Seriously, how does one do one of these 'date' things?

1. Meet girl on corner
2. Tell her you want the "Dirty Sanchez"
3. Take her to a cheap motel
4. Give her $200
5. Enjoy!

"Hot Carl" or "Cleveland Steamer" can be substituted for Dirty Sanchez in item 2

We don't do/have any of those 4 things in England.

What a primitive, backwards nation.

Just be relaxed. Don't be a creep.

It is customary, when out to dinner on a first date, to order the most expensive items, then require your female companion to pay. This is both proper and sensitive to her status as an equal.

I can do the second part of that, I can count the number of times I've had relaxed conversations with relative strangers on one hand though.

It's not dinner, I would expect that to be potential date number 2.

Well, are you going to a movie or "get a cup of coffee" (or since you're in England, "cup of tea") or what?

What is date?

oooh.. these things.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_dactylifera

It's 'going for a drink', which I imagine means 2-3 drinks because I don't think getting quickly drunk is the best plan.

ice cream, offer ice cream after

girls love ice cream, and it gives you a chance to spill it on yourself and then they go aww

Drinks are dangerous on a date, because then a girl thinks you're trying to get her drunk so you can get in her pants. Now, that's usually the idea, but you don't want her to know it.

It's also a good idea to ask her for a photo of her mother, so you know what you might be getting into.

Drinks were her idea, though I probably would have suggested the same thing

Then by all means, get her drunk.

One of the things you can do to prepare is to come up with a list of ideas of things to talk about if conversation lulls. I don't know how you met her or how well you know her, but if you have four or five ideas to fall back on to restart conversation, you can relax a lot more and won't have to worry about running out of things to say.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

-Don't get piss *** hammered.
-Don't talk about anything serious. No politics, religion, whatever besides briefly mentioning what you are and only if she asks.
-Don't talk **** about other people, even her ex if she brings him up.
-Don't bring your exes up unless she asks. And even then, still don't talk **** about them.
-It's true that you should focus on her and not look at some other things like her chest, the waitress' ***, etc. But don't stare at her.
-Find some very specific detail about her outfit to compliment and then explain why you're complimenting her. Not "You look pretty". More like "I like your earrings. The shade of blue goes well with your outfit."
-Overdress just a tiny bit.
-Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions. She should be talking 2/3 of the time. Like mentioned above, make sure they are light hearted questions or just general information questions. If you want some questions to ask, I can provide you with some.
-Realize that this first date is a very casual, non-consequential event. All the two of you are doing is essentially getting a general feel for each other.
-Wipe the prospect of sex from your mind. Even the prospect of future sex. If you convince yourself that it's not going to be a possibility(not because she wouldn't want to, but rather because you would like to wait) then you'll be far more relaxed, calm, and thinking less with your penis, which always gets men into trouble. Spanking your monkey before the date helps ease yourself too. (Notice in this tip I never actually mentioned anything about refusing sex should the opportunity arise...)

I think this seems like a good start. If you want more tips, or tips in a specific area, let me know.

.

Kieran Horn pretty much nailed it.

GIGGITY

I wonder how many dates have historically consisted entirely of open-ended questions and dismissive answers because both the man and woman were told to let the other talk more.

You forgot step 6: Post about it on the internet.

Stop reading this crap and go out and do something interesting tonight. It will keep you from overthinking tomorrow's date, plus you will have something to talk about tomorrow. If you think about this too much you will have trouble going with the flow tomorrow and being yourself because you will be trying to remember everything you are "studying" right now.

I've yet to come across a woman that wasn't just thrilled to talk about herself.

Not talking about exes isn't going to be a problem.
Question ideas would be handy

Nothing on this earth will stop me overthinking something, and it's 11:45pm - a bit late to go out.

You have a date? Just like that new site you started?

Sort of like that, except that I'm not making things up.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to never take advice, especially not when people ho and hum and nod approvingly at the piece of advice while stroking their beards. Don't take advice from the single or chronically single because they don't know what they're talking about. Don't take advice from women because they don't have to do anything special to land a partner. Don't take advice from people in committed, meaningful relationships because, at the very least, I'm mystified at the process and telling you how to reproduce the results would be like making lightning strike twice.

Don't do anything you wouldn't do.

I'd read up on the Mystery Method or the Game.

Remember my Adventure stories? Don't do anything I did.

Whatever you do, don't pull out any sort of cellphone/PDA/etc and check your e-mail/facebook/whatever in the middle of the date.

Then again, don't take advice from me, because I've never been on a proper date before.

-"So what is it you do?" Ask her details about what she does, why she does it, etc.
-"Are you a college girl? What did you/are you studying?" Same as above.
-"Do you have any siblings? What are they like?"(as long as this isn't a touchy subject, like her brother recently died or something)
-"What drink do you usually prefer?"(obviously talking about booze here, not pepsi vs coke)
-If she's a drinker, compare notes about different alcohols with her. Perhaps share some humorous drinking stories(nothing graphic, sexual, or overboard like the time you were sitting naked on the toilet puking through your legs as you took a ****. Unless she first gives you stories equally graphic.)
-Pop culture is a gold mine for conversation material. It seems most women have at least some interest in the latest celebrity gossip so educate yourself(probably too short of notice for this date, but maybe pick up a couple things)
-If she's a reader and you're a reader, especially of the same genres, you've just opened a big *** easter basket of material.
-If you haven't been in a serious relationship before, don't bring it up. Just don't lie if she asks.
-If you have similar musical tastes, congratulations, another big topic to discuss...
-...though not as big if you have completely different musical tastes. Ask her why she likes the music she does, etc.
-Ask her about her interests in general, beyond just what she likes. Ask her when she developed a fondness for the activity, etc.

I can keep going if you want. I think I've given you more than enough material for a first date though. However, I can give you topics all day long and it won't mean diddle if you have difficulty improvising in a conversation and going with the flow.

Then I guess that means my advice is golden. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jon. I love you, man.

Stop worrying about it and enjoy yourself.

Dude show her that website you linked in your other thread and I'm sure she'll be impressed!

You're in a committed, meaningful relationship?? :omg::omg::omg::omg::omg:

Did she arrive via UPS?

Joncy is dating Rob?

Better yet, show her Can Yun-O Ace Is! Her mind will be blown!

Maybe I should retroactively dedicate the level to her?

Yeah, do that. I hear it worked out really well for the last guy that did that.

tell her to s your d for $12