I had been harboring the worry of testicular cancer for quite some time. I finally gathered the courage to see a doctor today concerning this. I'd put it off for long, even managed to forget that worry for a long time. Now I feared that had been a mistake.

I had been showing symptoms for a while but I was too scared. Death scares me ****less.

The good news is that there is no cancer. The doctor is not worried that the lump present is cancerous. Rather than come off of the testicle, it is part of the epidirmys. The doctor believes that it was violent twisting of said part, the folding or an infection that might have caused this.

What she is worried about now, is my fertility.

My plans for life have always been simple, I wanted to find a woman I loved, be with her and through her spawn a family with possibly two children.

I have learned that this may now be impossible.

I will say this: What is left, when the one goal you had in life now seems out of reach? I never wanted something fancy. Just wanted to be happy.

I guess its all in fate's hands now.

(PS. The Jepstick still works perfectly.)

So liek, i totally fixed the thread's title. lawl.

I hate to be all "look on the bright side" here, but:


This is very important. And you did dodge ball cancer.

No Jepbabies?

So, did you bang the nurse/doctor that was totally checking out the Jepackage?

But you still got one left, right? You'll be cool man, don't worry about it.

Well there are ways of getting your men out of there and into her besides the traditional manner.
My pastor had to go that route and now they have twins who will soon turn 3.
Unless of course the problem is that the men aren't there.
Just remember that all it takes is one, and there are lots of options.

Well, the doctor's worry is that if it is an infection, it may spread to the other. And the ****ty medicine system we got, the doctor will not be able to see me for an exam/treatment for about 4 months.

I was arrogant, going in telling myself I'd come out of there with only good news.

Bleck.

cant you go to some sort of clinic and get some mandribble put in deep freeze just in case?

Yes, deep freeze your special-mens.

I knew a guy who only had one nut. He kept having kids. It's like, the second you realize you don't have as much ammunition to blow, your accuracy goes up. And if it spreads.

you can always adopt and teach those children the ways of Jepism. The legacy must prevail!

Pretty unoriginal, it's been done countless times before. Look on the bright side, now you can do something amazing with your life without being held back... like cure aids, or reach a state of spiritual transcendence and enlightenment, or eat tacos with ice cream, the possibilities are endless.

O_____o

I didn't think freezing my seamen was even possible. Damn, all aboard matey!



No.

4 months???? I can't believe they want to nationalize health care here

Maybe you should come down to USA and get some damn antibiotics or something? Seriously, if it's important to you, get it done.

I have a feeling that may be something you have to pay for. and probably quite alot.

Sorry you're going through this, Jeppers. I've recently had to go through the whole lump thing (not on a testicle though, obviously!) and it ain't that fun. But you don't have the results yet, so don't get carried away. And as said by others, there are plenty of options for artificial insemination, even if it turns out you can't have babies the more conventional way.

You guys are right.

OPTIONS!

+1


There are still many options, your life is neither over nor ruined. As long as you're not shooting blanks, you can still have the fam you want.

oh, and one national health system is not the same as any other. The NHS (in britland, for those who may not know) is constantly getting crapped all over in the press and *****ed about by everyone, but I've gone from first appointment to surgery in less than 4 months. considering my treatment path has been slow because I'm considered low risk, I think that's pretty good.

Violent twisting? Yeesh.

Get better.

Yeah, I think it's about $1K(US) for 5 year storage on non-hazardous (no STIs) samples. If your swimmers are worth that much to you...

you could just pump up a *** dumpster right this minute and demand she pop one out in 11 days or however long a babby takes

So... when are you starting your company and hiring me as graphic designer? That or I need to find a woman willing to marry me for my green card. Say... Free, is your mom free? (:P)

I'm so sorry, Jeppers, but I'm thrilled that it isn't cancer!

by the way. All the cool kids are adopted. No lie. (:D)

ps - weren't we supposed to get married?!

(The canadian health care system is broken. The UK does a fine job, as Miss Box said.)

That's the pits. Keep us updated! We want to photoshop whale heads on your baby!

Adopt. There's lots of babies nobody wants. And I guess you'd be slightly better than a garbage disposal.

I thought you didn't want me anymore, I try to talk to you on AIM and you don't talk balk! *WAILS LIKE A BABY*



Ouch...

I MEAN IT WITH LOVE!

Well at least you're not going to the death place right now.

As for the hopes and dreams thing. It's times like these when men need to go walkabout.

Psh, whatever, if it's like me, you always log off just as I'm trying to talk to you anyway. And I helped pay for your honeymoon with her!

But yeah, while there's certainly potential suckiness here, I have to say I'm glad you don't have cancer either.

Guess the reference..

You could go the more conventional route and knock up a random drunk chick at the bar, and finally meet your long lost child 20 years later.

Why not? No, seriously, why not adopt? I can understand wanting to raise an infant, so adopt an infant. It doesn't have to be some punk eight year old like those stupid Disney movies.

Pfft. Our border is a sieve. Come through anywhere you want. You don't need a green card for health care either - money talks in the US!

Ahaha Venture Brothers.

Great show, and a particularly great episode.

God, now about wish #2. The Ferrari can be red, yellow or black. I'm not picky.

Considering the kind of women you seem to attract, I'd say there's a pretty damn good chance of any kid you have being another man's so you might as well go for the option that'll let you know for sure.

Hope this helps.

Hey, you guys are going about this all the wrong way.

What this means, Jep, is that you can sleep with oodles of girls, and not have to worry about whether or not you're gonna leave a bun in the oven.

this==good thing.
(still wear a condom though, cuz of STD's)

I CAN PRINT IT AND MAKE MYSELF A BADGE!

I think kids are the worst thing imaginable and my low sperm count is something im glad to encourage with unhealthy habits and tight underwear.

But for some strange reason there are those who like the people-maggots.

I say adopt, if you dont like the idea... maybe you should go to an orphanage or foster home, or whatever they call them nowadays, and look around at the various larvae available. From what i hear, many adoptees dont seem interested untill they run into a little worm they like.

Maybe if you take a look, youll see one that you like and youll think differently. Or maybe youll find one with a healthy pair of balls, and theyll let you purchase part of the creature for a lower price.

Like they said. Options.

Ps:, Glad its not cancer.

Not to sound crude, but can't they always take your sperms and implant them in your womans vagoo if you can't do it the all natural american way of repeated penetration?