Massassi Forums Logo

This is the static archive of the Massassi Forums. The forums are closed indefinitely. Thanks for all the memories!

You can also download Super Old Archived Message Boards from when Massassi first started.

"View" counts are as of the day the forums were archived, and will no longer increase.

☖ Forums → Interactive Story Board → You choose de outcome you stupid people
12
You choose de outcome you stupid people
2000-11-21, 11:37 AM #1
(Ok here is da deal, I type somethin now, then i give you a couple of choices, the first person to reply does that choice, and adds some extra stuff, then they give some choices, etc. etc. etc.)

And then the funny jar of jam rose from the cupboard. He grabbed a knife and:

a. Screamed in torment and rage
b. Comitted suicide
c. Made a sandwich
d. Stalked stealthily upstairs
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-21, 3:27 PM #2
..Stalked stealthily upstairs. Then he walked slowly towards the nearest bed and

a. Grabbed the peanut butter that was on the bed
b. Raised the knife evilly
c. Comitted suicide
d. Stabbed the clock
e. Climbed up the bed slowly
"Maybe you like rainbows"
I can't remember what to say!!!!
Click here for my homepage.
2000-11-21, 3:31 PM #3
Raised the knife evily and let out a menaciful laugh. Then he:

a. climbed up the bed
b. drew a picture of the sky
c. Donated blood to aerosol developers
d. Concoted an evil scheme
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-21, 3:38 PM #4
Hey that's a pretty good Idea Platipus.

Then he drew a picture of the sky. Everybody was so impressed by the drawing that:

a. they shipped him off to art school
b. used the drawing as toilet paper
c. posted the drawing on the fridge
d. ignored it and went on with the thread
SPOOKY TACO FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
2000-11-21, 3:40 PM #5
They used his drawing as toilet paper, the jam was so sad that he:

a. Decided to seek and destroy
b. Ignored the toilet paper using people
c. continued to climb up the bed
d. Make extra drawings of the sky to make a toilet paper factory
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-21, 4:17 PM #6
The jam was so sad that he decided to make extra drawings of the sky to make a toilet paper factory. The idea was:

a. so sucessful that all the other toilet paper companies went out of business.
b. the idea was a total flop. The jam was so depessed it attempted suicide. It had no arms though, so he just sulked away in his little corner.
c. already copyrighted by General Desire's Steel Reinforced *** -Wipe. The company sued the jam for all his worth.
d. stupid, the jam decided, so he just returned to his little cupboard
SPOOKY TACO FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
2000-11-21, 4:20 PM #7
The idea was already copyrighted by General Desire's Steel Reinforced *** -Wipe. The company sued the jam for all it's worth. Then Desire attacked SD_RAKISHI for daring to associate such me with *** -wipe.
2000-11-21, 4:21 PM #8
Somebody else put in the multi-choice. I have to go right now. Bye!
2000-11-21, 4:22 PM #9
the idea was a total flop. The jam was so depessed it attempted suicide. It had no arms though, so he just sulked away in his little corner. Little did the jam know that the little corner he sulked into was a meeting place for the world leaders. When he looked up from his feet he saw:

a. The PB&J
b. Bill Clinton
c. his reflection
d. a cloning factory for sheeps without tonsils
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-21, 4:23 PM #10
ignore, i repeat ignore both of desire's posts
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-22, 3:12 PM #11
Now the multi-choice


a. SD_RAKISHI was killed in the struggle, and did not post here ever again.
b. Desire was killed in the struggle, and did not post here ever again.
c. The fight ended in a draw, and so the thread returned to normal.
2000-11-22, 3:37 PM #12
..when he looked up from his feet he saw his reflection, and he didn't know it was a mirror so he stabbed it, and

a. It stabbed him too
b. The mirror opened into a secret passage
c. The mirror broke
d. The knife broke
e. He suddenly didn't stab it
"Maybe you like rainbows"
I can't remember what to say!!!!
Click here for my homepage.
2000-11-22, 6:48 PM #13
and the knife broke. The jam suddenly realized that he needed a real metal knife, not some cheap plastic one. So he climbed up to the drawer to get one, but:

a. he couldn't climb up to the drawer.
b. he got up to the drawer but couldn't find anything
c. got up, but then fell back down and shattered into a million pieces.
d. found a metal knife
SPOOKY TACO FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
2000-11-23, 6:46 AM #14
found a metal knife. But suddenly he noticed that you couldn't get down from the drawer! So he:

a. Jumped down and broke
b. Jumped down and didn't break
c. Stabbed himself
d. Sat down and looked down
"Maybe you like rainbows"
I can't remember what to say!!!!
Click here for my homepage.
2000-11-23, 1:45 PM #15
Sat down and looked down. However, he lost his balance and fell, making a big crack in his side. Then:

a) An ambulance arrived
b) A dog arrived
c) A plane crashed nearby
d) A Mexican assassin arrived

------------------
Oft evil will does evil mar.
So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!
2000-11-24, 6:16 AM #16
Then a Mexican Assassin arrived. He raised his knife and:

a. stabbed the jam and killed it.
b. stabbed the jam, but it blocked the attack with it's own metal knife.
c. opened the top and started scooping out the jam and eating it.
d. tripped over the jam's reflection and fell down and broke his nose
SPOOKY TACO FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
2000-11-24, 2:21 PM #17
opened the top and started scooping out the fam and eating it. Then the jam screamed 'NO YOUR EAting me!!' and:

a. Swung the knife at the assassin
b. Threw the knife at the assassin
c. Commited suicide
d. Got all the jam taken out
"Maybe you like rainbows"
I can't remember what to say!!!!
Click here for my homepage.
2000-11-27, 5:45 AM #18
threw the knife at the assassin. Unluckily, the jam wasn't skilled in the art of knife throwing so:

a) The knife missed
b) The knife pierced through the assassin's heart
c) The Knife stopped in mid-air turned around and hit the jam
d) His knife turned into a lightsaber and came back to his hand.
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-27, 7:48 AM #19
The Knife stopped in mid-air turned around and hit the jam.

However, the knife hit him with its handle side, so the jam...

a) went into a rage and killed the assassin.

b) became friends with the assassin, who wanted to know the jam's knife boomerang trick.

c) ran away and joined the millitary.

d) sent the assassin home, with leftover food from Thanksgiving.

e) ran forever, like in the original mario brothers when you jump the flag at the end of each level.

------------------
Quote:
Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints joined on one song
And all the streams flowed as one river
And washed away our brokenness

Sarn's Space
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2000-11-28, 10:07 AM #20
The jam ran away and joined the military. While he was there, he tried to run away, but the fish kept pulling. Finally a war started with another country so the jam:


a) prepared for the war
b) ate for the war
c) mooned the war
d) mooned the general
e) filled himself up to the rim
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-28, 11:38 AM #21
While there, he mooned the general, causing him to "eat the cheese that I eat makes you implode."


This outcome caused the jam to...


A. Fall flat on the grass, faster than the fat man who sat down too fast

B. Laugh hysterically

C. Walk away

D. Open up a can of pickled Noghri claws
2000-11-28, 2:12 PM #22
walk away. So, the jam went to the assassin and

a. Grabbed the knife and stabbed the assassin
b. Walked back to the place
c. Imploded
d. Grabbed the knife and it turned into a lightsaber
e. Grabbed the knife and.....
"Maybe you like rainbows"
I can't remember what to say!!!!
Click here for my homepage.
2000-11-28, 6:50 PM #23
Imploded. Luckily, the jar managed to explode him back to normal. After reaching the assassin...

a. He fell off of a mysterious ledge and started floating away, but then fell on the assassin, killing the poor little Mexican.
b. He grabbed his knife which was now a fork
c. he took of his cap and threw moldy jam all over the assassin's face.
d. threw a hammer at the floor from way up in the sky.

[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited November 28, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-11-29, 11:32 AM #24
c. and then he...

a. farted
b. ATE BEANS
c. commited suicide
d. all of the above
l. went to school
z. commited suicide
o. all of the above
He's Watching you
…../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_………
…( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : : o`-, ….
2000-11-29, 12:58 PM #25
Went to school. There he learned the master arts of farting in the right direction to make the moon circle around the earth faster. well, he tried it one day, and....

a. accidentally farted in the wrong direction, making the sun come extremely close to earth, killing everything but him and the assassin
b. ^a.
c. farted at the assassin to see if he would fly around the earth like the moon.
d. fell of a cliff.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-11-29, 3:51 PM #26
farted at the assassin to see if he would fly around the earth like the moon. The assassin did not fly around the earth like the moon though, he flew straight into the sun. This resulted in...

a) A solution to world hunger
b) The assassins tormented soul swearing revenge against the jar of jam
c) Giving the sun an eerie purple glow
d) The Jar of Jam having a one on one fight with the sun wearing a special super-hot heat protection suit.
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-30, 1:01 PM #27
...the Jar of Jam having a one on one fight with the sun wearing a special super-hot heat protection suit. But the Jar of Jam was on earth, and the sun came down to earth, so...

a. The earth burns up and the Jar of Jam and the sun are left floating in outer space.
b. The earth turned around and looked at the sun. Earth drew his sword and started fighting.
c. The Jam in the Jar melted to be goo.
d. ^c

[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited November 30, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-11-30, 3:30 PM #28
so the earth turned around and looked at the sun. Earth drew his sword and started fighting. It was an even match up, the jam knew there was only one thing he could do to end this fight in his favor and that was...

a) Sacrifice himself to the sun
b) Get the other planets to help
c) Use his jam to block up the suns ultra violet rays, leaving the sun defenseless
d) Draw a picture
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-11-30, 3:44 PM #29
...draw a picture. If he drew a picture of the assassin and showed it to the sun, it would run away like a little freak and leave the Might Earth alone. He showed the picture to the sun, and...

a. The sun ran away.
b. The sun ran away TOO far and Earth froze. The jar of jam's jam was now frozen.
c. The paper burnt to a crisp before the soon could even look at it.
d. when the Jar of Jam showed the picture to the sun, it was distracted. While the sun was looking at the picture, Earth quickly stabbed him in the gut.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-12-01, 9:08 AM #30
b.

The jam was now a frozen glob of strawberries. Luckily, the assassin realized what had happened, and thawed out the Jam using his Acme Jam Thawer. Then, toghether, they...

a) went after the sun to bring it back.
b) decided to forget about the earth, and ran away to the planet of Goalzotroid.
c) refroze.
d) used their uncanny ability to fart to propel them through space, where they met up with the sun, and beat it up for leaving them.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2000-12-01, 12:52 PM #31
...decided to forget about the Earth and ran away to the planet Goalzatroid, where the local IRCop awore them they were guilty of trespassing, landing without a permit and loitering.

They responded to this by:

a. drawing their knives on the IRCop.
b. doing an entertaining dance to distract the IRCop.
c. running away with the speed of the eagle and the strength of the tiger.
d. committing suicide.
e. returning to Earth.



------------------
[/End Ramble]
2000-12-01, 7:41 PM #32
...doing an entertaining dance to distract the IRCop. But, the IRCop didn't buy it. So the assassin said "Look! It's Ooglarbiokachoo!!" (A famous star on the planet Goalzatroid). The IRCop looked and the assassin and the Jar of Jam...

a. Stood there like a bunch of idiots.
b. Ran behind a rock.
c. Stabbed the IRCop with their knife in his back.
d. Took the IRCop's gun and played keep-away from the cop.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-12-02, 4:17 AM #33
Took the IRCop's gun and played keep-away from the cop. When they were playing keep away the jar of jam accidently dropped the gun and it shot a bullet at:

a) the assassin
b) the jar of jam
c) The IRcop
d) Nobody
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-12-02, 8:05 PM #34
...The Jar of Jam. Luckily, the bullet just hit his lid, making it fly off and hit the IRCop in the face. With that kind of force hitting the IRCop's face, he...

a. Fainted
b. Flew into the sun and the sun started fighting with the planet Goalzatroid.
c. Flew into earth and took over that planet.
d. Vaporized.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-12-03, 7:50 AM #35
Fainted. The assassin gave the jar of jam a high five, which got the assassin's hand all sticky, then the duo:

a) Decided that the jam should take the IRCop's clothes and used them to enter the leader of the world headquarters on the planet Goalzatroid

b) Decided that the assassin should take the IRCop's clothes and used them to enter the leader of the world headquarters on the planet Goalzatroid

c) Bury the IRCop alive

d) Eat the IRCop alive
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-12-03, 8:06 AM #36
Ate te IRCop alive. It tasted just like chicken! Then they....

a. took his clothes to enter the leader of the world's headquarters.

b. Fainted because the IRCop's meat was poisned.

c. (b)

d. Went to their room on Goalzatroid and watched T.V.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
2000-12-03, 8:57 AM #37
a. then they went to the planet of bob (Titan A.E.) and...
a. they found a large messy pile of crud
b. they all farted and died
c. the groung of planet bob wasn't flagged so they sank to there doom
d. a large yellow flamingo told them to squint in one way to get a weird version of the ebola virsus
He's Watching you
…../|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_\,----,,,_………
…( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : : o`-, ….
2000-12-04, 3:26 PM #38
e. They found the Lost City of the Cheese that I eat makes you Implode. Having discovered that, they....


A. Played with the city's lock

B. Sat and waited

C. Played space poker
2000-12-04, 3:33 PM #39
Played space poker. The jam lost so the winner got some of the jam to put on his bread. Then they went back to Goaltrazoid and:

1) Steered the planet into the sun
2) Turned the planet into the death star
3) Invaded Goaltrazoid hq
4) Made world peace


(damnit pick from the choices this time)
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
2000-12-04, 6:33 PM #40
Invaded Goalzatroid HQ by wearing the IRCop's clothes they stole earlier. After they took over...


a. The assassin started foating.
b. The Jar of Jam ran out of jam to put on his bread.
c. They went back to Bob (Titan A.E.) and started to take over that planet.
d. A sudden burst of light blinded them for 1.5423337 seconds, and when they looked up, the were now Pinky and the Brain.
[This message has been edited by Viper45 (edited December 27, 2000).]
12

↑ Up to the top!