OK, so after a butt-long time, we (and by that I mean Tracer) finally got a script to work on for this lil' radio dealie. We're still revising on it and such, but as it is, we have our cast of characters. In order of appearance, here they are (if they have a profile, clicking their name will go to it):
Of the above, The Narrator, The Last True Evil, Kirby, and Losien are probably the most important. The Last True Evil, in particular, needs a really good voice actor, as far as I'm concerned. Below are 2 or 3 sample lines for each character. These are not necessarily the lines that'll be in the final script. Please audition for as many parts as you would want to do.
The Narrator - the narrator of the actions in NeS
"In a non-descript motel room in the non-descript city of London, England, a man sits on his bed assembling a small device. The man is a former Soviet agent known as The Last True Evil, and the device is a nuclear detonator which, when completed, will surely be the end of this normal city."
"Suddenly, the door is kicked off its hinges and two armed secret agents burst into the room."
"Gebohq cracks Galvatron across the head with his pool cue, correcting the error but leaving Galv with a large dent in his casing."
(Gebohq --
GEH-bock/
GEB-ock. Experiment with pronunciation if you wish, but it's unlikely to be different. The nickname Geb is pronounced with a short e, not a long e.)
Krig the Viking - simple and deranged dwarfen Norse Viking
"Krig think leftovers delicious."
"Gashapo?" (trying to say "Gestapo")
The Mega_ZZTer - standard NeS hero, tech-geek type
"The Soviet Union collapsed over a decade ago. You're nothing but leftovers."
"Geb couldn't make it, so we're on special assignment to bust you up. So, get ready to get busted...up."
The Last True Evil - former Soviet Russian spy, often the largest villainous threat in NeS
"I see. And where is my arch-nemesis Gebohq?
"Apologies, uh...tovarish. It's just that I don't know you very well, and being evil with someone is a very intimate thing. I was just thinking that you and I could talk a little and spend some time learning about each other." (silence) "Shall I begin with the story of my conception?" (Kirby says no) "My mother was a concubine, my father none other than Rasputin himself. It was a chance encounter in one of old Vladivostok's back-alleys..."
"I love you, Losien. NeS quirkiness be damned."
(Losien --
low-SEE-in or
LOW-see-in. Experiment with other pronunciations if you wish.)
(NeS --
"nes" as it's spelled or
En-ee-es.)
Kirby - similar to the Nintendo puffball icon, he usually works behind the scenes of the NeS.
"Hi guys! I'm here to help!"
"Look, I'm all for this emotional sharing, but listening to you talk gives me ants in the pants."
"Look, we're in their base. Are you sure you don't want to kill the heroes in a wild orgy of destruction?"
Agent #1 - an agent sent to retrieve The Last True Evil
"Area secure! We've found him!"
"Sorry. I was just going to keep repeating it until the situation made sense."
Agent #2 - an agent sent to retreive The Last True Evil
"Sir, are you alright?"
"I know. You've said that three times."
Galvatron - a NeS hero/robot. Don't concern yourself with trying to sound like a robot, however.
"Dear God! It's The Last True Evil! In our base!"
"In the Hall of Heroes! Our home!"
Gebohq - the "main character"/leader of the NeS heroes.
"So, what's it going to be, Last True Evil? One final explosive showdown so destructive it could prove to be the end of us all?"
"Look Maybechild, being a hero isn't about the rewards – it's about knowing you made a difference in the lives of others."
"You should go, Losien. We can handle this."
Maybechild - an important NeS hero, she often serves as the unofficial leader
"We don't have a security net. You bought a pool table instead, remember?"
"But it's The Last True Evil! He always tries to kill us!
(in response to being told she's too stressed) "Yeah, well I also used to not do all the work around here. You run around without a care in the world and leave me to solve whatever problem you're currently ignoring. And then when I'm done you take all the credit!"
Losien - Gebohq's sister. She is known for her lack of confidence.
(being given a rose) "Aw, a rose. That's so sweet." (pause) "Why is everybody hiding?"
"Um...why did you kill that man?"
"...you love me?"
CookedHaggis - Psychotic Scotsman suppressed by years of training as a snooty French waiter-type
"Perhaps we'd best warm up to the idea that the Last True Evil has hung up his world domination hat and decided to settle down."
(contemptuous snort) "All this coming from a man who can't even wear his bloint properly.
Super S51 - random NeS hero
(exasperated) "It's a hat!"
"I'm with Maybechild here. We've got to do something, blast it!"
waiter - standard high-class restaurant waiter
"And what will we be having this evening?"
"And for the lady?"
"Very good."
manager - owner of high-class restaurant
"You'll be paying for this damage!"
Al of Al's Firearm Emporium - owner of a weapons shop
"No sir! I swear! It's the deadliest weapon ever created!"
"Sugar dumpling, attack!"
Ares - the Greek god of war.
"Al... Here's the situation: I've come into your place of business looking to make a purchase. Money is no object. Am I adequately communicating myself to you?"
"Can I give it a different name? Like 'killer' or 'spike'? I mean, even 'Amanda' inspires more fear than 'Sugar Dumpling.'"
"Sugar Dumpling -- attack!" (silence) "Sugar Dumpling?"
Sugar Dumpling - cutest puppy/superweapon of mass destruction
(A range of cute puppy dog noises. He only has one "line," but it's still a puppy that just makes puppy sounds. It's not like Scooby-Doo or something. )
"Arf arf?"
British pedestrian - self-explainitory
"Watch it! Bloody tourists..."
(thinking he's being called Sugar Dumpling) "What are you calling me?"
