>You may be perceived as a loner. That is counter-productive. You must appear to be outgoing and you need to learn how to interact with people.


>No, you're just implementing it wrong and taking it out of context. You must talk to chicks and other people, but once you start seeing one [or several] you must make sure that you always have a life of your own. If you don't do this, you will be too readily available, and the chicks will take you for granted. If that happens, you're screwed and have to start over with someone else.

------------------
Most people regard me as the dark and immoral side of Massassi. At least I'm getting what I want out of life.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited January 05, 2004).]

*shrug* ... I guess I sort of am a loner, then

------------------
Do you have stairs in your house?

Believe it or nor, PaigeWizard hit it right on the head of the nail.

------------------
I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.

This is true.


Let me tell you a few stories. These are true stories, but the names of the vict^H^H persons have been changed to protect the igno^H^H innocent.


Case #1) My idi^H^H "IQ challenged" brother. About a year ago, he got married. Now, my brother is as ugly as sin, about as smart as a brick, and has the common sense of a door-knob. Yet he managed to land one. A good looking one at that. How? He has a bizarre amount of self-confidence. (Ill not go into this further, but those who know me well will know who this girl is... )


Case #2) D. D is an old friend of mine from school. Now, D has a problem. D has the looks of a bar of home-made soap. No, scratch that. He looks worse than a bar of home-made soap. Look up the word 'ugly' in a dictionary, and youll see a picture of him. ..And yet, despite his blaring unattractiveness, he has absolutely no difficulty in getting a phone number, getting a date, or for that matter, getting a ""good nights rest"". His secret? An inhuman level of self-confidence.


Case #3) Me. Youve all seen pictures of me. I dont consider myself 'ugly' in the least bit. Infact, I have been complimented more than a few times by girls whom I trust. But, yet, I cant get a date. My problem? A lack of self-confidence. Its not as bad as it used to be, but its still enough of a problem to keep me out of the game.


Moral of the stories: Looks, and aesthetics in general, are irrelevent. Its all a matter of how much confidence you have in yourself.


Now, if you will excuse me, I now have to go and weep quietly in the corner.

------------------
The future is here, and all bets are off.

[This message has been edited by GBK (edited January 05, 2004).]

Pagewizard, it doesnt work, i always blatantly show no interest in girls or most people in general, I also have enough confidence to allow people to confirm this fact by the way I act, and i dont find myself knee deep in girls.

------------------
mmm, smells like something burning.

Trust me, being without a woman is many times much better. I'm 19, and I've been in too many relationships to count, most of which ended pretty messily.

I am in a relationship now, though. Been together for more than a year. . .I guess I don't know as much as I think.

------------------
I think everyone should have to take a test to determine their eligibility to have children. If they failed, they'd be fixed. We'd have fewer stupid people that way.

I do what I want, am sociable, funny, intellegent, clever, and generally awesome. I could probably have any girl that I want, but I really just don't care. Chances are she's just going to moan and complain and sap my money.

Stop placing such high significance on girlfriends, they aren't necessary to be happy. Friends are.

------------------
Ω of 14
Half-Life 2 Central: your definitive source for everything HL2!

its not the spending time with them part, it's the making the relationship work through bad times that's work. i've dated the love of my life for more than 3 years now, and it is a lot of work. i love her to death and she's awesome, but it isn't easy all the time. it is worth it though.


------------------
Truth is in the eye of the beholder.
Forum Rules

Indeed. It wasnt his usual advice:





------------------
The future is here, and all bets are off.

Woah, GBK made me laugh!

------------------
Map-Review | Digital Core | The Matrix: Unplugged

Farewell, MaDaVentor. In our hearts, you'll always live on.

lol me too.

It's ok everyone Ruthven's here now you can all relax!!

Listen up Pn Hobbit!

I will be 20 in less than 2 months, and I have had ONE girlfriend that lasted 3 months. She was boring, frigid, frustrating, but because I was in love (don't know why) I didn't dump her after the 1st week.
Now I could also mention that I never interacted with women until I was 19 years old!! But still, despite taht, my track record is awful. I'm not sure if I'm ugly or not, I'm certainly not comfortable with my looks and tend to shy away from others sometimes.
So...

Quite yer belly aching.

------------------
<Cazor> dude, i am so giving my gay friend your number.
<Cazor> bwahaha. owned.
<Ruthven> NO!!!!!!!!!!
<Cazor> yeah. and he's pretty persistant.
<d-_-b> haha

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I agree with oSiRiS that it is more important to have friends than have a girlfriend. I'd even extend that to say, it's important to have friends who are girls, who are not your girlfriends.

------------------
GhostOfYoda - General doer of stuff.

Actually, it was his usual advice it's just he's recently been making something of an effort to not irritate everyone into thinking his advice is only relevant if all you want is sax with as many girls possible.

As vehemently as I disagree with Pagewizard's philosophy and way of thinking, I think his "strategy" will probably work in most cases, if followed properly. But not for the reasons he gives. GBK really hit the nail on the head here, IMHO.

The real key is confidence. When a man is confident in himself and his abilities, and shows no fear or hesitation, it implies that he has a certain level of strength of character and ability to back that up. It implies he will be able to support her in times of difficulty, both emotionally and in terms of sheer physical survival.

Page's strategy of "act like a jerk and pretend you don't care about her" is basically a way of "faking" confidence. By acting like you don't care, you're saying to the girl that you are entirely self-sufficient, that you are confident in your ability to survive and flourish on your own, with or without a girl by your side. If you come across as someone who needs the attentions of a girl, who is desperate for love and will leap at any opportunity, you come across as weak and unsure of yourself. You're implying that she would have to take care of you and constantly see to your needs, but she really wants the opposite -- for you to take care of her and see to her needs.

What women want is someone who doesn't *need* her, but *wants* her anyway. To be appreciated for who she is rather than the mere fact that she's a female. Page's philosophy ends up being that he doesn't need her and doesn't want her either, which quickly falls apart after the initial attraction phase.

Obviously, confidence alone won't win you a girl, you've still got have stuff like similar interests and complimentary personalities and such if you want a working and lasting relationship. But all the similar interests in the world won't help if you're not confident.

BTW, I've never had a date in my life, and I'm 20. It used to be a major concern to me, but the stuff I just talked about has really helped me. What it boils down to is, the appearance of confidence isn't enough. You have to actually be confident and self-sufficient. You can't lose that way -- even if you don't end up with a woman, you have the strength of character and confidence to go on anyway. It's not the end of the world.

------------------
"Well, it could be worse -- it could be windy!" -popular Canadian saying.

You guys seem to whine too much about girls, that's a BIIIIIIIG turn-off to us!

Just a little FYI!

------------------
What should I put here? lol

i dont see the appeal really

------------------
mmm, smells like something burning.

I saw a girl once.. that was cool

------------------
Happy "Diseased" dud: You said I'd be like this guy. Boycotting everything..
Happy "Diseased" dud: ted kazcnisky. That's who it was.
Happy "Diseased" dud: Wait, That's the unibomer.
Happy "Diseased" dud: Wrong guy.

Yeah, I, we, know. We may whine here, where it wont come back to haunt us, but never in Real Life(tm)...

------------------
The future is here, and all bets are off.

i wouldnt say its a turn off, id say its a good reflection of:
how many kids here have low self esteem and self confidence,
how shallow girls are getting coz of stupid society
peoples lack of understanding of a relationship is,
what they want and need


and i agree with osiris.. friends > partner
besides, like goy said (i think it was him), its more important you have friends over the opposite gender than having a significant other.. mostly if you get close enough with a friend you end up dating her/him anyway, and its more likely to work out coz its not just physical appeal.

------------------
[teletubbie voice] BIG HUG!!!! [/teletubbie voice]

I'm going to see if I can add something to this discussion.

Wussiness: After about a good hour and a half of talking with a girl(say in a bar) you just met saying "Hey, um, can I get your phone number so I might call you later?"

Assertiveness: After about 20 minutes of talking with a girl (in the same bar) saying "I have to run(even if you really don't have to. pull yourself away form her). Give me your number so I can call you later when I get some free time."

Wussiness: "Hey, do you want to go out to dinner with me sometime?"

Assertivness: "Im going to [INSERT RESTAURANT, MOVIE, WHATEVER] Friday. You should come too.

Wussiness: If she rejects you, your going to be depressed.

Assertivness: If she rejects you, it's no big thing. Hey, look at the hot blonde over there.

Wussiness: Complimenting every little good thing she does or has.

Assertivness: Teasing or messing with her(not in a mean spirited way. In a playful and light-hearted way) about some of the mistakes she makes or insecurities she has.

You should get the idea by now.

------------------
You will respect my authoritah!

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited January 05, 2004).]

i like girls who i can argue with, arguing is fun, i cant stand people who always say they agree with everything somebody says.

but lack of interest always fails me.

girl: hey, who are you, etc.

me: go away, i want to drink.

------------------
mmm, smells like something burning.

it had wings, right? right?? did you see it fly??

------------------
Do you have stairs in your house?

EXACTLY!!!!!!


Confidence = success.

Look at GBK's examples. You can see a definite pattern. Confidence is much more important than looks. Even he admits it.


------------------
Most people regard me as the dark and immoral side of Massassi. At least I'm getting what I want out of life.

[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited January 05, 2004).]

Allow me to clear a few things up:




This has always been my stance.

Just because I refuse to put a chick on a pedestal because she looks good doesn't mean that I don't want her.

Septic: You're not having success b/c you don't come off as outgoing based on what you wrote. Social interaction is critical as well, as I wrote earlier.


------------------
Most people regard me as the dark and immoral side of Massassi. At least I'm getting what I want out of life.

yeah, because i really do want rid of them, i was being sarcastic about not having success.

------------------
mmm, smells like something burning.

as most people have said: friends > partner

for once, page's advice does not make me see red. Confidence really is key, lighthearted teasing is fun, but the whole ignore them approach only works for some girls.

that being said, I'm single too. or as someone described me "the eternally single one" There are worse things than to be single

------------------
If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

"Are you an angel?"

------------------
Rah!

Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like, I am 11 years old and in the sixth grade.



------------------
Member of the Minneassian Council

*kills monoxide

------------------
If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

A partner can be your best friend as well....so I must admit I find all this "friends > partner" stuff a bit puzzling.



------------------
Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian & A Very Massassian Xmas
Corrupting the kiddies since '97

It's more than just confidence. A small degree of...apathy(for lack of a better word. someone wanna help here?) is needed as well. A girl rejects you? okay, whatever. Next girl please. Confidence is destroyed by rejection, so apathy is there to kind of shield it and keep things consistent. The trick is that you can't pretend to be apathetic. You have to genuinely be slightly apathetic about whither you get rejected or not, or else you will take one hit and bow out of the ring. Even lady's men get rejected quite often. The biggest difference between them and nerds with low self-esteem is that they can just shrug rejection off.

------------------
You will respect my authoritah!

well it's great if they are but partners will most likely not last as long as friends, if you have geat friends, so it's important to...not forsake them I guess is what I mean.

------------------
If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

jaiph, we just meant, these people who are worrying themselves silly about not having a girlfriend, should realize until they get in a really good relationship, your friends are still closest to you. in my case my bf is my best friend but we were friends before hand too. everyone makes age seem like a big deal. theres nothin wrong with being 18 and never have been on a date.


------------------
[teletubbie voice] BIG HUG!!!! [/teletubbie voice]

Im not sure.. She ran away from me...

------------------
Happy "Diseased" dud: You said I'd be like this guy. Boycotting everything..
Happy "Diseased" dud: ted kazcnisky. That's who it was.
Happy "Diseased" dud: Wait, That's the unibomer.
Happy "Diseased" dud: Wrong guy.

I have plenty o' self confidence ... I don't know, some people seem to hate their life, but I wouldn't be ANYONE but who I am now

My "GF" is still acting weird as hell though.element that drives them crazy.

------------------
saberopus
oh yeh wlel i jsut gots finesht wiht my morrwoind mod for teh JO An it takes up teh 900 gigabiets of spaec but i wlil not sowh yuo gyz teh scrnshoots becasue we dunat kare wut u gyz tihnk ne1 no wear i kan get ti hostad 4 dounlowd!!!!11!111 --Checksum

i tend to be indifferent about rejection, but i'm usually much more happy alone anyway.

------------------
mmm, smells like something burning.

bro's before ho's! yeah! *chugs a bottle of tequila and instantly passes out*

------------------
You will respect my authoritah!

[This message has been edited by Kieran Horn (edited January 05, 2004).]

lmao the "frat boy" has spoken

------------------
If there is a 50% chance that you are going to be right, there is a 90% chance that you will choose the wrong one ~SithNazgul, the 50-50-90 rule

I think the Do-do died out in the 30's.. Maybe one of them was your life long partner.

Hmm.. people agreeing with Pagewizard.. *looks for four horsemen.*

------------------
MadQuack on Military school: Pro's: I get to shoot a gun. Con's: Everything else.
"I'm going to beat you until the laws of physics are violated!!" ! Maeve's Warcry

RIP -MaDaVentor-. You will be missed.

Kieran, that Wusiness/Assertiveness bit has officially vaulted you to godlike status in my book.