I will.

I will as well, always remember, you DO have friends don't care what. Ignore all the idiots who don't care and all of that, just tell yourself "They won't get any farther in life then I will" Because probably, they are doing horrible in school. Study at home, read feel good books, watch feel good movies. For the books I also recomend Terry Goodkind... He's the Good kind of author (...Couldn't resist). I got the first book for christmas and it's better then any starwars or harry potter book that's out there. Always remember, you have friends. Massassi shouldn't lose people out of suicide. Take MaDa for example, it's been said before but he fought through his problems till the end. Not ONCE did he give up, and he kept telling himself he'd get through this. As it's been said before, you will come out a better person after this. Everyone does when they come out of a tragedy or a large hurdle in their lives. I have as well. Go see a better doctor. Phone up people you know, you always have more friends then you think you do. Don't worry about your girlfriend, she isn't worth anything if she's as cold hearted as that.

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<Glyde> but.. you can't pick pickled peppers, even if a pickled pepper picker could pick pickled peppers!

Things just got worse, I managed to almost break my leg by falling off the stairs. My entire left leg is hurting like hell now.

And Glyde - I hate feel-good movies and/or books, I've hated them since I first saw one.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

Do you live in the United States? If so you might consider going someplace like the Mayo Clinic where they specialize in diagnosing all sorts of things like this. Apparently they also have teams of doctors that diagnose you, and you only have to pay what your family is able to afford. I'm sure it would be worth a try.

Never.

I'm Dutch, anyway.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

This is just an honest suggestion from me; I hope you can find something to use from it:

I’ve been immobilized (or at least significantly reduced mobility) before, and I know well that being confined to a bed/room/house/doctor's office can really start to chew up your mind. Do you have or have you considered a wheelchair, even if you don’t really need it? Last I checked you can get/rent/borrow them really cheap, and often free. It takes a while to get used to being wheeled around even when you can walk somewhat but the extra mobility is worth it, and it lets you move around without getting nearly as drained leaving you more energy to do what you want, and more importantly to fight to get better! Also just getting chance to go places, see things you have not seen in a while can be very refreshing.


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"Well, if I am not drunk, I am mad, but I trust I can behave like a gentleman in either
condition."... G. K. Chesterton

“questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself”

Even though that sounds like something very helpful, it'd make me feel and look very helpless.. I'm not too sure about that one, but I'm not sure about anything right now.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

please dont do suicide ive only been here for a mounth now but i dont think you should kick the bucket your cool and when i come here i look for new stuff from YOU because you rock so plz get better and promise me and all of massassi and you family amd
friends.that you wont go do that plz get better.

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janitor bobs idea of rogers video: He's actually the overweight guy next door who has a HUGE selection of videos, including the entire Lethal Weapon, Halloween, and 'Ernest' series.
The advantage is is that you can 'borrow' movies for long amounts of time without him remembering that you borrowed them.

The disadvantage is the pizza cheese grime on the DVDs

i meant shouldnt kick the bucket sry but i am a terrible typer.p.s get better!!!

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janitor bobs idea of rogers video: He's actually the overweight guy next door who has a HUGE selection of videos, including the entire Lethal Weapon, Halloween, and 'Ernest' series.
The advantage is is that you can 'borrow' movies for long amounts of time without him remembering that you borrowed them.

The disadvantage is the pizza cheese grime on the DVDs

Who cares about your old friends? You're better than they are, you shouldn't let crap they say affect you. Letting it get to you is exactly what they want, and exactly why you shouldn't let it happen.

Oh, and don't act like you're boned for good. You wouldn't have posted here unless you were looking for help, and you're looking for help because you want to get better. You can deny it, but you know it's true.

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

[This message has been edited by Emon (edited January 03, 2004).]

I posted here, because Thrawn42689 asked me to do so. And those "old friends", they were what I based my life on.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

So? Start a new life that doesn't depend on other people.

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

Being occupied can take your mind off the pain, like drawing.

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
----@%

in our public schools, if you become sick to the point you are homebound, the school will provide a home tutor during the hours of school. have your parrents check for a program like this.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.

I already did, but there isn't a possibility for that.

Emon, friendship is about everything to me. I've always relied on my friends when times got rough.If I'd build up a new life without friends, that'd be incredibly hard for me.

Echo, I draw a lot, but it doesn't help a thing.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

If there is one thing you ever listen to from me, let it be this:

DON'T GIVE UP! Even though life is hell for you right now, there is no reason why you have to give up. Feel free to hate the circumstances--your anger can give you the strength to defy it and pull through it. Life wants to bring you down-- shake your fist at it in defiance rather than submitting to it.

And about your GF-- you probably already know what I'm going to tell you on that one.


Also, quit listening to depressing music-- your life is already bad enough.

Here's some stuff I recommend:

Rob Zombie-- Never Gonna Stop
Whitesnake-- Here I go again (currently my theme song)

Bon Jovi-- Wanted Dead or alive

Queen: I want it all


[edit]

one more thing-- Why do you base your happiness on other people? You're more or less putting yourself at their mercy when yo udo this. You should instead base your happiness on something you can control, like yourself.


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Most people regard me as the dark and immoral side of Massassi. At least I'm getting what I want out of life.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited January 04, 2004).]

You should try your best with interacting with people (internet or in your life). Shutting yourself off from the world can lead to some depressing qualities. Talking can be healing...in a way.

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
----@%

Of course. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise. I meant to get new friends.

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

Then start here. We're your friends, and I can guarentee that every one of us would be willing to help, or at least talk to you when times get rough. If you're unsure of anything else, be sure of that. e-mail or IM me anytime and I'll be willing to talk, and I am 100% positive that everyone else here will be too. Remember it's the tough times that make us who we are, and you will come out of this stronger. You hae too much to live for and too much left to do to give up now. We're all here for you, and soon you'll get friends in "real life" who are willing to help.

You can make it through this. Just hang on.


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If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

Hey man, it sounds rough. I, myself, am in a kind of similiar situation. Ok, maybe it's not so similiar, but let me explain;

I've been diagnosed with a fairly advanced neurological disease. It affects my entire nervous-system, causing me extreme duress caused by some of the following:
-Tremors (full body, pretty much anything that is a muscle)
-Failed equilibrium (this means I fall over quite easily, simply looking up is dangerous)
-Insomnia. I've dealt with this problem the longest, averaging 8-10 hours of sleep a week, with occasional periods of longer rest.

The fact is, I can't get rid of this disease. By the time I'm 40, I'll be drinkinig out of a straw. By my late 40's, I'll be pretty much 100% incapacitated. The real kicker is that they don't know what it is at all, and they can't fix it. So I'm living the best I can with my problems, and abbreviated life-span. But it's not all that bad. I've found someone who understands, and is willing to accept that I'm living at a slightly faster pace than normal.

What I'm saying is that you're not alone in having a rough life, but that doesn't mean ending it will make things better. Just remember that you've much to gain from sticking it out, even if it means you have to face death the entire time.

Good luck, I hope you reconsider.

I've been a member here for sometime, but somewhat of a lurker. I rarely post so I don't know you well. But I feel I should give my advice.

Your friends suck, it would seem. But you have dozens of people right here at Massassi who do care. People who will talk to you, and who do care. Don't under estimate friends on the net. Internet friends have got me through some of the hardest times.

As for medical advise. If your doctor can't tell you what's wrong, then talk to someone else. Call every doctor in the country if you have to until someone can give you answers. If you are having problems with mobility (as much as I'm sure you don't want to hear this) stay in bed. Stay away from stairs if you are falling down them. Get someone to help you down them when you have to.

You can catch up in school when you are better. Don't worry about that.

Just don't give up on yourself. You can kick this illness's *** , and you should be concentrating on that. Show it that you are stronger than it.

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--Hinch
Terry Hinch's Web Comic
All opinions expressed by Hinch are the explicit views of Hinch, and only Hinch and his 7 other personalities. In the event that said personalities are in dispute, the majority shall prevail. All opinions are held in perpetuity of the present, past, and future throughout this universe, mirror universes, and all multi-verses, including alternate time lines.

How the hell do you guys always manage to make me cry?

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

[This message has been edited by gothicX (edited January 05, 2004).]

Is that the good kind or the bad kind of crying...?

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

Every kind of crying is good, if you think about it..

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Have a good one,
Freelancer

The "What the hell" type of crying, mainly. It's been a long while since I've actually felt that somebody cared about me.

Even though I'm crying from pain right now, long live fysiotherapy.

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

Grief. It is an ill fortune that has befallen you. Yet to me it seems you are fighting it with spirit. I see you have preserved your sense of humour, which is, in the end, such a vital part of a human nature, that I deem you are still strong in your struggles.

This thread has, at the very least, shown that you still have people who care for your success or misfortunes. And what is more, here are people who admire your achievements, and are always looking for more from you.

For sure friends here are not the same as those with whom you used to go to watch movies or blow New Year fireworks, but thus it is often with growing up - at some point you leave the school and go on with life, and old friends are left behind, only to be replaced by new ones from work or hobbies.

I can only say that I have enjoyed the conversations we have had, and would like them to continue. You have understood well my ironic humour (hopefully, eh). I have learned much from your expert mapping skills. And the Map-Review Aircraft Carrier wouldn't be the same without you in the crew.

I'm confident you will win your fight and be back at business, as furious as ever.

-lassev

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This day we fight

Play computer games. A good shoot'em up would null pain.

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Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true. So I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' 'em all back.

or level edit...but level editing can painful..

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
----@%

[This message has been edited by Echoman (edited January 05, 2004).]

If you wanna chat to me on MSN or anything that'd be cool, my email's on my profile.

What you should realise about your old friends and your ex-girlfriend is that they're not against you. They are NOT against you. People on here might be saying that they're bad people and they're trying to bring you down but they're not bad people, they just don't understand what it is that you're going through and would rather not get involved. The way they see it it's their own life and they'll live it.
You have to do the same thing. There's no need to be angry with yourself or with your old friends; if you have the energy and the time you should just give a couple of them a quick call to let them know how you're doing and what's wrong. You may think they've deserted you but if you give them a direction they'll probably help you out. Invite one of your friends over for dinner or something and he'll come; they don't hate you, they just don't understand.

People will find it very difficult to help you if you don't help them to do it.

We will always be here for you, we're all over the world so you can most likely find someone on here you know at any time, day or night.

Oh and Terry Goodkind books aren't feel-good books Here's the blurb for the first book:

"One man, Richard Cypher, holds the key to the fate of three nations, of mankind. But until he learns the Wizard's First Rule his chances of succeeding in his task are slim. And his biggest problem is admitting that magic exists at all..."

In fairness that blurb has awful grammar and isn't really at all to do with the story, but it is really good!

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tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"

One thing that I have learned is this: when live throws a storm at you, don't throw what's good overboard. This may apply to you, I don't know. But so often in life we hit hard times and we do stupid things: we drop our friends, we hate our family, we push everything away thats good. Stop and realize that these are the only things worth it, and just because you've got something bad going on is no reason to dump whats left of the good.

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Ω of 14
Half-Life 2 Central: your definitive source for everything HL2!

Lasse: Woah. Just.. woah. You've actually went through the trouble of registering here (Which doesn't go to well with a behind in your name) just to post that? You can't possibly understand how much that ment to me.

Tony: Maybe when I can walk and buy one.

Echoman: I'm finishing off an FFA map, and then I either take a break or just stop, I need to focus on other things.

JC: it's a bit more complicated than that, they've been spreading rumors that I'm not actually sick, but joined a satanist cult of some sort. I don't know what the hell is wrong with them, but I now figured they need the help more than I do.

Brad: Kinda hard when your parents kick you out, so you have to spend a night on the streets at -2 Celcius.



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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

Lassev lives in Finland. It might be someone you know who signed on to say that. Probably not..

Anyway, are you looking foward to something in life other than recovery?

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
----@%

heh, I know Lasse alright. You should do so too.

And there isn't much I'm looking forward too. I was looking forward to the Korn concert I've got a VIP ticket for, but if I can't even walk, I'm not going there allright..

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Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

One of the worst weeks of my life, a fried of mine lent me a book and it took me a while to pick it up and read it, but I spent all that night reading it. Honestly, I guess getting involved in someone else's life and problems helos forget about my own problems. For some reason, I really felt better after reading. That and throwing myself into my singing (or any hobby or passion, writing and drawing works too) and talking about it.

Meh, maybe it just worked for me, but give it a try. and my e-mail (slash msn messenger) is in my proifle, or on AIM: brdwaywannabe05

we're rooting for you. hope you get well soon

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If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

SREW LOOKING HELPLESS, get your self a weelchair and go to that concert!!! Have someone carry you on their sholders if you have to! Seriously, I can think of no good reason not to go to concert for a band you love with a VIP ticked you allready have!


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"Well, if I am not drunk, I am mad, but I trust I can behave like a gentleman in either
condition."... G. K. Chesterton

“questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself”

absolutley


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300 years as jedi master i was, now i bloody night-lite

Do it. Joke about it, have fun, get your friends to help you. You DO have real friends, and those are the ones that will help you no matter what you look like or what it makes them look like.

You know you can get through it, and we do to. I never really got to know you that much, but I know enough to know that this is something you can take on and defeat.

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saberopus
oh yeh wlel i jsut gots finesht wiht my morrwoind mod for teh JO An it takes up teh 900 gigabiets of spaec but i wlil not sowh yuo gyz teh scrnshoots becasue we dunat kare wut u gyz tihnk ne1 no wear i kan get ti hostad 4 dounlowd!!!!11!111 --Checksum

Lets assume you don't kill yourself. You are in terrible pain for two years, and you get better and go on to college. You then live for 70 years. A LIFETIME to be happy. Two years of pain, you will be able to remember in less than a second, and you'll be glad as hell you got through it when your all done with it. High School isn't anything special anyway.

It'll be over in good time, you'll just need to be patient.

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To myself I surrender to the one I'll never please.
But I still try to run on.
You know I still try to run on. But it's all or none.

Eddie Vedder

And think, if in the future someone you care about is in a situation you are in now, your experience could be the deciding factor for their life and all those affected by that person.

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Bassoon, n. A brazen instrument into which a fool blows out his brains.

Seriously, I really dont know you, or for that matter any Massassian that well other than the occasional post since I rarely if ever go into the chat rooms, but it would be a tragedy if you just gave up and went through with this. I'd miss your posts, your weird retorts and everything. I miss playing JK with MaDa, ha, I think I played with him a maximum of 5 times but I remember it and it was fun.

And really, friends are an awesome thing to have and dont let anyone downplay their importance in one's life, but in the end you're the one living.

You'd probably hate it, but I'd recommend the song See You Soon by Coldplay. Just a real melancholy song about losing friends and watching them from a distance and stuff, or at least that's my interpretation.



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