You don't really know this person. None of my criticism has to do with transphobia and has far more to do with the inconsistency and attitude of the individual. We didn't even have a bad breakup or anything, it just became clear to me in the years after our relationship that she dates out of novelty and individuality, as evident by how she announces her relationships based on the label, for example: "now I'm dating a transgirl!" instead of something like the person's name.

Granted. That doesn't change your basic premise that trans folk are "x who want to be y" or such though, which was my main objection. Shrug. Carry on.

MY LESBIAN STORY. Because I'm going away for a weekend, so thought I'd leave you all something semi-relevant to titter at.


At university I was in an improvised comedy society. We did "Whose Line" style gigs throughout the year. At the start of my final year of uni we got a fresh intake of youth into the group. In my role as social secretary I organised a night out for everyone to get acquainted with one another.

So we went to some bars, did some shots, played some very distasteful drinking games and generally got wrecked.

We get to Durham's crappiest nightclub, and the young quiet girl with the disproportionately massive boobies for her slender frame throws herself at me and sticks her tongue down my throat. Needless to say this caught me off guard - I'd just come out of a relationship that went down like the friggin' Hindenburg and was too busy making sure everyone was having a laugh to really be paying attention to 18 year-olds giving me the eye.

So, one thing leads to another - well, actually she takes me by the hand and leads me out of the club and says quite matter of factly: "your place or mine then?"

Well as a fourth year I've chosen to live in cheapsville miles out of town in a nice house, not in the centre of town with all the noise and squalor so I say "I take it you're in a college? Let's go to yours: it can only be closer". (I knew she was a fresher, and they all live in digs in their first years)

So, arm in arm we strike a quick pace back to her place, which turns out to be St Mary's College.

At this point in the story I should probably expand upon some salient points that were in plain sight to me, but I was too drunk to notice:

(1) This girl had rather short hair
(2) This girl also seemed to be quite fond of berets
(3) Her taste in fashion was ... well it was quite "boyish" if you know what I mean

Now these facts alone can denote nothing other than a bit of tomboyism, and I hadn't given them a second thought, in fact I'd barely registered them - let's face it, she was pretty much dragging me to bed so I was just making sure I put one foot in front of the other until she'd led me there. The reason that these facts should have rung alarm bells in my mind is that St Mary's College was at that time an all girls college.

Now let me dispel a common myth. Despite this being the only all girls college in the uni did not mean it was literally attended only by those girls who like other girls, it took a large portion of girls who were rejected from other colleges, and a lot who didn't bother to specify a preference. Not that those facts stopped most people from generally believing that it was "lesbian city".

However.

It can be said that via observational evidence from friends I had who attended Mary's that there was a larger proportion of lesbians per female college member than most if not all colleges.

So.

I have a tomboyish girl leading me back to "lesbian city" and I don't bat an eyelid. None of these things cross my mind at all. In fact the only thing that crosses my mind is "woohoo! I can cross Mary's off the list of places I've woken up".

Anyway, I shall gloss over the gory details of what happened once we got back to her room, although I will tell you she said "bloody hell you've done that before!" or words to that effect...

Skip to next morning - I wake up in a cold damp room (Mary's was in a shabby state as it happens) next to a girl whose name I just couldn't remember despite my best efforts so I start to glance around the floor for clues (folders, essays, anything that might give me her name) and I notice a pamphlet on her floor near her bed:

LGBT Society

So I pick up the pamphlet, roll over and ask the nameless girl:

"Oh, I take it you're 'B' then?" (as in bisexual)

"Well, I was 'L' until last night."


I high-fived myself in my mind.

Whoo whoo, now accepting boarding passes for the Man-train, nonstop from L-town to B-city!

B-City proper being much preferable to the Old section of town, named Old B-City or "OB City". If you manage to find your way down there you might never find your way back out.

I don't think that was my basic premise. I think I was saying that this specific person does certain things because she's an attention seeker, and not because she is a particular gender or sexuality.

You're right, it wasn't the basic premise of your argument or point, but it was part of your statement/explanation.

What? I don't even know what you think I said, anymore. I am not criticizing anything or anyone besides my ex for being an attention seeker. I didn't say anything about gender or gender affiliations. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think my first post was mistaken as something other than me identifying with the op's ex becoming gay. My ex uses the word queer to describe herself, was all I meant, not that this was a claim I disputed. My later criticism of her partners being novelty is unrelated to what her sexual identity actually is, or the mistaken implication that I don't think she's queer.

I apologize, I wasn't very clear. It was this quote that I was referring to, wherein I believe you miss the whole basis of transsexuality:


However, as to your first post, it was the way you tagged on "Yeah." at the end of the statement, which I read (apparently mistakenly) as very critical/skeptical/sarcastic/something along those lines:


So I probably misinterpreted your point as much as you did mine.

Yeah, I was only identifying with the potential drama of your ex being gay, nothing more. Also, I think you are mistaking my reference to specific people that wanted to change their sex to match their gender with the assumption that all trans people are transsexual.

Talk about reading too much into things, settle down there dor, jebus!

Fair enough. It may seem like splitting the hairs of a dead horse, but there is increasing evidence for a neurological basis for transsexuality, and given the incorrigibility of the brain as the root of developmental identity, I always reckon it's far more accurate (and less invalidating/offensive) to view it not as "girls who want to become guys and vice versa" but rather as guys/girls in fact from the beginning but who are assigned the incorrect sex at birth due to a very incongruent birth defect. That's all my point was with that, so now I'll stop beating my queer-drum and go get some work done now!

Wow, Martyn's story is GRAWESOME!

...if it's true.

Every word of it.

Chooga chooga chooga chooga, woo woo!

Damn you kirby!

Yeah, I don't think he's going on a weekend at all...:tinfoil: