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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → I think I dated a lesbian: Discuss
12
I think I dated a lesbian: Discuss
2011-05-24, 2:12 PM #1
So, I dated this girl back in HS for a few months, and then she broke up with me because she just wasn't really into it. Smart guy, kind of shy, seemed liked your average girl from a small town.

Now word on the street is that she is a lesbian. What? Why did she date me? How? Wait..I'm so confused

Discuss
2011-05-24, 2:22 PM #2
Yes, because sexuality is always so clear-cut, especially at that age. This really baffles you?
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2011-05-24, 2:23 PM #3
Also... some people are bi. Some are experimental. It doesn't really mean anything.
TheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWho
SaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTh
eJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSa
ysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJ
kWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSays
NiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkW
2011-05-24, 2:34 PM #4
She might not have been a lesbian at the time, she might be now, or she might be bi... or maybe you shouldn't listen to rumours.
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2011-05-24, 2:38 PM #5
So I'm going on a limb here and guessing you didn't hit that? Or you did, and now she is lesbian?
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2011-05-24, 2:41 PM #6
I didn't hit that, I just don't understand how someone can live 18 years and still not realize what they are into, didn't know it was such a long process.

Maybe she did know, I was her cover-story maybe
2011-05-24, 2:49 PM #7
Originally posted by Couchman:
I didn't hit that, I just don't understand how someone can live 18 years and still not realize what they are into, didn't know it was such a long process.

Maybe she did know, I was her cover-story maybe


Well keep in mind for the first, say, 12 years of her life she was busy drooling and learning that her hand doesn't belong in her mouth.
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2011-05-24, 2:59 PM #8
are you feminine?
2011-05-24, 3:06 PM #9
Originally posted by Freelancer:
Yes, because sexuality is always so clear-cut, especially at that age. This really baffles you?


This.
I tried dating a guy in HS also, actually. It only took me a few days though to get over the idea.

The alternate theory is that you just have a knack of turning women off of men for life.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
2011-05-24, 3:20 PM #10
This thread makes me think of this clip of the Clerks cartoon.
Sorry, don't know how to play this video :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2GWJC5N3Tw
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2011-05-24, 3:52 PM #11
She simply didn't choose the way of sin until when she did. It's a classic example of rebelling against God, let's just hope it doesn't lead her all the way to Hell where making out with other lesbians will be a lot less comfortable what with being distracted by the eternal torment and everything.
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2011-05-24, 3:57 PM #12
TheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWho
SaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTh
eJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSa
ysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJ
kWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSays
NiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkWhoSaysNiTheJkW
2011-05-24, 4:34 PM #13
Ni has just defined my life...thank you sir
2011-05-24, 6:36 PM #14
I'm proud of my life and the things that I have done, proud of myself and the loner I've become.
2011-05-24, 6:39 PM #15
This has happened to me where I've found out a gal I dated went for the ladies. It happens
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2011-05-24, 7:03 PM #16
Sorry, don't know how to play this video :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG0xxy30H3s

Girls dating girls is hot. Good job turning her, bro.
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2011-05-24, 7:50 PM #17
i've dated at least one who i know is a lesbian now...
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2011-05-24, 8:57 PM #18
Never dated a lesbian, I've made out with one once because her girlfriend thought it was 'hot' somehow. Didn't get it but was not even about to complain.
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2011-05-24, 11:45 PM #19
Originally posted by Couchman:
I didn't hit that, I just don't understand how someone can live 18 years and still not realize what they are into, didn't know it was such a long process.


It's known to take twice as long as that for some people. They have a marriage and kids and everything before thye finall click onto to the fact that they've been living in denial.
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2011-05-25, 12:16 AM #20
I think I lost my virginity to a lesbian. She was a volunteer fire fighter then. Lost contact with her after we no longer worked together. A while back I searched for her fb...drives trucks for the army. She does have a kid now but I swear shes a lesbo. Huge blonde bush too. But cute other than that
2011-05-25, 5:07 AM #21
Quite tempting to repost my lesbian story...
2011-05-25, 5:25 AM #22
If i ever dated a lesbian, she would become straight again... ;)

[/unwarranted arrogance]
2011-05-25, 7:24 AM #23
Originally posted by Couchman:
So, I dated this girl back in HS for a few months, and then she broke up with me because she just wasn't really into it. Smart guy, kind of shy, seemed liked your average girl from a small town.

Now word on the street is that she is a lesbian. What? Why did she date me? How? Wait..I'm so confused

Discuss


I think the answer to your question lies in your original post.
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2011-05-25, 7:45 AM #24
Originally posted by Veger:
I think the answer to your question lies in your original post.


HAHAHA I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT TYPO THATS SOOOO AWESOME HAHAHA
2011-05-25, 8:01 AM #25
My ex dates transexuals and calls herself a queer. Yeah.
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2011-05-25, 8:09 AM #26
^ Complicated stuff, that.
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2011-05-25, 8:16 AM #27
Originally posted by Couchman:
HAHAHA I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT TYPO THATS SOOOO AWESOME HAHAHA


Wait so you're starting another one of your ignorant threads and then getting upset someone made a joke about a typo?
[01:52] <~Nikumubeki> Because it's MBEGGAR BEGS LIKE A BEGONI.
2011-05-25, 12:28 PM #28
Guys I think Couchman is named that because he never leaves the couch lol.
"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."
2011-05-25, 7:51 PM #29
Originally posted by JediKirby:
My ex dates transexuals and calls herself a queer. Yeah.


Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't figure out the point/meaning of this statement.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
2011-05-25, 7:51 PM #30
Originally posted by mb:
Wait so you're starting another one of your ignorant threads and then getting upset someone made a joke about a typo?


How did I get upset? I'm not upset at all, I thought it was funny that my subconscious wrote that when I was typing the thread.
2011-05-25, 8:03 PM #31
the amount of sarcasm used made you appear upset.
[01:52] <~Nikumubeki> Because it's MBEGGAR BEGS LIKE A BEGONI.
2011-05-25, 8:18 PM #32
Originally posted by Dormouse:
Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't figure out the point/meaning of this statement.


I think he's trying to relate to the OP.

Either his ex is dating a lady who became a guy, and calls herself queer because genetically the guy is still a lady

-or-

his ex is dating a guy who became a lady and calls herself a queer because she's dating someone who is, for all intents and purposes, a female.

Seems relevant to me.
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2011-05-25, 8:52 PM #33
@Roger: Yeah that's about the formulations I came up with also, and it seemed potentially disingenuous either way.

I suppose a lot of it comes down to how the people she dates identify personally, ie as transgender/genderqueer/non-binary/&c or as something binary.

  1. I'd reckon how one identifies (ie queer in this case) is how they identify/express and how they're attracted, not that they're "queer" because of who they date.
  2. In the case of example A, if the guy she's dating identifies as a heteronormative male, calling herself queer since she's dating him is a completely dick move since it invalidates his identity as though it were societally different than dating a cisgendered/assigned-at-birth male.
  3. In the case of example B, if she lady she's dating identifies as female, then she could feasibly identify as queer for being attracted to a woman, not for dating someone trans (see item 2).

I probably put too much thought into this.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
2011-05-26, 6:20 AM #34
Definitely with you on point 1 there, dor. Pretty lame that people are so often defined by the individual they happen to be with at the time (assuming they're monogamous/have primary relationship). I find point 2 a bit harder to agree with, but that's probably just because I'm with someone who's really proud of his transness as does identify as different to a cis-man (hence it makes sense for me not to identify as straight). We both take issue with being labelled as straight when walking down the street, but ho-hum, not much that can be done there.

The impression I got from JK's statement ("transexuals") was that his ex intentionally goes for trans folk, in which case it sounds a bit like fetishism to me...

And I personally find Roger's first statement quite offensive... as explained by Dor.
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2011-05-26, 6:22 AM #35
also, "queer" very often encompasses far more than just sexuality - things like gender identity and attitudes towards love and relating to others etc.

ok, I've definitely thought too much about this!
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2011-05-26, 6:24 AM #36
Interestingly enough, she has dated both guys who want to be women, and girls that want to be guys. Personally I think she just likes dating on the fringe and being seen as unique and in-tune with herself when she isn't at all, hence dating a midget.
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2011-05-26, 6:45 AM #37
Originally posted by Martyn:
Quite tempting to repost my lesbian story...

DO IT. :D
nope.
2011-05-26, 7:13 AM #38
Originally posted by maevie:
And I personally find Roger's first statement quite offensive... as explained by Dor.


The statement itself or the fact that someone had the audacity to say it?
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2011-05-26, 10:31 AM #39
I'm confused about why Couchman is confused by this.
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2011-05-26, 1:20 PM #40
Originally posted by maevie:
Definitely with you on point 1 there, dor. Pretty lame that people are so often defined by the individual they happen to be with at the time (assuming they're monogamous/have primary relationship). I find point 2 a bit harder to agree with, but that's probably just because I'm with someone who's really proud of his transness as does identify as different to a cis-man (hence it makes sense for me not to identify as straight). We both take issue with being labelled as straight when walking down the street, but ho-hum, not much that can be done there.

The impression I got from JK's statement ("transexuals") was that his ex intentionally goes for trans folk, in which case it sounds a bit like fetishism to me...

And I personally find Roger's first statement quite offensive... as explained by Dor.


Re point 2, absolutely! Hence making the heteronormative qualifier coming from the binary that Roger presented and the caveat that how offensive I found her labeling depended on how the people she dated identified (eg as trans or not).

As to the fetishism from cis folk, yeah, they're enough of an establishment that they've got a label in the trans community as "chasers".

Quote:
also, "queer" very often encompasses far more than just sexuality - things like gender identity and attitudes towards love and relating to others etc.

Yeah this is a better explanation than my first bullet, but is what I was going for also. Ie I'm queer even when I'm not in bed with someone.

Originally posted by JediKirby:
Interestingly enough, she has dated both guys who want to be women, and girls that want to be guys. Personally I think she just likes dating on the fringe and being seen as unique and in-tune with herself when she isn't at all, hence dating a midget.


Bitter much? Given how completely ignorant you seem to be on the subject matter, I'm pretty dubious about your understanding of her motivations. Trans folk aren't really like an eXtreme Dating Benchmark.

Originally posted by Roger_Spruce:
The statement itself or the fact that someone had the audacity to say it?


Given that transphobia is still the overwhelming social norm, it's not exactly an audacious stance.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
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