My GF (25) lives with her parents going to school. Every now and then her dad goes out of town for a week. When this happens heaven forbid she leave the house and leave her mom alone by herself.

I didn't mind at first, but after 2 years it really gets on my nerves when our relationship goes on hold for a week because the world stops turning if her mom has to sit at home by herself for 4 hours and have to make herself dinner. Mom needs to be a grown up and learn to handle putting herself to bed and preparing her own food. Am I wrong to be annoyed by this?

Assuming the mom has some medical issues:
Annoyed? yes that's ok. But until your girlfriend moves out on her own you shouldn't give her or her mom too much crap about it.
If the Mom can't take care of herself, she can't take care of herself.

I'm 24 and I live with my parents. My mom has a slew of medical problems, including a recent hip replacement surgery and broken leg, and it's been up to me to take care of her alot.

Agreed.

Her mom has absolutely no medical issues, otherwise normal person who works 9-5 just like you or me. I just get the feeling she's extremely jealous that I am in the picture taking away from her mother-daughter time.

Well in that case I have absolutely no idea.

smack the bi***

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

Truth.

Don;t expect anything to change. She's a momma's girl, and mom is always going to come first.

People always do the most extreme things and usually I don't know if it's always necessary. I'll bet it's not a big deal at all for her to maintain a strong relationship with her mother while being your boyfriend. Tell her that.

Go to her parent's house, then, dumbass.

This.

That's not a solution to the problem, dumbass.

I visit them often, but this situation is so weird with her mom that I honestly don't feel welcome when her dad isn't around. Once again, it's like I'm interfering with "girl time"...

Break up with her, problem solved... DUMBASS

stick it in her pooper

Perhaps the mother needs a hobby?

So does the mother completely breaks down if she's alone? Is your girlfriend aware of this issue of yours?

then they would just be normal things

Well to put it simply, you're SOL. For one, you knew about this before you started dating, and now that you're further in the relationship you've decided it gets on your nerves. It's a major inconvenience yes, but one you were aware of nonetheless. The parents are definitely controlling freaks and the daughter is, as someone has pointed out, a mommas girl still stuck on her mom's tit. That is not going to change and anything you do to try to change it will drive you two further apart. Unfortunately, you can't do ****. Are you wrong for feeling the way you do? Absolutely not, but you will be if you take action upon it.

I'm not sure what you mean by saying I knew this before we started dating. I didn't know anything about her or her family until we started dating...

Sorry, what I mean to say was.. You have known about it for a long time. Of course you can't know fully going into the relationship without being with someone, but after a week or even a few months of being together, this would come up. This surely didn't start within the last year or so of your relationship.

This same issue ended my last relationship, her family came first no matter what.. it was pretty demoralizing to always come in second place :/. IMO it's not fair to your partner to put yourself out there if you're not really going to be "available".

It's understandable to be annoyed by that. If I were you I'd explain to her how spending that much time with her mother makes you feel second class.
It seems like she's doing something that I've done(and been corrected on) a number of times with my fiance. She's not thinking as a couple. She's letting that part of her life continue as if you were not a part of it. It's a very easy thing to do because we build habits as single people and when we enter a relationship we often have to break those.
That doesn't mean she should not spend any time with her mom when her dad is away but unless there's an important reason that she NEEDS to be with her mom then spending time with you should come first. of course it would be wise and loving of you to make effort to alow her to spend time with her mom but it should not be assumed that when her dad is away, she's going to be with her mom.
Does that make sense?

If you're serious about this girl, then she has to understand something. Family is important, yes. But when you get married, you both separate yourselves from your parents and form your own family. Now family still comes first : YOUR family, not your parent's family.

If you aren't serious about her, then dump her. You obviously want what I just described or you wouldn't be so bent up over it, so go find a girl that's better for you.

This isn't a situation you're going to change. This is a problem YOU have, which means you have only two choices: learn to deal with it or move on. Any other path (whining about it until she gets sick of you, or trying to force her to leave the house to see you) will only push the two of you apart. I'm the voice of experience here, and I took the "other path".

Also important, how does your girlfriend feel about this? If she's as tired of the situation as you are, she will eventually fix it herself. Solution: say nothing

If it doesn't bother her, the fact that it bothers you so much will really annoy her. Solution: say nothing

Tempermental's an idiot for saying what he did. The most important questions are:

Is this relationship going anywhere? (I assume it is, or you wouldn't have been with her for 2 years)

and,

Does it bother you enough to be willing to create a bit of drama by bringing it up?

If both of these answers are yes, then talk to her about it. Make sure she knows that you don't dislike her parents. Just that you feel like you get put on the back shelf when she's "babysitting" her mother, and that it kind of annoys you. Like JM just said above me, if this is a serious relationship, then it's worth the effort to create a little strife to work out a problem you're having. And bottom line, if you want your relationship to be successful, both of you need to put in the effort to compromise. That means you not being a clingy ***** when she wants to spend a bit of time with her family without you around (if not over done, this is not a bad thing), and it means her recognizing and being sensitive to how you feel, and not over doing it..

And if all else fails, you can always marry her and move her across the country.. (worked for me. :o)

Please, elaborate as to how I am an idiot for saying what I did, when it's completely true and has been backed up by posts after the fact (stories about how he cant win out against her parents, etc). Sorry but I fail to see how I am an idiot for pointing out the fact that these things didn't come up during the last couple weeks and were most likely around at least when they started dating. He can't win out the argument if she's that attached to her parents and even bringing it up is going to cause a fight between them in the most likely scenario. Granted, constant badgering of the issue after time, if the relationship even lasts that long, might cause her to eventually see the logic from his side but it also raises the possibility (a very strong one) that she'll just tell him to piss off and go with her parents. If she's a mommas girl she's going to be one for a long time and he isn't going to be the only thing causing a break in that chain.

Another one for the bandwagon?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect

No. I'm not comparing my skills nor rating my own abilities in contrast to his (as per your article). I'm telling him that if he didn't know about it prior to them dating, it became apparent soon thereafter, which he decided to stick with and "grin and bare it". Now that we're 2 years down the line it's starting to get on his nerves, and he now wants to do something about it. He let it go on for at least 2 years, while they were together. That is not something he is going to be able to break without causing significant tension in his relationship.

http://failblog.org/

Also: See my above reply and read your own article. I am pretty certain that what I stated can be backed up by plenty of anecdotal evidence from just experiences of people from this forum. When someone is under that kind of control from a parental unit it's very hard to break them of it, especially if they are extremely attached to those parents (being a momma's boy or girl). He's known about the issue for a while, and did nothing until it got on his nerves 2 years down the road. Problem is, for his girlfriend it's probably a normal lifestyle to do what her parents say when they say it. In her eyes, as many have already pointed out here already, mom and dad come first and he comes second (she's 25, she may be under their roof but she can still tell them she doesn't think it's right, and she obviously hasn't).

Wanna play wiki'links again?

You can't marry a girl when you come second.

Spouses come first. Spouses even come ahead of your own children. Your children are their own individuals; your spouse isn't. They are the other half of one being, and must always come first. If she's not putting you first, you don't have a future with her.

Unless Momma dies...

I say learn to deal with it.

This sort of thing will most likely end at one point or another. Wait it out, and when it ends (around the time she moves out), it'll be just that much more rewarding.

Remember, you're not with her for her parents. You're with her, for her. This is a problem her mom has (not being able to care for herself, or starving for attention as it would seem), and wanting to please your mother isn't abnormal - almost everyone does it (at least in my experience). So don't leave for something her mother does.

If it really does bother you though, you can talk to her about it, but do so calmly. Who knows, maybe she hates it too and will rant about it

Or, she may not even know it bothers you at all, or hell, she might not even notice it! If it's truly bugging you, talk.

A significant other's parents can drive a bigger wedge between two people than you think.

Yes, but this isn't the case.

Her mom has an independence problem. It's like leaving her because her mother has severe memory problems, or other such problems. I wouldn't go as far to say as it was the mothers fault.

Her caring for her mother is love. That's what children do. What is she supposed to do, completely abandon her parents to go see her boyfriend? No. What message would that give them?

Stick through it. If you can't keep committed through something so trivial as her caring for her mother (no matter what the reason her mother has for it), then you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. She wouldn't leave you for spending time with your mom, would she?

As I said, just talk to her. Deep communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you open to her and discuss it, the answer to what you should do next will reveal itself.

PS: I'd always advise not bringing your relationship stuff to Massassi. You'll only confuse yourself more, what with all the different replies and conflicts brewing in your thread.

Still her mothers actions are indirectly driving a wedge between them. This isn't a small issue that will go away.

Leaving mommy home alone for a few hours is not abandoning anyone. It's called normal. It's very likely that talking about will do little, if anything.

Click my sig.

Sling one up her best friend.

Outcome 1: Her friend decides not to tell your GF. You now have someone to play with when she's on girl-time.

Outcome 2: Friend rats you out. Your GF forgives you both. Situation re-sets. Go back to the beginning and do her again until you fall into outcome 1.

Outcome 3: Friend rats you out. You split up with GF and become happier. Also, you may get to continue with friend.

Outcome 4: Profit!

I hope Izzy doesn't read that

Read mine.

I'm saying the exact same thing that others have said in this thread.