I think the best option for you is to distract one with one of your lasers and then give her a whiff of chloroform.

kyle, run up to a girl you like screaming, "Look at my lazer!" then pull out the big beam on her.

THANK YOU.

I thought no one was ever going to figure this out.

i don't like coffee.

guess i'm destined to be single forever

I don't like coffee either.

Damnit, maybe that's my problem.

Look at a calendar. Instadate.

You wanna know what it takes to find a chick? Bring outgoing, honest and being yourself. Eventually you'll meet someone who thinks you're cute and digs you. You can't be afraid to be rejected if you ask for their number and a great place to meet such people is at a concert of a group you like. After 21 years I'm just now starting to understand that there is no magic just odds. Learn to be social, confident, and stay away from awkward inside or Internet jokes.

I met my current girlfriend at a MSTRKRFT show a couple weeks back, spent a couple days texting her. A few days later she drives down to visit me and despite some trepidation after a few hours we really hit it off. She was supposed to leave the day after she came down and ended up staying 5 days and now I'm in Memphis visiting her until Sunday.

The point being that I'm far from an expert and wasn't looking for love at a techno show, but love will find you if you make yourself available and everyone can find someone. Oh and all those rules that womanizers live by are complete bull****, just be yourself and try not to be creepy and you'll be fine. Don't expect it to
happen overnight though, it tames some time.

That's key advice right there. It takes only one question too many, one phone call too many, one glance too many to cross the line into creepy.

I'm going to ignore your serious self-masturbatory post you made in a non-serious thread.

How awesome was MSTRKRFT? I saw them at lollapalooza a last week, freaking loved it.

sorry I thought it was a serious thread. If I wanted to be masturbatory (self-masturbatory is a bit redundant) then I'd talk about the sex among other things. I'm just realizing that gettin a chick isn't so much of a science as it is getting out in public and not spouting internet memes constantly. But considering this isn't serious I could see how it might come off as pretentious.

However, that all aside mstrkrft was amazing. Simply ****ing mindblowing. So much energy, good drugs, great music, and more sweat than I've had on my body at any one point in my life. I'm going back to see Rusko and Deadmau5 at the same venue, and will be seein Girl Talk and hopefully Built to Spill and Justice all before December. This should be an interesting fall.

Ps fish i really hope you're not one of those people who think just because I post something about me being with a girl in any capacity automatically means I'm trying to show off because if so that says more sad things about. You than it does me.

I'm just screwing with you, buddy. Also, Self-Masturbatory isn't redudant, since masturbatory just means manipulation with the hand. It doesn't stipulate your own hand.

I saw Deadmau5 at lolla too, they were fantastic. Have you ever seen Dan Deacon? Quite possibly the greatest show I've ever seen. (He brought a 23 piece band with him)

For some people, being themselves AND being outgoing is very definitely NOT honest.

I always thought masturbation denoted self-pleasuring. But no, a 23 piece band? Damn. That sounds intense. I'm hoping Rusko will be some sick dubstep, girl talk will be a huge dance party, built to spill should be to s of fun and if I make it to Voodoofest in New Orleans Justice will be Justice.

I really wanna make Trinumeral for Glitch Mob and Pnuma Trio but I just dunno if that'll work out

Oh hey guys we've found the secret to getting girls; you just have to be confident lololololololol

What? You mean you can't just go out there and BE CONFIDENT? Welp, looks like you're destined to be lonely your whole life.

more likely than not yeah, you are going to be alone for a large chunk of your life. There's always exceptions to the rules and I hope everyone here who lacks confidence is an exception. I never was though--was overweight nerdy and introverted during high school and never got anywhere with girls because of this. I had no confidence and this continued even for a couple years out obviously; I think turning 20 was when I started to looseN up then 21 was when I really felt good about myself (I've lost a good 50 pounds since getting out of high school become a lot more outgoing and more interested in socializing than in what the newest games/computer components etc were.

Detty--if being outgoing isn't who you are then either fake it or hope you're one of the lucky few true love comes up and bites in the ***. Never worked for me but, without any trace of sarcasm I swear I wish the best of luck to you. It takes a lot to break the habit of staying introverted in your safe little circle I know from experience and hey, who knows I could be wrong about everything I've said so far but I'm just saying what seems to work for me (and be a bit of common sense). And hell kyle90 the whole point of my post is there is no secret except getting out there. The rest just seems to help.

booooooooooooooooring

I imagine Kyle will end up with a nice girl, just like this guy

If you can't find love, create it. Not an altogether bad philosophy, but our current technology isn't quite up to the task.

Couple more decades, though...

Ok. here's what you do:

Randomly meet girl on internet and flirt shamelessy. Spend just about every waking moment either talking to her or thinking about her. Then join the millitary, and have her meet your parents and come to your graduation from boot camp, which you don't actually attend because you're too busy serving officers cake. Then, you meet up with her later for the first time in person and act a little shy, but soon realize that you get along really well with her and already know her really well since you spent all that time talking to her and thinking about her. Then you ask her to marry you about a month later over Myspace. She'll agree, and will share with her mom, but won't tell her dad because she's gonna make you do it, and hope he doesn't bash your head in with a baseball bat. Then marry her, move across the country with her, and leave her alone for months while you travel to the other side of the world where it's 120 degrees all day long.

Trust me. It works every time.

Oh I see, by joining the military you get access to powerful defensive lasers. Very clever.

uhh yes. that's it exactly. >.>