So I was just wondering, polling, idly puzzling over a question that has absolutely nothing to do with anything that I may or may not have been subjected to recently... >.>

So, say you're out at the movies with a girl. You don't know her very well, but apparently you just think you're the s***. She gives absolutely no encouraging signs or signals. Do you kiss her? To be more detailed, say you're staring at a movie screen, so her face is not towards you. Do you grab her chin and force it towards you in order to accomplish said kiss (that she gave no encouraging signal for)?

Say said girl kisses you back. It was dumb of her, but she just reacted, so you can be forgiven for thinking that she wanted her face attacked repeatedly. Do you then think that she probably wants her chest grabbed in said public movie theater as well? Do you generally think that "you've got great ****" is enough seductive banter to overcome her reasons for saying "I should probably go"?

I'm just trying to understand if there's some kind of code menfolk like to follow.

After her repeatedly saying "Yeah I should really go," is it then appropriate to say on your way out "So, do you want to make out in the rain or go for it in the car?" Are those really the two options you would think are available?

I'm not good at this dating thing, so I just want to hear about what is and isn't considered appropriate.

Yea, none of that is appropriate. That sounds awful.

he's a forceful dick, stay away and don't ever even hint of wanting to be with him

What a dick.

You should have been far more direct. Being thrown off guard at first is understandable, but beyond that, what everyone else said. He was a dick, and you should have responded by kneeing him in what he is.

Sounds like the guy just doesn't give a frak.

basically if you want to be really slutty (i'm guessing no by your tone?) you slobberingly make out/**** on the first date

otherwise don't

CARRY A GUN

p much this

He sounds like an amateur because he didn't pull the "popcorn trick."

dickcorn dick

hes a tool. cease contact.

The dude kept grabbing my hips and bringing them to him with this self congratulatory smirk and I wanted to be like "Congratulations. You have a hard on. Well done, sir. Good luck taking care of that. On your own."

Instead I just peaced out and left it unsaid.

I would hope that sugarless knows how to respond now in the present, people. If she doesn't, then I'd be pretty concerned, to say the least.

I'm still admittedly disappointed how apathetic sugarless seemed to have responded to this whole situation. "Oh, this dick is being a tool. I think I'll just sit here silently and keep him from getting past second base."

Pretty much that.

Want me to call him for you?

I'm kind of disappointed myself, Geb.

You should have said "Well, if that's all you've got in the pants, I wasted my time, and you wasted $25 on movie tickets."

Also, this one time a guy went too far with my little sister. My Louisville Slugger and I had a "come to Jesus" with him. We never saw him again. If you have brothers, let them know.

You know a guy only fails at hooking up if the girl stops him. It's your call. If you don't want to hook up, tell him no. More than that... if you have no interest why are you going on a date with him to begin with? I'm not saying you should fool around in the theater. For one, it's a waste of money, and secondly, it gives a pretty distinct impression of what he wants out of you. I've hooked up in a theater twice. Once I had no interest whatsoever in the girl I was dating and the second time I was working at the theater and my girlfriend came in to visit me, which was, in retrospect, pretty stupid.

Establish ground rules of sorts. Don't sit down and spell out your dos and don'ts or anything, but don't be a tease. If you're not there to get down, don't act like you are, and you'll find you run into these situations a lot less. That sucks that the guy just wanted to get some.

1) While it's of course a good idea to communicate your attentions, the lack of a YES ought to be enough to make someone back off; the guy's an *** for completely apathetic as to whether he's receiving any signals, not just for ignoring overt expressions of disinterest.

2) If there's one phrase I hate, it's "don't be a tease." Maybe I don't exactly know what my intentions are all the time; the point of going on a date is to get to know someone better. People have a right to back out of a situation at any point if they decide they're not happy with it.

3) It's not her fault that she ended up in a sucky situation; the guy is to blame for his own dickish behavior.


sugarless, clearly this guy isn't interested in you as an individual; indications that he basically has no notion that you have feelings of your own are a BAD sign, and his behavior was completely inappropriate. Sorry that you had to experience it.

Thanks

What I mean when I say "don't be a tease" is don't wear slutty clothes and fool around with the guy all night and then just act like nothing happened at all and be shocked when the guy tries to get in your pants. That's what a tease is. A tease is not a girl that doesn't put out.

EDIT: I'm not saying you DID THAT. I'm saying if you don't do that, you'll avoid situations like this.

I think a swift knee in the balls followed by "TRY BEING POLITE" might have served you well.

This is a rant disguised as a question, right? I mean, I can't imagine how the answer could be "No, that's totally normal and the guy isn't a prick."

Not on this dude's side by any means, but why the **** did you accept/return the kiss if you weren't interested in the guy?

That's a pretty strong signal and probably explains his behavior at any other point later in the date...

Your story pretty much seems like both the guy and the girl are responsible for the "intentions misunderstanding" here... You showed a clear signal that you were ready to be physical (eg. accepting/returning a kiss) and he clearly interpreted this as a go ahead... so he made stupid physical advances assuming the kiss was completely acceptable and that you were comfortable with him physically.

her kissing back doesnt give him the right to grab her and rub his boner on her or ask her if she wants to "go for it in the car" it just gives him the right to attempt an other kiss because, sorry sugarless, thats definitely a signal of some sort of interest.

But how was the movie?

oh sugarless, you saucy minx. you're always leading the guys on.

Heh, I would have seen that coming from a mile away had I been able to see him. xD

No really, I'm deadly accurate when it comes to "reading people like a book" (body movement, whatever). I know we shouldn't do it, but everytime I don't, things get nasty. So I pretty much just stick with it. But that's totally unrelated... wonder why I said it. Oh well.

Anyway yeah, total dick. Totally should've slapped him after the grabbing. Make a big scene in the theater. Hell had I been there to witness it as one of your friends I'd have gotten pretty upset and done it myself

Because I'm just like that.

To follow up with RingMaster481, what movie was it?

On one hand, you did return the kiss. Sometimes the guy doesn't need a specific signal to want to try and kiss the person they are interested in. You give it a shot, hope for the best. You need to remember, if you said yes to going to the theater with him, there was at least a bare minimum of interest (or it could have sympathy but he doesn't know that.) He tried to show his interest, it was mistakenly returned with the 'forced' kiss. Trying to kiss someone you are interested in, on a date, isn't an insane concept.

HOWEVER!

His means to show said interest were pretty ridiculous though. Plus, he just went bloody crazy afterwards. My goodness. Firstly, you don't start/attempt to grope her privately or publically after one kiss, you don't continually smother her with kisses, nor do you (jesus christ) invite her to make out in the rain or have a little parking session. I'd say none of that is appropriate without their being a truly genuine show of interest.

I'd say you did make a little mistake and gave off the wrong idea by returning the kiss but you are seriously not to blame for his ludicrous behavior. The only real advice I can give is to be more forward with how you are feeling. No vague "I should probably go" even if a sane person should get the picture. Just be honest and upfront about it, "Stop that." or "I am not enjoying this."

I'm very sorry it turned out this way for you.

On that note, whatever happened to us getting married. Wtf girl! No patience! PFFFFRRTTT!

Oh and yea... accepting a kiss doesn't mean in anyway "I'm ready for physical!" like someone said above. That's just stupid.

I won't say that it's normal, but it's how I do all of my dates. Because they tend to end quickly that way, I can squeeze in about four or five dates in a single night.

You wolf!

it's awesome how you can tell who is a virgin itt

you'd think a virgin would have the best advice about refusing sex, but...

I'd suggest you stop seeing him, however it seems women today prefer jackasses to respectable men of society. So, 'said girl' should probably marry him and enjoy a life of abuse.

I think that there are 2 questions that you should be asking.

1. What is it about guys like this that you find appealing?
2. What is it about you that guys like this find appealing?

It sounds like you went out on a date with a borderline date-rapist & then you're asking us whether or not his date-rape tactics were appropriate. Some men are able to be romantic or at least pretend to be romantic, despite their biology. Other men aren't. You need to learn to discern the difference & if you fail to do so, remove yourself from the situation when you've made a mistake. The fact that you posted a thread about his behavior shows that you already know that said behavior was inappropriate. You should also be more careful about who you kiss. You don't want to lead someone like that on unless you're simply looking for a one night stand. If you're looking for a one night stand, which is perfectly fine, then I think you just walked away from your chance.

A. I would have left after being forced to the kiss. Your mistake was returning it there.
B. Nothing else he did was warranted by your actions however, and frankly you are too nice Kick guys like him next time, hard.
C. Are you really even asking if that was appropriate or did you just want to tell everyone how much of an *** your date was x nights ago?

Almost everything in life can be classified as this:


The niceness was > 2x SD from the average value to the left
the inappropriateness was > 2x SD from the average value to the right

Too bad, this **** happens. More often then you think. You made no mistake, just... move on. Don't think about it, don't start thinking about what you did wrong (you didn't), just ... don't think about it

give us his name/address

the MBS offers you their services

Well, all you have to do is check if the username is "kyle90."