So about a month and a half ago I moved into an apartment. My ex-girlfriend moved in with me (we were still together) but she wasn't on the lease, she just moved some of her stuff in with me and stayed with me. We broke up the other night, she left all of her stuff here and I took her key.

I have been speaking to her mother, and we agreed that she could have all of her stuff back if she returned the stuff she had of mine (namely, my Wii). So she tried to set up a time, and the time she wanted didn't work, I had other plans.

I got home tonight and received a phone call from her, but it wasn't really from her. It was from the police and they demanded that I allow her entrance into my apartment or I would be placed under arrest.

I told them I had no problem with her entering as long as I was present and could account for the things she was removing, and as long as I received my things back from her. They told me I was being difficult and presented a risk, so they placed me in hand-cuffs and told me if I said anything else they would place me under arrest.

They searched me, took my keys from me, entered my apartment, allowed her to take everything she claimed was hers without allowing me to verify it, and would not allow me to say anything.

After she took the things out of the apartment, they asked me if I was satisfied with the resolution. I told them no, she still had my wii system. The officer in charge said "Ok ma'am, can you bring out his oh so important GAMING system and she did, and she 'stumbled' and dropped it on the concrete in front of my apartment. I asked that they acknowledge she did that and that if it didn't work she would be responsible for it, and they said "no, it was an accident. It's yours, she returned it to you, deal with it."

I feel like I was completely violated here. I have a restraining order against me and everything and I was being totally civil about the entire thing. I was willing to trade all of our things and this happened. Was all of this legal?

Yeah, you took a bit of a reaming, but it really was just a gaming system.

The ***** called the police about exchanging stuff? How'd you get into this kind of a relationship where the breakup was that hostile?

And being handcuffed for being precautions about your **** isn't right at all.

Uhhh.... don't the police need a warrant to enter your house?

Too bad the cops are going to perjure themselves if you try to take legal action.

Yeah uh, NEVER let cops in your house without a warrant.

Period.

I'm kind of with Kirby on this one. You move in together and then break up with cops and a restraining order 6 weeks later? What the hell, dude.. I mean seriously.

Oh, and when cops ask to enter, request their badge numbers and phone dispatch to verify that it's legit at the very least.

If it turns out that they were his ex's new boyfriends wearing halloween costumes I will laugh.

FYI if they actually were impersonating law enforcement you can send both of them and your ex to federal prison for a long time.

Ok so technically I guess I don't have a restraining order against me seeing I wasn't issued any papers whatsoever. She may still file one, but I will fight it and win seeing as I haven't demonstrated any hostile behavior against her.

Here is an exact copy of the email I sent to her just before I was contacted by the police. Tell me if a judge can determine this as threatening.

"I am trying to move on Sarah. I love you very much, you are a good person and I am a good person. I just want to move on with my life. I want to return your stuff. I want you to return mine. I gave you my heart and my soul, just give back the physical belongings. I thank you so much for allowing me to mature as an adult and become a man who has known true love. I will always have a place for you in my heart and I do want to remain friends. I think we can be very good friends if we allow time for ourselves to heal. I will be available tomorrow morning at 8:30 to exchange belongings. Please don't make this more difficult than it has to be. If tomorrow morning doesn't work for you we can find another time. I just want this to be done."

Don't ask massassi, ask a lawyer. My girlfriend already was in similar situations and in her experience the one who gets the lawyer first wins.
Your ex might have a headstart with contacting the police first.

don't give us your bloody love-letters, get a lawyer

Something doesn't sound right to me. You're saying you have a restraining order, then not...?

What would you have been placed under arrest for? You can't really be arrested for not shutting up on demand...nor for refusing entry (barring a warrant/exigent circumstances)...

I have a feeling there's more to the story somewhere.

Oh..and if you can afford it, you may want to call a lawyer. asap.

Yeah get a lawyer before other imaginary charges fall in your lap.

Yeah, because women aren't crazy *****es, and law enforcement doesn't treat women differently than men.

1) Woman calls police, claims boyfriend is threatening her life, has put hands on her. Police issue a protection from abuse. Boyfriend is really across town having drinks with his buddies, but this doesn't matter.

2) Man calls police, claims girlfriend is attacking him. Calls because he's not going to physically restrain a crazy *****. Police laugh at him. Nothing happens.

Both cases are realistic and happen here on an every day basis.

This whole story doesn't really make sense. First there's a restraining order then there isn't. Next you get a phonecall and talk to the cops and in the next moment they've handcuffed you.
I'm inclined to think there's a fair bit missing here.

They violated your rights in every way imaginable. Don't settle for suing her; sue the police department too.

Ah, the great American tradition, solve everything with lawsuits! Sue everything!

to be fair, you brits gave us the idea.

Yeah, instead of suing, he should totally just deal with it himself. Oh wait, no, that's a horrible idea.

Um, I'm pretty sure lawsuits exist just for situations like this.

The officers told me I wasn't allowed to drive on her street (not by her house, but on her street at all) which is fine, I don't care. He also said I'm not allowed to contact her or her family, which is also fine with me. There is no official document stating this, but it sure sounds like a restraining order. I hope that cleared up any of the confusion on that end.

um... so... those weren't real cops? A police officer can't just say "You aren't allowed to 'x'" because a police officer is not able to either write or interpret the law. And every restraining order I've heard of has a distance, not an arbitrary requirement like that.

Call your lawyer.

I'm of the belief there is more to this than we're hearing. Police officers tend to be careful about their actions, seeing as how people are more than willing to misinterpret their actions and sue the department because of it.

However, assuming this story is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, this seems like a case a civil attorney would get happy in the pants about.

And if they were just a couple of idiots posing as officers, it's a case that would make a prosecutor happy in the pants.

I'm hoping it's the latter. Try going to the police department and see if you can verify with them that police officers were at your house around the time you say they were.

The e-mail's not threatening in the least. There's nothing in there that's even an implied threat.

I'm also pretty sure that accidental property damage is still property damage.

It seems pretty obvious from what you've given us that you were screwed over, so it's probably worthwhile for you to get a real lawyer. Counselor Massassi only has a JD in making stuff up.

The only thing I haven't told you guys is why we broke up. She got drunk and told me that she had installed a keylogger on my computer and knew all of my passwords to everything. I didn't believe her until she told me what all of my passwords were, so I got pissed off and demanded that she give me her key and leave.

Proceed slowly. Call the police department and ask them which two officers, or if any officers were at your apartment. Make it really casual, so that if those were officers, they're not alerted to anything.

Also: The keylogger thing is hilarious.

If those were real cops, you can pretty much sue your police department out of existence for gross violation of your rights. If they were not real cops, you can send them to a Federal PMITA prison for a very long time.

I called the police department and I got the names of the officers. Additionally, they can restrain me if they feel I am a risk, and they do have authority to enter my apartment with her to retrieve her belongings without my consent "because they are hers." They were performing a civil service escort.

What happened that made them consider you a threat?

I initially refused them entry. They told me I was resisting the authority of the law and that if I didn't step out of my apartment they would come in and arrest me for that. Me not knowing anything about what they can and cannot do didn't want to risk it so I came outside. They placed me in hand cuffs I'm assuming because I resisted initially.

While I agree you should get a lawyer for this reason...there is a cap on how much you can get...pretty much so you can't sue them out of existence.

They're telling you where you can go and who you can talk to, but they haven't actually served you with a restraining order? This isn't right.

This. I am thinking they were her friends. Cops, or not. You should have let them arrest you, or let them try.

SHUT UP AILSE SOO EWE.

Read post #28.

Sounds like a potentially lucrative civil suit. Such unprofessional behavior would not be an isolated incident, and if successful will probably result in them getting fired, which is the important thing here.

I'm not sure she has permission to let police in just because her stuff is there, especially since you weren't really holding it hostage.

So you broke up with her because she haxed you? Why did she want your passwords anyway?

You wouldn't? Installing a keylogger on your partner's computer to find out his passwords seems like something that would create a pretty major trust issue for me.

Hire an ACLU lawyer. They'll raise all hell for you and probably get you some good justice. They love stories like this one.