what difference does it make? if he has known her for a week or 5 years..? it's irrelevant.

Actually there is a strong possibility that his girlfriend might find it relevant if she considers he said nothing until now, she might question why he left it so long before he said something. I'm not saying it's going to be the thing that ends the relationship at all, but that doesn't mean she won't go "Wtf? Why didn't you say something long ago about this if it bothered you?", doesn't mean she will either. Women like you to express your feelings and tell them when something is bothering you, so she might wonder why he didn't come forward sooner. I also find it relevant because it's easier to break someone of a pattern when it begins, rather than let them become accustomed to it over a long period of time and THEN try to break them of said habit/pattern/lifestyle. All I'm saying is that, most likely, it's going to be a lot harder to do it now than it would have been 2 years ago.

rip the bandaid off

The fact that he waiting two years before saying anything is irrelevant. Do you honestly believe that you're going to meet a girl who either 1) has basolutely nothing about her that annoys you, or 2) will sit there and listen to you when you start bringing up all the stuff that annoys you about her in the first week?

Tempermental, maybe I shouldn't have singled your post out specifically, or called you an idiot. So for that, I apologize. But I seriously think you've got some major misconceptions about relationships. Yes I agree with you that it's hard for people to change. But, compromise and change is what successful relationships are all about. There will never be two people who are perfectly compatable with eachother automatically, without requiring any tweaking. If you keep waiting for that girl, you'll never find her. But what makes relationships successful is when two people can be honest with themselves and with eachother about what's good and what's not so good in their relationship, and then work together to minimize the effects of those negative aspects.

I agree Sarn, and your apology is welcomed. The thing I was trying to illustrate is that there are two sides to every coin, while what you are saying is completely true that still does not entirely close the door on what I said. There have been plenty of instances I am sure that people have chosen their parents over their lovers (whether they realized later in life that they were wrong or not) and you have to admit, it does complicate things if you let it slide for a long period of time.



This is specifically what I was trying to get at. She might react and ask why he wasn't honest with her from the beginning and instead let it build up and bother him for a 2 year period. That, to me at least, is not significant enough to cause a huge fight or end a relationship. But then again as I said she might not.

As for the misconceptions about relationships, you may be entirely correct, but it's gotten me through the last 9 years just fine.

Temperamental doesn't understand how complicated long-term relationships are, Sran. He's never had the experience of meeting his wife on the internet and getting married 4 months later, so you'll have to cut him some slack.

You're right, 9 years is a very short time for a relationship

This is the part I don't buy. The girlfriend has presumably been dealing with this all her life, and it hasn't fixed itself yet. She might have to find out that this is a problem for people other than herself before she makes any effort to change it.

lol

a distinction: I met her about a year before we got married. I met her in person and got married 4 months later.

Lmao Sarn. 4 months?

Happy for you

... but seriously, 4 months?

Makes me wonder, do most people get married so quickly? If so... well no wonder so many marriages fail xD

I've been with my GF for 4 years. lol

Back in the day people got married without even knowing the other person

Bingo.

Got me there, Zan.

Some people won't change even if what they do is a problem for other people.

Just keep that in mind.

The fun thing is that I didn't change my sig whatsoever, that was the link that was already there.

Well then, my hat is off to you good sir

Thanks guys. There's some more stuff going on between us and we're gonna take a step back for a little while to think. I really don't want to let her go but we need to work some things out. I think 2 years together has earned us some form of obligation to put forth a reasonable amount of effort to do so.

I agree with what has been said about some "tweaking" always being required in good long term relationship.

Hey wait a minute, every moment you're not going at it like rabbits is a moment you aren't going at it like rabbits!

Think about that for a minute. After all, everything is about sex in the end.

Put it in her end.

lol I remember the days when Massassi was strictly PG rated (not that I am complaining at all)

Listen to this man!!