Damn, I was waiting for Temp to call me out on this. I'm actually 3 years into a graduate program (same age as you). But yeah, I don't sleep around like I used to in undergrad, but it's probably because of the stress, my hours, and the fact that I despise going to bars now.

Also, for your pleasure, a dubious quote from a dubious journal.

[QUOTE=Atwood et. al., The New Affair Treatment Considerations, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions, Volume 1 Issue 3 2002]Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship[/QUOTE]

Notice that those numbers are fairly close to the divorce rate.

And that's only the ones which got caught

This thread stopped being fun when the topic changed from Dark__Knight being an ass to ragna being an ass.

I agree with Steven, but I'm going to go ahead and feed into this anyway.

What ragna calls a "girlfriend" is someone who is no different than everyone else he sleeps with, she just does it more regularly and he'll occasionally go out in public with her. I have a hard time calling the relationship he's describing a girlfriend. Maybe on her part, but certainly not on his.

Also, please stop acting like the human race will die out if guys aren't douche bags. That may have been true a millennia ago, but it certainly is not anymore. If you want to be that guy, I have no problem with it, but stop trying to be self righteous about your douchebaggery.

FOREVER ALONE

You don't like self righteous douchebags? ****, I was totally planning to hook up with you at the next Massassi meetup and that really ruins the whole plan.

ragna's version of a relationship sounds about right for a lot of western youth. I guess it's a value judgement to say it's wrong, but I certainly think it's unhealthy for most of those people.

If anything, we could do with a little bit of reduced reproduction (overall) because we don't have the infrastructure to support the population we have now. Just because something was or is a biological drive doesn't mean it's the best solution in every situation. Cus, you know, evolution n ****.

I can't speak for most guys but, no, I wouldn't.



Is there some kind of award for that?



Again, no.

You're a little kid. You don't know a damn thing about life.

well, you are kinda screwed either way. from experience it will take a LOOOOOONG time to rebuild trust, if its even possible. you will need to be willing to listen and engage contritely in conversations that consist of rehashing what happened and why you did it over, and over and OVER again. and you will have to put up with it, you dont get to be annoyed or overly frustrated when she blames you again and AGAIN for screwing up. you will probably constantly get jabs about "well you seemed to be fine with sticking your tongue down her throat!" and similar things. and you don't get to say anything back. you pretty much give up that right when you did said act.
all that to say, its a LOT of hard frustrating teeth pulling work. if she is really worth it then so is everything you will have to do to get her back.

im not saying this part to be a douche, but make sure she really is worth it. yeah sure you love her, but is she someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with? if not the best thing for both of you might be to move on.

I'm actually kind of like BobtheMasher; I don't have a girlfriend but I won't cheat anyways.

LOL He's 16. There is absolutely zero reason to even respond to his posts anymore. You are still in puberty, where everyone is inferior to you and you are basically invincible; with an insatiable urge to put your penis inside anything that walks by. You seriously have some growing up to do. I am 27 and I still have growing up to do. I just dont think with my dick.

Not everyone would cheat, and a fantasy isn't something people would necessarily act out on, if you believe that all fantasies are something that people would actually do, you need to take a course on human ethics.

I don't know how many people really have to tell you they wouldn't cheat before you get the point.

Like anyone on this website ever did that EVER.

guys, ragna is not 16

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Then who the eff is 16?

ragna said he was 16. but


he's


not

He's just further showcasing a critical point of this thread, Men lie.

It doesn't matter. He's banging Miranda Kerr, and we're not.

Anyone remember Pagewizard and his awful awful advice? Good times

i am

i'm banging cody coker

Then he got hit by the Bible Bus.

I wonder if he was screwing a nun or something, and now he only gets off for the Lord.

^soooo wrong.
Brings to mind forgetting Sarah Marshall.

So I thought I'd go ahead and give an update on where everything stands. I deeply apologized to my girlfriend last week and treated her to well thought-out evening. I started off by having a dinner prepared for her the moment she walked in the door. I had candles on the table, her favorite flowers, and salads already prepared (as well as her favorite red wine). I then had a note sitting in front of her plate that was one of four that she would read that night. It just reiterated how sorry I was and that I really wanted to start fresh that night and focus on the future.

After dinner, we had a nice dessert, and then we went into the other room where she opened her next note which lead to me singing to her (although this may sound cheesy to anyone who reads this, I knew she would really appreciate that - because I rarely sing for her). Then she opened her third note - more gushy love stuff - followed by us watching her favorite movie of all time, Forrest Gump.

After all that was over we talked for awhile, and I could tell that the mending was really starting to happen. After all of that it was pretty late so we went back to the bedroom where she opened her final note of the night and the rest is history.

Now I know this may not be how everyone would have orchestrated their apology, but it worked fairly well for us. Since then we have talked a lot about things and have seen each other several times.. I know that everything isn't completely healed, but I have confidence that things will progress nicely from here and that she has forgiven me for what has happened.

I appreciate everyone's advice in this thread, and the good vibes that helped me get through all of this.

An apology tailor-made to her needs/wants, good move. It sounds like a great night to me too >_>
Best thing about that is that it shows you do actually care for her, knowing her likes and such.
I wish you two the best of luck.

Thing's are all fine and peachy now.

Until your next fight.

Don't trick yourself into foolishly believing that she won't be constantly thinking about this incident for literally the rest of her life with you and that it won't be brought up just as often.

It's still going to take a while to get her trust back, if ever.

If I didn't think she was worth the effort then I would have just moved on. I know it's going to take a long time for everything to return completely back to normal, but I'm prepared for that.

Do not listen to all these naysayers. "Your screwed" "you blew it" "prepare for the worst". Yes, you ****ed up. It happens to everybody you cannot help it. Whats done is done and you cannot change the past. Yet you do have the power to change the present. Instead of telling Massassi how much you care, and how you took off of work because your upset (which is also kinda funny), and how she seemingly is the "one", tell her. If you've been waiting for a few days with no response, time for a preemptive strike, call her. I'm not saying to leave 24 voice mails within a half and hour, but if you just sit back and let this relationship ,that means so much to you, end, she will see that.

All your notes, im sure were a signal to her. You are truly sorry and trying to get over it. That's all anyone can ask.

And that's whats important. The fact that you are prepared for the "long time" it'll take to rebuild things is great. You did epically screw up, but you're making great steps to fix it, and she's lucky to have a guy that's mature and emotionally secure enough to work this hard at fixing it.

I think Ragna is right that a lot of men would cheat if there was no chance their girlfriends would ever find out. But just because a lot of people would do it doesn't excuse it. Being a douche is being a douche, no matter who finds out. And I bet R is one of those guys who would flip out if he found out his "girlfriend" is cheating on him.

It's not about whether YOU find it worth the effort to get back to her - it's whether SHE thinks it's worth putting up with YOU. Unfortunately for you, you don't sound like much of a catch, what with your typical drunken frat-boy smack talk and getting herpes from kissing that bar slut.

Remember girls, even a douchebag can disguise himself towards you as a sensitive gentlemen who makes dinner for you and writes cute little notes (bonus points for you know, actually saying it). Guys will go to great lengths to secure on-call booty. And when they think you're not going to know (at a bar with their college buddies), or when they think you aren't listening ("that chick was so hot, I would tear that pussy UP"), that's when a guy's truer nature shines.

The only thing I will agree on in this post is this one point, however I will take it out of context, because I am not assuming the OP is doing this:

Guys going way out of there way to secure a girl for sexual gratification.


I see this all the time, and girls, more often then not, get the wool pulled over their eyes when it comes to this. Guys go way above and beyond to continue to use these girls. Its kind of ridiculous. Its akin to a guy dating a girl and doing asinine things simply because he loves her, yet these scumballs have no feeling unless it pertains to copulating.

Really it's not surprising at all. It's all part of the game. Sounds ridiculous but I have been doing a little research on relationships lately and some of what I have learned is astounding.

I mean to be honest Dark__Knight, It's kinda surprising she took your whole evening well, maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings because of the amount of time you put into it. I don't want to speculate so I'm curious to see how this turns out.

Next time on... THE MASSASSI HOUR

[/calm sexy deep voice]

I think this is true, actually.



There's some truth in that-a lot of people will do stuff they normally wouldn't if they think won't get caught-but not all guys are like that.

I thought people only acted like this in cheesy movies.

As a rule, they do. But different strokes and all that.

That's a tv series not a movie!