The concise summary: My roommate "exorcise" a demon from a 15 year-old through the use of a cellphone by reading passages from the bible.

During my college winterbreak, my 18 years-old roommate told me he received spiritual powers from God. These powers entailed him the ability to exorcise a demon from a 15 years-old girl named Carolyn (friend of his 14 years-old girlfriend who he met over the net....let's not go there). Now I usually don't smile or laugh that often, but when he told me this I had to do my best to contain a chuckle and a smile. Apparently he didn't do that well of a job as last night, she was repossessed.

Okay so last night, while I was playing Resident Evil 4 and Indigo Prophecy (a bit ironic I played this game, while this event occured) with my roommate and his friend present in the room. My roommate started to read bible passages from the bible to his cellphone with Carolyn on the other end. I can recall overhearing him saying something about her room being "pitched black" and that she was feeling some "stomach pains due to the fact that Satan was transferring his pains from hearing bible passages over to her." At certain points, he even addressed Satan directly and challenged him to possess him instead of her. He also used lines such as "Father please do not let this girl continue to suffer and let me bear her burden" and "The power of Christ compels you." He then ends the conversation with her exorcised of the demon I believe, and wishes her a "I love you" and a "Good night, I'll hope the Lord will be with you every hour."

So I asked him this morning how he knows that the girl was possessed. He replies because of her drastically changed counternance. I replied that counternance is facial expression and then he says that her voice changed to " a really deep voice full of hate." I also ask him how does he know this is not a mental disorder such as bipolarity, and he disregards it by saying this is not the case. Next, I said there seems to be a lack of concrete evidence to her being possessed, but he goes on to say that there is a lot of "faith evidence" whatever the hell that means. I also asked why the devil didn't just shut off the cell phone. He replied that he did, but he called the girl back. I retort with why a devil would stupidly answer the call back, and his response was that he wanted to play games with him.

give me his CC hotline, i'll donate every penny to his crusade!

haha, too bad!

And I thought I had interesting roomates...

I like how he "explains" your questions. And can I get his number. I had stomach pains this afternoon.

Your room mate should play Doom 3. I bet he'd like that. At the very least it would make him stop being weird to people.

is he a cynical chainsmoker?

My left nut hurts, it must be possessed by a pigmy demon.

"Who ya gonna call?"

Men in Black with the small white collar thingy and the crosses and the bibles.

Well, exorcising demons could be a healthier hobby than summoning demons... At the very least he might not need to grasp a dagger.

Heh, my mother's boss is a bit like that. The company doesn't have that much money, so the employees don't have that much, too. So this coworker of my mother bought himself a really nice armchair, not quite cheap. But apparently he couldn't sleep very well a few days after he bought the chair.
Luckily his boss new what was wrong. The chair was possessed by a demon. After he had burnt the brand new chair it didn't pose a threat anymore...

Hey, at least his God-given powers are pretty harmless. Now, if he start's wearing leather gloves and carrying an axe and a list with your name on it, RUN.

Jesus christ. I'd kill that boss. Or make him buy a new chair.

That must have been one retarded demon. :p An armchair?

No way! Cell phone exorcisms! What will technology give us next?

Please don't use someone like that as a basis for a Christian stereotype.


The power of Massassi compels you! :p

AIM exorcisms!





Actually he does have it, but it doesn't stop him from being weird to people. I forgot to ask him if the girl thinks she is possesed.

I've heard testimonies from my old youth pastor that dealt with people that were demon possessed. There really is something to that stuff, and I personally don't take it lightly.

Indeed. Possessions are very much real. The medical field has a term for it, called "psychosis."

<LindaBlair001> omg im teh devel
<FatherPriest> omfg no wai
<LindaBlair001> wai
<FatherPriest> d00d get out
<LindaBlair001> lol no d00d u sux wit the christ
<LindaBlair001> rofl luk at wut im doing wit teh crewsiffix
<FatherPriest> wtf no ew
<LindaBlair001> 3:)

This is one reason I am not a Christian.

How do you know when you get spiritual powers from God?

When your girlfriend's friend has cramps, she calls you, you start aimlessly reading the Bible, and you end the conversation with "I love you" to her.

No. That when you know if forgot the pregnancy pills that certain night awhile ago.

What's happening in these situations is that people take a few things that they've read or know about scripture and start applying them. This is admirable. The problem is that often they don't really understand exactly what's going on.

While I do believe in demon posession (I've seen enough things to make that a no brainer for me, including real exorcisms), I also believe that exorcism should be a last resort, and should not be done lightly or experimented with. Your roommate's opening himself up to all kinds of nasty stuff by putting himself on the line. Also, I don't believe that it would be accurate for him to speak directly to Satan. Satan's not the one possessing the girl (if she is in fact possessed). It's a demon. Or possibly multiple demons. All too many Christians seem to think they're going up against Satan himself, and they'll say things like, "Come out of her, SATAN! In the NAME OF GOD!" And the demon's sitting there laughing and saying, "Hehe, that Christian thinks I'm Satan..."

Real... exorcism....
Holy **** people, get off the God damn acid.

This guy is also setting himself up to be a credited Priest some day. He's already going for minors, now he just has to go for males.

What is a "demon" anyway? What do they look like? Why do they "exist"?

Yes, Kirbs... Real exorcism. I don't expect you to believe me, but it's pretty nasty. Nothing like you see on tv though... Just a lot of screaming and stuff. I've literally heard a demon-posessed girl roar like a lion (like she seriously sounded like a lion. The noise was not something that human vocal chords should be capable of, especially female vocal chords.)

They exist as devil propaganda for children to improve brainwashing techniques. Why follow God when there is no punishment for not?

Echo, they don't "look" like anything. They're spiritual beings, like angels... They don't have physical bodies. And their job is basically to carry out the commands of their master, Satan.

[And Kirbs, you don't follow God cause you'll be punished for not. You follow Him because He created you and wants to have a relationship with you.

Hahaha. OK. Can you get ahold of the priest that saved this girl? There's a little thing called the million dollar challenge that I'm sure he could use to further his work with God. And don't tell me he wouldn't do it for money, what do you think he does now? Priest gotta eat. Besides, they're perfectly cool with taking people's money in a bowl with a stick attached every sunday, anyway.

Conclusion: You're room mate is an idiot.

uhh.. actually, it was my dad. He's a pastor. And he doesn't go around begging for money.

He runs the church and tunes pianos on the side.

Somehow I gather this involved walking into a beam. A beam of metal, mind you.

Haha, you're dads bat-****ing-looney. He passed some on to you, too, it seems.

Seriously, if you think someone "roaring like a lion" is proof they were possessed by a spiritual creature that follows the guidelines you were taught in elementary school, and that your dad is some crime-fighting-superhero who's alter-ego is a piano tuner, then you need to be strapped to a bed.

Call me an *******, but you're out of your mind.

You're an *******. Cut it out.

I have to agree with kirby for the most part. All this is so BS.

Yes, he wants a relationship with you and you darn well better give it to him.

On Earth, we call this rape.

Saying, "It's BS" and "Your father's a looney" are two different things.

How is he not looney? Honestly...
I'd call anyone looney who acted like what Sarn is describing. Because it's his father, I'm not going to limit my opinion to his sensativity... or yours.