*

Before Pagewizard chimes in with his charming advice, I'll give you my two cents.

I had your "problem" a few years ago. But just think: what have you really got to lose by just striking up a convrosation? Nothing, and once you get over that first bump, everything else is a breeze. Girls also (mostly) like a guy who is confident with himself.

And about the alcohol... do it sober, if you're tipsy, more likely than not, you'll make a complete jackass out of yourself, trust me.

About what to say: Just start out with simple questions like "Hey, do you live around here?" "Do you go to [insert school]" and probe around for common intrests. If the girl seems to not want to talk to you, then just move on, there's nothing lost, and there are always more fish in the sea.

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1 of 14 | 6-16 Never Forget. | Click.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Proceed from there. Ask if she goes to the same college, ask about her major, etc, etc.

a few suggestions;

Talk about the weather (unless you live somewhere where it's always sunny or just has generally boring repetitive weather - like england ).

Or ask her something like the time, or the good old cliche 'do I know you from somewhere?'.

Once you've broken the ice it should be easier to go on from there.



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When bread becomes toast, it can never go back to being bread again.

"Hey, I'm [insert name]"
"Do you go to college here?"
"Oh really? What are you majoring in?"

after that kind of stuff, it should be pretty easy to get a conversation going

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If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

Tell her you think she's hot and you really wanna bang her

Jk, do NOT do the above.

But yeah, I'd pretty much go with what everyone has said so far.. Girls love guys with confidence (in fact, a lot of girls get turned on by it), and find it a plus. If she seems interested, follow up with more conversation, if not, there's other girls out there. I'd just keep calm and remember..... ITS JUST A GIRL

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The future is here, and all bets are off.

Tried that... got banged on the head. (hehe jk)

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Mystic0 Editing Resources
Mystic0 Forum
The Massassi Post Count Summary(link works now)

There are a few things I can say here. First, concerning the confidence. To build up confidence(I mean permanent confidence, not temporary) do something to improve yourself(working out is the only one I can think of. Of course, there are other things out there I bet). After you have improved, you will begin to get more respect for yourself, increasing your confidence. For me, I work out. Not for muscle, or to impress the girls. I do it to be strong enough to hold my own in a fight but that's a different story. Anyway, I feel better about myself.

After this, meet people. Just meet more people, make more friends, and your confidence will improve. Approach more girls to get numbers or e-mails. You will be rejected some times. It's inevitable, so don't freak out about it. I'd give you some more advice concerning long-term confidence, but I would need to get a look at you.

Now, concerning this girl. I can already tell what your biggest problem is. When you, like many men(nerdy or otherwise), speak to a woman, you have this thing of wanting to get approval from her. That makes you look pathetic. When guys who "get it" approach a girl, they don't look for approval. They approve of , and they have friends who like them, and that's enough. When they approach a girl, they want to find out if they are worth THEIR approval.

You don't have to act like you need her approval. My theory: In fact, it is the males natural position to do the approving(though the girl can say yay or nay to guy). If it was the other way around, it would be the guys getting all prettied up and spending ungodly amounts of time on their outside and girls would be the ones just throwing on a shirt and a pair of pants and be satisfied with that.

If you get a conversation going with her, do not talk to her more than 20 minutes, if even that long. Talk to her a little(in which you do not demean yourself in any way, shape, or form. Even if you're just joking) and then grab her phone number of e-mail. If I were you, I'd get the e-mail. It allows you more time to make some kind of message and/or date without coming across as a wuss. It's harder to do on the phone. Also, when you are talking to her, tease her about her insecurities and mistakes. Not maliciously, but in a playful manner. And the most important thing to do is not to put her on a pedestal. She is not superior to you in any way. She may even be inferior.

I have more I could type, but I'm not going to waste my time because some of it is case-specific and I don't know the particulars about your situation. Feel free to give as much info as possible.

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I am the god of dating! You will respect my authoritah!

Not "a lot of girls". EVERY girl.

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I am the god of dating! You will respect my authoritah!

Don't walk up holding your crotch.

It may seem like common sense, but High School has given a whole new meaning to "spelling it out."

Blithing idiots.. (those who walk up to a girl holding their crotch..)

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

[edit- YES! TRIPLE POST! MY MANLYNESS IS NOW FAR GREATER THAN YOURS!!]

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

[This message has been edited by happydud (edited January 15, 2004).]

I am teh bombardman. Triple post. *flaunts, thrusts and grabs crotch*

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

[This message has been edited by happydud (edited January 15, 2004).]

[This message has been edited by happydud (edited January 15, 2004).]

Yeah, but not to extreme: being cocky and arrogant can turn a girl off (obiouvsly depending on the girl} I hear a lot of "He's okay, but he's so arrogant"

Anyway, not trying to start a debate before Page comes, I don't think you have to worry about appearing full of yourself. Most girls appreciate a guy having the guts to go up and strike up a conversation with them. If she doesn't, then try again. (remember: eye contact, not looking down at your shoes)

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If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

Also remember, eye contact means eye to EYE, not eye to boobs.

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

*blinks* **** it!

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I am the god of dating! You will respect my authoritah!

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited January 15, 2004).]

Um ... a girl is just a person, like everyone else. Just talk to her as you would normally ... talk about anything you'd talk to someone you're just meeting ... where she's from, what kind of stuff she likes ... just get to know each other better, and be in a lighthearted/playful mood ... you'll become good friends

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Sigs are for n00bs.

[1337 FRNDS_Pommy | 3.14 of 14 | » And-GTx2]
Half-Life 2 Central - your definitive source for everything HL2!

My advice: if you haven't talked to her before (which I gleaned from what you posted), don't get your hopes up. Kieran's right, you can't put her on a pedestal; you don't know her. Yet.

So don't worry too much beyond having a conversation. If you haven't talked to her yet, you're not going to be walking up and asking her for a date--that's the hard thing to do. You're just talking. Be casual. She's not going anywhere. If you've seen her before, you'll see her again.

Wow, it's Pommy

The "college" routine above is a good way to go

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

The thread stops and stares... a vistor from the outside world quick poke him does his skin feel diffrent... can we eat him to better ourselves.

Hey man I used to have a hard time taking to girls so I just considered them like guys you have to talk softer to... it worked.

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Stare at her.
Continue to stare at her until she moves away from you.
Then you'll be in there my son.

Anyone else need female advice?
Just call.


[This message has been edited by clan ruthervain (edited January 16, 2004).]

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Not true... we have stupidly unpredicatable weather.

and all that confidence to talk is crap if you ask me, if the person you're wanting to be with is anything like you at all (ie, worth going out with) then you should have no problem at all striking up a conversation.

of course, it all depends on the setting too, i usually find when i'm in bars, i'm not the one who needs to strike up the conversation... so i usually spend my time telling people to **** off, since bars are for drinking, not idle chit-chat!

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mmm, smells like something burning.

Yeah, but who'd wanna date a fish?
(I know, probably old joke, but hey!)

I'm afraid I'm in your boat, JK.

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I am Darth Slaw.
The Dark Lord of the Sith,
And part of the Nightfire mod team

[This message has been edited by Darth Slaw (edited January 16, 2004).]

I cant believe PW hasn't posted yet.

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The future is here, and all bets are off.

Hit her on the head, drag her back to your cave. Such is the Trophy Wife.

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MaxisReed
AIM: MaxisReed
ChatOp, EC administrator, and "some sort of god!"

Wow, Kieran..that is the smartest thing you have ever posted. I agree with what Kieran says, too bad I have your problem too TheJkWhoSaysNi. Unfortunatley i solve it with alcohol

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In Tribute to Adam Sliger. Rest in Peace

10/7/85 - 12/9/03

Ahh yes, alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems...

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The future is here, and all bets are off.

Well in this problem, I usually don't make a jackass out of myself. I look a whole lot better and a whole lot more confident. You should see me in the ****ing club when I am crazy. Damn its buck wild. I can approach most of any girls, dance with any and what not. When I am sober, I feel EXACTLY like TheJkWhoSayNi. Sad, but as of now, that is my temporary solution.

Anyways, back to his problem.

This works:



Except I wouldnt say you name up front.

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In Tribute to Adam Sliger. Rest in Peace

10/7/85 - 12/9/03

I <3 that idea...

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Be careful what you wish for, it may come back to bite you on the a**...

I haven't posted b/c lateralus pretty much hit it with his first reply, and summed it up rather nicely.




If you still want to hear it from me, just go in there with a confident attitude and strike up a casual conversation. Just don't forget to get her phone number before you leave.




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Most people regard me as the dark and immoral side of Massassi. At least I'm getting what I want out of life.

hehehehehehehahahahahahahahehehehehe....stop assuming that women think like guys do. It's a fine way to get a casual friend that cries on your shoulder when her boyfriend is mean to her, but no way to get a relationship. God knows I wish things were that simple.

Dating advice is my forte.

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I am the god of dating! You will respect my authoritah!

I pretty much agree with what Kieran Horn said. It sounds good to me. You just have to take the plunge.

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"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." -Isaac Asimov

Never tickle the third foot!

Thanks. I'll just have to go for it


For those of you who said something along the lines of "Just think of them as guys" I can't talk to guys I don't know either... Well, i'm ok if I have something to talk about, or they ask me a question. For example, all of my friends at college are in my class or people they have introduced me to :-| I'm just a shy person I guess.


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WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUT!!!

Wow dude, you sound exactly like. Im not alone!


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In Tribute to Adam Sliger. Rest in Peace

10/7/85 - 12/9/03

Just talk to her like you do with your Mother =]

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\(='_'=)/

"Yo biznatch get me a sandwich, fool!"

Hehe.. I guess that wouldn't work..

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MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

I'd go with the talking. I've tried a ridiculous amount of other things just to avoid this fact, and so far to no avail.

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Steal my dreams and sell them back to me.....

There is something I just found a link to over on the slashdot.org boards that has a lot of relevance for not only this topic, but these boards as well.
I'm currently about half way through reading it (I'm surfing the web while i'm supposed to be working).

It offer many tips and pieces of advice on aproaching and asking out a girl that I wish I had been told before I figured them out for myself.

**Warning that i neglected to post previously**

it later in the peice moves on to . . uhm . . mating behaviors those who should not read this, don't and those who can't stomach the advice, also don't. I apoligize


here's the link: http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/sextips/

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"I like my women how I like my coffee, in a plastic cup." - Eddie Izzard


[This message has been edited by MFalse3 (edited January 16, 2004).]

whats a gurl?

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GhostOfYoda - General doer of stuff.

Their those cool looking things with the bigs chest and no bulg in their pants.

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