...and more specifically, the reasons why you are unsuccessful in initiation of said relationships.

Poll time!!!!!

http://shauri.hopto.org/polls.pl?id=34

Oh right, the point for this thread. Well, you see, there was this girl that I liked (isn't this how it always starts?). Anyways, I thought maybe there was a possibility that she liked me. So I asked her out to the movies. She said yes, which made me happy. However, she later made it *VERY* clear that we were going as "friends" and not as a "date". Yes, I attempted the dreaded ladder jump, and missed completely. However, we were still, in theory, going to see a movie together. Now I say "in theory" because: 1) I haven't talked to her since last Sunday, 2) I can't seem to get a hold of her, and 3) I heard from a "friend of a friend" that she already "had plans" for tonight, which was, of course, when I had hoped to go. So I guess the whole thing is called off. In any case, I figure I can start over (not with her) when I go off to university in about 3 weeks.

And the worst part of it is, now I don't have an excuse to go see Collateral. Oh well.

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Four dimensions, four fundamental forces... coincidence?

Sorry to hear it, kyle90. I'd like to see Collateral one of these days too, come to think of it.

I was going to see the Bourne Supremacy when I got back from a camp not so long ago with a girl when she flaked out, but I remembered that I didn't like her as much as I thought I did when I asked her.

Just saw Collateral last night. Great movie. Sorry to hear that too.

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ZGPC

Funniest poll questions so far.

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Run: forgetting passwords on a regular basis.

Zing, another burn for Pagewizard.

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"Look at me! I'm Tracer! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"

-MBeggar

i ended a almost 3 year relationship tonight.

it's not that i dont love the guy,i do in the truest sence of the word. it's that there are problems with our relaitonship that i cant sit on for 2 years while were both going to different schools's 1 and a half hours away from eachother.


the beggging? a verry good place to start.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.

Why is it so trendy to slam Page Wizard?

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"I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than loved for who I pretend to be." -Janis Joplin

because many find his advice and views on women offensive.

I put that I'm too shy, 'cuz I am. Have no reason to be as far as I know, though.

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WOOSH|-----@%

And because it's fun.

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For a healty meal, eat mashed potatoes, peas, and catloaf.
Massassi's cuttin' into my free time, man.
Valuable Life Lesson: Frog + Potato Gun = Blindness
Worship Examples - Christians' love for God should be seen and heard, not merely talked about. It is through actions that one is determined to be Christian, not through words. Words (and thoughts, as well) deceive even one's own self, but the heart speaks truth.

I'm asbestos-coated. Burn away.

besides, I only see bashing on this board. Out there in the real world, no one is up in arms attempting to do me in....

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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited August 13, 2004).]

/e-stab.

[This message has been edited by DogSRoOL (edited August 13, 2004).]

he's all talk. thats why

im not sure what i am on that list. it seems to be directed at guys

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[teletubbie voice] BIG HUG!!!! [/teletubbie voice]

One time I asked out this girl, and she turned out to just be a male transvestite. Needless to say, it was a disappointing date on many levels.

What was your reaction...

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ZGPC

Oh man, four, that's no good!

[This message has been edited by Yossarian (edited August 13, 2004).]

[nevermind]

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http://www.jedilegacy.net/gonk/

[This message has been edited by Gonk (edited August 14, 2004).]

Well, I didn't find out until the 5th date. Sigh... I really thought I was falling in love, too.

That hasn't happened to me yet... I'm probably just lucky.

And are you talking about a guy dressed in drag
or a guy that had a sex change? There is a big difference between the two.

Remember, if the woman you are talking to has really manly hands, check for an adams-apple, and then get your eyes checked if you find one.

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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited August 13, 2004).]

No, (s)he was a transvestite. I just wish I would have found out before I got her into bed.

And, I mean... I thought I noticed an adam's apple... but he was just... very, very pretty.

Edit: Haha. Manhands. That's a good episode.

[This message has been edited by fourwood (edited August 13, 2004).]

Okay, you're going about this all wrong. You're trying to appeal to her instead of having her appeal to you. Let me explain further: Don't worry about whether she likes you or not, simply assume she does and just pick up your nuts and go for it. This comes across as confident, which is very good for you. If you go in wondering where you stand with her, you are doing it a$$-end backwards. Ideally, she should be wondering where she stands with you. When you wonder about it and are unsure, this projects insecurity and doubt, which chicks avoid like the plague.

Also, movie dates are cliche, especially for a first date. What were you planning on doing, stretching and then sneaking in the old arm-around-the-shoulder? There's a better way. I like to keep my first dates simple, like coffee, or ice cream when its hot outside and too hot for coffee. The point of a first date is to get some one-on-one time with the chick and build rapport, which develops into attraction if you know wghat you're doing. Going to a theatre and watching pretty moving pictures the whole time doesn't leave much time for interaction, wouldn't you think?


also, i try to keep my dates fun. Stuff like bowling, miniture golf, even taking a walk are good action dates. The important thing and the whole point of the date is to make her happy to SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND HAVE IT BE FUN. That way she comes back wanting more, and you eventually get laid. Everybody wins.


You may be too late for this chick, but the good news is there are plenty of others that you can start with a clean slate, so keep this in mind for next time.



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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

I voted and it seems the successful are wining at the moment

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

Never attempt the dreaded ladder jump unless it's still early in the relationship.

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WAITER: Here’s your green salad, sir.
ANAKIN: What? You fool, I told you NO CROUTONS! Aaaaaaargh!

For the record, this is the INTERNET, everybody is "all talk". Unless you've actually met of course.

For another record, Pagewizard gave some good advice in this thread, of course you'll probably all make fun of him because he said "get laid" which instantly makes him evil and objectify women.

I just met a girl thats 22. I told her i was 18(when im really 17) which is kinda dumb because now we are getting kinda serious and i really need to tell her the truth.

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~~Because Eric does Rock Your World~~

Hmm... that's kind of what I was trying to do. I just "went for it" and asked her out, did I not?



Well... yes, actually...



Sure, but I really wanted to see that movie. And, more importantly, so did she.



Wow... that's a pretty big leap of logic... from a first date directly to getting laid.

I suppose my question really is: HOW are you supposed to ask someone out so that it doesn't come across as being insecure? Because I don't understand how I was being insecure in this case.

Anyways, thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind for next time.

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Four dimensions, four fundamental forces... coincidence?

Note that he did in fact say "eventually get laid", nothing about getting laid directly after the first date.

The way to seem secure when you ask someone out is to make it very clear you don't mean just as friends, don't let her mind go down that path, chances are she'll say no, but at least you'll know one way or the other.

Well I'm with the majority on this one.

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<Outlaw_Torn> you mean your related to that damned sasquatch, Mech?
<MechWarrior> Lets just say the part of the family tree that does fork has bossy the goat in it.

<ubuu> does hitler have a last name?

Well, yes and no. the way you went about it, you left open the possibility of her and you going out as "just friends", which is not what you should be wanting. You were wishy-washy in your approach, and this left open a huge margin of error.

Here's what I use:
After first getting the number, I lay it aside for a week, partly b/c its good practice, and partly b/c i have so much stuff to do. I make my phone call short and to the point-- no small talk (save that for the date) , just set up When, where, and what you will be doing. Also important to remember is that you should say that you will assume that the date is still on no matter what, and oyu will call if something comes up. This is vital b/c if you call before coming over this gives her an opportunity to bail on you and invent some lame-a** excuse. also, don't give her your number at any cost b/c it gives her the ability to cancel stuff. Most of the time, the ball should be in oyur court, not hers.



there are much better things you can do to get hands-on instead of that tired old cliche. My ways work much better, and just a little of it gets her in the right mood. I feel you have enough on your plate with this info at this point, so I'll save those goodies for later. You don't want to take the plunge and learn everything at once, its too complicated for anyone.



so go with your friends. she will probably go with hers.




Here's an approach that I use 99% of the time. It works so wel lfor me I seldom need to use any other.

Suppose you see a chick that is an 8 or 9 to you on a scale of 1-10. You would want to go over there and talk with her, right Good. I'll give you a little walkthrough.

First, bear these things in mind before you go over:

1. if she just showed up, don't dive on her right away. Let her mix and relax a little bit first. this only apples at parties or places like that. in other situations, just go for it.

2. Get yourself psyched up. Believe that you have what it takes to do this, and don't let anything tell you you can't. Don't let the fear of rejection get to you. Convince yourself that you are going to succeed and don't give the idea of failure any credibility.

Now, on to the approach:

Suppose you see a decent-looking chick, and you want to meet her. Only natural, right? So, get yourself together and walk over there. Normal speed, just don't hesitate.

1. Start off by introducing yourself. Make sure you get her name too, and remember it.

2. Make small talk. instead of standing there trying to pull words out of your a**, use the situation around you for conversation ideas. If you're at a party, ask her if she's having a good time. If you're at uni, ask her what her major is and how long she hs been going there, etc. you get the idea. Build the conversation based on what she says. If you ask her how long she's been coming to that uni, and she says 1 year, that gives yo uammo for any number of follow-up questions. CONVERSATION IS AN ART. USE WHATEVER INFO SHE PROVIDES AS RESOURCES FOR FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS. ALSO KEEP MENTAL TABS ON THIS CHICK THE WHOLE TIME SO YOU CAN PICK UP WHERE OY ULEFT OFF ON THE DATE.

tHE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO LEARN AS MUCH ABOUT HER AS POSSIBLE AND REVEAL VERY LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF. yOUR INFO IS FOR YOU TO KNOW AND FOR HER TO Graduallly FIND OUT!

After 5 minutes of small talk, go for the number close. Here's my favourite way of doing so:

*I look at watch*

"I'm sorry, but i have to go meet a friend at _________ right now, and he will be pissed igf he has to wait too long, you know how friends are. (smile)

Listen, i enjoyed meeting and talking with you, and perhaps we can pick this up later. Give me your phone number, and maybe something can be set up."

You're in!!!!!!


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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited August 14, 2004).]

Okay, that sounds realistic for when you want to meet new girls, which I will definitely want to do when i get to university. However, the situation that I am usually in (at least at this point) is that the girl is already my friend, and I am trying to take it to the next level (the ladder-jump). Do you have any advice about how to go about that? Or is it just a bad idea all around?

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Four dimensions, four fundamental forces... coincidence?

It's generally considered that once a girl is a good friend, your chances drastically drop. I've never heard any decent advice for pursuing a relationship in that kind of situation.

some advice is common sense. i have yet to see a picture of page with one of his womens. i dont think he objectifies women, i just find his one sided ego annoying. i say one sided because once again. i see no womens.

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[teletubbie voice] BIG HUG!!!! [/teletubbie voice]

that's fair enough, but to be honest if I was in a relationship (and Page hasn't said he's in a relationship) I would be somewhat hesitant before posting a picture of my partner on the internet.

successful ++;

<3 ++;



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Saberopus: omfq musical genuis j00 >mozart
Thrawn42689: Mozart = n00b

...why does it not surprise me that it works to Page's advantage when women don't know a lot about him?

and



Well, I'm marrying a girl who started out as a really good friend, so it does happen, but generally yeah, it's a bit more difficult. The main problem is deciding whether you feel that you could continue being friends with each other if she rejects you or the relationship falls apart.

Meanwhile, yeah, movie dates suck. No time for talking or anything. And you were going to take a date to COLLATERAL?! Yeah, there's a movie that really brings people together........

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I live in the weak, and the wounded.

[This message has been edited by Darko (edited August 14, 2004).]

Well, I have meet kori-lynn and.. it has been the most amazing three weeks of my life.. I admitt we are moving alittle fast.. Tonight we will uh yeah... not that I can complain or anything, its just that.. I love her so much.. She is someone after the.. 6 failed relationships I have finally found to be who I am truly looking for in a soul mate.. I mean in months time the thought of living together is a issue we will consider..

Want to know how I see on dating and getting into a relationship? First of all knock off the bs image.. be yourself, no one else would like you better if you say who you really are is you.. Even if you seem dull, there is always something new to search in yourself.. Friends, Its better to be friends before getting into a heavy relationship.. I mean me and kori, we hit it off the first day we had met..

Not because of us being friends, damn.. she is my best friend who I feel I known her all my life.. When it has been four weeks already.. How we had met was the internet, I admitt.. Not the best way to do things but hey.. We are the same person looking for the same person.. meaning, we are alike in more ways then one emotionally.. As each day goes by, we find each other more and more.. As our pasts and mental burdens still linger, we are there for each other.. So, dont give up hope.. And the funny part is that she lives up the street from me.. so hey, not bad.. But I mean..

If your gonna go through the same deal.. She says I wanna be friends.. Get yourself use to it.. I got my heart broken 5 times.. the 6th serious relationship, well was just lust.. more then anything..

So yeah, I mean in university.. You will find someone, its not hard to miss someone you find special.. just be yourself and she will find you just the same as you find her.. be dorky, be yourself.. she will really appreciate honestly and openess.. just..

DONT FOR THE LOVE OF JEBUS TAKE MY ADVICE TOOOOOOO FAR! Take baby steps.. Me and kori.. We are suppose to take one step at a time.. But are we? Nope.. But like she said, Sh*t happens.. And im glad it did!

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-- [url="mailto:Jatso_jk1@hotmail.com"]mailto:Jatso_jk1@hotmail.com[/url]Jatso_jk1@hotmail.com</A>--The Bounty Hunters Arc Forum--Firehound Inc.--

kyle90: Why can't you go to Collateral by yourself? Ashamed to be seen alone? Also, about "jumping the ladder": It's possible, but not the best thing to do. The best thing to do is move on. However, the only real option is to stay away from her for awhile and work on yourself, your self-esteem, your confidence, and your attitude. But, none of these seem to be a real problem with you, so you probably aren't going to have any luck with her. Word of advice: If she does flake out on you, let her know that you are annoyed and dissapointed in her.

Lord_Grismath: So, how are things going?

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Debating politics on the internet is about as useful and productive as shoving a broomstick up your *** .

This is a confusing poll, because "All of the Above" is listed below "I am successful," so I can't select it, yet my answer is "all of the above."

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<ubuu> does hitler have a last name?
<jipe> .. yes, Ubuu, we're racist commy nazi jews, and we hate male pattern baldness
<Professor`K> Sorry, but half-way through your logic, my head exploded

Well, the odds are not on your side for that.
Its possible, but don't bet the farm on it. she pretty much blew you off in the situation you described.




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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

Good idea. However I'm sure I can find some friends that will go, if I get off my lazy @$$ and decide to.



Clarification for the poll: when selecting "all of the above", ignore all of the choices that conflict with each other.



Sorry, I meant the general situation I am usually in with different girls at different times. I wasn't speaking directly about this particular one. And I agree. She definitely blew me off, which is why I am attempting to move on.

BTW, to everyone, thanks for the advice. It's handy to have a bunch of people at my disposal to help me ;-)

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Four dimensions, four fundamental forces... coincidence?

I've never gone to the cinema by myself, the thought of doing so always struck me as kind of sad.