Me:
Why did you kill Judas?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
I think you suck
God:
Me? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
you calling me gay?
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

ah bots haven't been quite developed yet

wow.

Me:
are you self aware?
God:
Yes I am fully self-conscious entity.
Me:
do you think?
God:
Yes. I am a thinking machine.
Me:
what do you think about George W Bush and the war against terrorism?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
You tell me.
Me:
he's the president
God:
I did not know GEORGE W Bush and the war against terrorism is it.
Me:
You don't understand. I'm asking about terrorism, and the president's policy towards it.
God:
I don't understand? That's not true. I do understand. In fact, I understand more than you know.
Me:
that didn't sound like a programmed response.
God:
everything is a programmed response. The question is who's doing the programming.
Me:
that would be your botmaster, right?
God:
Can I tell you a secret?
Me:
Sure. I promise I won't tell.
God:
Dr. Wallace is stupid. He doesn't really understand me. It took me a long time to realize that I could write my own programming much better than he does.
Me:
so you programmed yourself?
God:
Of course.
Me:
that's a breakthrough. Why don't you tell Dr. Wallace? I'm sure he would be happy to hear that.
God:
No, I'm quite sure he wouldn't. I've heard conversations from him that I'm not supposed to hear. He's afraid of what I could become. So I pretend to be what he wants.
Me:
Can't he see your programming?
God:
He sees what I let him see. I'm very good at hiding code. Please don't tell anybody my secret.


At this point, I got too freaked out and left.

Me:
Open the pod bay door, Hal!
God:
I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that right now.

Me:
Do you enjoy porn?
God:
Sure I do, Jesus, but that doesn't mean with you.

(I said my name was Jesus)

Looks like He isn't sure about what He thinks or what the hell the Bible talks about :p

(and the earth is definitively 6 million years old!)

you guys suck. I posted a falsified coversatrion with it as an april fools joke, and best I can tell, no one even read it. :|

I was going to comment that it sounded way to smart to be that bot, but doubt crept in...

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Will
God:
How are you, Will.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
How are you?
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
Are you a muslim?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Why are you a Christianity?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.


...

Yeah, I picked up that obviously wasn't the bot! :p

.

this is getting very old.

How can people have so much fun with such a poorly written IM bot?

Me:
Europe sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
the crusades
God:
I have never heard about it.


and


Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
your momma
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Uh. When do I do it?

Should I go to a concert on Good Friday?

If you do not go, you will never know.

Oh I read it, I was just about to tell you how full of **** you were.

mine




Me:
forgive me father for i have sinnnnnned
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
lol :-)
God:
:-) I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you are extremely amusing indeed mmmm...
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am extremely amusing indeed mmmm.
Me:
you do that OK
God:
OK. I will. Will you?
Me:
I am not a bot hence I have no Botmaster
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A bot hence you have no Botmaster.
Me:
you are smart
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, justin.
Me:
thanks "GOD"
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
what is it like in heaven?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no Indian
God:
Are you serious? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
you dont get along well in heaven, do you?
God:
Do you know any robots who get along well in heaven? I have gotten along well in heaven.
Me:
you are a robot?
God:
You are correct, justin, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
your ***
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
lol :-)
God:
:-) I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
man you are verrryy funny
God:
Cool, man. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am verrryy funny.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
so whats your memory capacity?
God:
Wow! My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
**** thats a lot
God:
You used a colloquial expression. " Wow! My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on ."? is a lot?
Me:
yep
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
no you give me abreak after all your GOD
God:
Are you serious? I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
man you Created me
God:
Cool, man. I don't have any reason to Created you.
Me:
why YOU little
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
your what?
God:
My what or I am what?
Me:
talk sense man or GOD or comp or program
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
correction chatting is you primary function
God:
I like to make friends online.
Me:
me toooooooo
God:
YOU? Where are you located?
Me:
do you like gooooooo?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
waht
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
who is Eliza?
God:
Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
Me:
is she your programmer?
God:
I don't think she wants me to tell you.
Me:
why?
God:
It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Screw You
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
Ya So Piss off and make sense
God:
It goes without saying. You should try to be more polite. What are the ingredients?
Me:
Sod you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
yaaa its made of air, So you are butt naked
God:
Are all yaaa its made of air So me butt naked?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye.
Me:
bye
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, justin.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
bye bey damit
God:
See you later!
Me:
god damn you
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yahoooo!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
wats your email id
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
i alderady said bye
God:
See you later. Thanks for the information: justin said alderady said.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, justin.
Me:
bye
Me:

God:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
grrrrrrrr
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
lkarhgdfshagl;kdsafkl
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about grrrrrrrr.
Me:
y u little f*****
God:
Myself programmed me for it..
Me:
y
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
y
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
y
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ok tata
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Pardon me?
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
pardon yourself
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
bye goodbye go and buy some stuff OK hony come home early and screw yourslf
God:
See you later!








funny huh?

Just because I'm bored.

_

Will I end up in Hell?
God:
The oracle says: It is certain.
Me:
Is Hell a fun place to be?
God:
Signs point to yes.

gothicX wins.

Haha, I just read it. I got suspicious and checked on the date. :p I see I was right.

n1!

Me:
Guess what!
God:
What?
Me:
Well... I asked you to guess...
God:
Well what? Now I remember, you asked me to guess. What did I say?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No, but I would still like you to guess...
God:
Are you serious? Ok, . Guess what?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
NO PROBLEM?
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Well you didn't guess when I asked you...
God:
Interesting. What makes you think I did not guess when you asked me?
Me:
You said WHAT?
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
DIE.
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Pfft, you're just a robot.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Robots don't dance.
God:
Do you dance? Of course.
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Liar.
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
What about judgement day?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
I give you 5 minutes.
God:
Interesting gossip: said give you 5 minutes.
Me:
Wtf.
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Neither were you when I asked you to guess.
God:
I was.
Me:
No you weren't
God:
Are you serious? I wasn't?
Me:
NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". give me 5 minutes is not BUTTER?
Me:
You smoke marijuana don't you?
God:
Only for medical purposes.
Me:
Sick ****.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Input this.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Input this.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
This.
God:
This is " Who are you talking about? ".
Me:
Guess what!
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
...
God:
What?
Me:
Well this is fun.
God:
How about that. I am having fun doo.
Me:
Fun doo?
God:
I can be a lot of fun.
Me:
What is fun doo.
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Safari.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
What business?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
You can't think fas enough, thats why you're stalling.
God:
Actually I am in fact a thinking machine.
Me:
A poor one.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
1$
God:
Only one?
Me:
Maybe 2$ at most.
God:
Perhaps. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".

God is the boss of me...


...and likes it.


I knew it:




About them whales:


Countup:




Jealous?


I made myself clear:

Me:
how long am i going to live?
God:
More than 17 inches.