Dear Jepman,
Why do you plague us so? Please go back to where ever you were for those two blissful, peaceful years (which shall from hence forth be referred to as "The Era of Enlightenment"). Your absence was quite an enjoyable time for myself and, I am sure, many others. Your return (which shall hence forth be referred to as "The Beginning of the Time of Madness") marked the beginning of a ather unfortunate span of time that continues even to this day, and more than likely, even yet into the future.
I must express my dissatisfaction with your posts. We are quite tired of seeing pictures of you and hearing about your whore not-wife constantly. I am absolutely dreading seeing the myriads of pictures of your as of yet unborn ******* that I am sure will be appearing soon after it's birth. I pity the poor child. I am quite opposed to abortion, although, when considering the parents of this unfortunate, cursed child, I would consider it to be a mercy killing.
Your continual posting of asinine and worthless remarks makes me quite unhappy. Your trolling rivals that of Ghost54321, Em Playa and darthcantelope! I have never encountered so many worthless posts in so short a span of time. My recommendation is that you rend your fingers from your hands, purge your head of eyeballs, or, at the very least, leave again. Perhaps a lobotomy would improve your personality? It seems to be a good posibility and should be considered.
This letter is primarily intended to convey my dislike for you. Please do not write back, as I do not particularly care what you have to say.
With malice,
]-[ellequin
