[NSP
hmm, let's see...

Sran Cadpill is completely incompetent, and has an ego capable of supporting 15 - 20 men

SpandexX is also completely incompetent, and onlly holds the position of First Officer, because he is constantly sucking up the Captain (and thus, feeding his ego). He also enjoys fishing out demerits to Quinelleq, although this hasn't yet been implimented.

MissusJupiton is completely underappreciated. She does all the work, and the Captain (Sran) and First Officer (SpandexX) take all the credit. She constantly bickers with SpandexX, and is often setting everything up to the point where all the Captain has to do is press a button. He usually screws it up one way or another. She is also occaisionally called GingeraleTesty, although no one is quite sure why (and she doesn't like being called that).

Quinelleq is a leutinant who has been recently promoted from ensign, simply because he's managed to stay alive and out of notice for this whole ordeal. He's incredibly nervous around the Captain and other officers, and inserts the word, Sir, whenever possible. His current duty is simply to guard the door to the bridge and open/close it as other officers move through.

Lerdvaddar is the Chief Engineer. He talks with an accent (Scottish?). Basically think of the old Star Trek movies.

Dr. Gebhock seems to currently play a minor role, although that is likely to change (right Geb?). He has a strange personality, and doesn't get along with the others very well.

Zangordo is a very minor character, and has only shown up 2 or 3 times (although that wasn't my original intention). He is the ship's Chaplain, and always speaks in riddles.

KiteiodTurrastie is a large yet very sensitive beast. Origins unknown, but he very much enjoys beating the tar out of enemies, and sending people to the Brig. He is also very fond of the game Space Invaders, and is incredibly loyal to Cadpill.

Wass is the evil villian. He has a fondness for sticks. He's moderately cliched. His current goal is to take over the Hemo-Sapient race (that is the race that most of our heroes belong to), and make them all slaves.

Yvul_Jaraf is a mercernary accountant, who was employed by Wass to wreak destruction on the Hemo-Sapient's economy. He is incredibly fond of Space Invaders, and was bought off by Cadpill with a Space Invaders arcade machine. He also has a thing for MissusJupiton.

--

Ok, I think those are all... If I missed any, someone else can post them. And feel free to add to the character descriptions if I missed anything.
]

(NSP: Sure thing. Just a little bit on my own character--he's moody, anti-social, and often is working in secret on questionable experiments (which may or may not produce interesting plot devices and whatnot). In short, he's a lot like the doctor in the original Star Trek series)

Jagged Conscience: You missed me you fool!!

I'm attention seeking, trying to get with MissusJupiton and not actually part of the crew. People try to kill me off, but I keep on coming back and ruining the story .

You also missed Tra'cer who is kinda like Spock, but imprecise and violent (see Nerve punch) (I think). Tracer is really responsible for most of this thread. We bow to him.

NSP: (And by 'tomorrow' I really mean 'tomorrow'. Bow to Evil_G; he was actually funny. Better still, let's all pat eachother on the back.)

NSP: (In a word, Dr. Gebhock is Cantankerous. And I'm going to suggest that we write in Star Trek style episodes/quests/missions. For example, now that the crew has crash-landed on a planet, we work with that for a while and play it out to some sort of conclusion. It'll be more difficult, but it should prevent two pages of uncohesive random spaceship jackings...in other words, make it more like a story and less like the idiotic bumblings of one-dimensional characters. Just a thought.)

*After a long and probably exciting space battle, Captain Sarn (who I will henceforth refer to as 'Sarn' instead of 'Sran' because the misspelled names joke got old a while ago and it hurts to read 'Sran' anyways) and company crash land on a snowy planet. The starship, whichever one it is, let's call it the S.S. Josephine for the sake of argument, comes careening down from the sky. The ship comes to a ballistic and uncontrolled halt, but not before striking a large iceberg. A rent is torn in the outer hull which many ensigns and robots fall to their death through.*

*Captain Sarn pokes his head out of the hatch.*

Captain Sarn: "Good heavens, we've crash-landed on an uncharted planet!"

MissusJupiton: "Apparently."

StaticX: "Sir, what are your orders? "

Captain Sarn: "We'll have to send out a scouting party. Lordvader will supervise repairs, and have Dr. Gebhock establish a field hospital to take care of the wounded. You there, ensign, go fetch us the arctic terrain vehicles."

Ensign Billy: "Aye, sir." (leaves)

Dr. Gebhock: "Fine, I guess I've got nothing better to do anyways, seeing as how you destroyed all of my experiments with your 'landing'."

Captain Sarn: "What was that?"

Dr. Gebhock: "I said, 'Fine, I guess this ensign needs a booster shot'." (jabs a needle into a concussed ensign)

*Ensign Billy returns with four pairs of self-mobilizing snowshoes, which are then donned Sarn, Missusjupiton, StaticX and the errant Ensign Billy.*

Captain Sarn: "Lead on, Ensign Billy!"

*The scouting party activates their showshoes and shuffles off in search of a power source for thier ship. A power source called 'nuclear sploosanium,' which is perfectly logical and scientific if you think about it. Which you shouldn't.*

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited December 06, 2002).]

*Just moments after the party leaves, a voice can be heard from the within the ship's hull, from the area of the lavatories*

Quinelleq: "Oh shoot, no more paper..."

*Captain Sarn and the rest of the party are out looking around for the much needed power source.*

Captain Sarn: Ok, everyone be careful... we don't know where we are at.

*Just then, a rather large and ferocious snow gecko jumps out of its snowdrift home and consumes Ensign Billy rather bloody and violently. It then retreats quickly.*

Captain Sarn: Is everyone else OK? Thank Pluto he decided to eat an ensign instead of someone important.

StaticX: Phew, that was close.

Missus Jupiton, looking at small computer: Well, it looks as if we have depleted our alloted ensign usage for the day. We will either have to be more careful, or move on to our reserves and start using our legal advisors. *Back at the ship, a legal advisor is accidently welded to the ship during repairs to the large hole.*

StaticX: Those snowshoes that ensign was wearing cost $18,000 a pair! That money is coming out his issued life insurance.

Captain Sarn: Now look, I have ensign blood on my parka. Hey! look over there!

Missus Jupiton: I see it Captain, but I can't make what it is...

Captain Sarn: Let's take a closer look.

StaticX: Captain, it looks like it is very dangerous... it might be another one of those snow geckos. I can see the fangs!

Missus Jupiton: We're still too far away to be able to tell what it is...

Captain Sarn: Hand me that gun, there, and be careful with it.

*Captain Sarn shoots and hits the target, which true indentity is still unknown.*

StaticX: Great shot! That was nice! You nailed it!

Missus Jupiton: While you were looking through the scope, did you bother to see what it was before you shot it?

Captain Sarn: Go back to reading your computer while StaticX and I celebrate my marksmanship.

Missus Jupiton: I am going to go see what it was. *Moves over to recently shot object.*

Missus Jupiton: Umm, sir, it appears you shot the head clean off of a snowman. I can still see little pieces of his carrot nose.

Captain Sarn: Snowman? Who constructed a snowman in the never-ending sub-freezing ice fields of this previously undiscovered planet?

StaticX: Wow, good vocabulary, sir! I couldn't understand half of those words!

Captain Sarn: Thanks. I heard them on the Discovery channel.

Missus Jupiton: *sigh* Captain, we still need a nuclear sploosanium to run the ship, and this new snowman mystery may lead us to one...

A post beforehand...

Dr. Gehbock: *grumbles to himself* Stupid ensigns...

*Dr. Gehbock presses the hypospray on teh neck of the next ensign in line.*

Ensign Gonnabiteit: Aren't you suppose to change hyposprays for health-purposes?

Dr. Gehbock: I don't tell you how to do your job, do I? Move it!

*Dr. Gehbock shoves Ensign Gonnabiteit out of the way and refills his hypospray for the next character-less ensign.*

Ensign Soondead: So what are you injecting in us anyways, Doc?

Dr. Gehbock: Don't call me that, son. And if I told you, you probably wouldn't understand. You know, one part Unixamfied Triglofomaine with two parts Diluvisiline...

Ensign Soondead: You're injecting us with mutagenic super-antibodic chemicals banned since the Treaty of Odiseus?

Dr. Gehbock: ...*grabs the ensign in a threatening manner, and whispers* Say a word, and you'll find yourself with worse things in your bloodstream. Got it?

*Ensign Soondead shakes his head.*

Dr. Gehbock: Good. And if you're lucky, my injection might do you some good...

*The line of injured officers moves along.*

Dr. Gehbock: *under his breath* That'll teach Sran to leave me behind on a cool away-mission...

Meanwhile, the Captain and and the others had found another snowman. MissusJupiton had just managed to disarm Captain Cadpill before he had blasted the figure to a snowy pulp. Now they were crouched around it, trying to discern just what it all meant.

SpandexX: Man, it's freezing here...

Sran Cadpill: Of course it is. Everyone knows these planets are always extremely cold, or extremely hot. There's never a middle ground.

SpandexX: Well, of course sir, and excellently stated, by the way. But it's different when you're actually there, and not snuggled up with a mug of cocoa in front of the TV.

MissusJupition: Will you two quit babbling? I'm looking for clues.

Sran Cadpill: That's no way to talk to the Captain. Return to your post.

*MissusJupiton mutters to herself, as she takes various samples from the snowman*

(OOC: I can only post so much when my character ain't doing anything

And I got a one-act play for "Writings" Sarn--I'll try to send it out when I can. Mebbe I can throw in a holiday short or something too /shrug/.)

It. Won't. Die.

Dr. Gehbock: "That'll teach Sran to leave me behind on a cool away-mission..."

*Click. The scene rewinds.*

Dr. Gehbock: "That'll teach Sran to leave me behind on a cool away-mission..."

*Click. The scene rewinds.*

Dr. Gehbock: "That'll teach Sran to leave me behind on a cool away-mission..."

*Click. The scene pauses, and the CEO of Universal Studios steps in front of the television. The camera pans back to reaveal...our heroes watching themselves on the telly?*

CEO: "Well, gentlemen, now that you've previewed the films, what do you think?"

Sran: "Excellent job! I especially liked the actor playing me - he gave those orders just like I do!"

Wass: "Oh, how clever. Sticks! Can you imagine such a thing?"

SpandexX: "And the sycophant character! He was just so close to the real thing!"

MissusJupiton: "The actress playing me really had her eye-rolling technique down."

CEO: "I'm glad you all enjoyed this special preview of Space Voyage films one through ten. After over a year of ardorous filming, they're finally complete - and we owe it all to yourselves and the disembodied head of Steven Spielberg."

Sran: "Mr. CEO, the pleasure's been all ours."

(NSP: Teehee)

Gehbock: The pleasure wasn't mine at all! I think the no-name two-bit piece of trash who acted my part should be dragged out in the street and shot! Vin Disel could have done my part better!

CEO: Vin Disel did act your part, Mr. Gehbock.

Gehbock: That's DOCTOR to you!

*The others give Gehbock questioning looks*

(NSP: )

Jagged Conscience: Hmmm... It's kinda good, but I don't think Tri-Stone's outfit was outrageous enough, and you could have spared me some embarassment and cut out where I screwed up the storyline...

KiteoidTurrastie: You mean it was all just a crazy story?

Sran Capdill: Not quite, it was a New Crazy Story.

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It's not what you know or who you know - it's who knows you.

My page

[This message has been edited by Jagged Conscience (edited April 20, 2003).]

Wa-wa-waaaaa.

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******.

(lol, this is good.)

Sran Cadpill: Wait. I'm confused. Does this mean it's fina- err... over?

SpandexX: Excellent question, Captain. Brilliantly stated.

Sran Cadpill: Thank's Spandex, though if this is over now, you could probably stop with the ego stroking...

SpandexX: Great idea, SIR! Will you ever quit? Wow!

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Tia ni aven Moridin isainde vadin
http://www.writings-emag.net The next big thing since individually wrapped cheese slices (coming soon).

MissusJupiton: I'm afraid it's not over yet sir, we still have to face a dangerous, arduous, perilous... marketing campain!!
SpandexX: Oh stare at the blinking lights woman.

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It's not what you know or who you know - it's who knows you.

My page

*Somewhere, sitting crazily in a lair, Zangordo is madly jabbering...*

Zangordo: I'll get them... stupid people, cut out all my funny lines, didn't invite me to the press release and worst of all, they got that God awful actor to play me...

Ivor (pronounced Eevor): Which actor sir?

Zangordo: [With look of rage on face] GEORGE LAZENBY!! But I have a plan ... A plan that will make him disappear FOREVER! It's based on the prototype model that caught him after On Her Majesties Secret Service. He disappeared for over 2 decades, but he's back now and playing me!! My refinements should make the disappearance permanent this time!!

*Will the brave crew be able to save George Lazenby from certain death at the hands of the deranged Zangordo?*

(Sorry guys)

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I await the second coming of Brian.

My page

Would it be alright if I tried to make a comic of this?

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tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"

NSP: I think it'd be up to Sarn, but I have no problem with it myself

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Check out the following stories over at the Interactive Story Board:
The Never-ending Story Thread or visit the new webcomic version!
The Vision Cycle series
Featured Story: The Forgotten Relic

This story is neither new nor crazy.

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Shut up. I'm GOING to do this whether you like it or not.

Excellently stated, Tracer.

And JC, feel free, long as you're not trying to make money off it or anything. You just have to show us all.

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Tia mi aven Moridin isainde vadin
http://www.writings-emag.net The next big thing since individually wrapped cheese slices (coming soon).

Cheers. Of course I wouldn't be making money out of it.

I'll let you see what I've done when I've done it.

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tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"

Would people fancy making an audio drama from this? I'd be up for doing a comic but it's a bit too much work, I've got coursework and such right now.

If any of you happen to have sisters or girlfriends to do MissusJupiton I'm sure my groin could use a bit of a rest. (That's a reference to speaking in a high voice...)

I could mix it up by the way, unless anyone thinks they can do it better.

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tristan is the best friend of the jedi

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"

*The crew are milling around, eating canapes and chatting with the big movie stars playing them in the movie.*

*Suddenly, the door bursts open, revealing a very angry looking Zangordo and his henchman Ivor*

Zangordo: Bring me the head of George Lazenby!

Sran: Zangordo! Why must you always speak in riddles?

Zangordo: I'm not, I actually want his head. I'm speaking plainly for the first time in my life and still you don't understand me. The impetuous grasslands of your mind could use some trimming, my son.

Sran: Hey, no fair re-using the dialogue!

Zangordo: I decide what's fair in this scene!

Sran: I think not! I'm still your captain!

Zangordo: Maybe, but I have the entire contents of the ship's armoury equipped on Ivor here!

*Ivor groans slightly under the twenty tonnes of hi-tech weaponry*

Sran: Good lord, not even Wass was this evil! You're insane! Fireteams, alert!

MissusJupiton: Firetemas won't work, Captain. Can I suggest destroying this alternate reality altogether?

Sran: Steady on MJ, let's not kill a mountain with a molehill!

MissusJupiton: No. I mean let's return to what we were doing just before the CEO of Universal Studios interrupted movie-reality-us and materialised non-movie-reality-us.

Sran: Who to the what now?

MissusJupiton: *Rolls eyes* Oh never mind, I'll just do it.

*MJ runs over to the CEO of Universal Studios and grabs the remote. She presses Play and the scene changes...*

MissusJupiton: *Looking up from her measurements* Did anyone notice anything? Like the world just halted for a few moments whilst time played out in some alternate reality?

Sran: What are you talking about woman? Get back to your post.

*Meanwhile, on the ship*

Ensign Soondead: Doc, did you feel that?

Dr Gehbock: Don't call me that, son. And no, I didn't feel that. I wouldn't be stupid enough to perform these experiments on myself. Just lie back and let me know the next time you feel anything strange.

[NSP: Take it from here guys... back to the episodic format Tracer suggested ... wow, over a year ago. JC, you just *had* to bring this back to my attention didn't you. Grrrrr]