry to hear about that Fister. I'm not going to tell you to just dump her, but I'm going to say that this thing will always be on the back of your mind if you stay with her. And when you two get into fights, you'll bring it up, because that's the kind of stupid that people do to each other when they're angry. Then you have more problems, and eventually things start to fall apart and you'll wish you had moved on.

Anyway, good luck.

Are you amazed when the sun comes up every morning?

haha, that's what I thought.

obi sounds like hes learning how to debate for the first time, and lord grismath could be a little more concise.

People **** up and make mistakes. People deserve a second chance and people can change. I don't really worry much about Jesus anymore but I think that was his whole thing (after he got through that nasty stage of being a disembodied two year old and slaughtering people in the old testament) and you have the right idea. People are human, we are weak, and we do the wrong thing more often than not. Forgiveness is essential for life.

She'll probably cheat on you again though.

I'm going to suggest you do what you said in Antony's thread.



And then I think you should look at this post.

And I'm going to leave that one with a large question mark.

Except I'm not trying to debate. I simply made a point that 82 was deluding himself, and Bill decides that this is the time to make some obtuse point about "religion" and/or his assumptions about my beliefs. There's no point in putting any sort of real effort to responding to that kind of thing. I'm not even trying to debate, I'm simply trying to point out that he's not really quite grasping the point of my original assertion. Either way, it's probably a futile endeavor that I should have just let alone.

I think you've got it, Obi.

And ragna, thanks for the advice. From now on, I'll be sure to cut down on my verbiage for you. I'll say everything in short sentences and small words, too, just to help you understand. :downs:

I'd like to take this time to say that my religion does not teach what Bill claimed.

If a religion taught what Bill claimed it did, it would be such an astonishing coincidence that would make a sudden drop in the total entropy of the universe seem likely by comparison.

Or is she? Monogamy isn't some kind of genetic imprint, you know.

sexual dimorphism is an indicator of polygamous mating behavior.

Edit: Gah, Jon`C you beat me to it.

True. Human males are on average about 10% larger than females. This size difference is called "sexual dimorphism", and is most commonly and most obviously seen in animals that make a habit of polygamy. In fact, 90% of all mammals are polygynous (one male mating with multiple females). This could certainly lead some to conclude that humans are not genetically inclined to monogamy.

Humans act on more than instinct. We have both self control and foresight (though of course not all of us choose to exercise these abilities).

Maybe it is just a quirk of mine, but if I care enough about a young lady to enter into a consensually monogamous relationship with her, then I'd expect that she would care enough about me not to screw some other guy. If she wants to screw someone else, then she should have the courtesy to break up with me first.

Not if she thinks she get get away with it without you finding out and have sex with both of you. We teach people to value diversity.

you're welcome. i never said i couldn't understand it, just that it was convoluted.

actually it pretty much says in the bible if your wife is unfaithful then you can "give her a certificate of divorce and send her away"

but that isnt really relevant... so never mind

I think it would be pretty stupid not to dump her.