Medical stuff tomorrow, figure out my job.

Ship out within a few weeks.

Gonna join the Canadian Air Force myself this summer, you're in the US Army?

Good luck with MEPS. It's a *****.

Just remember... you have never been to the doctor. You have never been sick. You have never been injured. You have never taken any kind of medication. You are an utterly perfect person in every way...

Otherwise you will come back without taking your oath.

EDIT: and how the hell are you shipping in a few weeks? I guess your recruiting station is hard up for guys...

Aye.

Hopefully.

Still need to pass a physical, there is a small chance that might not go well, but that would only limit me from infantry at the worst.

Ha, thanks. I already went about joining the service about a year ago, and I went about it all wrong.

So I went to a different recruiter this time around, and kept my mouth shut about my life.

Went A LOT more smooth.

I know the guy that is involved in the MEPS test. So that can save me from any troubles, hopefully, if he doesn't mind loosing his job.

Just keep your mouth shut and you will be fine. Do NOT give them any information... no matter what. You have never even had a ****ing cold. If you do not follow this advice you will NOT get in...

Also, drink tons of water and don't jack off. If you jack off your piss test will pop for protein and you'll get rejected. Don't eat too much, either, because you're going to have about 8 hours of your day where you will not be able to go take a dump...

8 hours? The guy told me it was going to take a while ...

What the hell are they going to be doing to me?

water, check. no pooping, check.

If you have a conviction on your adult record you might not want to LIE about it though...

EDIT:Also, chill out. If you're a relatively good human being you are going to get in. Though I have heard that they are not nearly as desperate as they were a while ago, considering the current conflicts are starting to wind down in many respects.

I have legal documentation entitling me to lie about it!

At the worst? Strange definition of worse you have there.

Don't forget the economy!

Depending on the economy they'll reject you on a scar or get you in with missing teeth after being released from prison.

That, combined with the facts that more people than usual are turning to the military as a career option because of a poor job market, and the President's decision to decrease funding, has caused the armed services to become more picky about their applicants.

[Boo, instaposted]

If this is seriously what you referenced to your previous difficulties then you are going to have problems. The question is "Have you ever been arrested, charged, cited or held by Federal, state, or local law enforcement or juvenile authorities regardless of whether the citation was dropped or dismissed, or you were found not guilty?". If you fail to disclose something you will be forced to explain it when it comes up in the electronic background check along with why you lied.

Rumor has it that they put saltpeter in the food at the Mess Hall to disable your Hard on, but only in Basic Training. I remember in Basic training that a Drill Seargent was displaying a rubber chicken when he was talking about consequences if you were caught masturbating.

And according to what Wookie said is absolutley the truth. The Military does a very thorough background check and will give a copy of your fingerprints to the FBI.

i thought the army really wanted people why are they rejecting if you have hobbies like jerking off? i didnt know you could get rejected for havings colds lol, everyone does, isnt that common sense?

Pretty much all of that advice in this thread is bunk.

Yeah, couchman, but the standards to enlist are really hardcore these days.... Wookie is full of ****, though... lie your ass off.... the FBI is so underfunded that they won't bother to run the background check...

The FBI doesn't run any background check for routine security screening. It's completely electronic (ENTNAC). When something comes up, the burden of proof then becomes the applicant's to provide sufficient documentation of the charges. It will not matter that some judge has stricken or expunged the record at that point. If your moral compass is okay with lying your ass off then that is okay. In the end, despite what they tell you, you aren't going to be charged with anything for lying to attempt to enlist. You will just have wasted lots of people's time. Including yours.

But you really have to lie like hell to enlist right now... That's the thing... And when you have your moment of truth meeting... lie then too...

Dude, who is telling you this ****?

A recruiter, probably.

1.) The RCAF was disbanded 40 years ago. Canada's military has one division. When you apply to the Canadian forces, you apply to the army, navy air force and intelligence.

2.) You do not get to choose your assignment. Your assignment is based on your education and the jobs that are in demand.

3.) A high school diploma is not a good education.

4.) Right now there's a shortage of technicians and operators. They will force you into a technical career (non-com) and they aren't going to give you an inch of choice on this.

5.) The only people who are allowed to be pilots are commissioned officers, lieutenant or higher. In Canada this rank usually means you entered the armed forces with a bachelor's degree.

6.) There is no demand for pilots. Right now, even if you have a bachelor's degree, you're going to get pushed into a technical career.

If you have heard differently, you were lied to.

This goes for everything JonC says, by the way

I did MEPS in 1996 and none of the crap in this thread was true then. Well, it did take ~8 hours, but they put me up in a decent hotel and it was no big deal. Most of the time was spent waiting in lines and/or filling out paperwork, the actual examination part was relatively short. They would accept people who admitted to experimenting with drugs (1 time or something). And you had to be healthy -- no chronic conditions like diabetes or whatever. But we were allowed to use the restroom whenever we wanted, not sure what that's about.

I just thought you signed your name and you were in...

back in the Vietnam war days and before some criminals were given a choice, prison or go into the Military, and given the worst duties. Even the poorly educated was drafted in. When I was enlisted in the late 80's that was no longer the situation. They wanted people with a clean background and no High School dropouts.

What Anthony is saying is pretty much how many recruiters brief their applicants before they go to the MEPS. While it certainly is true that people are medically disqualified at the MEPS, routine medical treatments aren't going to significantly affect your entry. It can delay processing. When I was a recruiter I would tell people not to diagnose themselves with anything, let the doctor do his job. If there were any significant medical events in their history I would normally get the documentation before hand and send it to the MEPS for review. I would tell people to disclose their drug use, especially if there was any possibility of coming up positive. In almost four years I only had one person fail a drug test and that's because he thought he needed to lie to me. If I had known, I would have tested him before sending him to the MEPS and delayed his trip as long as necessary. In general, I would advise applicants not to hide something that could give them problems later. It just isn't worth it.

Why yes, that is common knowledge. Jerking off makes you blind, didn't you know that?

I was *****ing about it to the recruiter saying there should be some way around it (finding documentation of my medical history), just give me a physical and see my leg is fine.

So he suggested I just say I can't find any documentation since it was before electronic documents, and that just get a regular physician to sign it off or whatnot.

So that sounds like it should cover that basis.

And I'm an idiot, I thought I had taken the ASVAB but it was just a pre-one. So I gotta go take the real one tomorrow, as well.

...& don't worry about whether or not you're going to like the Army because going AWOL is as easy as pie. If you end up at the mental ward on HWY 31W outside of Ft. Knox just give me a call (PM me for #) in the middle of the night & I'll be there in 30 minutes. I'll even throw in a Massassi discount (10%).

The real ASVAB has like 4 more sections on it than the practice test, too.

Basically, if you're aware of basic fundamentals of human thought... You should do very well on it. My AFQT was a 93... I expect you to do better.

All you have to do is go to the medical correspondence department of the facility where treatment occurred to request those records. Then the documents can be sent to the MEPS for a "med read". They will determine if you are eligible for processing. They may require an additional ortho consult which they should pay for. It could be that you are illegible or that a waiver is required. It is true, however, than when recruitment goals are being met that medical waivers can be disapproved. Waivers are processed by each service, not the doctors at the MEPS. Doctors at the MEPS have heard it all and won't really care that you can't find the documentation. If there are any sort of scars that look like a surgery took place they're probably going to want documentation. Best of luck but try not to give the impression that you are being deceptive about anything. That can get you disqualified as well.

Also, as I think I said before... but I may have missed this.... They are being really really picky about drug stuff these days... if there is anything that might show up in your system, tell your recruiter and have your MEPS trip delayed... You do NOT want to pop at MEPS.

The practice test predicts your AFQT which is based on two math sections and two English sections. Your AFQT is what makes you eligible to join and, depending on your score, may entitle you to cash bonuses and such. Scoring over a 50 is like getting an A. If you're a good reader and have a good understanding of Algebra you should score much higher. The other sections determine individual "line scores" which indicate your aptitude in different areas. The test in general should be very easy for a well rounded and intelligent person. If you aren't good in a particular area of the test (not English or math), don't worry too much. Just means you may not qualify for some jobs that you might not be very good at anyway.

Oh, and if you go into this process with just one military occupation in mind you're selling yourself short. No matter what you think you know about the military, you don't know ****. Do yourself a service and look at all options available to you. The guidance counselor's are just another layer of recruiters. They have goals to fill themselves, which is going to be the needs of the service. There is often much more available than what they initially show you. Having said that, they don't withhold stuff from you. If a particular job comes with a bonus and you are eligible for it, you're going to get it.

Just make sure you check your paperwork carefully. Some of my duties of the last few years have been helping soldiers with receiving their bonuses and such. I have seen a couple of examples where soldiers thought they had bonuses and then were not entitled to them. One, a soldier's contract stated he got a bonus but didn't specify the amount or cite the reference. Reviewing bonus messages, I could not find one that covered the time period he came in. Another, a soldier was promised a bonus when he signed into the Delayed Entry Program. Problem is when you report back to ship out, you redo some of that paperwork. A subsequent and superseding form is completed where no bonus was authorized. Another case I saw was a young lady who was guaranteed the student loan repayment program but the Army wouldn't pay. A couple minutes of research showed me that her type of student loan was clearly ineligible for the program. I have to hope that these are all cases of human error but that may be a bit optimistic.

Yea, no drugs in a while. So I'm clean on that subject! haha.

What about prescription drugs though? I've taken some of those recently that were not mine ... But nothing illegal!


My parents actually made copies of all the paper work from when I was a child ... I'm sifting through piles of crap right now trying to find something from last time I saw him where he said my leg was fully healed and all well and strong.

Yea, my recruiter was really encouraging me to just go in and do something that can get me in the fastest, that way I can see what everything is like and decide to change later on.

If it's nothing that will pop on your testing, you never did it...

Jon'C: Internets Expert! You have no idea what the **** you're talking about. Leave Tibby alone. At least he's trying to do something with his life. Did you even finish high school?

You may very well want to change later on. If you reenlist, the first time you do so will be the most options they will offer you except your initial enlistment. In the Army your going to get your job guaranteed. On top of that you may be able to select your first duty assignment or a school such as Airborne. Incentives such as bonuses may also be attached. You may be entitled to various bonuses for different criteria and they can be added to one another.

I do, actually.
Good example of what I'm talking about: My best friend was a combat engineer. He tried to reenlist this year but they wouldn't take him unless he became a technician. He had a good service record, too.

I've heard the same story from other people.

Oh, about a decade ago. But even if I hadn't, some dude with a BMus has no business talking down to others about their education.

So any suggestions on stuff I should review up on for the full ASVAB?

I'll probably go back and review some math stuff, things I haven't attempted to do since I graduated in 2004. Because I always feel like an idiot when like a younger cousin will ask for my help or something and I'm like "duur" I used do fine in math, it's just I forget the damn way to do things. I can calculate +-/* in my head better than 99% I know, but I'll be damned if I remember how to solve some complex equation, even if it only consists of small prime numbers.


Like I just looked at a preview question and it asked me what meiosis was. WTF.