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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Date: FAIL
1234
Date: FAIL
2010-05-20, 5:18 PM #81
Originally posted by Mirthy:
Thank you Saber, Dud, Bacon, Yecti, and Jep.

Jon, [don't] act like a d***.


Oh honey, you really don't see it.
2010-05-20, 5:52 PM #82
Originally posted by Tibby:
People can't have fun together in ways that interests both of them without looking desperate?
****, I'm screwed as far as relationships go.


That's because you're ugly.
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2010-05-20, 5:58 PM #83
To be fair, Jon, you were barging in and making all kinds of assumptions and being needlessly insulting. Kind of a d*** move. Now you're just trying to be patronizing.
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2010-05-20, 6:02 PM #84
Jon's been doing that type of stuff for quite a while now.

Indeed, we're telling someone we like their idea because we're totally desperate to get laid by some woman on the internet. I mean, its the only reason I come to massassi afterall!
Was cheated out of lions by happydud
Was cheated out of marriage by sugarless
2010-05-20, 7:57 PM #85
yeah me too... trying to find some tail on the internet is the ONLY reason i continue visiting this site consisting of mostly males where the only females who post are hundreds of miles (or thousands for when maevie drops by the forums) away


on the subject of failsauce dates...

i went out with a girl once who on the first date wore a shirt that read "i **** on the first date" she thought it was funny i considered suing for false advertisement...

during the course of the date i learned she hated all hard rock and metal, guns, beer, liquor that isn't mixed into a fruity drink, meat, war movies, most action movies, and star wars... she loved ****ty pop music, the twilight books and the first movie (this was before full moon came out... i'm sure she loved it), fruity drinks, shopping, and not ****ing on the first date
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2010-05-20, 9:30 PM #86
I like how this thread went from a date to suits to laser tag to Jon`C being a douche. Where's Rob?

Also I had a suit.
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2010-05-20, 9:40 PM #87
i thought you were the girl :confused:
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2010-05-21, 1:13 AM #88
Originally posted by Alan:
Jon`C being a douche



You know, the only time I was banned, it was for that statement.

Except in the form of the song from Southpark.
2010-05-21, 1:41 AM #89
wait, so you're ditching him cos he was too exhausted to fully appreciate the date? Sh*t happens. Sounds a tad shallow, bad excuse to proclaim the date "a fail" :colbert:
Code:
if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}
2010-05-21, 4:45 AM #90
Speaking of failed dates:

I hooked up with a girl online once. We set a date, and went out to see a movie. At this point I should already have known that something was awry, but oh well. The movie was Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift (yet another warning sign, I would normally never pay for that kind of a movie). The movie was horrible but for some reason felt like it went by really fast. We went out for drinks after, but I can't remember what either of us had. She then suggested we go over to her place (this had never before been suggested to me by girls, mind you), so I complied, hoping to score of course. The weirdest part is that the sex went really well IMO, I must have taken several minutes to come and not before she had gone through at least one bout of what I still firmly believe could by others than just me be interpreted as physical signs of pleasure. For instance, she tightened her grip on the pillowcase (I could tell because she used enough force to make Winnie the Pooh's face indiscernible, that was actually my pillowcase because I don't entirely trust other people's hygiene with these things). Then I woke up and I had like 10 minutes to get ready for work, realizing that none of those other things really happened. :(
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2010-05-21, 6:27 AM #91
It's like I tell my wife. If you want to have sex, just grab my penis & it's on. Life's too short & I'm too tired.
? :)
2010-05-21, 6:48 AM #92
hahaha kroko
DO NOT WANT.
2010-05-21, 7:01 AM #93
Originally posted by Krokodile:
Speaking of failed dates:

I hooked up with a girl online once. We set a date, and went out to see a movie. At this point I should already have known that something was awry, but oh well. The movie was Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift (yet another warning sign, I would normally never pay for that kind of a movie). The movie was horrible but for some reason felt like it went by really fast. We went out for drinks after, but I can't remember what either of us had. She then suggested we go over to her place (this had never before been suggested to me by girls, mind you), so I complied, hoping to score of course. The weirdest part is that the sex went really well IMO, I must have taken several minutes to come and not before she had gone through at least one bout of what I still firmly believe could by others than just me be interpreted as physical signs of pleasure. For instance, she tightened her grip on the pillowcase (I could tell because she used enough force to make Winnie the Pooh's face indiscernible, that was actually my pillowcase because I don't entirely trust other people's hygiene with these things). Then I woke up and I had like 10 minutes to get ready for work, realizing that none of those other things really happened. :(


LOL!!
He said to them: "You examine the face of heaven and earth, but you have not come to know the one who is in your presence, and you do not know how to examine the present moment." - Gospel of Thomas
2010-05-21, 7:09 AM #94
:D
Attachment: 23914/wet-dreams.jpg (63,542 bytes)
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-05-21, 9:47 AM #95
Haha very nice Kroko!
Mirthy

King James the 1st- “I will not give a turd for thy preaching”
2010-05-21, 10:29 AM #96
kroko i knew your story was made up after the first sentence... because you mentioned a female
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2010-05-21, 10:37 AM #97
Originally posted by DrkJedi82:
on the subject of failsauce dates...

i went out with a girl once who on the first date wore a shirt that read "i **** on the first date" she thought it was funny i considered suing for false advertisement...

during the course of the date i learned she hated all hard rock and metal, guns, beer, liquor that isn't mixed into a fruity drink, meat, war movies, most action movies, and star wars... she loved ****ty pop music, the twilight books and the first movie (this was before full moon came out... i'm sure she loved it), fruity drinks, shopping, and not ****ing on the first date


Wow, I'm sorry. That truely sounds like the worst date ever.
"Nulla tenaci invia est via"
2010-05-21, 2:50 PM #98
A message to Mirthy: (Gutes Glueck am irhen naechtes "Date" und hoffentlich der Kerl koennen eine besser Freund werden.)

Excuse me if this is incorrect, but its been awhile since I was in Germany.
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-05-21, 2:58 PM #99
A message to Mirthy: Ich möchte meinen langen Schwanz in Ihre Vagina gebracht.

Excuse me if this is incorrect, but I only took German for 3 years in high school.
2010-05-21, 3:12 PM #100
Du Geil Bock!
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-05-21, 3:21 PM #101
Originally posted by ragna:
A message to Mirthy: Ich möchte meinen langen Schwanz in Ihre Vagina gebracht.

Excuse me if this is incorrect, but I only took German for 3 years in high school.

Aber Sie sind klein in der Hose?
nope.
2010-05-21, 3:31 PM #102
Originally posted by Baconfish:
Aber Sie sind klein in der Hose?


:XD:
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-05-21, 3:52 PM #103
Sie brauchen Kinder, um mit diesem Unsinn aufhören

Excuse me if this in incorrect, I mistakenly took French in high school.
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2010-05-21, 4:23 PM #104
Originally posted by ragna:
A message to Mirthy: Ich möchte meinen langen Schwanz in Ihre Vagina gebracht.

Excuse me if this is incorrect, but I only took German for 3 years in high school.


Well, at least you had a good teacher.
幻術
2010-05-21, 4:50 PM #105
I wasn't going to post, but I kind of agree with the heartless. You're being awful rough on the first date. Sure you know eachother, but dating a girl you've known for a while is... different. If you're already unsatisfied after so little experience, how can you ever expect to be happy? Maybe ask if he liked the date, or if he felt more comfortable as friends. Either he doesn't like you, or you need to give him more of a chance. "He's bad at dates" seemed unfair.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2010-05-21, 5:58 PM #106
I'm pretty sure it was more "This particular date (as in outing, not person) was a fail," not "he;s a horrible person and should die"
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2010-05-21, 6:03 PM #107
Originally posted by ragna:
A message to Mirthy: Ich möchte meinen langen Schwanz in Ihre Vagina gebracht.

Excuse me if this is incorrect, but I only took German for 3 years in high school.

Wow. You are saddening.
>>untie shoes
2010-05-21, 6:08 PM #108
Originally posted by ragna:
A message to Mirthy: Ich möchte meinen langen Schwanz in Ihre Vagina gebracht.

Sie sind ein pathetischer, ohne Freunde Kellerbewohner, der in einem Masturbationunfall sterben wird.
2010-05-21, 6:28 PM #109
I got one word out of that...
2010-05-21, 6:46 PM #110
I got all but 2, but I ain't bovvered
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2010-05-21, 6:47 PM #111
Originally posted by Jon`C:
Sie sind ein pathetischer, ohne Freunde Kellerbewohner, der in einem Masturbationunfall sterben wird.


Sie sind sehr lustig, meine Kleine. Wie kann ich ohne Freunde, wenn ich gute Freunde bin deine Mutter, du Taugenichts Mann-Kind?
2010-05-21, 6:53 PM #112
Originally posted by ragna:
Sie sind sehr lustig, meine Kleine. Wie kann ich ohne Freunde, wenn ich gute Freunde bin deine Mutter, du Taugenichts Mann-Kind?


Sprechende Nazese bildet Sie nicht weniger gruselig.
2010-05-21, 6:57 PM #113
Originally posted by Antony:
Wow. You are saddening.


Antony, gefällt Ihnen wird JonC's Handlanger?

Tip: Handlanger = stooge
2010-05-21, 7:02 PM #114
Tip: You're a creepy little kid, and whatever cheese grating accident left you hitting on the girls of forums.massassi.net probably also affected your brain.
2010-05-21, 7:05 PM #115
Since when does simply agreeing with a female mean you're hitting on them?
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
2010-05-21, 7:06 PM #116
****in' Nazis.
? :)
2010-05-21, 7:09 PM #117
Be a smarty...
2010-05-21, 7:13 PM #118
Originally posted by sugarless:
Since when does simply agreeing with a female mean you're hitting on them?


Heh. This is what Babelfish and Google Translate had to say about ragna's post:

"I would like to mean long tail brought into your Vagina."

I'm sure ragna was doing a little more than just 'agreeing'.
2010-05-21, 7:17 PM #119
I didnt know that so many people could speak German other than me or better than me or are they using the assistance of a translational program? I only lived there for about 6 years but never took a class.
He who controls the spice controls the universe-
2010-05-21, 7:17 PM #120
oh no, I caught by the cognates what ranga was talking about, but it seems like Jon`C has been assuming that anyone who agrees is just trying to hit on us.

I could just be mistakenly inferring though.
Fincham: Where are you going?
Me: I have no idea
Fincham: I meant where are you sitting. This wasn't an existential question.
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