Hahaha, The_Lost_One, how far did your parents live? I can't believe they would drive a distance if you didn't answer your phone. How did they know you just weren't out?

Wow. Over protective parents much?

uh she called them prior and went psycho on the phone, my dad told me about it and that i better leave her, etc. and i decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. that's when they called and i didn't pick up, they got worried for my life, which kind of pissed me off when they started screaming and knocking on the doors. then they called the cops and i was like 'seriously, what the ****' so i went down and told them all off.

the next week i left her, after she hid my car keys on me while i was on my way out the door to go to the st patrick's day parade, she called while i was drunk and started going psycho on me so i hung up and got drunk enough to get hospitalized. woke up in my parents' living room, haven't talked to the ***** since.

the funniest part of it is that she's 41 and i'm 25. she was also my first girlfriend.

You must really suck at sucking.

Do ho ho ho.

he was drunk

poor vin. dont hook up with piss drunk guys.

Have you posted that story before? It might be the beer but I'm getting a tremendous sense of déjà vu.

yea i posted it before i think.

Once was doing things in the back seat of my car (the big green car I used to have)... Apparently, she had her cell phone in one of her pant pockets. She ended up laying down on it. I heard a beep, paused and asked about it. She said that its probably nothing, so we continued. Another beep.... then a ring tone. We scrambled around in the back seat, frantically trying to find the phone (it was dark). After a few seconds, we found it. It was speed-dailing her dad.

that why you always get the pants off first

That's why flip phones are better than not flip phones.

One time Jake looked in the window and made me laugh and she saw him and saw me laugh and then she started crying for other reasons and I hate you Jake I lost a BJ.

(Jake reads these forums.)

My parents like to call me over and over again when they want to get ahold of me... When I was with my last girlfriend a few years ago, my parents always managed to call while I was banging her. The first few times it was kinda funny because my ringtone was "You Shook Me All Night Long" by ACDC, but it got old fast. I told my folks to stop repeatedly calling me if they couldn't get ahold of me the first time. My mom said if I was busy to just pick up and say so.

Well, a few days later, me and the woman are having ourselves a afternooner, and my parents call. I ignore it. My parents call again. I ignore it. Again and again and again they call. Finally I pick up and just yell into the phone "I'm ****ing my girlfriend!" and hang up. I called my mom back about 15 minutes later and when she picks up she says "How was it?"

A drunk chick wanted to play funny and bit me on the dick.

She bit too hard.

I have scars.

Jep wins, end of thread.

this reminds me of the scene in the movie Miss March.

I think it is important to come back and note that yes, I still have my penis. Its still alive and kickin'.

And smiling... :/

I was a minute man tonight :(.. I hadn't whacked in a while. Round 2 was mediocre at best.

This is what "silent mode" is for.

Or "vibrate" if you're feeling naughty.

Alls I gotta say is wait until you have kids. My three year old has a tendency to wake up early morning, when me and my wife like to get frisky. Haven't been caught yet, but its only a matter of time.

Anyway, I got a really bad sunburn a few weeks ago, right on the shoulders. So we were going about our "business" when my wife gets a screaming orgasm. So, what does she do to be quiet? What she normally does, bites my shoulders so she doesn't wake the kids. I couldn't finish because of the pain.

That kind of reminds me of one of my first times.

I was 14 or 15 at the time with my first girlfriend. I was living in my parent's basement, and we had yet to build my room. It was early morning and we started with the kissing and fondling, when I suddenly look up at the window to see my father working on a pile of corded wood. I don't think he saw us but my then-girlfriend screamed and well, lets just say it didn't go anywhere that day.

My dad walked by while I was making out with my girlfriend once. Looked at me like "Wtf?" and I said "She's leaving in like five minutes." He proceeded to say "Oh, so that's what that was," and walked on.

Me and my gf were doing it in a car at night. We parked in a commercial area after hours and it was pretty deserted. Then this damn guy walking his dog comes by twice. I was not impressed with his peeping.

oh i should have been more discreet

use Binoculars next time newkid

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}