So he searched the diseased clown and found a tasy mushroom, it looked very tasty, it was purple with white polkadots, i'll explain it from top to bottom (dramatic pause) it is about 2cm tall starting at the first milimiter is a tiny little chip off it resembling north carolina, in the second milimeter there is a little speck of dust, on the third milimeter u will notice the ancient and rare white rhinoceres, on the fourth milimeter your lucky numbers are 6, 5, 4, 7 and 4, on the fifth milimeter your journey will soon come to an end, on the sixth milimeter there are several different species of mushrooms, each 2 mm tall, i will explain all of those afterwards, anyways on the 7th milimeter there is a flipbook that shows a little cartoon containing an invisible man, on the 8th milimeter you will see a portrait of someone made by the clown, on the 10th milimeter, there is a phone, you notice it has 10 lines with 9 lines taken up, if you check line 1 it will be the president, line 2 it will be luke skywalker, line 3 will be yoda, line 4 will be Sarn-Cadrill, line 5 will be a new species of monkey, Line 6 will be your mother's best friend cousin, second uncle twice removed's roomate, line 7 will be your best friend bob, line 8 will be a bunch of people talking about coconuts and finally line 9 will be the massassi templeso anyways back tot he mushroom, the 11th milimeter will contain a mini computer with email, it has 3 emails, the first one says: hi hahehah hoooo so i saw that monkey the other day, and it had a large head, i wonder how many monkeys have large heads, the second email said: the massassi temple is a weird messed up place the third email said: Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, ohhh jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh, through the fields we go, laughing all the way hahaha, ok on to the 12th milimeter of the mushroom, the boy who seems to have no name so far sees a message that says, boy who picks his nose, your name how is fredwick, on the 13th milimeter you will notice something that says: your unlucky numbers are: 13 on the fourteenth milimeter you will see something inscribed in german, you make it out as: woo woo wo woo who let the dogs out, woo woo woo woo wo, who let the dogs out, on the fifteenth milimeter there is a little model of the city of new york, you see the empire state building, times square, even the white house, even though that's not in New york, on the sixteenth milimeter you will see a poem that reads:
Hey ho hey ho
I found myself a yo-yo
It goes up and down
On the seventeeth milimeter u see a little dog with no home, so the boy takes it with him as a companion, on the eighteenth milimeter you see a keyboard, it only has these keys: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz so you can only type letters and stuff get my drift, on the nineteenth milimeter you notice the mushroom texture gets rather rough and finally on the 20th milimeter the mushroom becomes sharp and pointy.
Yes, i was bored ok
I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.
-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy
