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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Le Sigh
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Le Sigh
2004-08-22, 4:51 PM #1
Okay, here goes.

The girl I've mentioned liking, she invited me to church, right? Invited me to lunch afterwards, drove me home (because I walked there, it's across the street, so she gave me a ride to their house), then insisted on walking me to my door (weird, I know o_O). So we stand there, and look at each other, and blah blah blah, we hug, and I say goodbye. Now I feel like I lost some sort of chance with her.

She's treated me specially amongst me and my friends always, I realize now. At the Halo party last night she asked me to teach her the nuances of the game, hung around me, and afterwards invited me to church, nobody else. One could say "She's just being friendly", but I have the feeling it's more than that. Now the question.

Homecoming's in a few weeks. I've been thinking about asking her. I realize it shouldn't hurt to be rejected, but it will. In the last year I've known this girl, I've grown to love her, and I've been very careful about how I treat her and such. I've been 'mysterious and indifferential' while still treating her nicely, so as not to put her off. I'm just wondering if I should take the plunge.

Kieran, PW, I know your advice on any other matter, but this is different. We know each other really, really well. In fact I met her parents today, and they're nice people (if a bit too Southern Baptist for me. To each his/her own), and she flirted with me all day. If you're going to give advice, think about it. What if you had made a female friend that you then fell in love with? You couldn't start treating her like just someone you barely know, thus your normal advice woudln't apply. You'd have to be careful about it.

I'm just asking for a bit of Massassian vibes here, you could say, and advice/uplifting speech if you have it. Tomorrow morning in C Programming I'll check on this thread, and depending on what I hear, I may/may not ask her to the dance, or even a movie (been considering that one too).

On the not so lovey-dovey angsty note, I ordered my GF 6800 GT today. W00t for newegg.

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D E A T H
2004-08-22, 4:55 PM #2
Ask her to the movie at least. If it goes well, ask her to the dance.

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"I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than loved for who I pretend to be." -Janis Joplin
2004-08-22, 4:57 PM #3
Survey says...

*DING*

Flowers.


[and a date or something. It'd be kinda creepy and awkward just to give her flowers w/o a date.]

[This message has been edited by DogSRoOL (edited August 22, 2004).]
Catloaf, meet mouseloaf.
My music
2004-08-22, 5:04 PM #4
Wow, it's been a while since I've attempted to give advice to anyone, and I know I spend more time at the ISB than anywhere else... and I know that I'm in Turkey and single, but I think I might be able to attempt to help.

Anyway, a good place to start is by asking her out to lunch. Lunch is neutral. It's not dinner. Or a movie. Or dinner and a movie. Or a dance. It's lunch. It'll give you a little extra opportunity to get an idea of what you should do. Or give her an opportunity to make a move. And if nothing comes of it, it's just lunch with a good friend. No harm, no foul.

Just remember, you're not going to get anywhere if you don't put in a bit of a risk. I can look back to my high school years now and see so many opportunities for relationships that I passed up on because I was too paranoid/idealistic/afraid of rejection.

But that's enough rambling... Lunch is key [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]
Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
2004-08-22, 5:07 PM #5
See, I was thinking that, but no real good "date movies" out at the moment. Just good action flicks.

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D E A T H
2004-08-22, 5:12 PM #6
I know this sounds REALLY corny, and it would make rejection even worse, but if you're pretty sure she'll say yes, an amazing way to start everything off on the right foot (with her and her parents, especially if they're Southern Baptist), is flowers. Not roses or anything, just something nice.

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A thirty-two bit extension and GUI shell to a sixteen bit patch to an eight bit operating system originally coded for a four bit microprocessor and sold by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition."
That painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me.
2004-08-22, 5:13 PM #7
Go see some chick flick with her. Like Princess Diaries 2 :/ I dunno.

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Think while it's still legal.
2004-08-22, 5:14 PM #8
Actually, I'm thinking that would be perfect. She's the kind of girl that would really appreciate it

The flowers bit.

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[This message has been edited by Dj Yoshi (edited August 22, 2004).]
D E A T H
2004-08-22, 6:36 PM #9
Without a doubt, ask her to the movie first. If all goes really well, you can aske her to the dance, maybe even after the movie.

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Kill Your Idols!
The tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite.
2004-08-22, 6:45 PM #10
Yeah, she wants to go further, you arent letting her. Take your chance now, sink your teeth into her and don't let go.

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--Garrison Keillor
2004-08-22, 6:52 PM #11
Now's your chance. The door is wide open.

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Pissed Off?
2004-08-22, 6:53 PM #12
Hm, I dont think that she was just being friendly by only asking you to go to church with her.

I think if you like her, then you should take the chance of asking her to prom. Yes there is a possibility for rejection, but you will never know unless you take a risk.

Without risk you'll always have a "what if" and looking back will you be able to live with the fact that you liked her but didn't have the nerve to do something about it?

Now if it's nerve wracking to go about asking her to do this, I agree with what the guys are saying about asking her to hang out at the movies.

If she goes this is a good sign, and you can get to see how she is around you beforehand. There aren't really any date movies out, but you could always take her to see a comedy. "Without a Paddle" is out, and that looks good. Then you all will have something to discuss afterwards.

All I have to say is if you all have become so close, she wont mind you're asking her to prom. If things get a little uncomfortable back of for a little and then proceed again as friends. Yes it's going to hurt, but I think what would hurt more in the end, is finding out you may have had a chance and you never took initiative.

Hm I hope that helps out some. If you need anymore advice, let me know. If you'd like to correspond in email that can be done as well. Good Luck and keep us all informed on what happens [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif] Wish you the best, love is a great feeling! [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif] [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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Lets finish it then, let us be rid of it...I can't carry it for you Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you...Come on!

"Life Happens While You're Busy Making Other Plans..."
"Too bad stupidity doesn't actually kill"

"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide."^"I say never be complete...I say let's evolve." ** Fight Club**
2004-08-22, 7:00 PM #13
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Kieran, PW, I know your advice on any other matter, but this is different. We know each other really, really well. In fact I met her parents today, and they're nice people (if a bit too Southern Baptist for me. To each his/her own), and she flirted with me all day. If you're going to give advice, think about it. What if you had made a female friend that you then fell in love with? You couldn't start treating her like just someone you barely know, thus your normal advice woudln't apply. You'd have to be careful about it.
</font>


I'd go for it. The ball is in your court, run with it.

Let us know how it goes.



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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.
2004-08-22, 7:02 PM #14
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by SAJN_Master:
Go see some chick flick with her. Like Princess Diaries 2 :/ I dunno.

</font>


why torture yourself>? Movie dates are not good b/c it leaves little time for interaction. For a first date, i suggest something simple like coffee. Later dates can be miniture golf, bowling, etc. Something fun.



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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.
2004-08-22, 7:06 PM #15
See I'd love to have something so simple as coffee-but there aren't any good places in town. The only thing close is the Starbucks in Barnes and Nobles. And believe it or not, Minigolf and Bowling doesn't exist here. I'm serious. o_O

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D E A T H
2004-08-22, 7:15 PM #16
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Dj Yoshi:
See I'd love to have something so simple as coffee-but there aren't any good places in town. The only thing close is the Starbucks in Barnes and Nobles. And believe it or not, Minigolf and Bowling doesn't exist here. I'm serious. o_O

</font>



Damn that sucks, and miniture golf would have definitely been a good choice. Well do you know of other interests she has, or that you both share mutually that you could turn into some sort of date activity?




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Lets finish it then, let us be rid of it...I can't carry it for you Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you...Come on!

"Life Happens While You're Busy Making Other Plans..."
"Too bad stupidity doesn't actually kill"

"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide."^"I say never be complete...I say let's evolve." ** Fight Club**
2004-08-22, 7:32 PM #17
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Dj Yoshi:
See I'd love to have something so simple as coffee-but there aren't any good places in town. The only thing close is the Starbucks in Barnes and Nobles. And believe it or not, Minigolf and Bowling doesn't exist here. I'm serious. o_O

</font>


Yeesh... Do you live out in the sticks or something? It's great to be here in the middle of everything in long beach, cali.

do the starbucks in barnes and nobles, then. Its better than nothing.

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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited August 22, 2004).]
2004-08-22, 7:36 PM #18
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS:
why torture yourself>? Movie dates are not good b/c it leaves little time for interaction. For a first date, i suggest something simple like coffee.</font>


Yeah I've never understood the whole "movie date" thing. The first date needs to focus on interaction so you can see how compatible you are. Staring at a movie screen for two hours isn't going to do that IMO.

Anything fun that gives you plenty of time to talk is what I'd suggest. Save the movies for when you know each other better and want a change of pace.

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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1, 2 & 3 | Gonk WoW Petition <- SIGN!
Corrupting the kiddies since '97
2004-08-22, 8:34 PM #19
In any case, DO SOMETHING! Don't lose this chance, because if you do, then you will look back on it and regret, and regret is worse than rejection.

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Kill Your Idols!
The tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite.
2004-08-23, 1:42 AM #20
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by twisteduprising:
Well do you know of other interests she has, or that you both share mutually that you could turn into some sort of date activity?
</font>


All night Halo deathmatches [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

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"This hole is octogo. Ogiganeel. It's Octa.. It's got eight sides."
"Sam and Max Hit the Road-sign. The one saying 'Stop'."
2004-08-23, 2:14 AM #21
Yeh you can go for long drives along a beach.
And over rocks...
And dodging trees...
And bigger rocks...
While working as a team...
To kill aliens...
That are trying to kill you...

Well hey, can't have everything!

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Morituri Nolumus Mori
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Morituri Nolumus Mori
2004-08-23, 2:39 AM #22
Barnes and Noble is a great place to take her [http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]
seriously, books and coffee are a great way to get to know someone and have a good time. (just don't go into the computer books section unless she is l33t =P)

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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
"*quickly adds in disclaimer that Is may still yet end up being slapped with a white glove, as all women are crazy and there are no rules*" --mavispoo
2004-08-23, 4:36 AM #23
Thanks. I think I'll ask her at lunch today. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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D E A T H
2004-08-23, 4:50 AM #24
If a girl is friends with you and she gives off vibes that she likes you in a vague manner, don't take it as anything.
She wants you to go for it so she can reject you and make you feel awful and lose sleep and binge drink whenever you can because your life ****ing sucks so much and you just want to be happy once but no, God won't let you and you're limited to one-night stands where someone always blacks out and you wake up bleeding in someone else's dorm, wearing a members only jacket and sweat pants, always about twenty yards from achieving something special and human but you know that everytime you make a run for it you'll get sacked at the peak of your hope. You know it's coming but it hurts worse each time and constantly reminds you that no matter what you do you'll die alone.
So just stop talking to her.

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What once was...
Snail racing: (500 posts per line) ---@%
2004-08-23, 5:36 AM #25
Someones bitter... [http://forums.massassi.net/html/rolleyes.gif]

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/fluffle
/fluffle
2004-08-23, 5:38 AM #26
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Warlord:
If a girl is friends with you and she gives off vibes that she likes you in a vague manner, don't take it as anything.
She wants you to go for it so she can reject you and make you feel awful and lose sleep and binge drink whenever you can because your life ****ing sucks so much and you just want to be happy once but no, God won't let you and you're limited to one-night stands where someone always blacks out and you wake up bleeding in someone else's dorm, wearing a members only jacket and sweat pants, always about twenty yards from achieving something special and human but you know that everytime you make a run for it you'll get sacked at the peak of your hope. You know it's coming but it hurts worse each time and constantly reminds you that no matter what you do you'll die alone.
So just stop talking to her.

</font>


why do you take rejection so seriously? Why do you let it get to you?



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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.
2004-08-23, 6:11 AM #27
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by BurrBoy:
In any case, DO SOMETHING! Don't lose this chance, because if you do, then you will look back on it and regret, and regret is worse than rejection.

</font>


Go yoshi go!

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2004-08-23, 6:29 AM #28
It seems like she was dropping you hints to ask her to go to homecoming with you, almost.

[This message has been edited by Lord_Grismath (edited August 23, 2004).]
Cordially,
Lord Tiberius Grismath
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2004-08-23, 7:00 AM #29
Meh, rejection really isn't that big of a deal. They say no. So what?

Seems like lots of people are needlessly afraid of rejection and take it way too hard. Get over it, people. You're going to die alone because you're too scared of being rejected to even TRY to get someone. Not because you're always rejected.
2004-08-23, 8:37 AM #30
Don't hesitate to ask someone out that you like... A girl I liked in High school wound up moving at the end of the school year and I never really got to tell her to her face how i felt about her, I was not able to make the time remaining worthwhile because it was to late... If they reject you... well, she was not for you and move on, if possible retain friendship, but move on and don't feel guilty if you ask someone out and then accept... they had thair chance and passed you up so don't feel bad about it if you are still friends with them...

anywho... good luck on the lunchion

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Inter arma silent leges
The Gas Station
2004-08-23, 8:43 AM #31
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Grant:
Don't hesitate to ask someone out that you like...

</font>


damn right. If you hesitate, you're just going to end up screwing yourself. (figuratively and maybe even literally)


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I have found that you can transform your character solely by the power of belief: as you believe yourself to be, so you shall become over time.
2004-08-23, 9:30 AM #32
Are you sure your ready for this step?? Relationships suck, I could care less for girls any more after what I've gone through. I realize now I have more time to spend on doing the things I love rather than the one I "love" :P

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I felt like destroying something beautiful.
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2004-08-23, 9:45 AM #33
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS:
damn right. If you hesitate, you're just going to end up screwing yourself. (figuratively and maybe even literally)


</font>


Tehehe...

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/fluffle
/fluffle
2004-08-23, 11:08 AM #34
Never change or mask how you feel about somebody - ever. If you feel it, say it.

Oh, and if you want to ask this girl out, do so! I procrastinated asking mine out and it was absolutely terrifying when I finally got to doing it. Just get it out and over with, and so long as you're sincere and heartfelt, I think any decent girl would have trouble bluntly refusing you, which is what we're all genuinely afraid of.

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2004-08-23, 11:31 AM #35
The only reason I hesitated today was she wasn't having a good day at all. I could tell.

I'll wait for tomorrow to come, and if she's in a better mood, I'll ask her out.

Problem is a) I can't drive, and b) I don't know when to ask for. Something as informal as coffee could possibly happen that night. Oh well, we'll see. Maybe I should just ask for homecoming--that way I can at least plan it better.

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D E A T H
2004-08-23, 11:44 AM #36
If you think she's having a bad day, well damn make it better and ask her! When she is having a bad day sometimes thats even better to help her to cheer up.

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America, home of the free gift with purchase.
America, home of the free gift with purchase.
2004-08-23, 11:48 AM #37
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Dj Yoshi:
See, I was thinking that, but no real good "date movies" out at the moment. Just good action flicks.</font>


I'll have to agree with all the folks who are saying a movie isn't ideal for a first date. Unless you know she's a coffee drinker, I'd say that a lunch date is preferable. Not everyone drinks coffee, but everyone (as far as I know) eats.

Always keep in mind, however, that a relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

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"Why aren't I'm using at these pictures?" - Cloud, 4/14/02
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2004-08-23, 11:52 AM #38
Only problem with that is we eat lunch together every day. So I was going for something...different.

Right now, I'm just trying to think of things I can ask her out to do.

List:
Lunch
Coffee

Any suggestions? I want as many things to fall back on as possible.

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There is no signature
D E A T H
2004-08-23, 11:55 AM #39
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Warlord:
If a girl is friends with you and she gives off vibes that she likes you in a vague manner, don't take it as anything.
She wants you to go for it so she can reject you and make you feel awful and lose sleep and binge drink whenever you can because your life ****ing sucks so much and you just want to be happy once but no, God won't let you and you're limited to one-night stands where someone always blacks out and you wake up bleeding in someone else's dorm, wearing a members only jacket and sweat pants, always about twenty yards from achieving something special and human but you know that everytime you make a run for it you'll get sacked at the peak of your hope. You know it's coming but it hurts worse each time and constantly reminds you that no matter what you do you'll die alone.
So just stop talking to her.

</font>


That was wonderful. Five stars.


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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1, 2 & 3 | Gonk WoW Petition <- SIGN!
Corrupting the kiddies since '97
2004-08-23, 12:01 PM #40
If you're compatible then it doesn't really matter WHAT you do. You could take her to Chuck E Cheese's or just go over to your house and play Parcheesi and still have a good time if you're compatible.

Take it slow. Make friends with her first. Then, if she isn't interested in you, you can still be friends. And you so you might not have found a date, but you might have found a best friend for the rest of your life.

And that's always nice.

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"Your entire base belongs to us."
"It would be highly appreciated if someone would set the bomb up for us"
"Launch all of our ships, christened 'Zigs', to insure that justice will be achieved swiftly and powerfully."
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