It's 3 am, so I'm not in a state all that condusive to eloquence. I find it amusing that not so long ago, I was posting a thread about my bashfulness concerning first kisses, and now I'm considering posting this thread...

I got back from an honors dinner tonight and collapsed into a deep sleep, which was punctuated by a booty call. I thought I turned my phone off when I saw the caller ID, but I guess I didn't because she called again. I picked up, and this girl invited me over for sex. :/ (as an aside background, this isn't just 'some ho', I had taken her roomate on a date once and then we went to dinner and she brought her roomate, with whom it turned out I had a lot in common, and we've since been hanging out, cuddling, sleeping over, and hooking up)

According to my religious upbringing, I've always been against the notion of premarital sex, but this is a stance far more easily taken when girls don't pay attention to you than when they suddenly start following you around and suggesting it. I told this girl that I wasn't feeling so good, which was true, and I took a raincheck so I could sleep this off. But when I tried to go back to sleep, I couldn't - what with all these conflicting ideas warring in my mind. I will allow them to run loose for a moment:



It was at this point that I jumped out of bed and scampered on over to her room. I didn't hear any weird noises emanating from the room, and I knocked a few times, but I didn't get a response. I can only assume that she went to sleep, but of course I expect the worst.

What do you guys think? I know in the end it's a decision only I can make, but I'd really appreciate some outside insight, as I think I have way too many of my own differing opinions floating around.

I JUST WANT BANG BANG BANG

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME

Don't do anything you'll regret. Once something like this is done, it can't be un-done. Actions based purely on emotion are always extremely short-sighted.

If you like the girl and want to have relations with her, go for it. The whole waiting until marriage thing is somewhat ridiculous these days as people get married a whole lot later, most of the time. Biology works against it as well.

"See, what your problem is, is that you're placing the pussy up on a pedestal."

<3 40-year-old virgin

On that topic. While that may be true, I have no qualms with a guy having sex with a girl he knows he's gonna get married with.

But it doesn't sound like you've necessarily made that decision yet, and frankly, the whole "I'm 18, I am a man now" is the worst possible excuse for having sex, EVER. That's the sort of thing that you screw up on, wake up the next morning, and the girl is crying to her friend because she's pregnant and only in college.

For me, it's totally not worth the risk unless you are 100% ready to raise a child, should it happen.

Actually you're much more likely to get a disease than get pregnant. Even moreso if you're a guy.

But hey, as long as you take the necessary precautions there's nothing wrong with a little rumpy-pumpy. Girls get horny too, she probably just wanted some genital excercise with no complications. If you're up for it too then where's the harm?

On the note of religion: Bible calls against sexual immorality, but not against premarital sex (at least, I'm failing to recall any specific passage against premartial sex). Thus, "sexual immorality" seems to be up to personal interpretation.

If you do have sex, use a condom. And, if it becomes a regular thing, get tested periodically for STDs.

Although I am some what suspicious of girls who would just suddenly ask for sex... I will say this...

You only have 60-90 years on this planet. You have to make your time here worth it. Have sex,its enjoyable. Play computer games, go out to clubs and get drunk, learn to paint , learn to play an instrument, love your friends, do it all.

But most importantly, have lots of dirty humpage

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I'm with Wolfy. As a former Christian, I've always found it fascinating how young people buy in to the man-made rules regarding sex before marriage. The bible speaks out against adultery, not pre-marital sex. I believe that Christian men originally interpreted related scripture to suit their own agenda so that when they get married they can all sleep with virgins, and not have to worry about their woman comparing them to previous lovers (same thing applies to Muslims). With people getting married so late in life these days, you'd have to be insane to torture your manhood in this way. I've been having sex since I was 15 (now 26), and can tell you that I'm still a decent person, and while I've made some stupid decisions about who to sleep with, I was safe, and my current girlfriend doesn't mind my past one bit. As a matter of fact, if you don't want to be a disappointment in bed (let's face it, most women today are sexually experienced by the time they get married), you better get started soon. Half of the people on this forum are pretty big geeks, and if you can't satisfy your woman in bed, you sure as hell aren't going to do it with your JK editing skills, and she's not going to hang around for very long.

....what?

You mean that doesn't work?

- The sexual urge is a strong one (and for good reasons).

- God does make it clear in the Bible that sex outside of marriage is not good. Read: Genesis 2:24, Exodus 20:14 (part of the 10 Commandments), and 1 Cor 13:4-13. There are many more passages that talk about sex and marriage. Many of the relationship and family problems described in the Bible are a direct result of sex outside of marriage. By the way, when "adultery" is mentioned in the Bible, it means *all* sex outside of marriage. Those who tell you otherwise have failed in their study of the Bible.

- I married a woman who was a virgin.

- I was not a virgin when I met the woman I married. I am not sure how to describe the agony and sadness it brings me (and sometimes my wife) even after 8 years of marriage.

- After I had sex the first time, I did crave it all the time.

- The real decision for you should be whether you trust God's Word or not. If you do, then no sex before marriage; it is that simple. If you do not, then you are "free" to do whatever you want. Be warned that just because you don't believe something, doesn't mean it isn't true. There are consequences.

[My wife just read this and said, "It's nicely worded".]

<3!!

The Bible only commands people to remain loyal to one's spouse. It never once specifically speaks about premartial sex. If "adultery" is meant to be all-inclusive, shouldn't the translators use something other than "adultery" to describe it?

You got to the MBG quite long time go, logboy!

If it is your first time though, do it with someone special and not some booty call.

Just wanted to say ZeqMacaw's post was very nice, and that the Bible clearly states sex outside the boundaries of marriage is a sin.

Is it still technically "pre-marital" sex if one [intends] never [to get] gets married?

I have heard the interpretation that sleeping with someone who will eventually get married, or you yourself will get married, constitutes a sort of pre-emptive adultery. Or you could look at the bit where Jesus said something about if you look at a woman lustily that's the same as committing adultery in your mind or something.

However, being like Wolfy in that I never intend to get married, or even complicate matters with dating per se, a lot of that is rather academic.

I will posit, though, that first kisses aren't to be rushed. My own was rather immature and foolish; however since then that has been compensated for. Sew.

Conclusion: Use your head, not your hormones.

[and now, being home sick from work, I shall return to sleep]

Uh... every time it says 'fornication' in the Bible it's talking about pre-marital sex.

..but anyway, you need to bang her. Now. There's a reason why sex starts feeling good in your early teens. The best window of opportunity only really lasts into your mid twenties, and you're wasting it because some crusty old book tells you to?! Here's a hint: during the times that book was written about, people GOT MARRIED in their early teens. Thus, the advice it offers about waiting to get married until sex is wholly redundant for them, but for us, it simply doesn't make any sense at all. Sex was meant to be had during your teens, otherwise, you would go through puberty later.

Sex before marriage can cause problems with the relationship you have with your spouse, like Zeq said. That's enough reason to wait right there.

Er, how exactly? Yes, going around banging any one who will put out could cuase some problems, but that not really going to be a problem if two people care for each other.

Therein lies the problem. You read the bible as if it is a document of how our bodies work. While certainly it can be interpreted this way, most true Christians do not read the bible solely for the tips it has on keeping us healthy and productive.

I read the bible as to how we should live our lives. You don't have sex before your married because it's God's Word. If you want to be a true Christian, you will listen to God's Word.

But if you don't, there's no real sense in reading the Bible, unless you just like the stories :/

(This is not in offense to any other religions or beliefs, just as to how Christians, who really want to be Christians, should be living their lives. If they don't want to be, then stop pretending to be Christian.)

As a non-Christian, I'd like to see the Christian evidence within the bible that speaks out about pre-marital sex. In the modern sense of the word, adultery is having sexual relations with someone else, if you're married. Where in the scripture does god specifically tell people not to have sex before marriage, and if you're simply referring to adultery, please provide evidence that your definition of adultery is actually the same as god's.

While the 10 commandments do specify adultery, there are multiple instances in the bible that specify that fornication (sex between unmarried couples) in addition to adultery as being bad.

The Corinthians letters are good references for this.

CoolMatty and Freelancer are right. I just didn't know the fornication referred specifically to sex between unmarried people.

through my interpertation of the Bible (carefully looking at this issue through new and old testmant), when you have sex with someone you marry them, and that is why you better be sure about that person you have sex with.

sex = marrage
not
ceremony = marrage

the latter is just a piece of paper along with vows, and an open statement on record,

Why the hell would you tap just anyone? That would make you a man whore, not a lover. Wait until you love someone.

Sex != Loves

[edit]I'm not disagreeing w/ you SAJN, I'm a virgin and I don't plan to have sex the first time (or any time really) with a girl I don't "love" (in quotes to display subjectiveness of term).

...because it's fun.

Why the hell would you play a video game?
Why the hell would you watch a movie?
Why the hell would you go mountain biking?
Why the hell would you read a book?

Same reason.

Truer words were never spoken.

I hope that was sarcasm. If not you need a check up from your neck up.

Same reason, different situation. I agree with you to some extent... but it's not directly comparable with those... unless you're just talkin' about the principle of the thing

Correct. In fact, even just 500 years ago in the time of Shakespeare girls would marry at their 13th birthday, and the proof is right there in Romeo and Juliet.

No, it's most definitely not sarcastic, and calling me crazy is not a valid defense. Explain why I'm crazy.

Grismath, it should boil down to this:

Do what you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with having sex prior to marriage, then your net enjoyment will be nil. Do some introspective thinking and determine whether or not you feel that the morals you grew up with still suit you.

Your not, people just make way too much out of sex now adays, and it's becoming more of a problem not because people are having too much sex, but because people are allowing society, bibles, and whatever else to condition them into thinking it's bad. It's only bad if you're not treating it respectfully and responsibly: It ISN'T some sacred experience that changes you forever and should be treated like.... well, like it's a "gift." It's romping. It's humping. and if you're looking to make a baby, it's love. But it's NOT some sacrifice of morals, ideals, or innocence.

Put it this way: If you're following the speed limit because the law says you have to, not because you actually believe that we should be following the speed limit, than your morals are weak, and that's why it's hard for you to not speed.

Basically, define the instance for yourself: Are you not doing it because it's really YOUR morals, or because you don't want to be in trouble because it's someone else's?

JediKirby

Great explanation. Wolfy put it quite succintly, too.

So gris, what are you doing?