I just made a cheese zombie and microwaved it just a bit too long. Boiling hot melted American cheese (damn near the consistency of water) poured out when I took my first bite all over my lower lip and some on my tongue and chin. I screamed bloody murder and tried to wipe it off in a panic but all I did was spread the pain and burn my fingers a bit too.

I'm usually pretty good at handling pain but omg that was the worst thing in a real long while. Now it hurts to eat anything at all or even move my mouth around all that much.

BTW for those who are surely going to make comments regarding such, a cheese zombie is some form of dough, usually like a roll, with hot melted American cheese on the inside. They are a delicacy of the public school system cafeterias.

melted cheese burns are the worst when it comes to food related burns...

That stuff is like molten steel.

I burned my palate last week on a pizza pocket; I hate the feeling that stays for a couple days afterwards, and when you get the dead skin coming off in your mouth

I still swear that BBQ sauce has no boiling point. It could cause molten lava to become vapor upon contact if heated enough.

Good news is the flesh and tastebuds on your skin will completely regrow without scarring.

good news everyone

Not too sure about that one, oil burns are pretty brutal.

I think it serves you right for eating American "cheese".

It's vile.

Tee hee.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa... whoa.... whoa. A slice of American on a hamburger is much better than cheddar, swiss, or any other normal cheese IMO. Plus it melts better and isnt oily when you melt it.

Cheeseburgers are also vile.

... American cheese shouldn't be used. Ever. Maybe to your uncultured senses, but try asking a real chef. American cheese isn't cheese.

Nothing beats sharp cheddar on a burger.

We can't all enjoy eating boiled cabbage with raw sheep livers.

whats a cheese zombie?

.

I had a thing in Minneapolis - You make a ground beef hamburger patty, but you put cheese in the middle of the patty.

Then when you cook it, it becomes molten. They serve it to you and tell you NOT TO EAT IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES for five minutes, or else you will bite in and it will depressurize and shoot molten cheese all over your face.

I didn't believe them.

I was dumb.

Hm, when I was in Toronto a couple months ago I had a cheeseburger, but the patty had been stuffed with cheese and jalapeno peppers. I don't know how they got them in there and managed to cook it perfectly, but it was rather delicious.

... it's pretty easy to put things inside burger patties.

I know, it'd be much easier if I liked either of those.

You know what else is absolutely horrible? Blood sausage/blood pudding. This should not be a food.

If we're gonna talk sausage, can't beat a Bockwurst (Not Bratwurst, which is also good).

Bockwurst:

It's called black pudding.

Hot Dogs are awful too. Or at least the ones with whatever ****ty kind of sausage you get from streetmeat vans/cafes/swimming pool cafeterias.

Frankfurters?

If you don't simmer down my friend you just might find a cruise missile knocking on your door.

Well, my dad is french-canadian, maybe it translated a little differently.

Hot dogs are awesome. You can get all beef ones if you don't like the idea of eating weird stuff, but it's all the same to me. Good cheap food.

It's not the idea, it's the taste and texture.

Granted.

spend more get the all beef hot dogs... personally i prefer to spend less and have the lips and *******s version

That's utterly ridiculous..

CRUISE missiles don't knock.

speaking of american cheese, what the hell do you call that whacky orange stuff that you sometimes put on hotdogs in grated form?

Vomit?

A real chef? If it's something you like, they can't possibly disagree. A real chef knows that.

Also, there's tons of things that real chefs make that I wouldn't dare lay a finger on.

When you go to a real restaurant (eg: not McDonald's), there's a reason that 99% of the time "American" is not an option when you ask what sorts of cheese they have available.

i think it was some sort of figure of speech
perhaps it was personification giving the CRUISE missile the human ability to knock on doors or a euphemism instead of using words such as explode or destrow or blow up

i love sausage, but not too much
my favorite is this one with mozzeralla cheese stuffed down in the middle of this chicken sauasage.

If you didn't have to go to the hospital then its nothing. Try getting a 2nd degree burn some time.

There are these Pizza Hut ads. They're thoroughly stupid: the premise is that they take a family out to a fancy restaurant, but instead they lead the family back into their own home and serve them take-out pasta.

The advertisement prominently features "Premium Bacon Mac & Cheese." I have an issue with this assertion.

Can you get premium bacon? Sure. Something like pancetta maybe.

Can you get premium macaroni? Sure. Hand-made noodles. Hell, anybody can do it if they have a lot of free time. I guarantee it'll taste miles better than the dry boxed stuff, especially if you use fresh eggs.

Can you get premium cheese? Yes.

Is it still premium if you mix all of these things? No, no it isn't. Because it's children's food. Adults are not supposed to admit to eating macaroni and cheese in polite company regardless of bacon content. It is not served in a decent restaurant, Italian or otherwise. I can only assume the person who wrote this ad realized it, and chose to place his ostensibly upper-middle-class family in a situation where they would be revealed as clueless trailer trash for chowing down on "Kraft Dinner" pasticcio.

Why are American companies always so universally barren of taste?

Try not paying attention and letting your arm touch a pot of boiling water. That **** hurt so bad. I immediately put hydrocortizone cream on it but it hurt for at least a week, and I still have a mark. (It happened 3 weeks ago, and I was super drunk at the time)