Obviously a judgment like this depends on whether you love the person. If you do—anything.

No, I never thought it was about gender.

[edit] really I'm just disagreeing on a small trivial part of your point [/edit]

Freelancer: Seriously? You don't love somebody if you have to focus more on essential goals for the future for the time being? In any event, I'm not talking about grand storybook love, like I said. So, you're right, if you have one of those crazy grand love affairs, you won't let time get in your way, but in most cases, the healthier choice is sometimes to focus on your goals and the many things in your life you have to get situated.

And Antony - yeah, you're off the hook here. Now we're arguing our points just to argue our points

Hooray! Er, I mean, HOW DARE YOU DISAGREE ON EVEN THE SMALLEST POINT FOR MY WORD IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH!

Damn straight.
I've been nutso busy over the past year but I still managed to get married. You don't call the ****ing thing off just because you have to pull a couple dozen all-nighters. I don't care how hard you have to work, or how little free time you have,... if something's important to you, you pull time away from things that don't matter so much... like sleep.

Right on! My trouble with a woman has caused trouble between the women of Massassi and the men!

A parable of our times...

Ah well if it worked for you, then clearly it's the best option for everyone!

Let's just say there are many variables in any given situation, which obviously includes the people involved, so to generalize without full knowledge of the situation is to make assumptions that may or may not have any truth. Not exactly the best thing to be doing.

It's not a question of options, it's a question of setting your priorities. And phony indignation aside, you know that if the dude who asked you out was a little bit taller, a little bit smarter and a little bit richer, you'd have done it too.

Why is it so impossible to believe that I really don't want to date anyone right now? Honestly? And trust me when my indignation is perfectly legitimate and serious as a heart attack.

God, this whole attitude is pissing me off. I'm not usually a bra-burning feminist type, but I'm really annoyed with the whole "A job? A life? A place of your own? No, what you really want is a man!" Seriously, dude?

I haven't seen my friends in weeks.

Thank you for assuming I'm just a shallow person. You're right, the first question I usually ask a man is his annual salary.

Uh, I wasn't personally reading them as inserting the word woman into their arguments so much as the word person.

Evidence being that Jon places himself in the same spot as the woman character.

The real problem is that none of us really have any idea of how busy the rest are.

I've been very clear that what I'm saying applies to men, too. A bit sensitive, are you?

I do apologize. I'm equally offended to be cast as just another shallow person. It's fixed.

[edit: also: I was in no way saying that the whole argument was about gender, I was responding specifically to the last comment Jon made]

God, nobody said shallow either.

I'll tell everyone I don't have a place in my life for a significant other either, but you can be sure that if the right person came along I would change that in a heartbeat.

That's all these people are saying, that if someone is really ****ing awesome enough you're going to fit them in or drop everything else.

That's it.

Wishful thinking Steven?

Really, Spook?

Yeah, God forbid someone thinks you'd be more attracted to a more attractive person.

Come on, it's Jon. Do you honestly think he married his wife because she was tall rich and handsome? He is giving you a hard time. A common tactic people resort to when someone isn't listening to them.

Here's an idea: sugarless, not only are you shallow, but you also have a blazing persecution complex and a desperate craving for vindication.

I believe that Jon is suggesting you, me, all of us are influenced by shallow notions in some way, and that it's likely we'd be swayed even if we think we won't.

Well you clearly know me best. You must be right.

I'm pretty sure I did.

Maybe she dumped you because you're an idiot.

Yeah that's what I said.

Okay everyone...

DAMMIT BLACK KIDS, PUT SOME EFFORT IN YOUR DANCING.

I find it amusing that you suggest, in the end, it is impossible for any human to resist the temptation of a relationship if the temptation is great enough.

I'd say that's more shallow of an outlook on humanity than the desire to achieve any other goal in our lives.

That's not his point; his point, as I understand it, is simple: we make time for what's important to us. This is a truth I adhere to and believe. Sure, there are instances where we simply cannot do what we want ("Well ****, I'm a Marine in Afghanistan, I can't go to Disneyland with my brother tomorrow."). But, in the big picture, what's important to us, we find (or make) time for.



[Wait wait wait, Jonk got married? Or is he using that as an example? If so, congrats... that poor woman!]

Good point, Steven... I see what you mean...

I don't like tomatoes on my sandwiches.

I don't mean to make you feel bad Bill. Two weeks isn't much time; sometimes we have busy times in our life (like ****ing finals week!). She (or anyone, really) might be legitimately busy for a few weeks, but if this "excuse" is consistent, it indicates a priority pattern.

Obviously, there are always exceptions to the rule. Growing up, I played tee-ball on Saturdays in the free/cheap city league. For a full season, my dad never went to a single game. Why? Was it unimportant? No. He was working two jobs so I could have a house and play tee-ball. He wanted to be there, but couldn't. But guess what! After his schedule changed, he was there. During that season, he would only sleep 4 hours between his shifts so he and I could watch Star Trek and Magnum P.I. at 2am. He made time, even if it wasn't what would have been considered "the best" time.

If someone really wants something, they make it work. As yours was a young relationship, I can't really blame the girl for ending it. It may have been too "new" or "risky" to make a major change. You need to accept that and move on. It sounds like you have. I hope it all works out for you.

Plus, *****es be crazy.

Well, Steven it all started with her dog getting run over by a car. She took that really badly, and that pretty much spurred the weird and distant behavior from the last 2 weeks.

I think she's just having a total meltdown personally... And I dig her a lot... and I know she's busy, but up until two weeks ago she made time. But you know, like I said, she's got a lot of **** going on. So I don't know what the hell is going on.

Honestly I expect she'll contact me before the week is out and we'll probably work something out.

Sounds like she's going through a "rough patch" and just needs some time to calm down. It happens from time to time.

Don't push the issue. You might call her in a few days and ask if she needs a break and wants to get coffee/laid, but if she says no, don't call her anymore.

I really hope it works out, I know the frustration.

That's my plan, Steven.

Thanks for the good luck.

I don't want to read this entire thread but I just stopped in to say that I hope you're not taking it too hard & that I told you so.

I know a girl who is always busy and works probably way more than she needs to - She's showing signs of becoming an alcoholic. She probably won't admit it but I feel that all her hard work is just making her miserable and possibly pushing her toward a burn out. I'm also worried that the degree she's working so hard on is probably one of those that isn't very useful beyond something to hang on the wall. No way she'd listen if you tried to tell her any of that though.

Welp.

Speak for yourself

Hey, sorry that you thought I was being Jon 'C and assuming that I know everything about you. ;-) And I wasn't just picking on your comments, I was commenting on what a few people had said. You didn't call her a whore, but someone else did. And people should be honest in their romantic dealings, but I bet she was being honest. She honestly thought this was the best idea for the both of them.

To be honest, Mirthy, I think she's just being a chicken **** about the whole situation.