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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → I did it.
123
I did it.
2004-10-18, 9:34 PM #1
I picked up the phone, called a girl and told her how I felt.

I didn't give her time to respond. I told her, said goodnight and hung up. Was this a mistake? It might have been. The story is long and complicated.

I might have screwed up. But at least this time, if I did, my mistake was my action and not my inaction.

I'm not sure what I expect in response from the community. I just wanted to tell you.
2004-10-18, 9:37 PM #2
Uh, yeah. You probably should have let her talk.
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2004-10-18, 9:38 PM #3
You shouldn't have hung up.

[what tracer said, but good job]
一个大西瓜
2004-10-18, 9:43 PM #4
Did she know it was you?
2004-10-18, 9:44 PM #5
Just FYI... the phone call wasn't random.

I was on AIM as usual, and she asks me: "Who do you have a crush on?"

She presses me for a straight answer for an hour because I'm screwing up as usual.

So she gives me her cell phone number, and logs off.

I call say: "Caitlin."
Her: "yes?"
"That's the answer. Goodnight."

Was it still wrong? Maybe. But I can't have an extended conversation with her due to people being in bed/noise restraints. Plus, she is kind of dating one of my best friends now. (Like I said, it's complicated.)

Edit: yes, she definitely knew it was me.
2004-10-18, 9:46 PM #6
you f***ed up. Shouldn't have done that, b/c it just made you look stupid.
2004-10-18, 9:50 PM #7
Quote:
I might have screwed up. But at least this time, if I did, my mistake was my action and not my inaction.


True, dat. Good work.

By the way, that's kinda clever. I like how you pulled it off. :p
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2004-10-18, 9:56 PM #8
Well, I'm sure it feels good to have the truth out there. However, the immediate consequences will probably be very bad. You should have waited and hoped they would break up.

Just curious, are you stronger than your friend? Also, are your doors locked?
"I got kicked off the high school debate team for saying 'Yeah? Well, **** you!'
... I thought I had won."
2004-10-18, 9:57 PM #9
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
you f***ed up. Shouldn't have done that, b/c it just made you look stupid.


Heh. I don't know if you're right, but you're not going to be the expert in this case. She's a nice girl, not your type.
2004-10-18, 9:59 PM #10
Quote:
Originally posted by Chaz Ghostle
Well, I'm sure it feels good to have the truth out there. However, the immediate consequences will probably be very bad. You should have waited and hoped they would break up.

Just curious, are you stronger than your friend? Also, are your doors locked?


Given the circumstances, I'm not worried. While she was bothering me about it online, I made her agree to secrecy. (I'm just glad I told her on the phone because telling her online is much more lame, I'm sure). So I doubt he'll find out.

Even if he did, it was a simple answer. The ball is now in her court. I didn't ask her out or anything.

[Edit: and I couldn't wait on this question. It was now or never. She was pressing me for an answer and she gave me her number. ]

Side note: I am really freaking nervous about seeing her tommorrow, for fear that Pagewizard is right.
2004-10-18, 10:01 PM #11
Quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Legend
I made her agree to secrecy.


from my past experience, that doesn't get you s***. I'd feel better buying stock in enron.

Girls like to talk about everything.

I learned the hard way that two people can indeed keep a secret, as long as one of them is dead.
2004-10-18, 10:04 PM #12
It might not have been the right thing to do, but you have got more guts to talk to women than me :(
2004-10-18, 10:06 PM #13
heheheh I agree, that was kinda clever.
Letting her speak would've been a good idea MAYBE
Or MAYBE she neededthe time to think anyway, so who knows? she might've just hung up on you after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

The question of wether you screwed up or not is tough.
Theres a big risk here, with her (kind of?) dating your best friend and all.

Do you feel strongly enough about her to risk the friendship?
I hope it doesn't come to this, but it might. I also hope you've already thought about this, because telling her just opened that door.
I'm not trying to scare you here, I think you probably did the right thing.

Give her some time to think about it, don't pressure her to respond immediately, and good luck.

Oh, and most importantly, congratdulations, you just took the plunge :D
I bet that was exhilirating, scary as hell too eh? ;)
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-10-18, 10:09 PM #14
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
I learned the hard way that two people can indeed keep a secret, as long as one of them is dead.


O_o

I had this whole reply written up for that... but no.
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
Are you finding Ling-Ling's head?
Last Stand
2004-10-18, 10:16 PM #15
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
you f***ed up. Shouldn't have done that, b/c it just made you look stupid.

NO! It didn't make you look stupid, that I can garuntee. You may appear crazy, but such actions are expected under the circumstances.
Pagwizard, I may be off on this but you seem to me like a very bitter individual.
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-10-18, 10:20 PM #16
The reason I did it was exactly becasue my gut instinct was not to. I've lived my whole life fearing what I haven't experienced. Tonight, I conquered that fear. I took control of my fate. I still can't believe I did it.

Something tells me that I would have regretted leaving her hanging with no answer more than I will regret the negative consequences of the action.

But enough explaining. I'll let the discussion run it's course. Thanks for the optimism some of you have given me.
2004-10-18, 10:21 PM #17
Nah, you went for it, and that's more than a lot of people can say. The way that you delivered your message is straightforward, so you're pretty much on a collision course with destiny now, either she likes you back, doesn't, or is willing to date you and find out, that's what you'll find out tomorrow in school or whatever, so hey, there you have it. One thing though, a girl's vow of secrecy means NOTHING, I've made girls promise and they've told, I've been told things they've been promised not to tell, so... Yarr, take it as you will BUT - If you had a crush on this girl you're 1 step closer to getting together with her, or getting over with her, so feel good about that. (I've learned that most girls who press you about who you like usually like you too, so take that as a good sign, but don't call me on it :P)

In conclusion, good for you JL, I hope you get laid.
2004-10-18, 10:24 PM #18
I dont know man. I have been in this situation, where you are friends with a girl...you get in the convo about who your crush is, and you kinda tease them that it is anyone but them. Then...when they find out it is them, it usually hits them in a bad way. I don't know, but it isnt looking all that great for you. You will probably come out with a good friendship if you totally didnt freak her out. Is you liking her something she would not have guessed through normal day activities?
In Tribute to Adam Sliger. Rest in Peace

10/7/85 - 12/9/03
2004-10-18, 10:26 PM #19
Quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Legend
The reason I did it was exactly becasue my gut instinct was not to. I've lived my whole life fearing what I haven't experienced. Tonight, I conquered that fear. I took control of my fate. I still can't believe I did it.


And that my friends, is what I call taking the plunge
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-10-18, 10:27 PM #20
Quote:
Originally posted by Deadman

Pagwizard, I may be off on this but you seem to me like a very bitter individual.


no, i'm merely coldly calculating. Everything I do is for a reason.
2004-10-18, 10:30 PM #21
At least you did something. The next step is building on what you've gone, going a step further. ;)
Pissed Off?
2004-10-18, 10:31 PM #22
Quote:
Originally posted by Ubuu
I dont know man. I have been in this situation, where you are friends with a girl...you get in the convo about who your crush is, and you kinda tease them that it is anyone but them. Then...when they find out it is them, it usually hits them in a bad way.


I had a similar experience, and it blossomed into a very healthy relationship that lasted for more than 6 months... before crashing and burning in a flaming hell of tears and pain... But I'm sure that won't happen here.
:cool: JL 4 Prez
2004-10-18, 10:34 PM #23
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
no, i'm merely coldly calculating. Everything I do is for a reason.


Coldly calculating people are almost always

A Emotionally shut-off/crippled
B BITTER
C Lawyers (combination of A and B)
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-10-18, 10:36 PM #24
Good for you for having the guts to do something. Nothing worse than to die wondering.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-10-18, 10:36 PM #25
Quote:
Originally posted by Deadman
Coldly calculating people are almost always

A Emotionally shut-off/crippled
B BITTER
C Lawyers (combination of A and B)


the key word here is almost.

I pride myself on being somewhat of an anomaly.
2004-10-18, 10:38 PM #26
We'll see
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2004-10-18, 11:09 PM #27
It's always good when one can conquer their fears, yet it's bad when one moves in on someone elses woman. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? I've never let a girl come between my friends and I, and this is coming from someone who has been dating one of his best friends ex-girlfriends for +3 years. I always cared for her, but I was courteous enough to keep my feelings to myself, and cared for my friend enough to wait patiently for things to end, before receiving his blessing. If it's meant to be, it will be, regardless of who she's currently dating. Patience is a virtue, and although you feel good about conquering a fear, you've taken a big chance, and may have ruined a relationship or two in the process. I may be old fashioned though, so feel free to disagree.
2004-10-18, 11:33 PM #28
Man, I think you made the right choice. It would have been really akward sitting there on the phone in silence. I think she'll understand. You didn't do anything wrong.:)
2004-10-19, 3:15 AM #29
Quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Legend
I call say: "Caitlin."
Her: "yes?"
"That's the answer. Goodnight."
That's slick. Let us know what she says next time you see her.
2004-10-19, 4:36 AM #30
What you did wasn't really negative or positive it was just another way of handling it. She most likely will give you a responce the next time she sees you. I hope for the best for ya bud.
2004-10-19, 4:39 AM #31
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
I learned the hard way that two people can indeed keep a secret, as long as one of them is dead.


Just because you're so cold that no one in their right mind would tell you a secret, let alone attempt to establish any kind of intimate relation to begin with, doesn't mean anyone is.
The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
2004-10-19, 4:46 AM #32
This whole thread reminds me of something I might try if I was feeling particularly British one day.
Detty. Professional Expert.
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2004-10-19, 4:49 AM #33
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
I pride myself on being somewhat of an anomaly.


~cough~

He said it, not I!
"NAILFACE" - spe
2004-10-19, 4:52 AM #34
Nice!
"Well ain't that a merry jelly." - FastGamerr

"You can actually see the waves of me not caring in the air." - fishstickz
2004-10-19, 5:44 AM #35
Now, Im certainly in no postiion to give advice in this situation, but the following quote seems to fit the bill...
Quote:
Originally posted by Jon`C (a number of years ago)
I think the best thing you can possibly do, as a guy, is to express your deepest heartfelt emotions for her. Let her know how much you love her and how in touch you, a man, are with your feminine side. . . . . *snicker* . . . .
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2004-10-19, 5:52 AM #36
good job, and good luck
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2004-10-19, 6:07 AM #37
<3 gbk !!
2004-10-19, 7:14 AM #38
I would have given her a chance to talk personally but I can understand why you did what you did....and either way you took a big step. There is no specific 100% correct way of doing things, the simple fact that you're doing something is admirable. Nothing is worse than inaction followed by long haunting what if 's.

Good luck to you.
2004-10-19, 7:39 AM #39
Quote:
Originally posted by Pagewizard_YKS
no, i'm merely coldly calculating. Everything I do is for a reason.


Oh, fantastic, you must be exceptionally qualified to talk about matters of the heart then. I know I always look for my romantic advisors to have all the emotional charisma of a slab of granite. :rolleyes:
The Last True Evil - consistent nobody in the Discussion Forum since 1998
2004-10-19, 7:48 AM #40
Quote:
Even if he did, it was a simple answer. The ball is now in her court. I didn't ask her out or anything.


Movie reference -- 'the objective is to keep the ball in *your* court.'

A cookie to whoever knows where it's from. :p
woot!
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