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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → How do you wipe your Fanny? Stand or Sit?
123
How do you wipe your Fanny? Stand or Sit?
2010-03-03, 6:04 AM #81
Second grossest thing I've heard in this thread: checking the paper.

That's like those people that always blow their nose and look at the snot.

I know when my nose is empty, and I know when my ass is clean, both are quite easy to determine =p'


This is insane, standing to wipe sounds like such a bizzare thing to me, but googling shows that massassi's poll is fairly accurate.

(warning, occasional swear words)

http://www.icbe.org/2009/12/17/stand-to-wipe-sit-to-wipe/


My mind boggles
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2010-03-03, 7:47 AM #82
I have honestly never heard of anyone standing to wipe their arse.
nope.
2010-03-03, 8:19 AM #83
Originally posted by Squirrel King:
I'm surprised no one said "three seashells" yet


Hahaha! Nice one. For those not familiar with 90s Stallone movies, it's a reference to Demolition Man - set in the distant future, toilet wiping is done by a mysterious 'three seashell' method that is never explained in the movie.

[http://www.poopreport.com/Images/3shells.jpg]

However, it was semi-revealed by Stallone in an interview

Originally posted by Aint it Cool News:
Q: For the love of all that is good and Holy. How do you use the 3 seashells?!
A: OK, this may be bordering on the grotesque, but the way it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what's left with the third. You asked for it... Be careful what you ask for, sorry.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. " - Bertrand Russell
The Triumph of Stupidity in Mortals and Others 1931-1935
2010-03-03, 8:20 AM #84
Originally posted by Detty:
How is it possibly difficult to check the paper if you're sitting down?


Possibly because I don't see how you can get your hand down there in the first place when sitting down, let alone retrieve it to check out the handiwork... I just don't see how that works. Seems like lots of opportunity to smear it all over yourself.

Originally posted by Deadman:
Second grossest thing I've heard in this thread: checking the paper.

I know when my ass is clean, quite easy to determine =p'


I advise you to check though - you'd be surprised how many wipes it can take on some occasions. You may find out that the grossest thing in this thread is actually the asses of the people -not- checking the paper.
ORJ / My Level: ORJ Temple Tournament I
2010-03-03, 8:31 AM #85
Be a man, USE YOUR HAND.

Wasn't that a "The Man Show" skit?
2010-03-03, 8:43 AM #86
I use a bidet w/ air dryer.
? :)
2010-03-03, 9:16 AM #87
I have to agree with not checking as well, seems like a disaster waiting to happen. I'd guess most of your underwear have larger than typical brown spots. Even on a fairly normal (not greasy or diarrhea) dump, it takes 2 or 3 wipes. On the worse ones, 4-6. Multi-flush those *****es.
Quote Originally Posted by FastGamerr
"hurr hairy guy said my backhair looks dumb hurr hairy guy smash"
2010-03-03, 9:18 AM #88
I was listening to the Adam & Joe show on BBC 6 Music and they were talking about things you used to think were true for a long time and recently found out were false.

One of the amazing additions was one guy that thought that everyone else sat on the toilet backwards - facing the cistern with your knees straddling the sides, riding it like a motorbike.

That seems ridiculous, but you know that every one of you is secretly going to try it next time you have poopytime.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. " - Bertrand Russell
The Triumph of Stupidity in Mortals and Others 1931-1935
2010-03-03, 9:44 AM #89
[http://blogg.visir.is/minna61/files/2008/06/mouth-toilet.jpg]
2010-03-03, 9:52 AM #90
Originally posted by ORJ_JoS:
I advise you to check though - you'd be surprised how many wipes it can take on some occasions. You may find out that the grossest thing in this thread is actually the asses of the people -not- checking the paper.


I don't suck at wiping, so it's all good, I don't need nor want to look at my ****
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2010-03-03, 9:53 AM #91
Originally posted by Deadman:
I don't suck at wiping, so it's all good, I don't need nor want to look at my ****


Are you trying to tell us you don't even check out the poop in the toilet?
I though everyone checked to see what the poop looked like.

How else are you going to know if you need to go get your friends to check out the massive poop you just took?
2010-03-03, 11:28 AM #92
Originally posted by ORJ_JoS:
Possibly because I don't see how you can get your hand down there in the first place when sitting down, let alone retrieve it to check out the handiwork... I just don't see how that works.

...Just how small is your crapper?
nope.
2010-03-03, 11:45 AM #93
For those not in the know:
Attachment: 23557/htwya.png (21,865 bytes)
Detty. Professional Expert.
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2010-03-03, 11:54 AM #94
:omg:
Attachment: 23558/bum.png (226,172 bytes)
2010-03-03, 11:58 AM #95
are blackberries that popular or that hard to wipe?
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2010-03-03, 3:45 PM #96
Originally posted by Deadman:
Second grossest thing I've heard in this thread: checking the paper.

That's like those people that always blow their nose and look at the snot.

I know when my nose is empty, and I know when my ass is clean, both are quite easy to determine =p'


This is insane, standing to wipe sounds like such a bizzare thing to me, but googling shows that massassi's poll is fairly accurate.

(warning, occasional swear words)

http://www.icbe.org/2009/12/17/stand-to-wipe-sit-to-wipe/


My mind boggles


What are you a 5 year old girl, cant even look at your own poop/snot because its "icky, ewwwww."

I always wondered how some people who smell like crap got to smelling that way... well now I know.
"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."
2010-03-03, 4:15 PM #97
This thread DELIVERS! I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

Only at Massassi can a thread about wiping your arse hit three pages.
"Harriet, sweet Harriet - hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
2010-03-03, 4:41 PM #98
Originally posted by KOP_Snake:
What are you a 5 year old girl, cant even look at your own poop/snot because its "icky, ewwwww."

I always wondered how some people who smell like crap got to smelling that way... well now I know.


Wrong on both counts and even comparing this to the subject of this thread you are still acting really immature.
Also, in my experience 5 year old girls care as much about snot as 5 year old boys, meaning they don't mind it, and they don't mind the taste of it either.
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2010-03-03, 4:55 PM #99
Originally posted by Squirrel King:
[http://blogg.visir.is/minna61/files/2008/06/mouth-toilet.jpg]

reminds me of Look Whos Talking Too when he has the nightmare and the toilet yells at him "gimme that pee pee!"
I'm proud of my life and the things that I have done, proud of myself and the loner I've become.
2010-03-03, 4:57 PM #100
Hehehe, and now whenever I see that pic I'll imagine that toilet saying that.

(not that I expect to see that pic a lot)
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2010-03-03, 8:39 PM #101
loool at figure 1
2010-03-05, 4:57 AM #102
I wipe sitting, reaching from the front. I also check the paper.

BTW - baby wipes are awesome for wiping.
2010-03-05, 8:43 AM #103
Originally posted by Vin:
I wipe sitting, reaching from the front. I also check the paper.

BTW - baby wipes are awesome for wiping.


I'm a paper checker as well.
2010-03-05, 1:21 PM #104
Originally posted by Deadman:
Also, in my experience 5 year old girls care as much about snot as 5 year old boys, meaning they don't mind it, and they don't mind the taste of it either.


You know 5 year olds who eat ****?
2010-03-05, 1:51 PM #105
I wish that this poll had been set up so that the results were publicly viewable.
2010-03-05, 2:13 PM #106
An aussie that doesn't look down under confuses me.
nope.
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