Seconded. It's easily the worst movie I've seen in at least the last five years.

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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1, 2 & 3 | Gonk WoW Petition <- SIGN!
Corrupting the kiddies since '97

oh come on it wasn't that bad

"bite me!"
"certainly"
<alien proceeds to literraly eat the guy>

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---Thomas jefferson, Declaration of Independance.

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SpriteMod (JO 2003)

[This message has been edited by G-Man (edited August 08, 2004).]

So my sister intentionally bought a crapload of horrendously bad Hong-Kong ninja movies on DVD from the 80's.

Among the worst was the Ninja Squad

I'll just let these screencaps and a user comment do the talking.

Note the hilarious "ninja" headbands.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find any screencaps of the bad drug-trafficing plotline that has absolutely nothing to do with the other plot and where everyone shoots each other with the same blank-loaded assaultrifles (I think they could only afford two M16's and a Sterling SMG, leading to the "clever" disguising of the fact by having no-more than two combatants on the screen at a time).

Indeed. The soundtrack is half-crappy 80's synth-pop, and then it rips tracks out of Raiders of the Lost Ark (the spooky ark theme), and Das Boot

Another we've watched was Leopard Fist Ninja (yes, they all latch Ninja to the end of the title, eventhough this one never mentions the word ninja, and is Kung-fu dominated)

I'll let my sister's screencaps do the talking:
Big bad-guy. Japanese, of course (all the villains in these types of movies come in flavours of evil-caucasian and oppressive-japanese-manchurian).

Notice how everyone always gets cut out of frame. The cinematographer should shoot himself. They also either frequently forgot to edit out the camera rolling up sequence or forgot to pre-roll the camera (leaving the frames of the first second of every new scene fuzzy, blurry and phosphorous as the film gets over-exposed and doesn't roll at 24fps yet).

The fight-scenes were better than those of the Ninja Squad. However, these were just bland and seemed to occur every 10 minutes in an attempt to break up the monotony.

The compulsory whiskery ancient-master chap.
It doesn't help that the production values are so poor that for a scene where a house was supposed to be burned down, it was hilariously obvious that it was a concrete shell with hay wrapped across the roof and a cardboard-board wonkily spray-painted in an attempt to look like rice-paper windows. These movies all have the same "Swish-swish-thump-thump" sound-boards too. eesh.

The good thing about these movies is that you can stay up late and pull your own MST3K commentary and you gain a LOT of respect for mediocre hollywood movies. The bad part is, you waste 90 minutes of your life, that YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK, and those 90 minutes feel longer than Magnolia or the interminable ending of ROTK.

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Worth a million in prizes, baby.

[This message has been edited by Daeron the Nerfherder (edited August 08, 2004).]

Lord of the Rings or Tomb Raider.

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Fire Pretty - Graz's Armoury - (That's my blog...)

The Soviet Bunker - (That's my forum...)

"Thou shalt not steal. (Because the government doesn't like competition!)"

I made the ultimate mistake of watching this movie in a theater... I have never walked out of a movie theater in the middle of the movie, but it was close with this crap...

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Frozen by ICARUS

I've never walked on a movie, but I came really really really close with Sphere. My brother stopped me. Hands down stupidest ending ever.

[This message has been edited by Jaiph (edited August 08, 2004).]

In an alternate universe, all of these are the best movies ever. Scary.

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"This hole is octogo. Ogiganeel. It's Octa.. It's got eight sides."
"Sam and Max Hit the Road-sign. The one saying 'Stop'."

The Avengers.

Because it's an incoherent mess of a film.

Heh. Ninja Squad looks sexy!

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)

---------@%

The Massassi JO/JA Single Player contest info (or something of this matter. Just smile.)

I would put Plan Nine from Outer Space, but it was actually enjoyable (due to the fact that I was laughing almost constantly throughout the entire thing). The most painful movie I've watched recently was Charlie's Angels 2. I could only manage about half an hour through it before my brain was crying out "Make it stop!" The entire thing was filmed as if it was a commercial for itself. Not pretty.

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"May your gravity well be shallow, and your deBroglie wavelength short."

Hobgobblins.

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Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.

Hellboy


Everyone seemed the like it, but I thought it was terrible. The main idea of the plot was retarded; it jumped into the story way to quickly, the action Sequences became repetitive and boring fast, and its attempts at witty superhero comments were pathetic (minus a few).

I wasn't even close to walking out, but when I left, I regret spending money on it.


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Kill Your Idols!

Didn't any of you see Barb Wire with Pamela Anderson?! I watched it as I was going through puberty and it STILL made me actually fall asleep! I coudn't even sit through it waiting for boobies! It was plain terrible.

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If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.

Can't remember.

I saw 13 Ghosts last night, that movie sucked a lunacy amount.

Cube 2 was awful also.

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Drugs & Stupidity, Tons of it.

Manos: Hands of Fate as pretty bad, but if you are looking for a movie that will just destroy your brain while watching it... "SCARECROW: SLAYER".. this had to be the worst movie EVER.. WORSE than Manos.. Worse than The Forbidden Zone.. it's acting and effects are horrible to un imaginable extents.... my brother threw up while we were watching this movie.. and he wasn't even sick.

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forgot to add this horrendous pile of crap to the list.

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Drugs & Stupidity, Tons of it.

Troy.
Casablanca.
Rear Window (hell, anything by Alfred Hitchcock).

I saw a copy sitting in the video rental store...looked really stupid.

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Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged

Banks and banks of humming machinery! I've never seen so many knobs. We're going to have to do something, Charlie! Try pushing that button there. No? How about that one? No, not that one either. I know! I'll try pushing this one. Hold my hat will you? Good fellow.

Fight Club

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In Tribute to Adam Sliger. Rest in Peace

10/7/85 - 12/9/03

wtf

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"Look at me! I'm Tracer! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"

-MBeggar

Ishtar.

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

A race that can develop stealth technology...can't get through a door that looks 50+ years old.

And they looked like Cher in a wet suit.

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"We came, we saw, we conquered, we...woke up!"

Maybe they don't have 50 year old pantry doors on their world.

Seriously, though. So what? Humans have created some pretty cool stuff, but if somebody locked you in a room you'd be stuck, too. I don't get the connection between technological advancements and ability to bust through doors.

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Do you have stairs in your house?