I agree, I think if I actually explain my ideal course plan, it would help.
The key to surfaces of revolution is the idea of arc length. We know the formula, it's given by the integral of √(1+(f'(x))^2) over x. Students can memorize that easily. But do they get why the formula makes sense?
**** no. There's an easy way to explain it, too, with infinitesimals. If we instead work with two new symbols: let ∆x represent some arbitrarily small value, which symbolizes only a change in distance along the x axis. Then we can find the change in y by plugging in a point x_0 and x_0+∆x. This gives us a small straight line between two points on a curve, given by two sets of coordinates: (x_0, f(x_0)) for the first, and (x_0+∆x, f(x_0+∆x)) for the second. If we let ∆ get really small, this line gets infinitely close to the curve. Thus, so will it's length. But what would the length be? That's given by a^2+b^c=c^2. How much you change on x with respect to x is given by ∆x/∆x=1, and for y with ∆f(x)/x, so for pythagoras' identity we substitute those in.
In other words, but cutting up the x-axis into arbitrarily small increments, we can infinitely closely approximate the distance along the curve. There's a strong geometric intuition to it, and I think teaching it this way would make it so clear why it works.
It would be possible to teach limits this way to start, then supplement it later with epsilon-delta proofs to make it rigorous.
Combining this strategy with volumes/surfaces of revolution makes each formula seem trivial, as well. How students seem to get by is trying each style and memorizing the formula. Because this arigorous intuition for WHY it works isn't there. A bit more of that, and a bit less of forcing students to memorize solutions for things they don't understand, would go a long way in calculus.
Also, I think "intuitive" is relative. You're brighter, so it's probably easier for you to see why they're so intuitive. Not all students are that way, and if the goal is to educate all students as well as possible instead of as diversely as possible, helping build strong intuition then covering it with rigorous understanding is IMO a preferred route.
Agreed, it would also help if students came from a background of mathematical reasoning.