Seriously, how does one get one of these 'date' things?

I've been doing some research on this. From what I can gather, it *seems* to involve lasers. I'm moving on to some field experimentation next, to figure out what sort of laser colours and power outputs you need.

I don't know how to do it the conventional way, I got fed up and went for dating sites.

I think you have to be really hot

That's not a bad idea. What dating sites did you try? I've had an OKcupid profile for over three years and it hasn't seemed to have much more success.

What he said. There is no other way.

The problem with OKCupid is that it's free, it's actually a far better site than say match.com but people get a lot more motivated if they're paying.

The other problem with OKCupid is that the active membership is pretty low and the community aspect means that a suprisingly high proportion of active members aren't actually single.

You have to have a flattering profile picture, but you also have to have several of them. I think everyone is pretty suspicious of people who only have one photo and that photo only shows their face. Most people tend to be pretty unphotogenic, so it may be worth finding a friend who's good with a camera to take an 'honest' photo. By honest I mean a photo that is recognisably you, rather than a photo that just happens to have good lighting.

If you do message/email people, don't say more than a couple of sentences. I've made the mistake of trying to write an email based on reading the person's profile repeatedly and it's not worth it (and to be honest can be pretty creepy). You need to be able to contact several people a week, and you're not going to be able to do that if you invest too much time in each one.

Honestly finding the right person will be utterly spontaneous, so you can't really go out and look for them, either IRL or on the web.

Unfortunately they have a really low spawn rate.

Yes, that is what all my friends told me. This approach just doesn't work for some people.

Truth.

I admit that I, too, have an okcupid account.... most worthless thing ever. Got one date out of all of the people that I messaged...

...she didn't show.

Women...

Ironically, the woman I'm dating now was an old but tangential friend of mine. We went to see the new Star Trek movie, and beforehand had been complaining about how hard it was to find intelligent open-minded nerdy people who weren't disgusting-- and then were just like.. heyy.. wait a minute. *glomp*

I think you have to have been on dates before you're allowed to say that

Does she have a sister?

Yes, just live your life and ignore girls and eventually one of them will try really hard to marry you. And at that point you'll be fully qualified to have a relationship. And sex. Yup.

Anyway, I just joined a new site and I've been chatting with a bunch of new people every day... I've already met two, had a great time with one of them. And I've got another date for tonight.

Vin the problem is that we're ugly.

Ooh actually that suggests a new line of inquiry - perhaps we are meant to use the lasers to blind the target female, such that she can't measure our attractiveness.

Maybe you can use lasers to mask your body with a hologram of Bradley Cooper.

No, the problem is that you're straight.

Are you hitting on me?

Never mind I forgot I'm a naive child. So far in my life every time I met someone I ended up dating was a happy accident. But then again I am 19 and starting college, so I guess I'll just enjoy these 4 years before real life sets in...

No I'm saying it's a lot easier for gay guys to meet/date/**** other people than straight guys. Especially with internets.

Hm.

/me goes rooting around in brain for sexuality switch neuron

no dice, I'm still straight

What a fate, to be in love with the gender that will never love me back.

You don't need practice having sex for a long term relationship.

Sorry Zell, but that's a very naïve perspective. The thought that meeting the "right" person has to be something "magical" and "special" is a bunch of ****. There are billions of women on the planet, the thought that there can only be one "right" person is ridiculous. People that remarry, especially after death of a spouse, should be evidence enough.

No no no, I never said there's only one "right" person. I meant the right person for you. Could be hundreds of girls like that out there. Hence the part where I said girls that I dated and made me happy I found purely by accident. Read: Girls. Not just one "Mrs. Right".

Right does not mean unique. Certain people are better suited to each other than others.

You're confusing me here, since these sound like the exact same thing.


So because you've only found girls by accident, others can't find them through a dating service? It still sounds like you're implying there's something "special magic" that has to happen.

I hit it off really great with this guy today.

If only I was gay.

And also single.

That would only be confusing if you didn't read on. Context, bud.



No, not magic. Just a certain air of not actively looking for love. If you stop looking for it, it will find you. That's my experience. I'm not saying I've never gone out looking, because I have. It's just that my luck got significantly worse when I was actively looking.

I did read on, the wording still confused me.

Well I may have worded it poorly, then. I don't have the most spectacular vocabulary. As long as you ended up understanding what I meant.

Which would make you wrong.



He's just saying that things like dating services and other events and situations that are designed to help you find a girl generally aren't effective enough to significantly raise your chance of developing a strong relationship beyond the normal random encounters of everyday life.

I know what you're doing here. You erroneously decided that Zell was expressing a sappy mystical opinion, and even though it's become clear that he wasn't, you're still trying make it look like he did. So you aren't really arguing against him, you're just making a series increasingly pathetic attempts to make the same straw man stick. It's stupid.

Women find whiny, pity-party guys to be very desirable. Keep up the good work.

Love how many people are taking this seriously.

Er, no, I was just trying to understand what he was getting at.


This sounds sort of like what you're trying to do against me. Don't go looking for a fight where there is no battle.

HAVE AT THEE FAGGOT

Strike up a conversation with a girl. Ask if she wants to get coffee. Repeat as necessary.

I mean, seriously.

So the lasers are for making the coffee then? Oh dear, I've seriously misunderestimated the wattage required.

Something like this would work, but is quite out of my budget range.