(Let's see how this turns out...)

You are one of many nation-state factions entangled in an increasingly-tense, global cold war. Your only hope for survival is to use your resources to develop and sell weapons of mass destruction to your rivals to increase your resources for defense.

Everyone starts with 100 resource points. When developing a weapon of mass destruction (make sure to make it identifiable as your own!), it costs twice the resource points you intend to sell each unit for. You can not use your own weapons in accordance to the Lozier Accord drafted from the last world war; breaking this accord results in immediate destruction from the automated, independent, and invincible Lozier orbital laser.

For example, I am the ruthless leader of Gebonia. My nation-state has developed the G-bomb, leaving our nation with 80 resource points. Buy now!

G-Bomb
G<
Cost: 10 resource points per unit

Each weapon of mass-destruction can damage an equal amount of resource points equal to its cost. Launching 1 G-bomb at your opponent will do 10 points of damage to them.

The game reaches a climax when the first nation-state is destroyed. When that happens, everyone must launch their weapons at each other (your choice who you launch them). The nation-state that had destroyed the most and remains alive wins.

BY IMPERIAL DECREE of Lord Grismath the tired, the Burgerbeam has been created!

The Burgerbeam is a compact and mobile energy-delivery apparatus, optimized for wide-range coverage. Your opponents will watch in despair as their populations grow morbidly obese while at the same time less intelligent, ultimately cudgeling one another in a gory fight over food.

Warning: the burgerbeam is an odious weapon, and wielding it may result in severe, international reputational damage to the owner.

The Burgerbeam brings new meaning to the term "mass destruction," and as such, costs mass amounts of moulah. Our award-winning cost-cutting approaches allowed us to develop the weapon for only 90 resource points, and we've passed the savings on to you, the war-mongering consumer, for the low, low, gotta-have-it price of 45 resource points! Come get it!

Resource points left: 10

We also buy a G-bomb, merely for self-defense.

Resource points left: 0
Arsenal: G-bomb (10 dmg)

I gotta buy me a burgerbeam!

Arsenal:
1 burgerbeam

Total resource:
45

In recognition of the fast-growing demand for weapons of mass destruction, and of the abundant resources well-fitted for entering the market of such present in the City-Nation of Pomeria, the Council of Elders have decreed and seen the execution of the harvesting of the Pomerian Pomust, a relative of the locust indigenous and exclusive to Pomeria. Biologists of Pomeria have determined that the Pomust is capable of, and has an instinctual desire to consume not only agriculture, but nearly every material present in this world, including but not limited to steel and other alloys, human and animal flesh, concrete, glass, rubber, plastic, clay, metals, and other natural and synthetic materials essential to life and industrialization.

Pomerian scientists have developed a way to capture and store Pomusts for future release and use as a weapon of mass destruction at a resource cost of 2 resource points per Pomust. Pomerian arms dealers are thus selling the Pomusts at one resource point each.


In the interest of self-preservation, and in a gesture of goodwill to countries that may fall to famine as a result of the use of Pomusts, Pomeria will also, by decree of the Council of Elders, purchase one Burgerbeam.

Total resource points remaining: 53.
Arsenal: Burgerbeam

Oh rival Pommy, you might want to assassinate your accountants because you have 53 points left, not 43. And now that'll be 54 for you because I wish to buy one!

Arsenal:
1 burgerbeam (45 damage)
1 pomerian pomust (1 damage)

Total resource:
44

Oh, and for all interested, G-bombs go boom. Simple and effective: everybody in the family needs one of these!

It's time for Kiensland to step up their production of heavy ordnance for the more discerning corporate dictator. As such, we present to you... THE TACTICAL SHARK CANNON.

The Tactical Shark Cannon is a revolutionary new long-range anti-civilization weapon, brought to you in part by Röntgenade. Röntgenade: When you need a rad boost, drink Röntgenade. The premise is simple: we already know the destructive power of artillery, and how awesome sharks are. By the powers of SCIENCE, alongside Röntgenade's unique thirst-quenching systems, we have combined this into a long range tactical artillery cannon. But not just any ordinary long range tactical artillery cannon, oh no. No, the Tactical Shark Cannon, on impact, releases hundreds of sharks mounted on rockets. But that's not all, because each shark is also filled with a hundred pounds of TNT! *

All of this can be yours for the low, low cost of 25 resource units apiece. Tactical Shark Cannon - when you absolutely, positively must destroy any other crazed, capitalistic nationstate, accept no substitutes. But don't just take our word for it, let's hear what others have to say?

"I knew I make right choice when buying Tactical Shark Cannon! Tactical Shark Cannon lay waste to all pigdog opponents!"
-- Alexei Dormanov, People's Free Social Democratic Populace of Freedomonia.

"Ich used der Tactikal Shark Cannon und der opponentnen surrendered right avay! Das war der bestest!"
-- Hans Gurenexplosion, Federal State of Totalleskrieg.

You can't beat testimonials like that, eh? And for a limited time only, each purchase will net you a FREE case of NEW Raspberry Röntgenade!**

Of course, with our fifty remaining resource points, we're going to wait and see what else is on to offer for the moment.

*Aim away from face. Do not look into the barrel, or death may result.
**No purchase necessary. Offer ends whenever we get blown off the face of the Earth. While stocks last.

Gebonia is #1 in the arms market, purchasing the latest and greatest available. To celebrate, this great nation-state is releasing a new product for sale -- G's Lucky Strike! G's Lucky Strike cruise missiles are engineered by the top 100 luckiest people alive, and each are packaged with at least 100 lucky items*! You can purchase one now for the low price of 7 resource points! Stock up on plenty of these, and you're sure to be a winner!

*Disclaimer: Gebonia can not guarantee the quality of luck for the lucky items. Lucky items may or may not be our nation-state's garbage, which wouldn't be bad to rain on your rivals, now would it?

Arsenal:
1 burgerbeam (45 damage)
1 pomerian pomust (1 damage)
1 tactical shark cannon (25 damage)

Total resource:
5

Recognizing a growing need for nation-states to defend themselves, the almighty Leader of Roguelandia has commissioned the ultimate in biological warfare, the Putrid Ballistic Missile. Stenches have been gathered from all over the world, from the finest garbage dumps, mens locker rooms, even going so far as to collect them from victims of the Burgerbeam! Only the finest ingredients are used in our weapons guaranteed to overcome your enemies in a cloud of noxious fumes and horrible odors. Because of the difficulties of collecting the ingredients for this weapon, 40 resource points were used in its production. So now you may have it for the low low price of only 20 resource points!

However, recognizing the need to protect ourselves as well, the all knowing Leader has decreed that a Burgerbeam will be purchased. Not only will we be able to defend ourselves, but production of the Putrid Ballistic Missile will remain possible with this purchase.

Arsenal:

Burgerbeam (45 damage)

Resource Points:

15

Oh hi dare, we here at dah Ma and Pa's war emporium wanna innerduce ya to our latest nucular device:

Its dah 5 pound, fully automatic dwarf replicator and deployment system. All ya gatta do is push a dwarf in, pick a target, and den push dah fire buttun! Oh jeez, wait till ya see dah glass missile full a dem little people! Dah trip pisses em off, and day land in your enemy base hungry fer flesh! Only 59.99!

Just come on down to Ma and Pa's War Emporium on the corner of Belknap and Main street! Where if you can tink it, Oh yeah, you betcha: We got it!

(Costs 30 resources, made with 60 resources)

Resources left:

40

Your weapon doesn't quite work Kirbs.

(Respectable rival Kirby, nation-states only start with 100 resource. The most expensive weapon you could sell right now is 50 points.)

Some of you out there might be thinking "Oh sure, everyone and their mother these days are offering weapons that will wipe out the world, but my blood-lust requires a personal touch. How can I destroy just the first born of my most hated enemies?" With our new line of biological weapon of mass destruction, G's Baby Bomb -- at the cost of only 2 points!!!

Remember, Gebonia offers the finest with:
The original, classic G-bomb (10)
G's Lucky Strike (7)
G's Baby Bomb! (2) New!

Gebonia will also support an economy that thinks of the budget of the average family, Pomeria, by buying another of their pomerian pomusts.

Arsenal:
1 burgerbeam (45 damage)
2 pomerian pomusts (1 damage each)
1 tactical shark cannon (25 damage)

Total resource:
0

(Alright people, you gotta buy my stuff now if you want me to buy yours... :ninja:...)

(Fixd. I can't believe I missed that)

Roguelandia, recognizing the need for better defense, decides that with its current resources, G's Lucky Strike will provide for better defense against aggressor nations, and purchases two of them. Also, the great and powerful Leader, recognizing that his 1 remaining resource point doesn't do him any good sitting in his nations bank, decides upon the purchase of 1 Pomerian Pomust

Arsenal:

1 Burgerbeam (45 damage)
2 G's Lucky Strike missiles (7 damage)
Pomerian Pomust (1 damage)

Resources:
0

Also, most illustrious Gebohq, you have not fully explained how combat works in this conflict, nor how much damage a nation can take before it is destroyed.

Since more nations need to blow each other up, and show off their capabilities to their girlfriends, the nation of Veger has devleoped the Readily Energized Trambler And Retribution Decimator. This took hours to research and develop, and has resulted in the brain and brass of a football lineman with the speed and power of a desk-dwelling scientist.
Costs: 30 resource points

Ready
Energized
Trambler
And
Retribution
Decimator

or

RETARD
Can be purcahsed for 15 points

Veger remaining points: 70

The sage leaders of Bobbertopia, in providing for defense and welfare of all Bobbertopians, have developed the Rapid Massassi Brute Squad Delivery System (RMBSDSYS).
For a fee of only 10 points, this technological marvel promptly delivers a squad of highly trained mercenaries anywhere in the world in order to take care of whatever business you deem necessary.
The sage leaders of Bobbertopia have also decided that acquisition of the Burgerbeam will help secure the Bobbertopians from attacks on their food stock, as well as providing the opportunity to reduce opposing countries to lethargic MB wannabes if the circumstances so require.

Weapon for sale:
1 RMBSDSYS for a mere 10 resources.

Resources left: 35

Arsenal: 1 Burgerbeam

The MacLongnamian Free State believes this is all quite mad, and will not be purchasing any of your death machines, nor will it develop and sell you the rope you could use to hang it. Kthx.

Total resource: 100

(Combat works by you being all "I attack so and so with such and such!" and they take as much damage as those weapons deal. A nation-state can take as much damage as they have resources; think of zero resources as zero shields -- a nation-state will fall if they take any more damage beyond that. Ideally, once MAD sets in, everyone would launch at the same time, but since that's not feasible on a message board, it'll just be first-post first-strike. However, when MAD starts, the market for buying more weapons will be closed (otherwise it'll just go on for some time probably). Defeating a nation-state means they will not be able to launch their weapons. Yay itchy trigger fingers! Hopefully that makes enough sense (and will work well enough). Remember that MAD only takes place once a nation has been completely destroyed. Let me know if this doesn't seem to work (though I would suggest waiting until we actually try it out first). Anyways...)

I see through your ways, MacLongnamian Free State! Your pacifistic airs are just a front for building your power. PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE!

Gebonia launches an attack against the MacLongnamian Free State with their tactical shark cannon! Lose a quarter of your resources!

Will this launch an attack to destroy a nation-state and trigger MAD? We'll find out!

Gebonia's inventory for sale:
The original, classic G-bomb (10)
G's Lucky Strike (7)
G's Baby Bomb! (2)

Gebonia's arsenal:
1 burgerbeam (45 damage)
2 pomerian pomusts (1 damage each)

Gebonia's total resources:
14

The nation of Veger buys one Tactical Shark Cannon from Gebonia, in an attempt to break down trade-barriers and maintain a defensive core.

Current RP: 45
Current Arsenal:
1 Tactical Shark cannon

Currently Selling:
RETARD (15)

Oh and Question:

So aren't you destroyed if you have 0 Resource Points?
Or am I confused?

Good point. How about when a nation reaches below zero? At least since some of us already sort of spent all our resources before thinking about that... EDIT: Nix the questioning tone -- this works fine, if you think of resources in this case like shields. A nation has not fallen at this point; they're just defenseless.

Also, Tony sold the Tactical Shark Cannon, so you'd be buying it from him, not from me.

Sometimes, the best way to defeat any enemy is not by blowing them up. The humble nation of Egopotamia offers for sale the SpamtamX. This innocuous little device burrows deep into your enemies networks and replaces all communications with mortgage offers and amateur porn. Your enemies will be too busy refinancing their homes to notice the thermo-nuclear warhead headed their way.

Each package includes one SpamtamX, two thermo-nuclear warheads, a synthesized rubber warhead launching device* and a complete instruction booklet.

Each SpamtamX package can be yours for a mere 10 resources!

In the spirit of the free market, Egopotamia will purchase a Dwarf Replicator.

Resources :
50

Arsenal :
1 Dwarf replicator

*Delivery system is not a rubber band. Promise.

Dammit.

Total resource: 75

In the secret base on Mt. Vegie, the iron-fisted ruler's minions have been constructing the Valhalla missile. This bio-chemical device triggers a drastic change in the atmosphere of the targeted location, creating extremely violent storms involving massive tornados, lightning, and torrents of water from the rain. The horrendous storms will leave a wake of destruction hundreds of miles wide.

The small Vegienation purchases one G-Bomb and one RETARD.

Arsenal:
G-bomb (10)
RETARD (15)

For Sale:
The Valhalla missile (25)

Resources: 25

To Geb: How about attackers gain the resources that they take from other nations.

Emperor Daniel of the Zarn Empire has recently realized what direction the world is going in, and in doing so has authorized the sale of stockpiled weapons left over from the last world war.

The first weapon series has been gathered from their dusty warehouses; the AMDT (Automated Mass-Destructive Tank). This tank appears to be a conventional Zarn War Machines, LTD. assualt tank, however it contains robotic and computer systems needed to fully automate it. The main feature of this tank, however, is not the fact that it is an AI driven tank- no, it is the thermonuclear warhead nestled safely in the armored hulk. All tanks come with a Zarn War Machines, LTD. lifetime warrentee with accidental damage coverage.*

AMDT cost: 40 RU (-80 research cost to me )

Warrantee does not cover nuclear blast damage from normal wear.

The Empire of Zarn purchases 5 G baby bombs (10 RU) and 5 pomusts (5 RU)

Arsenal:
5 G baby bombs (2 DMG/ea)
5 Pomerian pomusts (1 DMG/ea)

RU (Resource Units):
5

That's more like Risk and traditional strategy games. This isn't a game of conquest, it's a game of absurd annihilation. I didn't restrict people from forming alliances if they wanted, though, if they should want to risk that.

Neato.

Emporer Qwerty Uiop of the New Roman Empire has seen the need for defense, and for this need has researched the Awesomus Maximus: a 1 megaton nuclear bomb designed for traditional nuclear warfare. This bomb is the perfect choice for a nation looking to conserve resource points, costing only 15. Awesomus Maximus: the finest in Roman weapons. Get yours today!

The New Roman Empire, however, recognizes that other nations offer quality weapons, and purchases a G-bomb.

Arsenal:
G-bomb (10 damage)

Resource points: 60

What do we do about our own nation? Do we get an unlimited stockpile or something of our own weapons?

Your nation is dependent on buying arms from your rivals. The only limit to how much of their weapons you can buy is how much you can afford.

Yep. Given that we're using weapons of mass destruction, it doesn't make much sense to expect that the resources we destroy are going to be in any condition for us to use.

...

The MacLongnamian Free State is pissed. Seriously. Leave us the hell alone, we didn't do anything to you. And we're still not going to.

Total resource: 75

with the rest of the world participating in this arms race, the militant nation of Alranicus hurries to catch up. we are offering the latest in wide spread devastation: the Ricin Aerosol bomb, otherwise known as the 'RAB' For a limited time only the nefarious RAB can be yours for only 20 resource points!!! (40 resource points to build)

and the nation of Alranicus also purchases, 1 G-bomb, 5 pomerian pomust's, and one tactical shark cannon...

FOR SALE:
RAB (20 resource points)

Arsenal:
1 G-bomb (10 damage)
5 pomerian pomusts (1 damage each)
1 tactical shark cannon (25 damage)

Total resource points:
20

Well, I'm completely confused.

Everyone seems to be buying G-bombs and Shark cannons, but from what you said earlier, once one is made, that's the only one? Or does that mean there are as many of those as people buy them.

IE:
I made an A-bomb.
Joe smith buys it.

Can Ed Smith buy an A-bomb, or does he have to wait until A: I build another one, B: Joe smith sells it, or C: Ed decides to buy something from someone else?

Yeah, can I sell multiple dwarf replicators while only spending my initial 60 points?

Current Points: 70

By the way: Particular nations have not spent any resources, and thus are at 100%. I do believe it would be wise to attack the nation with the most resources, but weakest arsenal. That would leave the strategic weapons to the rest of us citizens.

Speaking of which, there's a lot of strategy to this game that I didn't see before: If you can only wound an enemy, but they've got a weapon that can kill you, you're in for a hurtin. You shouldn't wound what you can't kill.

I'm going to buy one of Darth Alran's Ricin Aerosol bomb.

Current Arsenal:
Ricin Aerosol Bomb (40)

Current Resources: 50

Also, if the rules allow it: CONFIRMED! Buy us out of stock!

Ma and Pa's War Emporium wants YOU to take advantage of our high tech, state of the art Dwarf Replicator! We've got Dwarf Replicators rolling off the shelves! Get one for kicks and send a pile of midgets to China! Impress your co workers! Get laid at the office by your hot boss or boss' hot wife AND daughter!

Once developed, other nations can buy as many as they'd like. You do not need to pay for each one they buy.

While you are correct about the strategy, Kirby, keep in mind that as soon as one nation is destroyed, that will trigger MAD. So hope you have a high hand and some luck when the time comes.

Also, I'm not sure what your last bit is suggesting, Kirby. Are you trying to give away your dwarf replicator weapons?

Hell no. I'm trying to imply that we have SO many to sell!

Also: It's doubtless that I will go down first. JM, who is often anti-kirby in every thread, likely bought my weapon to use it on its creator. Not to mention, in Werewolves, I died on the first night, both on massassi, and the first time we played in game design class. I'm marked.

Ah, ok. Yeah, that's the idea. Unlike certain dirty hippie communes not even making or buying weapons of mass destruction... I should attack the MacLongnamian Free State again for not doing the right thing and buying weapons to retaliate against us. Instead, I'll let them wait and wonder how much longer they have to live...

(Can I fire weapons in the same post that I buy them?)

Lord Grismath of the Grismath Empire is incensed and disgusted by the belligerent acts of Gebonia against the pacifist MacLongnamian Free State and boldly steps forth to secure MacLongnamia's continued sovereignty and existence.

Lord Grismath invites the compassionate and wise leaders of the world to unite in response to Gebonia's dastardly aggression and hereby EMBARGO Gebonia, refusing to fuel this callous war machine with further resources buy purchasing the widowing weapons they peddle. The Grismath Empire urges like-minded nation states to publicly pledge their commitment to not buying from the tyrannical, bullying Gebonia.

Resources:
180
Stockpile:
G-bomb (10)

Lord Grismath offers to sell the Grismath Empire's G-bomb, so as to divest itself from Gebonia, to the MacLongnamian Free State for that nation's defense, at a subsidized price of 5 resource units.

In an effort to stimulate the economies of those nations who wisely purchased Burgerbeams, the Grismath Empire is happy to trade.

Purchases:
20 Pomerian Pomusts (-20 RU)
1 Putrid Ballistic Missile (-20 RU)
2 RMBSDSYS (-20 RU)
Net: -60 RU

Resource Units:
120

Stockpile:
20 Pomerian Pomusts (20 dmg)
1 Putrid Ballistic Missile (20 dmg)
2 RMBSDSYS (20 dmg)

1 G-bomb (earmarked for sale)

With 125 Resource units, we of Kiensland are not content with merely giving you the option of lobbing shark-laden warheads at your enemies, oh no! Why now, we can bring to you the best in anticivilization technology with the all-new Quantum Force Terminator!

The Quantum Force Terminator works on the principle of Applied Phlebotinum. We won't bore you with the science, but needless to say that such an awesome weapon will crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and allow you to hear the lamentation of their women, or your money back!*

Now only yours for a measly 60 resource units! Be the envy of your fellow man, and destroy him if he starts something - but only with the Quantum Force Terminator! Available from all good retailers.

Summary:

FOR SALE
Tactical Shark Cannon - 25 RU
Quantum Force Terminator - 60 RU

CURRENT ARMOURY
Oh dear.

CURRENT RESOURCES
5.

*Not advisable to be within range of lamenting women, as blast radius far exceeds auditory range.

Also, stupid filters, filtering out Cue Eff Tee.

Furthermore, although restrained from total destruction by a love of humanity, the Grismath Empire launches a retaliatory, surgical strike against the economy of Gebonia with 13 Pomeranian Pomusts, so as to cripple the Gebonic economy.

We purchase a Tactical Shark Cannon for 25 RU. (we're assuming Kirbs purchased 2 RABs for 40, since 40 was the R&D cost)

Resource Units:
95

Stockpile:
7 Pomerian Pomusts (7 dmg)
1 Putrid Ballistic Missile (20 dmg)
2 RMBSDSYS (20 dmg)
1 Tactical Shark Cannon (25 dmg)

1 G-bomb (10 dmg) (earmarked for sale)

Also:

INTRODUCING the Robbite. In these dark times, Lord Grismath has decreed the production of the Robbite, a small bomb filled with the collected angst of an entire postal service.
2 resources a piece.

Resources Units: 91

Egopotamia would like to inform Ma and Pa's War Emporium that Egopotamia purchased the Dwarf Replicator for 20 resource points, and it deals 20 damage. Using a weapon on it's creator results in the attacker losing the cost in resource points, and the seller staying as if no weapon had been purchased at all. Egopotamia assures Ma and Pa's War Emporium that the weapon was purchased merely because it was hilarious.

However, the leaders of Egopotamia are very bored, and they do not like Emperor Daniel's mustache. Egopotamia launches it's Dwarf Replicator at the Zarn Empire, which does 20 damage, leaving the Zarn Empire with -15 resources.

A strike has been launched on the New Roman Empire using the RETARD which delivers 15 damage.

Arsenal:
1 G-bomb (10)

Current RU: 25

Wait, aren't we in MAD now?