Really? Spoilers? This isn't some movie you were waiting 6 months to see or something.

Au contraire!

serious post was serious

Spoiler: YOU'RE AN ASS.

I find this thread to be offensive and objectifying of women.

You can't love someone that you're willing to cheat on so easily and then lie to, and THEN cover it up with yet more lies.

The logic behind this is simple:

1) When you love someone, you devote yourself to them. You don't have to have a marriage band on them or have a preist say "kiss the bride", a good lasting relationship is built on trust, which comes from love. Which comes from not cheating. If you're 16 and all that, typically you aren't going to be in a lasting relationship. But two grown adults that are supposed to be mature are usually looking for something other than some quick easy pussy or dick. And of course there are exceptions to this, that's a given. I have plenty of friends that want nothing more than to **** a random girl each night, but I've also got plenty that want a relationship/family. When you've devoted a year of your time to someone, that kinda says you're looking for the relationship part and not just the sex.

2) When you love someone, you don't lie to them. Everyone lies, simple small lies or something to protect from getting hurt, gifts, etc. But when you lie about cheating on someone, or more broadly, completely obliterating their trust of you, you cannot possibly love them as much as you think you do. You wouldn't lie to someone you love immensely, but you also wouldn't cheat to begin with before you start the lying process.

3) Drunk talking or not, covering one huge lie with another huge lie is another example of the breakdown of trust/love in the relationship.

You probably are infatuated with her, comfortable with her, have been good friends and gotten used to each other, but there is no way you can absolutely say that you love her with all your heart.

Which piece of your heart did that kiss the girl at the club own?

Oh, you mean she owned your cock?

Yeah, well, love/relationships involve that one too. I.e your cock, mouth, and even your butthole should be only touching the one you claim to love. Nobody else's. For any reason.

The Hormones got the better of your brain on this one. And if this girl has any brains at all, she'll dump you ASAP. I'd be telling you the same stuff if the case were reversed.

You ****ed up. Bad.

Okay enough is enough. I take it back. What you did wasn't all that bad, she should just get over it. If she expects you to be perfect she's not the one for you anyway. I don't believe any one of us is perfect.

No, he knows he screwed up, there's no point in denying that just to go against the grain, it's just not completely hopeless, and I think he's beating himself up more than we could, though some folks here are certainly trying.

As far as your post, Tempermental, while I certainly think cheating is stupid (though of course then we could get into debates on what constitutes "cheating") and terrible, you seem to be walking the fine line between saying you should stay faithful, which of course is true, and saying you should never even be tempted, which is silly and unrealistic.

I'm a big believer in the "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner" theory, so maybe that's just me.

Brian - kissing the girl while drunk was a forgivable mistake. Lying repeatedly, while not unforgivable, is certainly harder to get past.

I thought every girl wanted a guy who goes out and gets ****-faced, makes out with random skanks, drives home drunk, then lies about the whole thing until he is in a corner.

Don't let them fool you, they do.

you messed up, everyone does, prepare to face consequences

Temptation and Cheating are completely different. And I wasn't even talking about temptaion in my original post. I was specifying that if he truly loved her as deeply as he claims he does, he wouldn't have cheated on her, then proceeded to try to cover it up with lies, then cover that up with more lies, then admit to the cheating but the stuff she heard was a lie, etc etc. That is not love, no matter how you look at it. That's some guy that let his dick get the better of his brain.

That being said, nobody is perfect. But don't try to hide behind what you did by clinging on to "but I still love you".

I was waiting on giving any updates until I had something of significance to report, however, I really have to reply to this.

Love is not something that can be easily defined, and as such there is no easy way of comparing one person's love and feelings to another - hence you are not one to judge me on how I truly feel. You can compare it to whatever opinion you have, but I know how I feel. I ****ed up really bad, but I do love her.

And nothing anyone says in this thread is going to change that.

Thanks to you, I now have REO Speedwagon stuck in my head. Not necessarily a complaint, I guess.


Good for you. I don't say that to be sarcastic or to offer trite condolences, I mean it. You obviously recognise you made a big mistake (or several, if we're counting), but taking responsiblity for them is a big step. Your girlfriend may take you back, maybe she won't, but you'll come away from this with a greater understanding of worth and I think that, even if you can't use it right now, that'll be a good life lesson for you.


I think you have an over-romanticised view of love. Are you saying because he had a moment of infidelity that he cannot possibly love this girl? Seems to me that his was a fairly natural reaction after having some drunken escapade flung upon him in the cold light of day. With hindsight we can look at it and say, "yes, he could have handled that better", but I doubt any of us would have had that clarity at the time.

Maybe it's easy for me to say that though, since I have trouble getting any girl to give me the time of day

I will say this, though; trust isn't something that generally breaks down completely over a transgression. It is cracked, and damaged, and whatever else, but there is no reason it can't be repaired, even if it takes time. Not knowing you, Dark__Knight, but I hope if you're as sincere as you seem that you get that chance.

No, I do not and I am not. I am saying that you can't love someone completely with all your heart if you are able to cheat on them so easily (being drunk and kissing a hot girl at a party, really? THAT is all the motivation you need to cheat?), then cover it up with a lie, then cover that lie up with a lie, then lie some more.. I am sorry but I find it hard to believe that you can love someone while doing all that to them. Love them yes, but love them unconditionally/deeply? I say nay.

Actions speak louder than words.

I'm pretty sure most guys would cheat if it were absolutely guaranteed that their girlfriends would never find out. I would, certainly. It's just biology - infinite sperm vs. finite eggs. Girls would do the same, though they will never admit to this as it lowers their social value. Let's be honest here, girls - if a ten like Brad Pitt walked in on you while you were ovulating and your 5-of-a-boyfriend was away for the night, you'd rear your ass like a jungle monkey in a lordosis reflex. In general, girls are sluts and guys are manwhores. I've met and ****ed way too many sluts, it's seriously disturbing.

That said, you ****ed yourself over by not being discreet about it. What a dumbass. She's probably ****ing some guy-friend pretending to comfort her in her rebound right now, so get over that gutter slut and man up.

Lovely.

Oh jeez.

"I'm pretty sure most guys would cheat if it were absolutely guaranteed that their girlfriends would never find out."

Sounds like the perfect rationalization from a person who cheats a lot.

I don't even cheat on my girlfriend, and she's GUARANTEED to never find out because she doesn't exist. EXPLAIN THAT.

You're obviously a prince among men

This thread rules.

Oh come on, be honest - if a girl like Miranda Kerr pulled you in and asked you to **** her hard (and you could do it without anyone knowing), you'd give in whether you were in a relationship or not. And if that would happen, it doesn't make it any less of an "offense" to do so with any other girl (like sugarless).

Also, if you honest-to-god wouldn't, then go see a doctor and check your testosterone:estrogen levels, you might be growing a pair of titties soon.

Don't try to push your rationalization on others, lol.

"Oh come on, if you could rob a bank and get away with it, you know you would!!!!"

"Oh come on, if you could drive down the road like it was GTA and get away with it, you know you would!"

It just goes to show that the secret test of character isn't something everyone would pass with flying colors.

Avoiding the question, lol?

Also, yes to #1, no to #2 - that's just sick.

Taken from "TV Tropes". There's a reason why stuff like that only happens in film. Earth to Gebohq, earth to Gebohq, do you copy?

More like skipping that whole part of a discussion, since your response would be obvious.

I say no, you say "LOL LIAR YOU TOTALLY WOULD" and it wastes everyone's time.

I'll state it simply: a lot of people have a different set of moral standards than you. Whether you believe that or not doesn't really matter (since how is anyone going to prove it? Shall we reconvene in 60 years and see who was faithful? :carl:). Having sex with some hot girl isn't as important to me as being faithful to some girl that I really love.

Stuff that only happens in film like some chick asking you to **** her hard?

"Hi, will you **** me hard please?"

Oh, I fully admit that TV Tropes has ruined my life, but sometimes there is truth in fiction and there are times when the truth is stranger than fiction.

You're right, but you don't know why you're right We are biological machines designed to replicate, for a man the best way to achieve this goal is to sleep with many women. For a woman it's not, after all she can only carry one child at a time. Of course that's not to say women won't cheat, they'll just be a hell of a lot more picky about their partners. Monogamy is a social invention, not a biological one. Not necessarily saying I would cheat, but there's nothing inherently wrong with sleeping with multiple women. Not that I would, I'd rather have a single girl who I enjoy hanging out with. But I don't have a problem with people who do just sleep around.

You must be trolling because I cannot honestly believe someone is that dumb.

Really, as it's been already pointed out to you there are plenty of men and women who would NOT cheat, under any circumstances. It's not even about biology, it's simple logic. Why in the hell would I cheat on someone and waste all the time that I've devoted/been with them? I'm not going to throw that away just for a quick fling? That's just retardation of the mindset right there. There is a huge difference between having a fantasy, and acting on it. Maybe you fantasize about making out with someone of the same sex, plenty of people do, but that doesn't mean they are about to go out and act on it. I know plenty of people that have discussed certain fantasies or desires that they would also never act on. Plenty of women I am sure fantasize about two men at once, but would never act on it. The examples can go on and on. And not even related to sex.. How about people that fantasize about beating the living **** out of someone they absolutely despise? How many of those people actually act out on it?

Just because you have no morals regarding sex and relationships, doesn't mean everyone else is potentially the same.


My guess is that you are one of these two things:

A) Someone that's cheated several times, has little moral values regarding it or regards for the emotional and personal consequences on the relationship and other person you're cheating on

OR

B) Someone that's been cheated on and knows what it feels like, and has become so disgruntled over it.

Alternative choice:

C) Someone that's not yet hit the age of 18 and is thus stupidly overrun by hormones which will soon be replaced with brain cells.

Either way, I feel really bad for you and whoever you end up with.

A couple of weeks ago, I got undercharged by £10 at a bar. The bartender had missed off the 1 when typing 16 into the chip and PIN reader. I pointed out his error despite the fact that I would have gotten away with it had I tried.

Fear of being caught isn't the only reason people don't violate trust that's been placed in them.

Unless you're ragna.

Hmmmmmmm okay, I see what you're saying. Nothing I can do to change your personal morals, but I will state that it goes against your basic survival instincts. As humans though, we're mentally capable of suppressing some of these to a certain extent for some idea. Like you, for example, would deny the continuation of your genes for "faithfulness". That said, I'm saying that most people out there are still animals and WOULD have sex with some hot girl if confidentiality were ensured, faithfulness be damned. This doesn't just apply to sex, either. Things like loyalty, honor, trust, they all go out the window when (most) people's survival instincts are pushed in one way or another, whether it be a dirty slut on all fours in your bedroom or a guy taking ____ from you. Most people out there are ****ing dogs.



Well, it's all a bit tongue-in-cheek but not too far from reality.



I think you missed the point where I said "infinite sperm finite eggs".

Dark__Knight, continue to be an ******* and do *******ish things. Women love that.

You are the one who has a problem with logic, friend-o. Waste WHAT? Trust? I told you the requirement was confidentiality. There's nothing to "throw away", unless it's your own self-righteousness (and by the sound of it, you aren't talking about that anyway). Stop ****ing around.



Let me spell it out for you: a fantasy is a desire - something that someone WANTS to do - but can't because of some opposing force, be it a mental construct or something external such as laws. If it's a fantasy, you are already okay with executing it if granted the opportunity barring any consequences. For example, I fantasize about pissing on your face right now but I can't because it might be against the law.



A) Yes, no emotional or personal consequences for any party involved. Main partners never knew. Relationships ended as amicably as they could given the circumstances.

B) Not to my knowledge. I've slept with girls who have been in relationships though, so someone's getting cuckolded.

C) I'm 16. Stop with the ageism. I'm old enough to drink, drive, ****, and have a good time with life :).

If you believe that is true so strongly, you should have no problems coming up with some proof that statistically it is how most people act.

I'll wait.

Edit: Hahaha, you're 16? Well that answers everything, you haven't even hit the stage where you get tired of sleeping around with a new girl every night.

Double Edit: Also, don't claim you're old enough and mature enough to know such things. I am 24, and even I don't think I'm really "mature" yet. But I can definitely recognize that I am a helluva lot more mature than I was 8 years ago.

When does that start?

I'd say anytime after college.