We're not talking hypotheticals here, we're talking about real people. And this wasn't a long love affair that shes suddenly bailing on, this was a couple of weeks and life has gotten then best of her. Shes focusing on other priorities, and assuming shes a cheating whore is rediculous. Relationships aren't the focal point of all womens lives. Chill out and don't be so niave.

I never said I assumed she was a cheating whore, and I never said having other priorities other than relationships was bad for women. I said that it's junk that someone thinks it's doing the other person a favor by cutting the relationship off short. It's wrong to assume that's done for primarily altruistic reasons -- the person should just be honest and say that they can't make it work. So please chill out yourself, and don't assume things on my behalf.

1. Find other girl.
2. Knock the bottom out of it and make sure she can't walk right in the morning
3. ????
4. Profit.

Cat fight! *rawr*

Um, yeah, ok? I just don't understand why Mirthy singled me out. :S I pretty much said what a bunch of others said but minus the "women are cheating whores and not real people" part.

Geb - I think some of those remarks were directed at other people, too.

If you have a grand storybook love affair, sure, maybe you shouldn't let a little thing like time get in your way, But real life isn't fiction, and epic love affairs like that are rare.

I recently told someone I couldn't date him because I have no time, and guess what? It's true, I've been blowing off my friends because I'm always working, and on the off chance that I'm not working? I'm exhausted. I have no time, physical energy, and certainly emotional energy to devote to a relationship. Guess what? Real relationships take work. I'm not at a point in my life right now where I have the time or energy to put that kind of work into anything.

Geb, it is absolutely not "junk" to put yourself on your priority list. If she's really that stressed, a relationship is going to be just one more thing that has to go before herself on that list. And if it becomes a chore, than it absolutely is kinder to both of them to break it off. Being with someone shouldn't be just one more thing on your to do list. That's the point it reaches when you don't have the energy to devote to it.

There is such a thing as the right thing at the wrong time. As far as I understand it, she's not saying she never wants to speak to him again; she's saying that she needs to break it off right now. Maybe someday, when the timing is right, that will change.

But if you're going to be the kind of guy that calls her a whore for something like that, then I can definitely see why she broke it off.

Who let you out of the kitchen?

I did I needed help clearing the yard of trees. Only nine of the kids are home right now.

Oops utah joke

Never in history has anybody ever been too busy to screw. Nobody, ever. Not men, not women.

If you like someone, you make time for them. Simple.

ITT people who have never worked hard enough to have no free time.

ITT people who place shallow fame-seeking and greed over relationships.

oh no, a career/education is GREEDY and FAME-SEEKING.

ITT someone who has no idea what the **** he's talking about.

Sure are a lot of people getting rubbed the wrong way when truth is pointed out.

You're attempting to state a universal truth that simply isn't so.

I worked 50 hours/week and was taking 18 units at school for three quarters. Guess what! I still had time for dating and sexing. Why? I wanted to do it, so I found time.

Granted, it wasn't as much as when I wasn't in school over the summer, but it still happened.

Guess you could say you weren't working hard enough to have no free time then, huh?

Now you're just arguing semantics. "Never", "no free time."

Sure, and if we were talking about a **** buddy situation, that might be relevant.



Ah yes, and the world is always so simple. There are only 24 hours in a day, and one can only have so many demands on that time, but more than that, her energy, before they go insane.

Yes it's physically possible to have a crazy schedule and still date. That doesn't mean it's fair to her to expect it.

How is that semantics? You either were working hard enough to have no free time, or you weren't. You said you could make time, so you weren't working that hard. Pretty simple, not semantical, it's the entire point. Make a big deal out of it!

Good god, you're dense. Nevermind!

[Also, your new nickname is "Kielbasa Leg," because I heard someone called that at McDonald's today, and I thought it was funny.]

Let's try this again:

NOT JUNK:
"I'm sorry, but I can't make the time for a relationship right now." Still sucks, but it's not junk.

JUNK:
"I'm sorry, it's not fair for you to be in a relationship where you have little to no time with me." + not talking about it with said person if they really DO want to have a relationship with the person and feel the lack of time and energy etc. is the major factor.

She's probably banging Mirthy. That's what they teach in those girls colleges, you know.

Geb, she doesn't have to ask permission to dump him. If she decides that a relationship of any kind is not feasible, then she has every right to end it. If she'd talked to him and he'd said "it's okay, I'll wait until you have time," not only would it not have been fair to either of them, but it still would have been an emotional drain. You then feel like you're not being fair to the other person, and you still feel like you have to make time for them, just to assure them that you're still there and committed. No thank you. Should she have let him twiddle his thumbs until she decided her life wasn't so crazy anymore?

It's really amusing trying to understand how the female brain attempts to make sense

It's really amusing how people, when shafted in their romantic endeavors, blame the result on their partner's sex rather than human nature.

Haha, "shafted."



I ended a relationship one time because of my partner's sex.

Sex with like 2 other guys and 1 other girl.

My wife read the thread and says "It means, 'I don't like you, but I don't want to say that so I'm just going to make this stupid excuse.' "

It's really amusing how many guys here think it's just some sort of "female mindset" that's responsible here.

It's not really even about gender, you can see that by how the various girl-sassians and massassian-wives have different takes on this thread. Everyone thinks differently, and the only way you'd really know the motivation would be to ask and try to get a full explanation, or get inside HER head specifically.

Girls don't think /that/ differently from guys inwardly, really. It's just everyone is different, period.

I've pretty much vented in a lot of what I have said in this thread...

I wasn't a prick to her when we broke this off or anything... and what sugarless and mirthy have said are pretty damned close to what's going on here. She's working on her pharm tech license as well as working 40 hours a week, not to mention helping her parents take care of the "family business" which is something I'm not so sure as to what it is... and don't want to know.

So yeah, she's busy as hell, and I believe it. It's too bad. I really enjoyed being around her.

heh, what a whore

Venting's totally understandable.

...

Does anyone else think I'm making this same point too? I really wish I wasn't apparently failing to communicate my point here...

OK GEB OK. GEB TALK GOOD ENGRISH. GIRLS NO CAN UDNERSTAND GEB GOOD ENGRISH

That means that you place whatever the hell you're doing over that person, though. Don't try to deny it.

Geb, from what I understand, you think she should talk to him and give him the option of waiting her out. I'm saying that's a terrible idea.

Freelancer - I'm not. Sometimes there are more important things in a woman's life than a relationship. If, between say, job, school/liscensing/whatever, family, and the relationship, something has to give, which would you say she should give up?

like having babies, and making dinner. barefoot.

No, I get it that this is a situation that just didn't work out. There's no way to know what could happen in the future, really, but I'm really going to try to not burn bridges here or anything..

Once again, Steven, your replies leave me all

Communication is just one of those things that's always been problematic in my life, especially when it comes to others understanding what I'm saying. I've dedicated a good chunk of my life to do my best to improve my communication skills, and I intend to continue the process. If they understand what I've said and don't agree, then at least they've understood, and I consider that a success. I'm just trying to figure out if this is one person failing to understand what I said (in which case it's likely more their inability to read/hear) or if it's many people (in which case, I'd like to aim to improve to communicate better). I'm fairly certain most people don't care, but it bothers me a great deal.

You understand incorrectly. I'm not saying a woman needs permission to dump a guy if she does not want to make a relationship a priority over other things (or a guy's permission to dump a girl or whatever - gender is not the issue here). I'm saying if a woman really wants a relationship to be a priority, but feels her busy life or other priorities would not leave the time for one, she should talk to him. If she feels a relationship isn't a priority, she says as much, and doesn't try to convince anyone that the dumping is to "minimizing the pain" on his behalf. It's disingenuous to do so.

I thought my point was made clearer in my last response, though, and I'm having difficulty attempting to explain my point clearer without over-explaining and causing more confusion, so please at least trust me when I say it's not a matter of gender but honesty here. And I know we already disagree on that point, but as long as you understand that, I'll be set.