Wow, good to see this site is still going. I remember back in the day people would post about girl problems, but I never was able to do one on my own... now I can. So below is a long story for your enjoyment.
--THE GIRL WITH THE INTRIGUING QUIRKINESS--
So I started talking to this (slightly older) girl on a dating site back in September. I remember not thinking much of her other than probably friendship material. She was quirky, fun, and we shared some common ground. The latter was really nice because the last person I was with... we had none of that (yeah not making that mistake of only going for super hot looks again). What's interesting about this girl was that she came off as a super confident person online, but apparently she isn't offline. Nevertheless, I liked the fact that she kind of already established base that she wanted to meet and do things with me.
Eventually she left the site(as did I) and we traded numbers at the end of the month. We started texting each other, and it was nice. I don't really have many people to text (or talk to for that matter) so it was mostly her. Again, her confidence was surprising because she directly stated that she thought I was cute, found my facial structure attractive, and complimented me on my body. Weirdest thing was her texting "Sweet dreams, love" on the first night I texted her. I thought she was one of those "nickname using" types, but she never use them with me again.
I did notice that one day she was very curt and short with her text messages like something was bothering her. It certainly will reemerge in the future...
--SHENIGANS WITH MEETING SOMEONE ONLINE--
So I went on my first date with her on 9/28. It was kind of an awkward first meeting.... I walked right past her not noticing who she was until she called me out. Truth of the matter was that when I initially saw her, I was like "Wow, that girl's cute" (even though I'm not a fan of her dredds) and continued on my way then realized "Is she noticing me" from my peripheral vision. Anyhow, there was an awkward silence as we stood in front of each other before we head inside. I thought about hugging or shaking her hand to greet her, but I felt embarrassed so told her to head inside.
During our dinner, I could sense that she was shy. That online confidence was certainly not there, but she gradually became more comfortable and relaxed throughout the night. I took care of the check because I told her she was the first person who I have ever met from the Internet. We talked after dinner for like 45 minutes before we left for the night. I remember her standing there awkwardly after we said our goodbyes until I told her to come over and we hugged. She was quick to suggest that we meet again at her place when I asked that maybe we'll do this again some time.
We continued texting each other until the next week. She was open with what she's up to for the most part. Still there was a day or two where she was very curt and short with messages, giving off this vibe like she's bothered by something.
--IF YOU SERVE FROZEN PIZZA ON A SECOND DATE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME--
10/6, I met her at her place. It was.... disappointing. She was unprepared. The place was a mess. She didn't exactly made anything other than frozen pizza. I also forgotten that she smokes (usually a deal killer for me) from the ash tray I saw in her room. To top it off, she fell asleep right next to me on her bed, while we were watching a show. Oh and I ended up chasing her cat in front of her house when I left.
I almost didn't want to date her again after this. But when I think about it, I realized that the experience wasn't too bad mostly because I was still able to spend time with her. She was much more relaxed - much more talkative and was in touching distance when she fell asleep. I decided a first date was needed to be more conclusive on where this will go with her.
I hand-wrote a letter to her before I left. Nothing big, just wishing her a good night and thanking her for dinner (even though it was subpar). Surprisingly she kept it longer than I thought, asking me the next day if I was left-handed due to my handwriting.
--FLIRTEXTING--
So days past and we resumed our texting. We flirted a bit with each other. On a night where she had trouble sleeping, I teased her that maybe she needed a certain someone to lay right beside her and she went "X3, that might help, lol." She also called me adorable some times and went "aww" when I said something like her being my favorite distraction.
Her mind also apparently went to the gutter a bit more. For instance, when she said she preferred "alternative methods of working out" and then realized "damned that sounded dirty, lol." Another time when she said she would teach me to drive stick, I mentioned "if I had a stick, I certainly would let you show me how to use it." I didn't realize the innuendo until she pointed it out and she had some fun with it.
--TELLING SOMEONE I CARE AND RUSTLED JIMMIES-
At this point, I didn't really made any plans to meet her because I wanted her to take the initiative for once. Yet she never did, so midway in October I noticed that she was having one of those days where she seemed bothered. At this point, I told her that I care about her well-being and don't see her as just someone to fool around with (not in that way!). She replies with "I'm not entirely certain how to respond to that :/".... WTF?
We resumed texting, but I was becoming aggravated with how she didn't seem to initiate plans for another meet despite her saying she wanted to see me again. I sent her a passive aggressive text and was blunt with her - I felt that the effort has been one sided and that it was hard to make plans with her sometimes because she didn't want to be bothered at times.
Guess she thought I was mad at her because she became a little bit more relaxed after I apologized. She resumed texting me (just to note she's phone phobic). I started talking about how I've been seeing this one blonde. She immediately kept on asking who it was even though I thought she would realize I was talking about her. Once I told her that she was the only girl I'm interested in. She went "*blush. I don't know what to say."
She's starting to have more days where she was bothered by something. But on other days, we were talking like the good old times. Things take quite a turn when 10/23 rolled along....
--NOT SURE IF I SHOULD TRY DATING, BUT I REALLY LIKE YOU--
One night I asked how she was doing and she responded with "same as usual." She went on to elaborate without giving any details except that it's "bad usually." I inquired why and she said "just personal stuff." All of a sudden she told me she doesn't think she should be dating and don't think the two of us will work out on the long term, but she "really likes me so it's weird." Moreover, she told me not to make her feel guilty for being honest and that she felt like an ass.
She told me she wanted to spend time with me once more and "say stuff in person if she still felt that way." She divulged that she really likes knowing me and will be sad if I don't want her to. I question why I wouldn't want to see her, and she told me most people don't want to see her if she's not interested in dating. I replied I still want to and she was happy.
--SHE'S STILL FEELING THE COLD.... MOSTLY WITH HER FEET--
We made plans earlier on seeing each other on 10/27. On the night before the 27th, I asked how much better she felt compared to the last time we talked (in reference to her health because of a cold earlier in the week) and she told me, "Different. I just don't want you to waste your time." I told her I was referring to her health and that I'm certainly not wasting time. She went "Aww."
Sunday came around and she mentioned, "I don't think today is good." Becoming aggravated, I told her I'm not going to ask "why," but will instead say that I'm free every night for the rest of the week. She responded saying she will shoot me a message when she "gets things settled."
Didn't get any messages so four days later I texted that I hope she was doing okay and that she was within my thoughts. She told me she was "so-so" and thanked me. Also told me that the month has been rough on her and she appreciated me. Surprisingly, she responded well when I told her I would hug her right now if I could.
--FROM HONESTY TO FRUSTRATION TO FRUSTRATED HONESTY--
I made some chit-chat with her yesterday. At the end of the night, I revealed to her that I felt like she has been trying to avoid me and have been more shy and reluctant lately. She replied telling me she wasn't avoiding me and said some of the things I say make her feel awkward.
I mentioned I felt like I'm possibly being played and whether or not she has been true to her words. She told me she will never be dishonest with me and wasn't playing around. Apparently she is trying to get to know me and figuring out how we interact together. However, she was uncertain about some things.
I told her I've been trying to figure things out as well and feel that a live meeting is best since things of this importance shouldn't be done over text. I once again stated that I can open up my schedule easily and it all depends on her, but professed that's where I feel uncertain.
--EPILOGUE: SHERLOCK HOLMES MODE ENGAGED--
The biggest question I'm pondering is what are these "personal issues" and "things" that need to be settled? I imagine that they're related to the days where she is bothered by something, but won't tell me. An ex she can't get over with? Another guy? Depression?
I recall seeing a picture of her draping her arms around a guy that was in her bedroom. Perhaps she was in a long term relationship with this guy, but he died in a car accident? I mention car accident because I do wonder what caused her to sell off her car five years ago and then moved completely in September. The love for scotch plus smoking, trouble with sleeping, inability to be open, social anxiety (though that has more to do with her childhood experiences from what I gathered), sleeping issues, feelings of loneliness despite seemingly having a lot of friends - can it all be related I wonder.
But yeah, I'm not really sure what to make of this girl or if I should bother caring about her. If anything, caring about her seemed like the wrong way to go about it in the first place despite how she has grown on me. A shame though because I really do feel like this girl may has potential. Besides, she introduced me to Attack on Titan.
tl;dr: I gone out with a girl twice, but a few weeks after she's a lot more distant, shy, bothered, and reticent. I like this girl, but at the same time am frustrated and not sure if I should even continue to bother.
--THE GIRL WITH THE INTRIGUING QUIRKINESS--
So I started talking to this (slightly older) girl on a dating site back in September. I remember not thinking much of her other than probably friendship material. She was quirky, fun, and we shared some common ground. The latter was really nice because the last person I was with... we had none of that (yeah not making that mistake of only going for super hot looks again). What's interesting about this girl was that she came off as a super confident person online, but apparently she isn't offline. Nevertheless, I liked the fact that she kind of already established base that she wanted to meet and do things with me.
Eventually she left the site(as did I) and we traded numbers at the end of the month. We started texting each other, and it was nice. I don't really have many people to text (or talk to for that matter) so it was mostly her. Again, her confidence was surprising because she directly stated that she thought I was cute, found my facial structure attractive, and complimented me on my body. Weirdest thing was her texting "Sweet dreams, love" on the first night I texted her. I thought she was one of those "nickname using" types, but she never use them with me again.
I did notice that one day she was very curt and short with her text messages like something was bothering her. It certainly will reemerge in the future...
--SHENIGANS WITH MEETING SOMEONE ONLINE--
So I went on my first date with her on 9/28. It was kind of an awkward first meeting.... I walked right past her not noticing who she was until she called me out. Truth of the matter was that when I initially saw her, I was like "Wow, that girl's cute" (even though I'm not a fan of her dredds) and continued on my way then realized "Is she noticing me" from my peripheral vision. Anyhow, there was an awkward silence as we stood in front of each other before we head inside. I thought about hugging or shaking her hand to greet her, but I felt embarrassed so told her to head inside.
During our dinner, I could sense that she was shy. That online confidence was certainly not there, but she gradually became more comfortable and relaxed throughout the night. I took care of the check because I told her she was the first person who I have ever met from the Internet. We talked after dinner for like 45 minutes before we left for the night. I remember her standing there awkwardly after we said our goodbyes until I told her to come over and we hugged. She was quick to suggest that we meet again at her place when I asked that maybe we'll do this again some time.
We continued texting each other until the next week. She was open with what she's up to for the most part. Still there was a day or two where she was very curt and short with messages, giving off this vibe like she's bothered by something.
--IF YOU SERVE FROZEN PIZZA ON A SECOND DATE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME--
10/6, I met her at her place. It was.... disappointing. She was unprepared. The place was a mess. She didn't exactly made anything other than frozen pizza. I also forgotten that she smokes (usually a deal killer for me) from the ash tray I saw in her room. To top it off, she fell asleep right next to me on her bed, while we were watching a show. Oh and I ended up chasing her cat in front of her house when I left.
I almost didn't want to date her again after this. But when I think about it, I realized that the experience wasn't too bad mostly because I was still able to spend time with her. She was much more relaxed - much more talkative and was in touching distance when she fell asleep. I decided a first date was needed to be more conclusive on where this will go with her.
I hand-wrote a letter to her before I left. Nothing big, just wishing her a good night and thanking her for dinner (even though it was subpar). Surprisingly she kept it longer than I thought, asking me the next day if I was left-handed due to my handwriting.
--FLIRTEXTING--
So days past and we resumed our texting. We flirted a bit with each other. On a night where she had trouble sleeping, I teased her that maybe she needed a certain someone to lay right beside her and she went "X3, that might help, lol." She also called me adorable some times and went "aww" when I said something like her being my favorite distraction.
Her mind also apparently went to the gutter a bit more. For instance, when she said she preferred "alternative methods of working out" and then realized "damned that sounded dirty, lol." Another time when she said she would teach me to drive stick, I mentioned "if I had a stick, I certainly would let you show me how to use it." I didn't realize the innuendo until she pointed it out and she had some fun with it.
--TELLING SOMEONE I CARE AND RUSTLED JIMMIES-
At this point, I didn't really made any plans to meet her because I wanted her to take the initiative for once. Yet she never did, so midway in October I noticed that she was having one of those days where she seemed bothered. At this point, I told her that I care about her well-being and don't see her as just someone to fool around with (not in that way!). She replies with "I'm not entirely certain how to respond to that :/".... WTF?
We resumed texting, but I was becoming aggravated with how she didn't seem to initiate plans for another meet despite her saying she wanted to see me again. I sent her a passive aggressive text and was blunt with her - I felt that the effort has been one sided and that it was hard to make plans with her sometimes because she didn't want to be bothered at times.
Guess she thought I was mad at her because she became a little bit more relaxed after I apologized. She resumed texting me (just to note she's phone phobic). I started talking about how I've been seeing this one blonde. She immediately kept on asking who it was even though I thought she would realize I was talking about her. Once I told her that she was the only girl I'm interested in. She went "*blush. I don't know what to say."
She's starting to have more days where she was bothered by something. But on other days, we were talking like the good old times. Things take quite a turn when 10/23 rolled along....
--NOT SURE IF I SHOULD TRY DATING, BUT I REALLY LIKE YOU--
One night I asked how she was doing and she responded with "same as usual." She went on to elaborate without giving any details except that it's "bad usually." I inquired why and she said "just personal stuff." All of a sudden she told me she doesn't think she should be dating and don't think the two of us will work out on the long term, but she "really likes me so it's weird." Moreover, she told me not to make her feel guilty for being honest and that she felt like an ass.
She told me she wanted to spend time with me once more and "say stuff in person if she still felt that way." She divulged that she really likes knowing me and will be sad if I don't want her to. I question why I wouldn't want to see her, and she told me most people don't want to see her if she's not interested in dating. I replied I still want to and she was happy.
--SHE'S STILL FEELING THE COLD.... MOSTLY WITH HER FEET--
We made plans earlier on seeing each other on 10/27. On the night before the 27th, I asked how much better she felt compared to the last time we talked (in reference to her health because of a cold earlier in the week) and she told me, "Different. I just don't want you to waste your time." I told her I was referring to her health and that I'm certainly not wasting time. She went "Aww."
Sunday came around and she mentioned, "I don't think today is good." Becoming aggravated, I told her I'm not going to ask "why," but will instead say that I'm free every night for the rest of the week. She responded saying she will shoot me a message when she "gets things settled."
Didn't get any messages so four days later I texted that I hope she was doing okay and that she was within my thoughts. She told me she was "so-so" and thanked me. Also told me that the month has been rough on her and she appreciated me. Surprisingly, she responded well when I told her I would hug her right now if I could.
--FROM HONESTY TO FRUSTRATION TO FRUSTRATED HONESTY--
I made some chit-chat with her yesterday. At the end of the night, I revealed to her that I felt like she has been trying to avoid me and have been more shy and reluctant lately. She replied telling me she wasn't avoiding me and said some of the things I say make her feel awkward.
I mentioned I felt like I'm possibly being played and whether or not she has been true to her words. She told me she will never be dishonest with me and wasn't playing around. Apparently she is trying to get to know me and figuring out how we interact together. However, she was uncertain about some things.
I told her I've been trying to figure things out as well and feel that a live meeting is best since things of this importance shouldn't be done over text. I once again stated that I can open up my schedule easily and it all depends on her, but professed that's where I feel uncertain.
--EPILOGUE: SHERLOCK HOLMES MODE ENGAGED--
The biggest question I'm pondering is what are these "personal issues" and "things" that need to be settled? I imagine that they're related to the days where she is bothered by something, but won't tell me. An ex she can't get over with? Another guy? Depression?
I recall seeing a picture of her draping her arms around a guy that was in her bedroom. Perhaps she was in a long term relationship with this guy, but he died in a car accident? I mention car accident because I do wonder what caused her to sell off her car five years ago and then moved completely in September. The love for scotch plus smoking, trouble with sleeping, inability to be open, social anxiety (though that has more to do with her childhood experiences from what I gathered), sleeping issues, feelings of loneliness despite seemingly having a lot of friends - can it all be related I wonder.
But yeah, I'm not really sure what to make of this girl or if I should bother caring about her. If anything, caring about her seemed like the wrong way to go about it in the first place despite how she has grown on me. A shame though because I really do feel like this girl may has potential. Besides, she introduced me to Attack on Titan.
tl;dr: I gone out with a girl twice, but a few weeks after she's a lot more distant, shy, bothered, and reticent. I like this girl, but at the same time am frustrated and not sure if I should even continue to bother.
lolololololololol