[NSP: Thrawn... I don't really wanna read the whole thing just to draw the pictures.....can someone sum it up.....like in two pages perhaps? or even less, whatever works]

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saberopus
oh yeh wlel i jsut gots finesht wiht my morrwoind mod for teh JO An it takes up teh 900 gigabiets of spaec but i wlil not sowh yuo gyz teh scrnshoots becasue we dunat kare wut u gyz tihnk ne1 no wear i kan get ti hostad 4 dounlowd!!!!11!111 --Checksum

(NSP: Saberobus, are you doing the illustrations? Cool.)

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

you can start reading from and a bit of the end of the last page

-Chapter 14-

"Mr. Castro! Sir!" said a worker on the jet.

"What is it?" said Tracer. He was sipping a glass of vodka. The ride to America was smooth so far.

"We are ready to dock at your blimp." The jet was slowing down. In front of it was a collection of 20 big blimps. They were located on the half way mark over between the Cuban islands and the coast of America. These blimps weren't just ordinary blimps because they were designed with military purposes. Each ship had many gun turrents and had the ability to drop bombs. The armor on the blimps were able to reflect anti-aircraft attacks. There were turbo jet engines on the sides that are to propel such a heavy load with ease. These blimps were ready for combat.

Fidel Tracer's jet docked at his favorite attack blimp. It had a painting of his face on the sides.

"Sexy blimp isn't it?" said Fidel Tracer.

"Yes sir."

"Celebrate! Pour me some more vod--"

At that moment his blimp shifted to the left. He and his servents fell down. The blimp later got back into control.

"What the hell was that??" yelled Tracer. He got vodka all over his pants.

"It seems a helicopter came too close, sir."

It was Cool Matty's helicopter that almost skinned off the side of the blimp. He later escaped the group and flew away.

"What the hell are they doing?" wondered Cool Matty. He was heading toward the UK.

------------------
"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"

(NSP: I have a blimp? Wicked. )

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Fighting for your rights; the Massassi Civil Liberties Union.

Mikeyman didn't know what to do.


He could either use the time machine to go back in time, somehow stop Thrawn before all this started...or he could save his parents from the car crash that killed them.


He could only do one.


But maybe it never worked in the first place? Maybe he was discovered and they left his lab alone...or maybe an accident happened and he had to get to a hospitol...

He looked around. It wasn't likely. If something did happen, there would be evidence.


He knew what he had to do. He had to stop Thrawn.


He studied the machine. it looked fairly simple to operate, and on the blueprints on the table next to it had instructions.


But then he noticed something on the power bar.


*DAMAGE TO FUSION REACTOR*
*50% EFFICIANCY*
*ONE TRIP ONLY*


Mikeyman stared blankly at the warning message. Now he could go back...but he could not return to this time period.


But what does it matter? Mikeyman shook his head violently. I don't have a home...or anybody to go to.


Nobody cares about me.


With his face hardened, Mikeyman strapped himself into the Temporal Warp Machine.

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

At that moment, a missile knocked out the power to the base. All machines and electronic equitment shut down. Only the emergency lights were seen. The damage of the base reached critical.

Mavispoo, Trawn, Tony, and Grismath ran toward the launching port of the facility. At the port, they found a grounded blimp that was ready to take off.

"Hurry! It is going to leave!!" proclaimed Mavispoo. She yanked out a machine gun and gunned down the two guards blocking the ship's doors. "Come on! Move it Thrawn!!"

Thrawn violently kicked the doors open and used his two silver Desert Eagles to take down the guards inside the blimp. He dodged bullets Matrix-style. In short minutes, the coast was clear.

"Hop in." said Thrawn.

The group entered the main control room. Evidently, the controls were on auto-pilot. The screens showed a map of America.

"They seem to be ready to go somewhere." responded Grismath.

The speaker on the control panel suddenly turned on.

"Hello? Hello? Blimp #21. Anyone there?"

Tony picked up the communicator to respond to the voice.

"Hi" said Tony in a charming voice.

"Hello. Are you ready to attack America. The operation is about to begin. Come quickly to see our moment of triumph!" said the voice.

"Ummmm...yes"

"Good. What are you waiting for??"

"Ummm...We had to..umm...go to the bathroom."

"Uh. What do you mean we? You all went to the bathroom at once?!"

Sweat began to fall from Tony's face. "Well, umm...we..just did it."

"What? In your pants??"

"No, no, no!!! Umm...on the floor." Tony knew that was a bad response.

"WHAT!! YOU PEOPLE ARE TAKING A PISS ON THE FLOORS!!"

"Wait! No! We go to the bathrooms."

"YOU TAKING A PISS ALL OVER THE BATHROOM FLOORS?! HEY..WHO ARE YO--"

Tony slamed the communicator down.

"We better get going." said Grismath.

------------------
"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"


[This message has been edited by Echoman (edited October 30, 2003).]

NSP: Echoman, Kirby and Gammasts are GONE! I said that already...sorry, but they deserted. The story was getting too cluttered.

NSP: I am...slightly confused...who is still alive?

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

Echoman, Gammasts and Kirby escaped the scene by teleporting to Gammast's spacecraft.

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"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"

NSP: Actually, that's true. You said it yourself Thrawn:




However, what Thrawn is trying to say is, we don't want them both in the story anymore, though they can be minor characters occasionally, like Grismath and Mavispoo.

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

"Are we there yet?" asked Fidel Tracer

"No.." said a worker.

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

The group of blimps steadily headed toward America. They were all ready for the attack but right now they didn't want any attention. Suddenly an alert on the ships was given to the crew.

"American fighter jets!!" said the worker.

"Quickly! Operation Cheap Tires!!" ordered Fidel Tracer.



Goodyear logos appeared on the sides. All the guns turrents and engines were hidden away. They looked like a big group of 20 regular Goodyear blimps.

"Looks like a...Goodyear blimp convention.." said the jet pilots. They left the scene.

"Whew. That was close...too close. We must not be found out till we reach our destination! Mwhahahaha!!" said the Fidel Tracer.

------------------
"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"

(NSP: saberopus, I heard from Thrawn that you wanted to write, so...here's your indroduction! I hope this is okay for you, if it isn't I'll get rid of it.)


SP:


*Powering up...*
*.........................*
*Fusion reactor charged*
*Components funcional*
*Ready for warp*


Mikeyman clicked a few more buttons and flicked a switch. It was ready.


Mikeyman set the date for September 28, 2003. The day Thrawn first showed up to terrorize the city I was in.


Mikeyman didn't know how to stop him, but he had to. If he didn't...


Mikeyman shook his head.


Mikeyman was about to push the big red button when--


CRASH!!


Mikeyman jumped in his seat. He unstrapped himself and went out of the lab.


A large motorboat had shored itself on the island.


"Crud!" a voice said inside the boat. A person got out.


Mikeyman: "Who are you?"


Person: "Who are you?


Mikeyman: I asked you first.


Person: I asked you last.


Mikeyman: So?


Person: ...


Mikeyman: ...


Person: ...


Mikeyman: ...


Person: ...


Mikeyman: ...


Person: ...


Mikeyman: So...who are you?


Person: I'm Saberobus. You?


Mikeyman: The names's Mikeyman.


Saberobus: Well, my boat just shored up on this island...so what are you doing here?


Mikeyman: *Sigh* It's a long story, but basically I'm trying to save the world.


Saberobus: Uh huh...


Mikeyman: Well, since you're here...


Mikeyman told Saberobus the entire story from the beginning, up to the point about the Temporal Warp Machine.


Saberobus scratched his chin. "That isn't a good idea...think about it. How in the world could you stop Thrawn? At the point you were about to go back to, he had an armored helicoptor, right? How could you stop him?"


Mikeyman was silent.


"There's no way you can do it alone, man. What happened to the others?"


"I'm not sure...somewhere in...I dunno. I think they were fighting Thrawn in a huge battle, but...it's been a long time since I saw them. I can't remember much."


"Well, c'mon. We can find them."


"We?"


"Hey, I've got nothing better to do. Help me get the boat off shore."

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

[This message has been edited by mikeyman (edited November 01, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by mikeyman (edited November 01, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by mikeyman (edited November 01, 2003).]

"Well. What is there to do? Start up the ship!" said Mavispoo.

Grismath, with his unusual talent of flying blimps, started up the engine with the controls. The wires that held the blimp down detached. Soon they were flying in the air and escaped the destroyed Cuban base below. The problem is, the group couldn't direct the ship's destination. It was set on autopilot to join the rest of Fidel Tracer's group of military blimps.

Tony saw a blinking red button on the control console. He ignored it at first, but he kept looking at it again and again. It was a nice red button. Curiosity got the best him. Tony decided to press it.

Too bad it was labeled turbo speed.

It a matter of seconds their blimp arrived at Tracer's attack group. America was drawing near.

"Fidel! Sir! Another blimp of ours has arrived! said a worker.

"Good. Good." Tracer was sipping Vodka. He was getting a bit drunk. "Soon we will teach those Americans some respect! They can't bomb us! Now we will use our secret weapon!"

The worker gasped. "The secret weapon! You mean #42689!"

"Yes! They built it at the secret Cuban base. But before they could use it, filthy American missiles destroyed the place. Luckily, I took the weapon just in time! Now I shall unleash its power on top of the Presidence's head! Mwhahaha!"

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"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"

EDIT: Nevermind, go ahead and post.

[This message has been edited by Thrawn42689 (edited November 02, 2003).]

The evil sexy attack blimp cruised over the American coastline, casting an ominous yet erotic shadow upon the land. From the gondola, Tracer, seated in his Marxist throne contemplated the battle ahead.

Swirling his vodka in its glass, he watched a computerized map of the United States display the locations of his various attack blimps, which were slowly moving in on their targets.

"Sir! The various blimps are moving in on their targets!" screamed an aide.

"Yes, excellent," replied Tracer, "Soon we shall make for the secret White House and overthrow the filthy capatalists!" And he knocked back his drink, which was promptly refilled by Charles, another lackey.

"Good work with the vodka, Charles," said Tracer, "I'll be sure to give you a plum position in my new government."

"Aha!" cried 'Charles' as he hurled the bottle of vodka to the floor, pulled out a deadly-looking machine pistol and began spraying bullets across the control cabin.

"I am not Charles but Gebohq, Secret Agent! Years ago I assumed the identity of Charles for the express purpose of exacting brutally honest revenge upon you when the time was right!"

Incredibly, Geb had failed to hit anyone with his wild firing, but after running out of ammunition he threw the empty gun at the airship's pilot. Cracking him square on the forehead like a sledgehammer on fresh pastry, the man was dead before he hit the floor.

There was total silence, except for the fizzing of broken electronics.

"Why did you do that?" asked Tracer.

"I make my escape!" yelled Gebohq, who promptly leapt through a window and parachuted to the ground below.

"Dear God, they've killed the pilot!" wailed a grief stricken officer.

"Engage the 'Automatic Pilot' -" started Tracer, but an aide cut him off.

"Sir, the gunplay has competely destroyed this ship's computer systems. We are going to crash."

"Oh no," uttered Tracer.

"Oh no," replied everyone on the bridge.

------------------
Fighting for your rights; the Massassi Civil Liberties Union.

Thanks Geb.

------------------
Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

Fidel Tracer's blimp was going down fast. The engines blew off. Panic inside the blimp rose.

"Crap! What do we do, sir??!" said a worker in fear.

"What do you mean we?? What am I going to do! Well, I going to the escape pod. Ta-ta!" said Tracer. He pushed the workers out of his way and locked himself into the pod. He was ready to launch when the controls malfuctioned. Fidel Tracer was sent flying through the window and out of the blimp.

When he was flying in the air, he looked down on the ground. He saw Gebohq waving.

"CURSE YOU!! CURSE YOU TO HELL!!! CURS--" that moment Tracer landed on an attack blimp below. Plop.

"Did you hear something land on our blimp??" asked Mavispoo.

Tony shrugged. He was watching the blimp with Fidel's face on it explode.

------------------
"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"


[This message has been edited by Echoman (edited November 08, 2003).]

(NSP: Saberobus, are you going to be writing or not?)

------------------
Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

(NSP: There's way to many non story things - so far, this page has 12 NSPs and only 9 story posts. If you really want to compliment someone or clarify something, then go ahead, but otherwise I think we should all agree to keeps NSPs to a minimum [voice your assent by *not* posting ;p] for the sake of the story. And yes, I know I'm making a non-story post right now...)

Tracer forced himself to clear his head after the shock of the fall. Just as he began sliding from the blimp's round and shiny surface, he reached out and grabbed hold of the side egress hatch. Wrenching it open, he clambered into the airship's superstructure and held on to a railing until the door sealed itself.

Once shut, Tracer was free to contemplate his surroundings. He was in the helium-filled centre of one of his standard attack balloons. However, something was wrong, something was missing - there were no guards. Tracer slipped the revolver into his hand and looked around, frantic, because the standard crew complement was nowhere to be seen.

Alochol-induced joviality set aside, Fidel Tracer stood up and cautiously began to search for his missing air crew.

*****

In the cabin, the intrepid gang of hijackers watched the last flaming debris of Tracer's blimp fell to the ground.

"I hope that doesn't happen to us," said Grismath.

"Maybe we should just abandon ship and go home," said Maeve. "I mean, it's not like we're heroes or anything."

Thrawn knew he had to see the mission through; he also knew that it could only be pulled off with the support of his two friends.

"Hey, what do you call someone who drops out of flight school?" he asked lightheartedly.

Everybody stared at the wreakage strewn across the ground.

"A blimp driver!"

Grismath shook his head. "Blimps don't have drivers."

Suddenly, the door flew off its hinges and three gunshots rang out. Having failed to find the crew, Tracer had made his way to the control cabin in order to contact the fleet; however, upon discovering the interlopers, he took what he deemed to be the best possible course of action.

All three bullets struck Tony in the back, knocking him out of the pilot's chair in which he sat.

"Aha! I've caught you, and now you'll pay!" Tracer screamed, meanacing them with his gun.

"You shot Tony," observed Thrawn.

"Indeed I have, and you're next in line, Mister Chatterbox," was Tracer's witty response as he pointed the gun squarely at Thrawn.

Thrawn immediately stopped talking, intending to prove to the world that he was not in fact a chatterbox, but he ended up just sulking in the corner.

After realizing that Thrawn was more or less done with his leadership, Maeve attempted to talk the group's way out of their situation. "All we want to do is escape with our lives," she pleaded. "That's always been our plan. We don't want a fight."

Tracer heaved a deep Cuban sigh and, with his free hand, reached into a nearby cabinet, extracting a bottle and tumbler. "Unfortunately my dear, I *do* want a fight," he said as the vodka splashed into his glass, "You see, I fly to the United States not for pleasure, but business - the business of killing their Presidente in retaliation for raining missiles upon my sweet country."

"That means we're on the same side! We were hit by the missile attack as well." Maeve brightened, sensing an escape.

"Yeah, and I got knocked out like five times. What's up with that?" interjected Grismath, but nobody listened.

The gun lowered a bit. "You - you would aid me in my mad assault on America?" asked Tracer, reservedly.

"Actually, we just wanted to go somewhere that's not currently blowing up, but okay," replied Maeve.

Tracer looked for feminine treachery in Maeve's eyes, and then put away his gun. Everyone relaxed visibly.

"I'm so glad we were able to resolve this before anyone got hurt," exclaimed Thrawn, forgetting his prior ideals about speaking.

"Well, anybody except him," said Grismath, prodding Tony's dead body with his shoe. "He got killed."

"Yes, I'm very sorry about that," said Tracer.

"Don't worry," said Thrawn, clapping him on the back. "Common mistake. Could happen to anyone. So," he began fiddling with the airship's controls, "shall we set course for the secret White House bunker?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Fidel Tracer was dumbstruck, "First the blimp falls apart in midair, then I somehow get shot out of the escape pod tube - don't even ask me how that one works - and then it starts exploding for no apparent reason. Let's just get out of this flying deathtrap before the next bad thing happens."

Nodding, Grismath began a slow descent to the land below, where they could debark.

------------------
You want maybe I should break your face?

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited November 08, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited November 08, 2003).]

Placeholder. I'm writing.

------------------
The Matrix: Unplugged

*NOTE* This section contains background music: Fluke - Atom Bomb. Thank you for your time.

As the blimp slowly descended through the cloudy skies, Grismath drummed his fingers impatiently on the dashboard of the attack blimp. Nearby lay Tony, blood oozing from the multiple magnum gunshot wounds in his upper back. His fingers lay coldly on the deck.

Suddenly, inexplicably, they began to twitch. Tony slowly dragged his arm towards the MP5k that had fallen from his coat as he fell. His fingers curled tightly around the handle, and his finger caressed the trigger. As Fidel Tracer strolled by, Tony sensed his chance. In one graceful, lightning-fast movement, he caught Tracer's leg with his own and sent the Presidente crashing to the floor.

Tony was instantly on his feet. He caught Tracer in the stomach with a hard kick, and the Cuban leader went crashing through a window in the blimp's gondola. Without thinking, Thrawn grabbed Tracer's arm and drew a bead on Tony with a DE.

"Wait a minute...I'm mixed up." said Thrawn aloud. "Tony's my boss. Maeve? Gris? What should I do?"

"Eeeeeee!" screeched Fidel Tracer in an oddly feminine voice. "Eeeeee!"

"OW!" yelled Thrawn, clutching a hand to his ear. "Do that again and I'll drop you. Really."

"Would you really?" said Tracer. "Well, I happen to have the ultimate bargaining chip. AN ATOM BOMB! Pull me back up or I'll blow us to pieces! Tracer pulled an atomic grenade from his back pocket and waved it around threateningly.

"That was kinda dumb," Maeve pointed out calmly. "That gives us a lot more incentive to drop you."

"Shut up, you stupid female!" Tracer yelled angrily.

"Drop him, Thrawn." ordered Maeve coldly.

"But..." Thrawn began to protest.

Maeve suddenly pulled out a Glock 18 and shot Thrawn in the hand.

"BLOODY F***ING OW!" bawled Thrawn, dropping Fidel Tracer and clutching his hand.

"I'll be baaaaaaaaaaccckk...." called Presidente Fidel Castro as he fell down, down, and out of sight.

"Actually, he probably will." commented Grismath. "Maybe Gebohq will catch him and arrest him or something."

"Yeah," agreed Tony. "That would make a neat plotli--I mean, that would be interesting. Anyway, where's the first aid kit? I need a band-aid for my back."

They couldn't find any band-aids, but there was a box of spare underwear in the back, and they used that to bandage Tony and Thrawn's wounds.

*****

Washington, D.C. -- The Newly Rebuilt White House

President Ganondorf, continuing his masquerade as President Bush, was planning his next attack on a random country, when he heard a strange humming noise outside. He stupidly tottered to the window, and looked outside. It seemed a little darker than it should have been, but he didn't see anything else of interest. He stumbled back to his desk and began muching on a jarful of pretzels. He never saw the gigantic blimp descending from above, its massive form blocking out the sun.

NSP: I'd like to kill Ganondorf at some point, but bear in mind that the real Bush is dead. Fidel Tracer is NOT dead, feel free to bring him back any time (hopefully soon, maybe in a couple posts).

Mikeyman and Saberobus were able to get the boat back in the water. They hopped in it and sped away.

On the 4-hour trip to Cuba, Mikeyman got out his GameWaffle and played The Adventures of Waffleman.

"Land ho!" Saberobus shouted as they neared Cuba.

They landed and began their search for Echoman.

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Blue Moon Jedi Mercenaries: Book 0

I like waffles.

President Ganondorf was sitting in his chair in his base. The attack blimp above him was a targeting his exact coordinates. Too bad the President didn't know he was about to be doomed.

"How did blowing up Finland go?" asked Ganondorf. He enjoyed destroying the world.

An agent responded, "Fine. But don't you think this is a bad idea?! Look wh--"

"Silence! We have the ultimate power!! We are showing the world who is boss! Our next target is the UK. Set the missles." Suddenly a missle came roaring through the roof and entered the office. It didn't detonate.

"Sir, that is not our missle." said the agent.

"Well, it doesn't look like our missiles. I wonder where it came from." asked Ganondorf. He was staring at the odd missle in front of him.

The doors of Ganondorf's office burst open, and there was Bill Clinton standing by the doors. He had an assault rifle by his hand, and he shouted, "Ha HA! I have finally found you Mr. President. Now I shall end your political terror! I am the ultimate President!"

Ganondorf didn't know what to do so he hid under the desk. Bullets from Bill Clinton's assault rifle filled the room. "Feel my wrath! Ha ha ha! You shall pay President Bush!"

Unfortunately, Bill shot the missle in the room. The object started to shake violently.



------------------
"The Tenloss Disruptor was outlawed throughout the galaxy because it's such a stupid gun"

Suddenly the missile in the room started to send out waves. These were not ordinary waves. These were waves of stupidity! Everyone in Washington DC turned instantly stupid. Ganondolf was rolling on the ground yelling, "I'm a chicken! Whaaa! Gooble, gooble!!"

Bill Clinton was trying to eat his tongue. Everyone outside the base was running around like idiots. It was a riot.

"Good work!" said the Cuban commander on the blimp in the sky above. "Everyone turned into idiots in the nation's capital. The stupidity bomb worked!"

"Ha! But aren't the American pigs already stupid?" asked a Cuban worker.

"True. True. Now that everyone in DC has gone dumb, where is Fidel Tracer? He has to step in and take over!"

----------------

Tracer got up from a hole in the ground. He was in great pain. "OW. I...need...help..I...need...Vodka.."

------------------
What is a sig you may ask. A sig is only a small factor in the flow of life. It is just a minor detail of the universe we live in. To understand the true purpose of this sig, you must understand how life influences it. To do that you must understand how the functions of life work in the world. There you shall know how time plays a role. Time and life are...you sir! Is that a monkey?

Tracer staggered into a nearby pub. He collapsed onto the barstool and called for alcohol.

"Barkeep! I require vodka!"

"No problem," replied the bartender. "Will I put that on your tab?"

"You can put it on my ATOM BOMB!" yelled Tracer as he whipped out the atomic grenade and made crazy eyes at the bartender and other patrons.

(Uh, yeah. I think I'll go watch a movie now.)

------------------
Shut up. I'm GOING to do this whether you like it or not.

(The movie was too scary)

Thrawn, Maeve and Grismath entered the secret bunker, guns ready to blast any perceived threat. Thrawn was the first to speak.

"Sweet mother of God -"

"Can it, Thrawn. We're on a mission," said Maeve, sweeping the area with her night-vision glance.

"No we're not. And where did you get those night vision goggles?" asked Thrawn.

"I've found him!" called Grismath, waving over the others. "I've found the president!"

They rushed over to see President Ganondorf huddled under his desk, waving a miniature American flag.

"Can that really be the president?" said Thrawn.

"It's him alright," said Maeve, snapping her tricorder shut. "Time to take care of business." Bringing up her assault rifle, she took aim at the comatose man.

"Now wait a minute," protested Thrawn, "What just what 'business' are you talking about? And where'd you get that tricorder?"

Maeve answered by cutting loose with her firearm into Ganondorf. His body danced about at each bullet's impact; the miniature flag was sent airborne.

To stunned to speak, Thrawn gaped as Maeve pushed up her night vision goggles, stared at the dead body for a moment and then turned on her heel, leaving the way the group came.

Having decided to investigate the noises, Tony poked his head in the entranceway just a Maeve reached it. "Hey, I heard gunshots but this time it wasn't me and - holy crap!" Maeve swung her rifle in a brutal arc, clocking Tony.

------------------
Shut up. I'm GOING to do this whether you like it or not.

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited November 23, 2003).]