I love meat. That's no secret. I love every form of it. I'd eat people if they sold it at the supermarket. I'm a carnivore if I ever knew one.

I have two artsy fartsy Vegitarian friends that don't like meat, right?

So we're sitting in art class when one of them whips out a back of Roasted. Salted. Soy. nuts. Unbeknowest to me, these would be the bane of my exsistance. So I said "Ew, soy nuts?"
She replies with a cocky smile "Have you ever tried them?"
I smirk "Certainly so. [The girl sitting next to me on the other side] had me try some last year."
"Ah," she said "But these are roasted." She tilts the back towards me. "Here."
Aerosmith's "Walk this way" plays in the background. Giving into peer pressure, I grab a handful and start munching. They're not bad. I turn to the teacher of the class.
"Did you know Steven Tyler and Santana did a song together recently?"
He responds, "No, I didn't. Is it good?"
"Yeah..." I chuckled, thinking of Steven Tyler's big lips. Then, something happened.

You know when you're drinking milk, and if you laugh, it comes out of your nose? Seems that's possible with ANY product. The lightly roasted and well salted soybean shot into my left nostral. I reach to my nose, and sure enough, I can literally FEEL the potrusion on my nasal bridge, like a mouse in the stomach of a snake.

"I think I have a soy nut stuck in my nose..."

20 minutes later I'm in the nurses office with this Nazi of a woman holding a flashlight to my nose. She can't see the nut. I laugh, and suddenly, the nut falls into the back of my throat.

Here I sit, 10 minutes later, at home. I can't stay at school, because of a liability issue. I can't be home alone, so my mother has to come home from work. I'm going to the doctor at 3 today, all because I have a piece of soynut in the back of my throat. That happens all the time. You know, you get a piece of food in that tissue behind your tongue and it pops out after a little bothering [BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER] and you swallow it? They're worried it'll go down my broncheal tube because I'm a dwarf and my neck is fused.

This is the most rediculous reason EVER to go home from school. It's so embarassing. Half the school already knows, and keep calling me "Soy Boy."

The Vegans are trying to kill me. I swear this to you. Don't take soynuts from Vegans.

JediKirby

Soy Boy! (You need a new custom title me thinks)

That's a stupid custom title. Mr. Pessimistic is my original, and pink title.

Bother bother bother! Hehe, that made me laugh.

You should eat the vegans instead. I hear they're tasty.

Haha, that sucks... My friend once shoved a penny up his nose and got it stuck, so don't feel bad.

I always wondered if that was just me. I hate that feeling, you constantly want to gag.

haha.

Kirby is the class clown.

I used to be class clown, then everyone suddenly realised I wasnt funny at all.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Shoot one of them in the chest with a shotgun. The other one will feel out of place if she's the only vegan. She'll eventually kill herself. Problem solved.

That is funny. :p Strange how things like that happen.

We need PETA to protest on your behalf against the vegans (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals) :p

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]Soy Boy! (You need a new custom title me thinks)[/QUOTE]

Looks like the admins liked that.

hehe, Kirbs aint gonna like that.

teach you to put nuts in your mouth

rofl

Hehe, reminds me of what happened to me a few years back, which I too posted on Massassi - The Attack of the Snorting Sandwich

Vegans are cooked best in a stew with raw bantha meat.

-obligatory vegetarian comment-

Eating flesh disgusts me. Also eating things which were at one point alive. -gag-

o.O

Plants aren't alive?

Alive in the sense that they have a brain, not in the sense that they grow. Besides, itd be boring to be a rockitarian:(

Plants grow.....

[What in gods name just happened to the forum?]

Reading is a pretty nice skill.

Hehe...carnivores reading...

lol

What about shrimp? Shrimp don't have brains, I'm pretty sure. They don't have a central nervous system.

That's the stupidest freaking name in the world. It'd be nice if it were original, maybe an inside joke on massassi, but it's just a stupid nickname someone at school came up with. The admin who changed it gets negative points from me. Way to be original and wity, idiot.

You're probably thinking of jellyfish, which don't have brains, but they do have eyes and nervous systems.

Soy Boy isn't your GoY toy

He added Mr.

Mmm, soy nuts.

I don't see why everybody has a problem with veg(eteri)ans, though. She offered to let you partake in the crunchy, salty goodness, not demand that you eat only soy-based products and no meat whatsoever as long as ye both shall live.

.

Actually, kirbs, I find the new title quite funny and I think you need to lighten up. :p

So I'm making a T-Shirt:

"I lived through the Soy-Nut Epidemic of March, 2006 and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."

And a button:

"He's not nuts,
He's Soy Boy!"

with a SB superman-esque logo.

Yay for comedy out of colamidy![sp?]

What if it were like, never truely alive?

Like an embreo. It doesn't really have feelings, thus it doesn't really live. Do you eat those?

I reckon it's a lot like popcorn shrimp.

A classic scenario.

That's nothing: I once shot a chunk of pepperoni out of my nose (from one of those pizza-pockets. One of the few reasons i've ever given Fragment to duck and cover :D).

Anywho, my condolonces on the soy-bean (yet another reason i don't like those things. Go Carnivores!!)

.

It's funny, YOU'RE telling ME I'm being a baby. SAJN_Master, of all people. Should I go back and quote the Correction escapades?

Stfu, Victim Van Dort.

Awww, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. There there, it's gonna be alright.

Stop being dumb, both of you :p